"Common Interests"
By: Lt. Shirik Lektar, Operations
Commander Lyrr Tayla, First Officer

Location: Sickbay, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.30, 01h00

***

Shirik was not happy. She had learned that morning, thanks to Kaven Lucas, that Ben had been gravely injured and was in sickbay, yet when she tried several times throughout the day to visit him, she was sent away and told that Commander Lyrr had ordered only senior staff may see him. She could think of no reason for such an order, especially given that one nurse had told her Tebrianne Bancroft was one of the few allowed inside.

Kaven had told her what few details he knew, that Ben had been stabbed in the chest on the holodeck, and that Lyrr had been there with him. Wild rumors were circulating the ship, that Lyrr had stabbed him in a fit of jealousy, that they'd had a lover's quarrel, that she'd gone to the holodeck and found Ben there with Tebrianne making mad love. But Shirik knew what rubbish rumors could be, and she knew Ben well enough to surmise what had happened, and why. What she didn't know was why she couldn't see him. There was only one person to ask.

Everyone was kept busy with the ship landing, and it was late when Shirik was finally able to track Lyrr down. The computer helpfully told her that Lyrr was in sickbay. So Shirik waited outside, in the corridor, knowing she had to come out sooner or later. She was still in uniform, and looked worn out and a bit on the thin side, as she had been looking more and more lately, and she paced with arms crossed and a frown on her face.

The object of her rage stalked through sickbay's double doors moments later, with eyes lowered to the ground and shoulders slumped. This wasn't the confident, determined Executive Officer she had come to recognize, and as if in a daze, she strode past Shirik without even a glance her way.

The way Lyrr looked deflated a bit of her anger, which was replaced with concern for Ben. Maybe he wasn't doing as well as the nurses had said. "Commander," she said, trying to gain the woman's attention as she strode past.

It worked, and after displaying a moment of confusion as she looked at Shirik, Lyrr slowly made her way back towards the lieutenant. "What is it, Lieutenant Lektar?"

What is it? Surely Lyrr must know why she was here, she thought. "How is Ben?" she asked.

She frowned, obviously uncomfortable answering such questions. "His condition is unchanged. He's yet to awaken, but he will live."

"May I ask why I am not allowed to see him?" Shirik asked.

That was enough to bring some of the old Lyrr back as she defensively folded both arms tightly across her chest. "You're not a member of the senior staff. I thought it best that this be kept a low profile affair."

"So you're telling me you'd rather let Xayella Tagliesh in to see him than me?" she said, her posture a stubborn mirror of Lyrr's. "It's hardly low profile, the whole ship knows he's in there, and half of them think you put him there."

"Are you accusing me of something, Lieutenant?" Lyrr asked bluntly. "I realize you and Ben have a past - I know all about your gallivanting in the holodecks." Her expression was one of clear disdain. "I didn't do this to him, if that's what you're wondering. He did this to himself, for he and I."

"No, I'm not," she replied flatly. "I know Ben well enough to know exactly what happened, and why." She stopped herself from saying more that she knew she'd regret later. "I just want to see my friend," she said more quietly.

Lyrr sighed, looking away from Shirik. "I know you care about him," she responded just as softly. "He did this to free himself of his bond with Ms. Bancroft...." Shifting her gaze back to Shirik, Lyrr smiled wanly and admitted, "I still feel threatened by you. You seem the type of woman Ben would find appealing - you're attractive, intelligent, strong-willed, and vibrant. We've just rid ourselves of one complication in our relationship; you could easily become the next."

Shirik's jaw twitched as she fought the welling of sadness inside her. She wished it were true, but she knew better. "It may seem that way, but it's not," she said quietly. "You're the one he loves, not me. And if this doesn't prove it to you then nothing will." She couldn't believe that Lyrr would give that order only to keep her from seeing Ben, but that's what it was sounding like. Did she feel so threatened that she'd restrict nearly the entire crew from going near him just to keep her away?

"I don't require your opinion, Lieutenant," she told Shirik harshly. "I know he thought this" --she gestured fervently towards sickbay-- "was his expression of love, but it's only made things worse. This shouldn't have happened!" Her voice rose in timber, but was quivering. "He only proved to me that we're unstable, that our relationship is a sham! But, Prophets," she whispered, staving off tears of confused emotion, "I love him for it. I just don't know where we go from here."

Shirik just stood there staring at her for a moment. "What he proved to you is that he's willing to die to prove his love to you," she said coldly. "He did it to sever a bond that was trying to tear him from you. He freed you from having to worry about Tebrianne." She frowned, not understanding what Lyrr meant by a sham. "It seems to me you can go to happily ever after, if that's where you want to go. There's nothing in your way now." Or was there? she wondered. Maybe Lyrr still had some secrets she hadn't told Ben about yet. She knew Ben had some. That couldn't be good for them, either. But it wasn't her business.

Lyrr chuckled weakly and shook her head in defeat. "Happily ever after," she whispered. "I doubt that's possible, Shirik." Exhaling deeply, Lyrr nodded towards sickbay. "Go ahead. I'll let Johnstone know you've been granted permission."

Shirik nodded. "Thank you, Commander," she said, and turned to enter sickbay.

"Lieutenant," Lyrr called out moments later.

Shirik paused in the doorway of sickbay, the doors open. She turned to look back at Lyrr. "Yes?"

Her eyes were saddened and conflicted when she watched Shirik. "You'll be his friend, won't you? He...he needs that, especially now."

Shirik smiled, but it was a faint one. "I've always been his friend," she said softly. "That will never change."

"Then I won't stand in your way," Lyrr promised. Her gaze lingered on Shirik's before she smiled ruefully and started away down the corridor, giving she and Ben the time they needed.

One of Shirik's eyebrows rose as she watched Lyrr move away down the corridor. Once she was out of sight, she turned and entered sickbay, allowing the doors to close.

---

"Understandings"
By: Lieutenant Xayella Tagliesh
Lieutenant Saavar

Location: Science Lab 1, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.30, 10h45

***

"So...what do you think?" Xay turned her back to the large display screen in the conference room to face the Vulcan. Her hands were planted on her slender hips, and with the bright yellows and oranges of the nebula image providing a brilliant backdrop, Xayella looked as glorious as she felt. "The information gathered was helpful," she continued. Saavar was the only one invited to the meeting, and therefore the only science officer permitted to witness her brilliance. "I think, with what we know from the USS Voyager's records, and what we're seeing with this nebular complex, the next logical step would be to attempt to recreate what happened to them." Xayella leaned her hip against the table's edge and grinned at Saavar. "Don't you think?"

Saavar frowned, completely missing Xayella's brilliance or the glory she attributed to herself. "The USS Voyager was taken from our quadrant by an alien intelligence," he replied matter of fact. "How do you propose to recreate that?" He cocked his head slightly. "As I recall, Lieutenant, the Badlands are a particularly dangerous place to be. This nebula is no different. Why would you choose to place the crew in danger yet again? Is this another of your private plans, or does it come with the captain's prior approval?"

Xayella rolled her eyes at the Vulcan. "Are you in a bad mood again? We're scientists, Saavar. Scientists are supposed to utilize those things at our disposal in imaginative and ingenious ways." She shrugged and slipped into the seat beside him. "This is just one of those things."

Saavar looked sideways at her as she slid next to him. Her whole demeanour was friendly. "Who are you and what have you done with Lieutenant Tagliesh?" the Vulcan asked with a straight face.

She stared at him with a completely unamused expression. "I'm the same woman, Saavar. You've just been too conceited and...Vulcan to realize it." One leg crossed over the other as she relaxed in the chair, settling in for a long lecture. "You know, that's been your problem all along. You don't understand how humans work, you don't comprehend our quirks and character nuances. I'm not even sure you know what sarcasm is."

"Vulcans have no need of sarcasm," Saavar pointed out logically. "Why do you assume that your character flaws are my problem? I do understand you, Lieutenant. You are arrogant, conceited, unreasonable, facetious, stubborn, and unable to concede your errors; however I do attempt to overlook those flaws. It is difficult, but not impossible."

"Another of your problems," she told him. "You consider those 'flaws' without realizing they're a part of who I am...but by focusing on those, you've completely disregarded my other qualities. I'm a scientist who loves discovering, exploring...if, during my pursuit of discovery, I tend to snap at people, or shoot off a sarcastic remark, that shouldn't detract from who I really am at heart." She leaned in towards him, and whispered with passion, "I'm an explorer, Saavar, a seeker of knowledge. I thought, in that, we weren't so very different."

For a moment the Vulcan just stared at her. "You have snapped and been sarcastic in every conversation and encounter that we have had, Lieutenant. I cannot help but realize that those aspects of your personality are indeed a part of you. In fact I have rarely encountered you in any positive emotional state. It is difficult to relate to one who continues to attack without provocation at every turn. If this is an attempt to make a peace between us, then I would welcome it. Harmonious working relationships are conducive to greater results and efficiency."

She chuckled. "I wasn't attempting anything, Saavar. I just wondered why you were always snapping at me."

He frowned. "I do not snap," he said. "We have had our share of...difficulties. Perhaps if you made a concerted effort to maintain your current frame of mind it would be easier for both of us. Our previous experience was borne from your competitive nature. I find that you attempt to diminish others so that you are seen in a better light. Most often that tactic does not work; it simply creates more problems. I do understand you, Xayella. Just as you would understand me. We were bonded after all."

She snorted and waved dismissively. "We are not. That was all just an unfortunate...accident. Besides, it's not like you ever apologized for nearly killing me," she pointed out.

Saavar looked at her again, for a moment he considered her words and found her to be correct. "It was an accident, yes," he said. "I am truly sorry for what it inflicted upon you. I did not anticipate the outcome of our mind meld, and my judgement was impaired." His grey eyes were steady upon hers. The sincerity of the apology was evident.

"Then I accept," she answered with a shrug. "So, now that we've made up, cleared the air about each other's intolerable character flaws, and concluded that we're both too conceited for our own good, how about we work together for once?" Xayella smiled attractively, something that was normally only reserved for those she at least tolerated. "What do you say?"

"Yes," he agreed. "That would be entirely acceptable." He even gave her a smile; she'd earned that much. "Getting back to your proposed project; I must point out that your logic is still flawed. Recreating the Voyager's journey in the Badlands is still not viable here. This is not the Badlands. There are no aliens waiting to snatch us into the Delta Quadrant. Perhaps we could work on an alternative."

Xayella sighed with slight impatience. "That's not what I mean, Lieutenant. The nebular complex has unique properties that might have made it possible to begin with for that alien entity to pluck the Voyager from our quadrant to theirs." She leaned in closer and her smile displayed overwhelming enthusiasm. "What if it's possible to create a vortex of that kind with an appropriate energy source? If that nebula is conducive to such, we could just have the key to artificially creating a wormhole. Wouldn't that be extraordinary?"

Savaar nodded. "Yes it would be extraordinary," he agreed. "May I ask what has prompted you to reach a conclusion that indicates the possibility of an artificial wormhole within a gaseous nebula continuously in a state of flux?"

Xayella's smile was decidedly self-assured. "Because, Mr. Saavar," she confided, "all things unstable in this universe are capable of the most unexpected things. Like me, for example." She chuckled. "And besides, it at least gives us a reason to go out there and explore the nebula directly. We need something to write in our mission proposal, don't we?"

