"Holy Smokes Bullwinkle!"
By: CPO Calyca Boothroyd
Crewman First Class Sorg Jurell

Location: USS Sulu, Boothroyd's Quarters
Stardate: 57910.27, 00h30

***

He was stealing her breath again, but she was coming to love the feeling. Addicting kisses indeed. In the two months that she'd known him... Since that very first kiss... She'd been hooked... Damn him anyway. Caly wrenched her lips from his and panted raggedly for breath. "You make me forget everything," she whispered against his lips as her body trembled in reaction. "And that scares the hell out of me..."

"There's nothing to be scared of," he whispered as he slid his lips to her neck. He bit softly at her skin until her earlobe was enclosed between his lips and he bit softly there too, his hot breath washing over her sensitive ear and neck. Her fingers grasped at his arm, not even getting half-way around his muscular bicep as his hand roamed the contours of her back.

"That's what you sa-- Holy shit..." a tremor gripped her body and her fingers dug into his flesh. "This can't be healthy," she groaned and arched her head out of the way, exposing the length of her throat to him. "Can you die from kisses like this? I'm sure you can... It feels like you can..." she was babbling and let out her breath in a soft huff. Her hands slid up his arms and her nails scratched lightly across his shoulders. "I think you're killing me..." she whispered and he laughed softly against her neck. The tremors on his lips raised goose-flesh. He trailed lingering kisses down her neck and across her throat, and so softly he kissed his way to the swell of her breast, rising and falling with her ragged breath.

"Okay, you are definitely killing me," she agreed with herself and then her breath was stolen by a low moan and a murmured, "...hoh-boy..." as her fingers threaded into his hair and a whimper of a sound escaped through ragged breaths. She was torn between giving into the sensations that were taking her by storm and getting the hell out of there to escape them. What she finally did was let out a soft, rather strangled sounding... "...help..."

Jurell stopped what he was doing and leaned up to kiss her lips, plucking at her lower lip, he allowed her to gather her breath. He gazed into her green eyes, waiting for her to clarify what she wanted him to do. It hadn't sounded much like a stop...but then he didn't want to take chances and push it. He smiled gently, his azure gaze holding his clear desire for her.

He watched as her gaze cleared a bit and he found himself looking into eyes that were troubled, confused, aroused, and even a little frightened. But not of him, that much he could see. She was trembling now and couldn't seem to stop. She was also clinging to him. The woman was sending him mixed signals because she was all mixed up inside. "Help me...." she whispered shakily.

He brushed her cheek with a light caress of his fingers, and bent to pluck at her lip again, and then a kiss, soft yet knowing, he kissed her with a slow burning passion, his gentle hands caressing her body, her firm muscles, soft skin, womanly curves. A slow exploration that along with the kiss kindled a fire in both of them.

It was his gentleness that calmed her and soothed her emotions into something not so starkly overwhelming. It paved the way for the buildup of passion that was so new to her. By the time their lips parted for a much needed breath, she was pressing into his touches and her fingers were going on an exploration of their own.

"Is... Is this the sex thing?" she asked breathlessly.

He couldn't help the little chuckle until he bit his own lip. She was so responsive. "I think so..." he whispered into her ear, causing her to shiver delicately.

She surprised him totally with her reactions, instead of timidity, she was thirsting for more sensation as if he had tapped into a volcano called Calyca. There was so much of her that enthralled him, and he loved the new exploration a discovery of sensation that they could share. It was taking their relationship to a new level of intimacy and it frightened him and drew him.

All rational thought had fled from her now, replaced by the overwhelming sensations his kisses and caresses were causing. Her fingers traced the black and silver bands around his arms and her nails lightly ran over the muscles beneath them. The warmth and texture of his skin was like an addiction to her fingers and she couldn't stop touching him. She had never felt this close to anyone in her entire life. It scared her and at the same time drew her deeper and deeper into its spell.

"W-what's happening to me?" she pressed her lips against his ear. "I can't think... I don