"We seem to agree on one point," he replied. "Instability." He frowned once more. "Perhaps the postulation of your theory would seem intriguing, it would be far simpler to say that the science department wishes to study this phenomena up close and this is a perfect opportunity to do so." His grey eyes held hers. "I know that would seem not as intriguing, but it would still accomplish the goal. Embellishing science reports with intriguing theories is not necessary. I am sure that you could take care of any permission you would require."

Xay pursed her lips to contain an insult, but she couldn't hold her tongue for long. "You're a hypocrite, Lieutenant," she snapped. "You accuse me of delivering insult to every member of this staff whenever I open my mouth, yet what you have just implied is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. I love Matthew Salinger," she hissed, jabbing her forefinger his way for emphasis, "and perhaps, because of our relationship, I do get some leeway, sometimes, but that doesn't mean I have the captain wrapped around my finger. If he doesn't agree to this mission, then nothing will change his mind, not even how much thigh I flash him." She pushed out of her chair angrily, staring daggers at the Vulcan. "Jerk."

Saavar rocked back in his seat as Xayella jabbed at him, and he was more surprised than anything. "You misunderstand, Xayella, I was simply referring to your previous statements that you could take care of permission; I did not intend a sexual innuendo. Once again I apologise for the misunderstanding."

She snorted and whirled away from him, kicking up her skirt in the process. "You always misunderstand me. I think that's everyone's problem on this ship!" Stopping at the head of the table, she swung around and slapped her hands flat on the surface as she bent over to peer across at Saavar. "I will take care of this, Saavar. And I will get my permission, but not by sleeping with the captain. Together, you and I are going to write a proposal he would be insane to reject. With two brilliant minds composing it, how could he?"

The Vulcan was still trying to puzzle out her behaviour, wondering where he'd misconstrued her intent, or missed some vital body language that escaped him.. "Very well," he gave in. Thoroughly confused, he looked up at the Chief Science Officer. He almost asked her who the other brilliant mind was going to be, but knew that would be a mistake. She was aggrandizing herself again. "I will give it serious consideration," he finished, his Vulcan expressionless mask firmly in place.

She wrinkled her nose. "Consideration? Is that Vulcan for 'you'll get back to me?' "

"No," Saavar quipped straight faced. "It is Federation Standard for I will apply myself to consider your theory in a serious manner."

Sighing, Xay succumbed to resignation and listlessly waved Saavar away. "Fine...but I would prefer it if you did so before the day is out."

"I do not understand your tone or attitude, Lieutenant. You are confusing me. Have I not agreed to assist you? Have I not expressed that I will put serious consideration to your theory? As I understand your tone, you are still disappointed in something I have said. Please explain."

"I just want this done now," she told him a touch petulantly. "Haven't you ever been excited about something, Lieutenant? So much so that waiting even a moment is too much?"

"I am a Vulcan, Xayella. Is that not a rhetorical question?"

She smiled curiously. "Well...I'm not so sure. You don't always seem like a typical Vulcan. You're the first I've ever seen actually smile."

"It is an easily mimicked Human expression. I have perfected many facial expressions that indicate an emotional response. It does not mean that I experience the indicated emotion." He smiled. "You also know that I am capable of emotion; every Vulcan is. We have learned to suppress them, not eradicate them. You of all people should know that."

"Oh, I do," she assured him. "But the only sides of you I've ever seen are dispassionate, judgemental know-it-all, and violent, raving madman." She smirked. "Almost pleasant isn't something I've witnessed before."

"All I have ever seen of you are erratic, judgemental, know-it-all, self-indulgent and self-aggrandizing, petulant and petty." He smirked; a mirror of her own expression. "Almost civil isn't something I've witnessed before."

Xayella chuckled and sauntered towards him. "Then we have something in common. Bet you never thought that possible, huh?" Instead of stopping before him, she veered to the right and headed for the conference room doors...backwards. "Come on, Vulcan." She crooked her finger at him in a beckoning gesture. "Let's see if we can actually cooperate and get something accomplished."

Saavar stood and once again smiled. "I believe the Klingons and the Romulans once said that.."

"Are you saying I eat worms, Lieutenant?" And with a teasing wink, she swung around and sashayed from the room.

"What is this fixation with worms?" Saavar asked straight-faced. "I believe you once asked me to give you a report an the mating habits of a certain species of worm."

"I don't know," she sighed, snatching up a proffered padd from an ensign passing her way. She scanned it briefly, then tucked it away under her arm. "I guess it's because they're sinuous and flexible." Her eyes twinkled with sultry mirth. "Just like me."

"Yes," Saavar admitted. "That is true...at least in your dreams."

She swung her head towards him in surprise and asked, "Was that a joke? Did Mr. Stoic Vulcan just make a joke?" Xayella chuckled. "Well...I guess that bond of ours must've left some lasting impression on you if you've become nearly as witty as I am."

"Perhaps I may hope to see some logic manifest itself within you too," he replied straight-faced. "But I will not hold my breath."

Xayella smirked almost proudly. "Now you're almost tolerable, Lieutenant." She snapped her fingers at an officer occupying one of the two chairs at her preferred computer console and had him vacate it. As she gracefully sat, Xayella patted the seat next to hers. "Don't be shy, Saavar. You know I only bite in your dreams."

Saavar sat. "I no longer dream, Lieutenant. It is too much a distraction."

She frowned at her display as she called up the scan results from the shuttle's sensor sweep. "You don't dream? How can you avoid it?"

"I simply think of you, Lieutenant," he stated. "It is called aversion therapy."

She laughed dryly. "You're a joker today, aren't you?" Xayella pursed her lips unhappily and pointed to the screen. "A cross-comparison with the Badlands nebula shows a 98% correlation between the two complexes. And considering the Badlands contains planetary spheres, we'd have good reason to explore this nebular region as well...even if we don't uncover the secret to creating wormholes."

"I concur," he said his eyes examining the information. His fingers tapped on the secondary LCARS and a series of coloured bands appeared. Several spikes showed the spectral data and scrolled across the screen as the Vulcan isolated several clusters of spikes. "Stellar emissions in the nebula," he pointed to the computer's analysis. "Three type six planetoids," he indicated another cluster, "and a type L planet orbiting a type F star close to the far edge of the nebula." The radiation bands were overlaid with the graviton emissions to show a larger map of the nebula and the locations of the gravity wells within it. They were the nexus of the chaotic spirals of ionic storms within the gaseous body. "There are two type nine sub-spatial anomalies," he pointed out. "Conceivably they could be the emission points for unstable sub-spatial tears."

"So, my idea's not so farfetched after all?" Xay smiled with self-satisfaction. "We do have a valid reason for exploring the nebula, now." Nudging Saavar playfully in the arm, she asked, "Want to fly with me, Lieutenant? You and I could be at the frontier of some amazing discovery. We could be famous."

Saavar raised his brow. "We could also be dead. We would need to significantly modify a Type nine shuttle with multi-phasic shielding to approach the sub-spatial anomalies. It will take time. But I believe we have sufficient resources to accomplish the task."

"Time?" Xay whined. "Wouldn't it be faster to modify probes to do the same job? I'm not sure how long we'll be around, and we can't miss this chance, Saavar."

"That is another option," he agreed. "The probes would have a very short life span, but we would be able to send it through the sub-spatial rift; perhaps gain telemetry."

"Well, I doubt Matt would ever approve sending a whole shuttle through a rift," Xay snorted. "We may be able to enhance signal strength and duration by launching a series of probes at timed intervals - set up a chain, with each probe transmitting to the next, thereby decreasing the distance they're required to relay information. It would limit the amount of signal degradation in the process and greatly increase the accuracy of our information."

"I was not suggesting sending a shuttle into a rift," Saavar replied. "Only taking it close to monitor the phenomenon. The task would be equally served using your suggestion. However, it does negate actually going there. I believe that was your intent?"

Xayella grinned. "Precisely. But the closer we are, the fewer probes we need to modify." She swiveled in her chair to face Saavar, swung her right leg over her left at the knee, and held her padd up with her other hand poised to type. "So, shall we draft that proposal now, or are we not yet through with the sarcasm," she teased.

"Of course," he nodded.

"So obedient," Xay muttered then began with the oral introduction to their proposal. There was a momentary sensation of awkwardness, working so closely and in cooperation with Saavar despite their tumultuous past, but he was proving tolerable enough. For a Vulcan. She smiled to herself and continued on with newfound enthusiasm. She hoped Saavar wouldn't be taken aback by it.

---

"Simple Choices"
By: Tebrianne Bancroft
Lt. Commander Benedict T'Kal
Ensign Alexia Johnstone
Commander Lyrr Tayla

Location: Sickbay, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.30, 12h15

***

The room was empty save the medical equipment that hummed and beeped. And him, of course. He was the reason she was there, the reason she sat at his bedside. It had all been so sudden. She reached out and brushed his hair back from his forehead as she gazed at his features, now softened as he lay on the biobed. She had no sense of him but what she saw before her, the touch of her hand to his. The connection, the bond they'd shared for so long, was gone.

She'd been in her quarters when it'd happened. The food she'd prepared for herself seemed rather unappealing, but she'd taken a few bites anyway. The argument with Commander Zareb and the talk with Captain Salinger afterwards still whirled around in her mind. And then, as she moved from the replicator to her table, it was as if her insides had been ripped out and spilled over the floor. It was a feeling she'd never forget.

***

Tebrianne Bancroft sighed heavily as she crossed the distance between her replicator and the table. How could Commander Zareb just deny her like that? How could he refuse her so openly. Because you've been with the enemy for five years, and no one trusts you.

At least she didn't have to worry about crying again, she'd shed so many tears already today. She'd be forced to stay on the Sulu until it returned to the Alpha Quadrant. She'd find a way to manage. She had to. Of course, she'd have to avoid Ben. She didn't see how she could continue to face him like this, not with how things were. She still loved him too much, and to see him with Lyrr, it'd be too much. It'd just be too--

Before the thought could complete, it felt as if someone had plunged their fist into her guts and twisted. Hard. Beneath her, her legs felt like they were replaced with sand. The floor crashed up to meet her. Her head hit first, the rest of her body following quickly after. She heard a ragged scream echoing through the ship, a keening wail that seemed to go on and on. It wasn't until much later that she realized it was her own voice.

"Ben," she thought. Over and over, the same thought. "Ben."

The pain crashed over her as she lay on the floor, writhing. It seemed like an eternity and the pain finally subsided, all the while, her thoughts were the same, "Ben, Ben, Ben..."

And, as the pain finally released her from its grasp, she realized Ben was no longer there. With that realization, she managed to find a few more unshed tears, then curled into a ball and wondered what it would feel like to die.

***

It had been a vision. Benedict T'Kal knew that now. The forest glade with the mist and the piled bodies, and Lyrr, naked and beautiful but deathly white and scarred holding her arms out for him. She wanted him, but he'd have to die first. He'd seen himself give her what she'd wanted gladly. He hadn't known what it meant at the time. It had been months since he'd dreamed that vision. It had been true. He'd taken his life to be with the death goddess.

Now he was dead. Darkness and warmth. No light. No comfort. No dreams.

***

"Ben," she whispered as she slipped her hand into his, "I don't know if you can 'ear me, but...but it feels so empty, so alone. I know you're going to survive, to make it. But there are things you aren't aware of, that I didn't get a chance to tell you. They're not going to let me go; I have to stay on the Sulu for the rest of the mission. I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet, but I...I don't know. I don't know 'ow I can last, not like this. You're...you're out of my mind now. It's...it's so empty."

I feel so alone, she thought.

She didn't know how long Ben would be out or how long the rest of their mission would take. She did know that, expect for now, she wanted to just hide in her quarters and wait for it all to be over. Maybe Ben had the right idea, just...just give up.

She felt hot tears on her cheeks again. She pushed her hair back out of her face, now black with the ends dyed crimson. She reached out and brushed the hair from his face once again. "I...I'm so very lost, Ben. I...I don't know what to do now. It seemed so clear, but now...now it's just upside down."

The words came to him through a haze of darkness and as if spoken down a well, they were distant echoes that drew him. His consciousness seemed elusive, and he was too tired to chase it. He felt numbed, no sensation of body, just of words and a deep sadness that was also a distant quality of sound rather than a constant feeling that chafed against his mind. There was silence in his mind. Momentary panic seemed to steal its way into his consciousness at the loss of...something...as if a part of him was no longer there.

He felt...alone...for the first time in years. He wasn't comfortable with that. Without realizing it, he'd become dependent upon that feeling. Now he knew it was missing and it was troubling, yet also a relief. His thoughts were not yet totally cohesive and he drifted. The voice was familiar...the sadness even more so. He'd been so sad for such a long time. It was almost as if happiness was an alien emotion.

The quality of the voice drew him closer and he felt the first twinges of sensation from a body that was still immersed in darkness. He felt a pressure...and it was too far away to do anything about. The tiredness was consuming and he wanted to sink back down but like a bubble of air in water he rose inexorably toward the surface.

His hand twitched as Tebrianne held it.

There was a moment of startled surprise from Tebrianne, then she realized what was happening. She reached out and brushed his hair back off his forehead. "Ben," she whispered softly. "Ben, it's Tebrianne."

His eyelids fluttered with the closeness of the voice. It was so familiar, yet the identity eluded him; he just couldn't focus his attention on it. The pressure against his hand became more distinct and he used that as a focus to rally his errant consciousness. The fingers were warm against his, smaller; his fingers curled around them as he fought the threatening urge to fall back into the void. Tebrianne. The name reverberated in his mind. The connection brought with it a wave of utter despair and sadness. It was a feeling that swelled within him like a tide and his lips parted with a sigh. Tears welled in his eyes and spilled over his cheeks, yet still he was struggling with consciousness.

"It's alright, Ben," Tebrianne said, her voice a rasping sob as tears welled up in her own eyes. "It's alright. You're safe now, it's...it's all over. You're...you're alright now." She brushed the tears from his cheeks. "It's going to be alright now, you'll see."

His eyes opened, blurred and blinked, momentary blindness as the lights flashed a bolt of lightning through his brain and he sucked in a breath and turned his head away. His mouth was so dry his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and his lip split when he grimaced. His hand reflexively gripped hers. Benedict was disoriented, and his movement caused a tearing pain in his chest as he strained the freshly regenerated tissues. The shock of it brought back a flash of memory and he cried out as he saw Lyrr's eyes and knew that they were the last thing he'd seen before his life had fled. He'd used his knife. He'd walked into the arms of the Death Goddess and he'd done it without hesitation. He'd done it without hesitation..

"Shh," Teb hushed, trying to ease him back onto the bed. "You tore yourself up a touch, mate. Lie back, you're safe. You're alive. Welcome back to the land of the living, Ben."

He heard her voice clearly now, and as he relaxed with his eyes closed he knew that Tebrianne was beside him rather that inside him. It was a disconcerting thing after so many years. He couldn't feel her inside his mind. Benedict mourned the loss and at the same time was grateful of it. They were both free. "Teb..." his voice was a dull rasp. "Sorry...I had to...." He was still so tired. He opened his eyes again and the blur of pink coalesced into a face he knew. His hand was holding hers and he squeezed it, and that act took away most of his strength.

"I understand," she said, though she didn't really. "I'm...I'm glad you're alright, Ben. I...I felt it when it happened. I can...can only imagine how much worse it was for you. I'm glad you're safe again."

He looked at her and knew that she really didn't understand. "It wasn't so bad," he managed. "I know...what it was like for...you." He did know. He'd felt her death before. His violet eyes were sad, and he blinked away another tear that blurred her face. "I thought...you were gone."

"Commander Zareb, 'e wouldn't take me with him. So...so I'm 'ere for a touch longer."

He closed his eyes and nodded. Zareb wouldn't have trusted her and was a pig headed arrogant bastard as far as Benedict was concerned. "I'm sorry, Teb, but I had to do it." His voice was a hoarse whisper of sound. He wondered where Tayla was. He'd expected to see her if he woke up. He hadn't thought about consequences when he'd done it.

Tebrianne nodded and nearly had to sit on her hands to prevent herself from rubbing at the phantom wound from when he'd plunged the knife into himself. "I guess everyone's got to do what they must," she said. "I guess it's no issue now...you got free, and now you won't 'ave to worry about me again. I'll figure out something, and...and until then, I've been getting some songs written while sitting in my quarters. Not great stuff, but it keeps my...my mind occupied."

"It wasn't just me, Teb." He gazed into her dark eyes. "We could feel the pain we were inflicting on each other...it wasn't right to go through that. I couldn't go through it all again. Five years was enough. Now we can both heal. I'm sorry that you spent that time waiting for me. You knew I was still alive; I knew you were dead. We can't hold on to that past anymore. I couldn't...." He ran out of breath.

"Can't 'old onto the past," Tebrianne echoed as she pulled her hands away from him and settled them into her lap. "Well, now we don't 'ave to. You're free of me now. No more worries. I'll just stay out of the way until we get back to the Alpha Quadrant, and then I'll find somewhere to disappear to. You won't have to ever worry or bother with me again. I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you." She got up from her chair, not wanting to stay longer because of the new pain blooming in her chest. "I'll let the doctors know you're awake."

"Don't go." He held out a hand. "Please, Teb...why can't we try to help each other through this. You don't have to leave, or hide from me. I know it hurts, Love, but we need to work through this."

"I don't want to leave," Teb said. "I want to still be a part of your life. But...but do you still have room for me?"

"Teb...please. I want you to stay. I'll always have room. I'm sorry. It'll be okay...it really will. We need a great pilot...and I need you too, Teb. We can be friends, can't we?"

"I want that," Teb said. "I want to be your friend again, but...but with your relationship to Commander Lyrr, is it really possible?"

"Yes," he replied easily. "It is now...the bond, it was really messing with my head, Teb. It wasn't a good experience for me...it was driving me crazy. It wasn't like before...it was just too painful. I couldn't stand it, Teb, I'm not equipped like a Vulcan guy would be. I couldn't handle it. I need you to understand that...it wasn't you, it was me. Catherine Page really messed with my mind, and I've never been the same."

It was impossible to keep the bitterness from her voice. "And Cathy Page ruined what we had, and there's nothing I can do but suck it up. She won, she beat us, and...and now there's no way to beat her back."

"She's in that other place, Teb. She's in hell where she belongs. She's in a place where she can't ever come at us again. I wouldn't want her blood on my hands, because I would have killed her." He felt so tired. The effort required to speak this long had taxed his resources and he was beginning to fade out, his eyelids getting heavier.

"Sending her there," Tebrianne said softly, "was probably, for us, the worst thing we could have done. Nothing like sending a psychotic killer into a universe where such a thing is encouraged, admired, and celebrated. But it's the past, just as we are. 'opefully, despite everything, we can still be friends, you and me."

He gripped her hand firmly. "How can we ever be otherwise?" he asked her tiredly.

"It's all we 'ave left," Teb said with a squeeze of his hand. "I'm sorry, Ben. It's...it's...this is still difficult for me. I'll get better. But I won't ever stop loving you."

"Ms. Bancroft," came a flat, wholly familiar voice from behind the two. She hadn't heard the door to Ben's secluded room open, but sure enough, Commander Lyrr was standing there with Ensign Johnstone standing behind and offset to the right. Lyrr was looking past Teb to Ben, for whom her expression softened. "You're awake," she whispered.

At first glance the features of his face were still haggard, yet there was that instant recognition of her voice that brought a similar response, and when Benedict looked at Lyrr in that one moment he smiled, the look enough to tell Tayla that he loved her. His eyes blurred with tears almost instantly as the emotion welled inside of him at seeing her again and his hand reached for her.

Lexi knew it was a good thing that Ben was awake; she just wished it had been Lyrr that he had woken for, and not this other woman. She sidestepped past the two women in order to move to Ben's side and check his vitals now that he was awake. She had known Tebrianne Bancroft had gone in to see Ben, and had kept a close eye on his room, just as she had promised Commander Lyrr.

There was no mistaking the look in the nurse's eye as her gaze paused on Tebrianne. Teb couldn't help looking away, suddenly feeling very out of place and awkward in the room that now seemed far too small. "I'm...I'm going to go now," she said, not even sure if Ben was still aware that she was in the room any longer. Of course they'd be friends, as long as Lyrr was nowhere around, because when she was nothing else in the universe existed for him. The pain of the knife invading Ben's body was the pricking of a pin on her finger compared to the pain she felt in loss. "Glad you're well again, Ben. It was...was good to see you." With that, she pushed away from the bed and started toward the door.

Lyrr quickly took her place, seating herself on the chair once occupied by Teb, and enclosing his hand between both of hers. She paid no mind to Teb, or to what she had seen and heard when first entering his room. His tired smile banished all memory of it.

Benedict was already so tired, but some of it seemed to lift as he blinked the tears away and gazed into Tayla's eyes. He squeezed her hand and pulled her, not wanting her to sit, instead he wanted to hold her. He hadn't much strength, but with what he did have he drew her into his embrace. Benedict held onto her and buried his face in her neck, and for a while he couldn't say anything at all.

Tebrianne had paused at the door just long enough to see that she did, in fact, no longer exist for Ben. She shook her head angrily and stormed out the door. She needed to get away. She needed to find a guitar and a very loud amplifier. She needed to be lost in oblivion so that nothing existed but the music. No Ben, no heartache, no mirror universe, or Starfleet or duty. Just her and the music. Then...then maybe she could live again.

"It's okay," Lyrr murmured against his ear, over and over again. She stroked his loose hair to soothe Ben, wondering if he required any comforting at all to begin with. Lyrr quickly realized she spoke the words more for herself than for Ben. "Ensign Johnstone needs to examine you," she whispered to him. "It's...it's just procedure, that's all."

He nodded, but as she began to pull away, he reached up to touch her face and pulled her into a kiss. "I love you," he whispered as he kissed her lips. "I'm sorry for putting you through...all of this...." He gazed up into her eyes, finding the tiny amber motes that seemed to sparkle.

She forced a smile. "It was a breeze. We just have to concentrate on getting you fully recovered, okay?" Lyrr laid her hand over his as she turned her head towards Ensign Johnstone. "Go ahead. Just tell me if I'm in the way."

Lexi smiled at the XO as she continued her examination. With Ben fully awake and alert now, the check was merely another routine to be completed. "It's okay, you're not in the way. I won't be long here," she said. Lexi was extremely glad Lieutenant Bancroft had left the room... for whatever reason that she could not put her finger on, Lexi didn't trust her.

Benedict allowed the nurse to do her work, but not once did he take his eyes away from Lyrr's. When she'd finished he gave her a quick polite smile and then was back to looking at Tayla. He whispered in Bajoran, "I wanted to see your eyes again...and ask your forgiveness."

She glanced briefly at Johnstone, waiting for her to depart lest she was able to understand every word. Lyrr sat upon the edge of his mattress and leaned in towards him at an intimate distance. "Ben...what is there to forgive?" she whispered back. "I know why you did this; how could I be upset at you for doing something to save what we have?" Lyrr chuckled softly. "You've already got enough to worry about while you recuperate - don't add guilt to that, Ben."

"Then I won't." He smiled and touched her cheek, brushing fingertips along the curve of her jaw, and to her full lips that parted slightly as he pressed his fingers to their softness. "This is a new life," he whispered. "A new beginning...with nothing but you and me." He smiled fondly, and kissed her, breathing her breath and tasting her lips. "You'll have to marry me now," he whispered as his eyes closed, no longer able to keep them open. The heaviness was a warm blanket this time, no longer cold or dark. His smile remained as he drifted away again.

"Marry you," she mumbled to herself as his fingers fell away from her face in his sleep. The prospect still didn't seem as pleasing to Lyrr as it should have been. There was still much to work out - more than she believed Ben realized. Sighing, she sat up fully, but remained by his side. This time, she wanted her face to be the first he saw when again he awoke.

---

"A Time to Grieve"
Lt. Brennyn Scott, RN - Chief Counselor
Ensign Andrea Collins - Security Officer

Location: Counselor Scott's Office, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.30, 14h05

***

"I'm glad to see you, Andrea, I was just about to send out a search party." Scott had never been a big fan of forcing someone into counseling because such coercion yielded no positive results.

Case in point, Mason Farrell. While she would always believe the man was hiding some inner turmoil of his own that needed some airing out, she also had complete faith in Ainsley Chambers to get to the bottom of it without a whole production.

And true to Scott's expectations, Andrea Collins had come to her of her own accord because she was ready to get help. It wouldn't have done her any favors to have gone to T'Kal on this and she was glad she hadn't. She couldn't help but notice Collins looked like hell.

Andrea didn't appreciate the woman's humor but she sat down as she was somewhat tired since her nightmares were keeping her from getting the appropriate sleep. A slight smirk made its way to her mouth though, she must be more tired than she thought.

"I figured it was about time I came to see you, that's all." She gave a non-committal shrug as she spoke.

Bree nodded good-naturedly, going with the flow. Andrea was here for a reason and she would only reveal it if she didn't feel pressured. "So what's on your mind?"

What's on my mind? Andrea thought to herself. Trying not to strangle everyone I come across who acts so sugary sweet they're about to make me puke. Aloud she said, "Oh, nothing much." She sounded sullen, and with her arms crossed, she looked closed off.

"There must be something that brought you here," Bree replied reasonably. "Are you sleeping ok?" It's truth time, thought Scott.

The sarcasm was thick enough to cut with a d'k tagh. "Oh, sure. I'm sleeping just fine." The dark circles beneath her eyes told the lie to her words.

"I know you're not." Bree leaned forward. "But I'm not a mind-reader, Andrea. If you want to waste your time playing Miss Misunderstood with twenty-questions that's fine, I'll sleep just dandy."

Andrea stood up and began to pace the room angrily. "I'm only in here because I was ordered to be here. I don't think I have a problem..." Of course, the nightmares told a different story...

"I'm not buying that, Andrea," Bree replied flatly. "If you cared about orders, you would have been here weeks ago instead of blowing me off. Now I know you came here on your own for a reason and I know it probably has to do with not sleeping well. But I cannot help you unless you talk to me."

"Oh, give me a break. This 'I'm here to help' crap is just that, crap. I got plenty of that in the penal colony, I don't need it from you." Andrea paced the room continuously, mapping out a path from the sofa, to the wall, to the desk and back to the sofa. "No one really cares about me, if they had then my parents wouldn't have died and my Aunt..." She stopped realising that she was saying more than she really wanted to.

"What about your aunt?" Bree probed.

"Let's just say that if she thought she could have, she'd have sold me into slavery with the Orions." Andrea sat down on the chair again, her legs out in front of her and crossed at the ankles...and her arms crossed.

"That's a pretty harsh thing to say about a member of your own family. I take it the two of you didn't get along? That she wanted to hurt you?"

A scoff escaped Andrea's lips. "Oh, you could say the fights in our house could be heard as far away as Mars. That woman didn't care about me."

"I bet that makes it difficult to care about others or to trust their motives," surmised Bree. "And I also gather you're quite angry about that. Did she abuse you, Andrea? Physically or emotionally?"

Shit, this woman is nosey, Andrea thought to herself. "What difference did it make, I left as soon as I could." Okay, cryptic as hell, but still an answer...or not...

"Is that an apology, Andrea? Do you blame yourself for something?" Bree had to help Andrea break through her anger to get at the heart of whatever was driving her to put up so many walls.

"I don't apologize for anything...or to anyone." Andrea had stood back up again. "And why should I blame myself, I didn't do anything wrong. I was a child and that witch decided she hated me because she could." Obviously, her anger was back up, what else was new?

Bree leaned forward, hands folded in her lap. "So what made you think of her now after all this time?"

"It's not exactly a new thought, she's been on my mind since I ran away from home." Shut up, you're talking to much...shut up.

"On your mind and in your heart?" suggested Scott. "What about her have you thought about?"

"No, not in my heart. She was a major pain in the butt to me...of course she would say the same about me. 'Why should I have to take care of you just because your mother had the bad taste to die,' she always said that to me. It wasn't bad enough that I was an orphan, she had to bash my feelings all to hell. I haven't..." She stopped herself then, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. She was about to say she hadn't cried since just after her mother had died, to tell this woman that would have given her too much information, and she wasn't going to do that...

"Ever felt safe enough to express your grief?"

"Grief is for people who can't handle the loss." Andrea had flopped into the nearest seat after saying that. "I mean, come on, the dead person doesn't care, they're dead. The phaser took care of the body, but the only ones who have a problem with the loss are the people left behind." Well, all but those without a heart... Andrea thought.

Bree smiled. "I'm confused, Andrea, so is that you?"

"Is what me, the phaser bit and the only one who cares about the loss being those left behind? Give me a break, my parents died. I'm not going to sit there and cry my eyes out just because my mommy's not there to hold me anymore." She sighed as she sat there, arms crossed, the phrase that came to mind was closed off. "My aunt didn't give a rat's ass about me, nor did she care about my mother. She was a mean, selfish, vindictive and crazy bitch who couldn't have cared less if I'd died with my parents."

"So you're the one left behind," mused Bree, "you're the one who has to care, aren't you? Your survival depended upon caring about whether you lived or died because it's human nature to fight to live. It bothers you that you had to depend on your aunt for that, doesn't it? After the way you say she treated you, I can't say I blame you."

Andrea shook her head. No one understood her, not even this utterly cheerful, disgustingly sweet woman. "Where did you learn that crap? Psychobabble, all of it."

Bree shrugged. "I suspect you would say that about whatever I said, Andrea, but fine. What is it I'm not understanding about you?"

Andrea stood up. "You don't understand anything about me. No one does."

"Maybe that's because you never let people get to know you. I'm not a mind reader, Andrea. If you want to get the senior staff to ease up, you have to talk to me, open up some. You might want me to mistake your stubbornness for mystique, but the ball's always been in your court."

Andrea couldn't wait till she got out of here, she needed something to do to clear her head, take her anger out on, she couldn't do that here. To do that here she may wind up hurting someone, namely the woman who was trying to get her to open up...'Blast the stupid rules...'

She threw herself back on the sofa and crossed her arms again. Had she really closed herself off so much? When she'd been going about her jobs with the Knights she would close herself off to what the man was doing while grunting over her for his own pleasure, and that had started when she had been raped...afterwards she'd been using her body to get what she was sent in to get. And whatever she'd been using for that had just closed over every emotional wound she'd ever had, and that included the one she'd gotten when her folks had died.

She seemed to have gone into the past as she thought back to the day she'd been told her parents had been killed

***Flash back***

A ten-year-old Andrea sat on the school playground when a couple of the school officials arrived, with her aunt, her mother's sister. The look of emotional strain on her aunt's face told her something was wrong. She didn't like her aunt even then but she was the only familiar one there for her, the school officials not even caring. The man in the lead gave her a cold look as he said, "Andrea, your Aunt is here to take you home."

The only time anyone's relative, parent or otherwise, would come to get them was something terrible had happened. Her green gaze, so like her father's, looked at her Aunt, and the woman just gave her cold eyes in return.

"Wh...what's wrong? What happened?" She'd asked, and the question had been waved off as though she wasn't important.

Three days later, the day of the memorial service had her beside twin torpedo cases with the bodies of her parents inside. She placed a hand on either case, her little hands looked stark against the matte black of the casings. They had little windows carved into the casings, but it wasn't like the people inside could just open their sightless eyes to see the view so she couldn't understand the reasoning behind that.

Then, the conveyer chain that carried the torpedo casings to the launchers started...and she followed them as though she could follow her parents into the void of space...her Aunt hadn't stopped her but the doctor on board the ship her parents had served on stopped her, a gentle hand on her shoulder, but it was enough to stop her. And then a glance out of the window showed those same torpedo casings being shot from the ship to forever float like the endless space debris floating in orbit around Earth...seeing those she dropped to her knees with a scream of pain and anguish that only echoed because the chamber was set up with great acoustics...

***Now***

And in the here and now, in Counselor Scott's office, the 21-year-old Andrea dropped to her knees and covered her face, that same scream of pain and anguish she'd let out at ten escaped her throat a second time... It was time for her to grieve...

Like all counselors, Bree wanted to believe she was capable of handling just about any counseling situation, but she had to admit, Andrea's sudden outburst was not remotely on Scott's radar of possible reactions. Momentarily startled, Brennyn quickly recovered and leaned forward, careful not to touch Collins lest she become frightened. "Andrea? Talk to me, Andrea, what's wrong?"

Andrea's face was in her hands. She heard the question but didn't seem to understand it...but she answered the question even without realizing it, "Th...they just shot them out the torpedo tubes..." Her voice sounded like it had when she was ten. "D...did they have to do that, shoot them out the torpedo tubes like so much flotsam?"

The first 'they' meant the crew on her parent's ship...the them meant her parents. This was the first time she'd even cried...the first time she'd ever grieved for her parents. She'd covered up that wound a long time ago only because her Aunt had told her she wasn't going to hold her if she chose to because she didn't want to have to care for her sister's weak sniveling little brat.

So Andrea became as tough, as unfeeling as her Aunt wanted her to be. She never made herself a burden to her aunt, she never wanted to give her a reason to hurt her. But even with all that, her Aunt still beat her, still abused her, and whenever her Aunt had a man over, he would also abuse her...touching her where they had no business touching her. She poured all those feelings, all the hurt, the pain, the anger, the disgust...the lost innocence she felt right there on the Counselor's office floor, her hands over her eyes and tears streaming from beneath her hands down her cheeks...angry, sad, bitter tears.

And Bree did what came naturally. Wrapping her arms around Andrea, Bree simply held her, understanding dawning on her. She had the sense, however, that the little girl inside Andrea was grieving a whole lot more. Rocking back and forth, she whispered, "They're in your heart, Andrea, always."

Andrea felt the gentle touch of the woman's arms as she wrapped them around her...she leaned into the touch having not had such tenderness since she was a small child...she let her rock her till she was silent, and spent.

---

"Plain Speaking"
By: Lt. Shirik Lektar, Operations
Lt. Cmdr. Benedict T'Kal, Chief of Security

Location: Sickbay, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.30, 15h30

***

Shirik slipped quietly into the room. The nurses had told her that Ben had regained consciousness earlier, but now was sleeping, and she didn't want to wake him. She tiptoed to the side of the bed and settled herself carefully into the chair beside it. Her keen ears could pick up the soft sound of his breathing, and her gaze studied his peaceful expression. He always looked peaceful in his sleep, she mused, but rarely had she seen that expression on his face while he was awake. She hoped one day he would find that peace.

She reached out and slid her hand over his, letting it rest there as she watched him in silence, content to wait until he awakened on his own.

The soft pressure on his hand roused him. He was only lightly dozing, the tiredness was still laying upon him like a blanket and staying awake for long periods seemed almost impossible. His eyes opened after he'd gripped the female hand that had slid into his. It was her light, musky scent that gave her away. He knew it was Shirik before her face became clear. "Hey..." he smiled. "How'd you manage to slip through the guards?" he joked softly.

A soft smile lit up her face as his hand tightened on hers and he spoke. "You know it would take more than guards to keep me away," she said softly. Her smile faded as she asked, "How are you feeling?" Her free hand rose to stroke his hair gently.

Benedict smiled at her worried expression. "I'll be okay they tell me." He gave her hand a squeeze. "My aim must have been rotten."

"Was it good enough?" she asked quietly, studying his face. Had he freed himself? And was he glad?

"Yes it was good enough," he understood her question, and the look in her eyes. "Now it's just Tayla and me...no more bond." He smiled. "It's not the same for you though, Shirik...is it? Not like it was for me."

"That's good," she said. Her gaze fell to their hands. "No, not like it was for you." She still had conflicted feelings about her bond with Saavar, and a lot of guilt about him. And now she knew there was another option for breaking that bond, if she had the nerve to try it.

He read her expression easily enough. "Don't even think about it," he said softly. "I had no choice. I'm in love with Lyrr Tayla and was bonded to another. You're not in love with anyone, Shirik; not even me. Tell me something...how does Saavar make you feel?"

Her gaze rose to meet his once more. "That's where you're wrong, Ben," she said quietly. She sighed. "I can't explain it, I don't understand it... Saavar is a good man, a dear friend. I don't know why I don't love him, but I don't. He just doesn't.... make me feel the way you do. It doesn't make any sense to me." She looked away. "Everything would be so much easier if I loved him."

"You don't love me, Shirik. You're in love with the idea of being in love with me." His voice was gentle, though he was as confused as she was about her feelings. It didn't make sense, but then he remembered just how he'd fallen in love with Tebrianne. "I'm sorry, that sounded harsh, but it wasn't meant that way. You know how I feel, so there's no point in going over it.

"I know," she said. All too well, she thought. "It's probably just as well that I won't be on this ship for much longer. It will be easier for all concerned that way." Her gaze met his once more. "I've been transferred, I just got word of it this morning."

"We're in the Gamma Quadrant...that's hardly likely," he smiled. "Is it someone's idea of a joke?"

"I hardly think the admiralty at Starfleet Command is in the habit of sending out transfer orders as a joke," she said. "The communication said a ship is on its way to rendezvous with us and transfer crew. When it arrives, I'm to leave on it. I'm not sure how many others have received similar orders, but I don't think I'm the only one."

He looked at her for a moment and then nodded. "I'll miss you," he said simply. "Maybe it is the best thing." He imagined Tayla would be more than happy. One less complication. "What about Saavar?"

"I don't know... I haven't talked to him yet. Even if he hasn't been transferred, he may want to leave with me." She sighed. "I'll miss you, too... and that is such an understatement." Her hand tightened on his. "Ben.... No matter what happens, I will always be your friend. Please don't ever forget that."

He smiled. "I know that, Shirik. I'll never forget, don't worry. You're not the kind of woman a man can ever forget." He squeezed her hand back. "I'll always be your friend too. If you ever need me...you know where I am."

"The same goes for you," she said, swallowing back a lump in her throat. She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it. "I love you, Ben," she said quietly. "I know you know it, but I needed to say it, just once."

"I can't tell you that...and I know I've said it before, but I've not reciprocated it...it's just infatuation. If we tried having a relationship we'd probably knife each other in a week." He grinned. "We were never meant to be other than friends...that's the truth of it. I wish you'd look truth in the face, Shirik. I think too much I suppose."

"I wasn't asking for you to," she said. "Call it what you wish, I know what I feel." She shrugged, no humor in her features. "We'd probably have less of a chance of that than you and Tayla, from what I've seen. I think you and I wouldn't lie to each other." She laid his hand back down on the bed and released it. "I should probably go now."

"What do you mean by that?" he asked seriously.

She paused for a moment, considering her words, before finally speaking them. "It seems to me you're always waiting for and dreading the next secret Lyrr will reveal to you, the next truth she will finally tell you. How many times have the two of you almost split up, only to get back together, usually because one of you ends up in sickbay? How many secrets do you have from her? All I'm saying is, if I were with you, there would be no secrets between us. Nothing to hide, nothing to fear. Even now, Lyrr is so afraid of me that I honestly believe that's a good part of the reason why she ordered only senior staff could see you. Why, how, she could possibly still be so insecure, still think that I could whisk you away from her, after what you've done, is a complete and utter mystery to me. Two people in love should be happy. She's not, and doesn't believe she ever will be. From where I stand, it doesn't look like you were meant for each other." She got to her feet. "If you take offense at anything I said, it was not meant to be offensive. I simply spoke plainly, as a friend should."

"You're making a judgement without knowing anything about Tayla at all," Benedict said softly. He didn't sound offended, nor angry. "You want to see her in a bad light, because you want our relationship to fail. You have an agenda that you can't see past, Shirik. Why should she feel insecure? It's because she's never allowed herself to love someone until I came along, and she's afraid of losing me. You are a beautiful woman, Shirik, and Tayla has never seen herself as a woman worthy of anyone seeing her as beautiful. All she's ever seen are the scars that marked her skin and the torture that marked her soul. I can see past that. She is beautiful and I love her. She has a great capacity to love, Shirik, but she's had a very bad experience that has made her think and act in certain ways.

"You wouldn't understand her because you don't know what I know, you haven't lived on Bajor during the Occupation, you don't know how much courage it takes to rise above what she's endured. You know nothing about her. You don't see her courage, or her passion. You've never loved anything, Shirik, and you've never been loved. Until someone loves you, Shirik how can you try to tell me what two people in love should be? Love changes you, it can bring out the best and the worst. Lyrr Tayla is strong and vulnerable at the same time. She's the most courageous woman I've ever known. She is loyal, beautiful, and she's mine. I'm not interested in how it would be with you. Whether there would be secrets or lies between you and I means nothing to me.

"We don't believe in the same things, Shirik. You think in terms of what you can take, not what you can give. Everything is focused on your needs and not the needs of anyone else. You don't care what I need, only what you think I need. You think I'll be better off with you, but you have nothing that I want in the woman I want to love. You're beautiful, there's no doubt about that; but that beauty is only skin deep. You advocate for a society that enslaves others, denies them education and basic rights, even after a decade in the Federation you wouldn't change your society. You don't notice those you see as beneath you, and you only want things that are denied you. You use people that are convenient for you. I couldn't love you, Shirik. You have a lot to learn about the unselfish nature of being in love. I love Tayla enough to die for her. I love her because I know her; the good and the bad. I value you as a friend, Shirik; nothing else. Plain speaking goes both ways."

She shook her head with a rueful smile. He really didn't know anything about her, she realized. But then, they hadn't really spent much time together in so long. "I know.... only a friend will stab you in the face," she said. It wasn't the goodbye she'd wanted for them to have, but it was a farewell. "I just hope you and she find happiness. Goodbye, Ben."

"Bye, Shirik," Benedict nodded.

With that she slipped from the room as quietly as she'd entered, and knew in her heart she'd never see him again.

He watched her go. Benedict knew that it was a final good bye. He hoped that his words would allow her to get over her infatuation with him. He'd spoken harsh words, the plain and literal truth. There could not be anything more than friends between them, though she'd hoped there would be. Benedict was saddened to see her go, he'd lost another friend. Just like he'd lost Tebrianne. Teb had been right; with Tayla there could never be other women that were friends. She'd always be paranoid. So it was for the best really. It just made Benedict feel more alone.

---

"Regrets"
By: Commander Lyrr Tayla, First Officer
Lt. JG Shirik Lektar, Operations

Location: Lektar's quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.30, 17h00

***

She didn't quite understand the folly, but if Starfleet had commanded it, Lyrr had enough faith that the higher-ups were aware of the Sulu's situation and how detrimental a crew transfer would be to the ship's operation at this time. As long as they replaced the officers they were taking, Lyrr was mildly appeased, but the new crew would still require time to get adjusted to life on the Sulu, and that meant time during which the ship's complement would not be working together as a finely-oiled machine. Especially now, that was what they needed.

Shaking her head slowly, Lyrr continued forward. While Matt was on the surface entertaining dignitaries, it would be Lyrr's duty to bid the departing officers farewell. Although she hadn't become overly familiar with many of them, there was one officer she couldn't do without speaking to one last time. There was too much history between them to do so. What more needed to be said, however? Would her presence even be welcomed? It was too late to turn back by the time those thoughts entered her mind. She had already activated the door chime.

The room was dark. Shirik had come right back after her farewell to Ben in sickbay and hadn't left the room since. She'd been packed up in a matter of minutes; she didn't own much. A few books, a small case containing her commendations and the bracelet given her by Sorg Jurell, her flute which had lain untouched since she came aboard, and her small terrarium containing the tasmos she would grow in the arboretum in the next ship she ended up serving on. The tasmos she had started in the Sulu's arboretum in the cave there would remain, the only reminder of her presence here to those who knew what it was.

She'd been crying. Her eyes were puffy and her nose a bit stuffed, and she'd stared off into space in thought when the chime rang. It made her jump. She

looked up towards the door but didn't sense Saavar's presence, so to her mind that left few others it could be. Not Ben, unless they had let him leave sickbay. Caly, maybe? Jurell?

"Just a minute," she called, heading into the head to clean up her face and compose herself before answering the door. "Computer, lights at normal level." She squinted at herself as the lights came up and she washed up her face. She took a few deep breaths and cleared her thoughts, then went to the door. As it opened she blinked in surprise to see that it was Commander Lyrr. She stepped back a half-step and straightened her back unconsciously. "Commander."

The XO cleared her throat awkwardly. "Lieutenant," she returned. "I just came by to wish you good luck and see if there was...anything you wanted to speak about before you departed." Lyrr glanced around distractedly, before again settling her gaze on Shirik. "Would you mind inviting me in?"

"Oh." She wasn't sure what to say, and wondered if Ben had said anything about her conversation with him. She hoped not. She blinked and stepped aside. "Oh. Yes. Certainly, come in." Her side of the room was empty, only two small duffels on her neatly made bed. The space gave one the impression that even before Shirik had packed, it had looked empty. "Can I get you anything?"

"No, nothing." Lyrr smiled tightly, and as an afterthought added, "Thank you. I just...I realize we haven't talked much, but I also know that we're far more...connected" --she used the word hesitantly-- "than I am to others on board. It wouldn't feel right if you and I didn't clear some things up before you left."

Shirik waved her hand towards the living area and seated herself in a chair. "What is there to clear up?" she asked curiously.

"Well..." Lyrr sat stiffly in the chair farthest from Lektar and folded her hands upon her lap. She appeared wholly uncomfortable. "You...you went to see Ben?" she asked to break the ice.

Shirik's defenses went up like the Sulu's shields, and it was apparent even to someone who didn't know her. Her posture stiffened, her expression went carefully neutral. "Yes," she said carefully. She too folded her hands in her lap.

Lyrr waited for elaboration expectantly, but when nothing appeared forthcoming, she frowned slightly. "Did he...not seem well to you?"

"Yes, he's doing well," she said. "I'm sure it won't be long before he's fully recovered."

Sighing, Lyrr's posture slackened visibly. "I was hoping," she said quietly, "that you would be here while he recuperated. He...he doesn't have any friends other than you, Lieutenant. And when I can't be there for him...I was hoping you could be...." Lyrr shook her head wistfully. "This is horrible timing."

Shirik's jaw tightened. "He'll be just fine without me," she said stiffly.

Lyrr's surprise was obvious. "I don't understand.... If it's me you're worried about, don't be. I've come to realize that...I can't be jealous of every woman in Ben's life." She smiled wanly. "I can't be jealous of you anymore, Lieutenant. I can't keep pushing people out of Ben's life."

She shook her head slightly. "No... it's not you. He's pushing them all by himself. It's just as well I'm leaving now." She looked away, over towards the duffels on her bed. "You have nothing to be jealous of in any case. He made it quite clear that I have nothing to offer him."

"Ben did that?" Lyrr asked skeptically. "You might have misinterpreted him.... He's still just getting back to himself, you must understand."

She looked back to Lyrr. "No, Commander, I did not misinterpret him. He was right in some ways. I can see now that my feelings for him were a waste of much time, a mistake. One I intend to rectify. It is fortunate I came to this way of thinking without foolishly giving my life to keep him safe." She paused as a lump caught in her throat, and she swallowed it away. "I would have, you know," she said quietly. "I gave my word to bring him back safely, I'd have done whatever it took to do that."

Lyrr was silenced momentarily by the revelation. She hadn't realized before how deep Shirik's feelings for Ben ran. There was a pang of guilt in knowing she should have given the two a chance to explore something more. It might have been his only opportunity to find greater happiness than he could ever have with her. "Does...does Ben know that?" Lyrr whispered. "Does he know your feelings are true?"

"I don't think so. He doesn't want to know, or doesn't care. He calls it an infatuation, says it's not really love. It doesn't really matter, my feelings for him have always been irrelevant, since he doesn't return them. Since I have never known love, what I feel simply cannot be love, he says. Perhaps he's right." She shrugged.

Lyrr frowned and sank into the soft backing of the chair pensively. "Those are strange words, coming from him," she muttered, staring blankly at the floor. "I...I told him something akin to that. I've never had someone to love before. Ben was the first...but when I expressed some doubts about what I was truly feeling, that love was something so new to me that I couldn't possibly be feeling it for him...he convinced me otherwise." Her eyes found Shirik's again, and shone with concern. "If your love is really infatuation," she asked slowly, "then how is mine any different?"

Shirik met her gaze. "The difference," she said, "is that he loves you."

Lyrr's features darkened, Ben's sincerity suddenly in question "That's no explanation," she answered lowly. Her hands were visibly clenching the armrests of the chair. "Does that explanation cut it for you?"

"It doesn't have to. It no longer matters; I'm leaving the Sulu, and whatever Ben does with his life is no concern of mine. I do wish the two of you happiness. There is nothing and no one in your way any more."

"Except ourselves?" Lyrr ventured with a wry smile. "Or is it just Ben's secrets, ones I've been discovering far slower than I should be?" Her eyes narrowed inquisitively. "You were his friend and confidante...how long did it take him to tell you about his night with Ms. Bancroft?" she asked.

"It was Tebrianne who told me first," she said. "Ben mentioned it later. He felt very guilty about it."

"I know that," Lyrr said slowly. "I also know I wasn't the person he came to when he was ready to confess his indiscretion." She swallowed hard, making it evident that her expression was of disappointment rather than anger. "How much more don't I know, Lieutenant?"

"I don't know," Shirik said slowly. "But even if I did, it would not be my place to tell you."

Lyrr snorted. "Apparently it's not Ben's either." From downcast to obviously displeased, Lyrr's mood changed abruptly. "Tell me, Lieutenant - since it's apparent Ben wouldn't - have you and T'Kal slept together?" She leaned forward, peering sharply at Lektar. "The truth, please."

Shirik met her gaze evenly. "No, Commander, we haven't. He would never betray you with me."

Reading between the lines, she surmised, "But with another, he would?"

"You did point out the night with Ms. Bancroft. I believe that was his only indiscretion. But I know that he would never do that with me." She paused. "Perhaps now that he has broken his bond with her, she will no longer be able to tempt him so."

"She shouldn't have been able to to begin with," Lyrr whispered, her head bowing in defeat. "What does he want? What is it that I'm not giving him?"

"Do not underestimate the power of the bond," she said quietly. "It can only help not having it any more. According to him, all he wants is you."

She sighed heavily as she looked aside at the bare wall of Lektar's quarters. "He may have hurt you," she told Shirik quietly, "but once you're gone...I know he'll feel your loss deeply." Her dark eyes watched Lektar sidelong. "He'll never find another friend as loyal as you are, Lieutenant. And as much uneasiness as has existed between us, I still know that for certain." She rose, then, and managed a faint smile. "Thank you for speaking with me."

Shirik rose with her and offered her hand. "My time aboard the Sulu will never be forgotten," she said. "Thank you for stopping by, Commander."

Lyrr clasped her former rival's hand gently, and at once felt foolish for thinking of her in such terms. If she had never gotten involved with Ben, she and Lektar might have been something close to friends. That was one thing Lyrr lacked the most, and the most important thing she needed now. "You're a good woman," Lyrr told her softly. "I only wish we'd spoken more." She smiled. "Maybe in an alternate universe, hm?"

"One never knows," she said with a faint smile.

Lyrr chuckled. "Then see you in the next universe, Shirik. It's been a pleasure serving with you," she finished sincerely, and after giving her hand a fond squeeze, Lyrr turned for the door.

Shirik nodded agreement. "Goodbye, Commander." she said softly.

---

"Planetary Funfest, Part 1"
By: Kelzira Rax
Tchalla Mel'Chir
Amy Reese
Kit Markham

Location: Castari Alpha
Stardate 57910.30, 17h25

***

The planet was beautiful. The people were amazing. Life was amazing.

Tchalla Mel'chir and Kelzira Rax strolled hand-in-hand through the lush park. There were fountains everywhere, sending cascading sprays into the air that washed over those present in a luxurious, fine mist. Beside them, Amy Reese strolled along. She was smiling and happier than either had seen her in a long time. For awhile, they'd been all holding hands, with Kelli in the middle, but then Amy decided she needed to dunk her hands into one of the fountains. She'd sent a spray of water at Tchi and Kelli that had the three giggling madly. Now, again, they walked, enjoying the planet and each other's company.

Tchi grinned over at Amy and her friend returned the smile. Shore leave was wonderful, though she knew hers would be shortened by the science mission. Thankfully she was given the time today to enjoy. She'd chosen to wear a long skirt that brushed the top of her sandaled feet and a halter top that seemed to be perfect for the planet. Kelli wore a similar top and a wrap to cover it. Beneath the wrap were the bottoms to the bikini she wore, in case the water proved to be too enticing.

When they'd left the ship, Kit had been with them, but shortly after they started off, a mischievous smile overcame him, and he darted off with promises to return soon. The time for the three of them had been very nice, and even though they missed Kit, the time for themselves was appreciated. Talk had ranged all over the place, and in the time they'd spent together, the friendship they'd forged on Risa, seemingly so long ago, had been reaffirmed and solidified.

And, to top everything off, they'd received an invitation to a party. It sounded too wonderful to pass up, so they'd readily accepted. There was still time before they'd need to head down to the shore to look for the tents, stage, and bonfire that would indicate the party. For now, they were happy to keep exploring.

Amy giggled boisterously from between them, and when Tchi and Kelli looked her way, she was bashfully averting her gaze from a passing Castari - a striking male who was following her with his eyes as they passed. Once out of earshot, Amy whispered, "Did you see that? The men on this planet are gods!"

Kelli grinned. "I had happened to notice," she said. "They're rather...impressive in every way. And, I have a very sneaky suspicion that the party we'll be at later, will have quite a few of them."

"They're gods," Tchalla said, looking around confused. "They are very attractive. Right?"

Kelli grinned. "Oh, they definitely are."

"They would most likely turn a straight man...well, into something somewhat crooked," came a voice behind them. As they looked back, Kit was standing there grinning. "I tell you, it's somewhat distressing for a short godling such as myself to be amongst such...well, extremely tall gods. Of course, my plans to take over and rule this planet are dashed, once again." He grinned at the three of them. "But, don't think that I haven't forgotten my three most loyal and beautiful subjects, though I guess since I'm not going to be ruling this place, you'll just have to be my friends." From behind his back, he produced a bundle of packages. He handed a small box to Tchalla. "To my dearest and bluest friend." He handed the next to Kelli. "And, to the friend whose spots are, well, they'll always have a place in my heart, and I promise to never again make any jokes about connecting the dots." And, he finally turned to Amy with a smile. "And, for the woman who's the string on my guitar, the sole of my shoe, and the single reason why my hair is this rather dashing shade of blue today. Just small things that I picked up at a tent over in that market. Saw them, thought of you, and couldn't resist."

Amy grinned as she greedily snatched up her box. "I'm glad you didn't," she told him, and all three girls eagerly opened their palm-sized packages. There was a trio of gasps and delighted coos. "Oh, wow," Amy breathed.

>From the box, she pulled up the string of beads, each perfectly shaped sphere glittering as the sun caught the flecks of gold in them; a pendant hung from the center of all three necklaces, and upon them were engraved a series of glyphs, with each bearing their own unique combination of symbols.

Amy smiled fondly. "Thanks, Kit. These are really great." She dangled the necklace before her eyes, studying the medallion. "Though...what's all this mean?"

"The guy running the stand told me that those are warding symbols, and they're supposed to give the wearer long life, happiness, and luck when necessary." He gave her a grin. "You don't have to wear them if you don't want, though. I just thought they looked nice, so I picked them up for you guys." He took a step closer to Amy and lowered his voice so just she could hear. "Did you want more girls-only time? I can run down to the beach if you wanted more time for the three of you. And, we can catch up later."

She sighed with feigned exasperation and tugged Kit towards them, bumping Tchalla aside with her hip to make room for him between she and Kelli. "Don't be such a gentleman, Kit," she chided him. "Girl time includes Kitty time."

Kit laughed. "Alright then," he said. "They're having some big party tonight? Did you guys hear? I think I want to bring my guitar. You never know, right?"

"A man told us," Tchi said. "He was a god."

Kelli giggled. "Oh, he was. You'll have to excuse her, ever since we sort of...well, started with Dwayne, she's been very open-minded."

Amy's eyebrow shot up in curiousity. "Started what with Dwayne?" she asked them.

Kelli looked at Amy, then realized they hadn't said anything about their situation with Dwayne. "I completely forgot to say something. Remember the night of party? When you left? Well, we stayed with Dwayne, and...well, he came back to our place and... I'm not really sure how to define it, but...I guess we're sort of...seeing each other, in a sense. I've always liked him, and...well, he was really worked up that night. So, we sort of helped him...relieve some tension. Not together...we...we haven't all...together..."

"Just separately," Tchalla offered. "He really likes Kelli's spots. I'm not sure what he likes about me, but...he doesn't seem as..."

"Pent up," Kit suggested.

"Yes," Kelli and Tchi answered together.

Amy's eyes had grown as wide as was physically possible, their admission taking time to sink in. Finally she blurted, "You had sex with Dwayne?! Both of you!?"

"Not at the same time," Tchalla said quickly.

Kelli grinned sheepishly. "We did. I thought it was just going to be me, but...well, when Tchi came back to the room, he was...he didn't want her to feel left out. You're not...not upset are you?"

"Me?" Amy shrugged. "I know he's been pressuring me to go beyond friendship with him, but I've already told him now isn't the right time. But if he's moved onto the two of you, then great!" She smiled broadly. "Although, if he tells either of you that he loves you...I wouldn't give it much weight."

Kelli grinned. "Well, we'll see what happens. Not sure if I could see us doing this with him here. I wonder if he's going to leave the ship the whole time we're here. I'd hoped that a side-effect would be you getting a little bit of a breather from him. I'm glad that's true. He can be pushy."

"Very pushy," Amy agreed wholeheartedly. "He nearly gave me an ultimatum between becoming lovers, or nothing at all." She snorted. "A little presumptuous for such a supposedly sensitive guy."

"If you want," Kit said, "I can rough up his knees a bit."

Tchi punched him in the arm and they all broke into laughter.

"I know he doesn't like me all that much," Kit said. "But, maybe...maybe now that he's not pursuing Amy in hopes of Kirking her, he might see me in a different light, as opposed to 'the other man.'"

"We could always pull you into our bed and have our way with you, then you would be again."

Kelli looked at Tchi and gaped at her.

"I was kidding," the Andorian said with a grin. "Besides, I like Dwayne and wouldn't want to hurt him like that. Even though he can be a little insensitive at times."

Amy rolled her eyes and sighed theatrically. "She's been corrupted. Looks like Blue was the last of us to fall into the pits of depravity."

"I am not corrupted," Tchi said. "I'm not! I'm still...well, but...I am! I'm innocent."

"It's okay to want me," Kit said, shrugging as if it were nothing. "I can't think of a woman on the ship who wouldn't, you know. Godling, remember? Well, I doubt the commander would. And, maybe the chief science officer. Okay, we'll stop there, the list is too long. But, it's alright, Tchi. Desire is natural. But, you can look, but no touching. Amy can touch if she wants because of past rights. And...well...I guess if you want to touch my arm, it's allowable."

"What about me and our past association," Kelli said with a wink.

Kit laughed. "I vote for a change of topic. Who's with me?"

Amy's arm shot up. "Can we move onto what we're supposed to wear to this party tonight? And what we're not supposed to do?"

"We're not supposed to turn Kit into Mr. Show and Tell," he said with a grin. "Do we want to double-date tonight?" He turned to Amy. "Would you like to go as my date, Ames? We could colour coordinate. Personally, I think you guys look great already. I think those look like great outfits to party on Castari."

Tchi grinned and slipped her hand into Kelli's. "Kelli's my date," she said. "And, I like my outfit. I hope it's alright for tonight."

"I'll go with you," Amy agreed casually. "Though, do we have to go with blue hair? Maybe something more vibrant?"

Kit grinned. "As vibrant as you'd like. We should probably head back to the ship to do that. I figure it'll probably take two hours. So, we still have time if we'd like to do any sightseeing."

"I don't mind more sightseeing," Kelli said.

"I'd like that," Tchi added.

Kit grinned. "We can probably also grab a bite to eat. You up for it, Ames?"

She wrapped her arm around his and grinned. "Definitely!"

Kit grinned and pointed toward a small cluster of buildings in the distance. "Let's go see what they have over there," he said, and led the way. As they fell into comfortable conversation again, Kit couldn't help hoping that things might be better for all of them now. There was no way to go back, and he knew that he didn't want to. Not to how things were before. But the future looked hopeful, one where they could be happy with themselves, and once they were happy with who they were, they could possibly find happiness together.

---

"One More Goodbye"
By: Lt. JG Shirik Lektar, Operations
Lt. Mark Thaine, Chief Engineer

Location: Thaine's quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.30, 20h00

***

To some, a good meal should consist of the finest ingredients, preferably rare, cooked to perfection. An equally fine drink, possibly wine, might accompany the meal, but it must complement the flavours of the food. It must also, preferably, match the rarity of the ingredients of the meal.

Mark Thaine was not one of those people. To him, a good meal consisted of a hot curry and a cold beer. What was in the curry was a minor detail, and one that was best overlooked (especially when having one outside the Federation).

Another thing that Thaine liked was not to be interrupted during a meal. And so it was that when the door chime rang at the moment he had sat down to eat, his mood took a turn for the worse. Storming over to the door, he angrily jabbed the 'open' command with a finger. "What?" he demanded, and then paused in surprise.

Standing there was the black-skinned Drokari Princess from Ops, that had recently been working a lot of double-shifts in engineering. Her eyes were haunted, her frame a bit on the thin side recently. In her hands she held a dark purple glass bottle. "Good evening, Lieutenant," she said. "May I come in?"

"I'd just sat down to eat," answered the Chief, but then his expression softened as he noticed the look of the woman. And he could scarcely turn away someone who had been pulling so many double shifts in his department... "But sure. Come in. Something up?" he asked as he moved aside to let Shirik into his quarters.

"I didn't mean to intrude," she said, stepping inside. "But this couldn't wait until tomorrow." She slipped into an empty chair at the table where his meal waited, and set the bottle on the tabletop. "I won't stay long," she promised.

Puzzled, Thaine sat down into the chair across from her, and shook his head. "Don't worry about that. What's up? And what's this?" He gestured to the bottle.

"It's a gift," she said, a tad shyly. "It's Drokari wine, from my homeworld." She paused, and folded her hands on the tabletop. "I'll be leaving the ship in a few hours... I've been reassigned. I just wanted to make sure I'd said goodbye to you before I did."

Thaine's dark eyebrows raised in surprise, and he found himself rubbing his chin. How many of the crew had been re-assigned in these last weeks? "Damn," he said. "Booter I knew about, but nobody said anything about you going. Who's gonna pull double shifts in my department now, huh?"

She smiled a bit. "I'm sure you'll find someone to volunteer," she said. She paused once more, collecting her thoughts. "I just want you know, sir.... I don't have much respect for most of the command staff. But you were one of the senior officers on this ship I do have respect for, and trust. One of the few I'll miss."

Thaine's gaze dipped from hers, briefly, before looking back up at her; both flattered and embarrassed. "Well, between you and me, Lektar," he said, "I don't reckon much to most of the personnel from Ops...but you made a pretty good engineer." His own commentary on the rest of the senior staff he decided to keep to himself, but he did share with her a small smile; a rare sight from the normally surly engineer.

This brought an answering smile from her. "Now that's something you don't see every day," she said about his smile. "Which is a shame. You really ought to use it more often." She eyed his dinner, still sitting untouched. "Please don't let your food get cold just because of me."

"Well, hold on a moment. I was planning on seeing Booter off before she gets on that shuttle," the Chief explained. "Oh-two-hundred hours, right?"

She nodded. "Quite a few of us will be there, from what I hear. Oh-two-hundred, yes. We're going to be going back to the Alpha Quadrant on the Hyperion, and from there, who knows."

Thaine nodded, and moved to stand. "I should see you then. But in case I don't...good luck with the future. If your work in my department is anything to go by, you've got a good career ahead of you."

She rose as well, and flashed him the hint of a grin. "I've got my eye on command someday," she admitted, extending her hand. "It was good working with you, sir."

The Chief clasped her hand, and shook it warmly. "And you, Lieutenant. See you later tonight."

This brought a real smile to her face and she returned his shake. "Yes, sir. Enjoy your dinner." With that, she exited the room, leaving the bottle behind.

---

"Planetary Funfest, Part 2"
By: Kelzira Rax
Tchalla Mel'Chir
Amy Reese
Kit Markham

Location: Castari Alpha
Stardate 57910.30, 20h05

***

The festivities had begun while the sun was still lingering on the horizon and was in full spring by the time Kit, Amy, Tchi, and Kelli left their planetary residences, all decked up and ready for a party. Although their final destination was the beach, the revellers began their procession there on the streets. Music and exotic scents permeated the heady night air, and there was dancing to be had by all, Sulu officers and Castari alike.

All the women were adorned with wreaths of flowers crowning their heads, offered to them by the man with whom they enjoyed their first dance. The atmosphere was lively and energizing, and although Castari Alpha resembled Risa in climate and landscape, it became clear soon enough that the Castari were far more exuberant than the Risans.

"This is amazing!" Amy hollered above the zithering music.

"When I retire from Starfleet," Kit said as he looked around, "I'm moving here. I think a nice little outdoor performance area for a band and gathering. That music is great! I love the sound."

"We should try replicating it back on board and write something to go with it," Amy suggested. She giggled as she performed a twirl for Kit. "We even have the outfits to match!"

During their shopping spree earlier, the four had visited nearly every shop within walking distance, selecting an item from each when something caught their eye. Amy had purchased the sandals she wore first before even seeing her outfit, but the white straps securing them to her feet and coiling around her ankles matched perfectly with her pleated, white dress. The fabric was light and airy, a necessity when living in Castari's tropical climate, and its skirt fluttered in the breeze. The bodice was comprised of two thick strips of the same material that were wide enough just to conceal each breast, and extended from the waist to tie around the back of her neck. With as hot as it was on Castari, any opportunity to expose flesh meant an even greater tan in the end.

The necklace Kit had purchased for her hung down her chest and was the perfect accessory for the simple outfit. Together, she and Kit had chosen to colour their hair a bright red with streaks of white, completing Amy's overall look and giving her a sense of normalcy she'd been lacking for some time.

Kit had found a nice pair of shorts. White, similar to Amy's, that came to his knees, and had to be the most comfortable garment he'd ever worn. He found a light and airy shirt that buttoned up the front. It fit loosely and had a bright red pattern running in a band down one side. He'd even found a pair of white sandals to complete the outfit. He couldn't remember a time when he'd felt so comfortable.

Tchalla had found a top similar to Amy's but in a deep blue that seemed to go really well against her skin tone. She couldn't remember a time when she'd displayed that much skin in public, but Kelli seemed to approve. The skirt she wore was slit up both sides and was made of a native material woven into a nearly transparent mesh. Beneath it, she wore a pair of tight-fitting shorts of the same deep blue as the top. Her feet were bare, but each ankle had a silver chain with small medallions affixed to it around it.

Kelli had managed to find a pair of deep blue sandals that wound up to just below her knees. The skirt she wore was shorter in the front and longer in the back, and made of the same material as Amy's. It was a slightly lighter blue than Tchalla's. The top was just a dark blue band that circled her breasts for the sake of decency. She and Kelli both wore the necklaces Kit had given them. From the smiles on their faces, it was obvious they were having a wonderful time.

"I'm getting some ideas," Kit said as he listened to the music. "I think it might change the Suluists' sound, but I think it'll be much better."

Amy smiled slowly at Kit. "Should we dance, and maybe scope out the sound a little more?" she ventured.

"I think that sounds perfect," Kit said with a grin. He took her hand and lead her further into the party, closer to where the band was playing. The instruments were familiar, but not. It was all very exciting. Once they were in the thick of where everyone was dancing, Kit pulled Amy into his arms and quickly tried to take her through the steps the Castari were doing in their dance. It wasn't hard to pick up, and soon they no longer had to check those around them for the steps.

"This planet is great," Amy laughed as she and Kit spun through the crowd of revellers. "I hope we get to stay here long."

"I do too," Kit said. "We'll have to come back here, after. If you want, of course. And, if the Federation will allow it. I think this would be a nice place to have a home."

Amy chuckled. "I thought that was Alpha Centauri?"

Kit laughed softly. "Well, maybe this one here can be a vacation home," he said. "I don't think we should limit ourselves to just one. There are too many nice places out in the galaxy to set limits. I'm really glad we stopped here. I think this is what all of us need. Time to just recharge ourselves, find ourselves again." He glanced across the way, and grinned. "Oh hey. Check out those two. Talk about a cute couple."

Amy followed his gaze to a pair talking at an intimately close distance - one a Chawla female and the other a male of the Norkrck. She was exotic and beautiful, even in comparison to the others of her kind at the festivities that night, and neither looked older than Amy and Kit themselves. Amy sighed dreamily. "Young love..."

"It's so...refreshing," he said. "And, they look so happy, don't they." He glanced back at Amy and watched her for a moment. "Did we ever look like that? I don't think we did. At least not before. Now though, I can't remember a time when I've felt this content and happy."

"Remember that we're still taking a break," she reminded gently, but smiled. "Still, this is nice." Loosely draping her arms around his shoulders, Amy sighed and moved in to rest her cheek against Kit's as they danced. The proximity was comfortable and Amy felt relaxed with Kit despite everything.

"Our break is first in my mind," Kit said softly. "But, I'm happy and comfortable because...because I guess I realized some things. And, since then, I've just been that much more confident and comfortable. I can't really explain it other than to say, it feels like I've found myself. I still love you and I always will, but before I wasn't alright with myself. And I'm finding that now."

"And I'm glad you are," Amy told him. "It was this Kit I fell in love with in the beginning and I'm glad he's back."

Kit grinned. "That makes two of us," he said. "I didn't like who I'd become. But, I like who I am now. Especially with this shirt. Is this an amazing shirt, or what?" He grinned. "Thank you for giving me a second chance to be the friend you deserve, and not whatever I had become."

"If anyone knows anything about second chances, it's me," Amy quipped. "And yes...the shirt is amazing...but the hair's even better."

"I think this is our best colour yet," Kit said with a grin. "I think I'd like to keep this one for a bit. What do you say we dance our way over to that snack table. Looks like they have some puffs that look rather tasty."

Amy giggled. "You sure know the way to my heart." And joining hands with Kit, they stretched out their arms straight as arrows, stood cheek to cheek, and scampered their way towards the food.

***

As Amy and Kit separated and went off in their own direction, Kelli and Tchalla were left alone together. Still hand in hand, they moved through the crowd, careful of others but focused on each other.

"I feel naked," Tchalla said in a whisper.

"You look perfect," Kelli said, sliding around her lover and taking her into her arms. Tchalla grinned and they started moving in time with the music. "Have I ever told you that the colour of your skin is my favourite shade of blue?"

Tchi blushed and stole a quick kiss from Kelli's lips. "I think you've mentioned it."

"Do you think Dwayne misses us?"

Tchi nodded. "I think he does. Maybe he'll come to the party. We can dance with him too."

Kelli laughed. "I doubt he would, but he may surprise us."

Tchalla grinned. "I'm glad we're here."

Kelli nuzzled against Tchalla's throat for a moment, then kissed her briefly and said, "Come on, let's go get something to drink and eat, then we're dancing until the sun comes up." And, with that, she whisked Tchalla off and away.

***

Kit picked up plates for both himself and Amy, and as they circled the table they added things that looked tasty to each plate. There was a wide selection and it all looked fabulous.

"Oh, that one," Kit was saying as he deposited a tart on his own plate, and then one on Amy's. "Looks like it's filled with some sort of fruit. Wow, these people are truly amazing."

"They don't have replicators so this food must be all naturally grown," Amy marvelled, studying the tart held between her thumb and forefinger. As she leaned in to grab a bite, a Castari woman slid in between she and Kit. Her back was to Amy, who was frowning. "Well, that was rude," she muttered, and took a sullen bite from her tart.

"You are from the Federation?" the woman asked, smiling at Kit. She was no taller than he was, and her sultry green eyes bored into his.

Kit was startled as the young woman suddenly appeared. He was taken aback for a moment when he realized it was the young woman he and Amy had observed just a few short moments ago. "Yes," he said. "I'm Kit Markham. Great party. We're having a wonderful time. And, these tarts, they're amazing."

The woman smiled as she relieved Kit of the confection and set it down upon the table. Her hand replaced the tart in his. "Dance with me." There seemed little choice for Kit as she turned to the dancing crowd and started forward. Amy, full-mouthed, blubbered a protest, but they were already briskly moving away.

Kit looked back at Amy and gave her an apologetic smile. "I'll be right back," he mouthed helplessly. She was pretty, but she was a little on the forward side. "So...enjoying the party?"

Her eyes glittered as she chuckled throatily. "I am now," she husked, and swung Kit into an embrace. "I'm Nolana." Her slender body flattened against his in encouragement to lead the dance.

Kit took the lead in the dance, frowning back toward Amy. "I'm from the Sulu, the Federation ship that's here. So...who's your friend? The two of you looked very happy together."

"My friend?" Her dark lips remained smiling as her hand slid over his chest. "I don't even know his name. But I'd certainly like to know yours," she whispered close to his lips.

"I'm Kit," he said. "So...what do you do here, on Castari? I'm a pilot."

Her face lit up with interest. "Do you fly your starship?"

"I do," he said. "Part of the time, at least. There are two of us who do. It's a lot of fun, actually. Have you seen it yet? Our ship. I don't know if it's been much of an attraction for people here or not, but it's very beautiful."

With a touch of mischief in her smile, she said, "I have not seen it." Her hips pressed scandalously into his. "Will you show me?"

"I can probably walk you over there," Kit said. "I hope you don't mind if my friend comes along. We're here together."

She frowned. "But...I had thought that we were. Besides, your friend appears busy herself."

Kit glanced over at Amy, who had been asked to dance by the same man he'd last seen with Nolana. He grinned. "Looks that way," he said. "Maybe they want to come by the ship and take a look too."

"Maybe they do," she agreed rather enthusiastically. "Shall we go now?"

Kit nodded toward them. "Come on, then," he said. "Let's go see." With that, he led the way over to where Amy and the man were dancing. He gave Amy a smile, one that held another apology as well. "Hey, I was just telling Nolana about the ship, and...well, I was wondering if maybe the two of you wanted to head over that way...you know, to take a look."

Amy appeared relieved and quickly stepped out of the man's hold. "I think that's the best idea you've ever had, Kit." She noted the woman had a firm hold of Kit's arm, and as she reached out for his other, her hand was intercepted by the blond man's. Amy smiled weakly.

"We should hurry," Nolana told them. Her eyes were scanning the crowd anxiously. "We do not want to miss the bonfire."

"Of course not," Kit said, trying not to sound bitter. He turned in the direction of the ship, using superior navigational knowledge and the years of training he'd acquired in his life to guide them so that he had Amy to one side. He smiled to himself and reached out and brushed his hand against the back of hers.

"Are all of the women from your world, are they as beautiful as Ahmee?" the blond man, Fornith, asked, gazing very intently at Amy.

After what they'd seen earlier, Kit couldn't help wonder if something fishy was going on. He and Amy had distinctly seen the two being more cute than Kelli and Tchi could ever be. "There are a lot of beautiful women where we come from. A lot of beautiful men. It's hard to put one above all the others." He glanced over at Amy and smiled. "But, Amy's the most beautiful woman I've ever met."

"That is as I thought," he said, then smiled at Amy.

She chuckled dryly and shot a long-suffering look in Kit's direction. From Nolana came a distinctly audible gasp, and when they regarded her suddenly she was glancing intermittently over her shoulder while also trying to push her way through the crowd with greater effort.

"Let us hurry, please," she told them, all levity having vanished from her voice. The three hastened their formerly leisurely stroll, even though Nolana, and now Fornith, were hardly watching the path ahead.

Amy turned her head to seek out the focus of their concerned gazes. A small group of men, all in robes, but of a heavy, dark fabric, were marching through the throng of revellers. All were clearing a path. She stumbled as Fornith jerked her arm to pull her along faster and emitted an aggravated protest. "What's going on here!"

"No time to explain, Ahmee," Fornith said. "We shall explain later. For now, we must hurry. Please."

Kit looked back, then at Amy. "Fine," he finally said. "But, we'd better get answers."

Fornith grunted an affirmative reply, then hurried them forward even faster. Soon, they were running among the revellers, jostling and elbowing their way through, while Kit and Amy exchanged confused looks. The sea of celebrants seemed unending, and with the heavy footfalls of the booted men getting closer, there was a sudden sense of urgency.

"This way!" Nolana exclaimed, and as one string of beads like those on Amy's necklace, she veered into an alleyway, hauling Kit, Amy, and Fornith along behind her.

"What is this?" Amy hollered again. "Are you guys outlaws or something?!"

"Stop," Kit said once they were all in the alley. "Stop it! What's going on?" He tried to dig his heels into the ground to stop them all. "What's going on here?"

Nolana added her other hand to the vice-like grip she had Kit's in and struggled to heave him into a jog again. But Kit and Amy refused to budge. Fornith released her hand and rushed forward to join Nolana.

"Please," he entreated them. "You must help. You see, we're--"

"Halt!" a baritone voice bellowed from behind. Amy and Kit whirled around with a start.

"Fornith," Nolana whispered. "Go!"

Fornith surged forward and grabbed Nolana's hand; the two of them didn't waste any time speeding away, hand in hand, leaving Kit and Amy gaping after them in the alley.

As the large figures in robes raced past, Kit glanced at Amy, his eyebrow raised nearly up into his hairline. "What was that about?"

Amy shook her head, dumbfounded. "I have no idea." And as they disappeared, she turned back to Kit, wearing a smug grin. "So...was she cute?"

Kit shrugged. "Yeah, I guess she was," he said. "But she was also really weird." He looked up into her eyes and grinned. "And, I happen to have a thing for mercurial redheads."

"Then ask this one to dance," she quipped and slipped her hand into Kit's.

Kit smiled at Amy as they turned to the exit from the alley. "Would you care to have a dance, Miss Amy Reese? I hear there's going to be a wonderful bonfire and those puff treats looked quite delicious. I would be extremely honoured if you would share one with me."

"Puff treats, you say?" Amy smiled eagerly. "Lead the way," she said, and hoped they wouldn't face another strange interruption like they had moments ago.

---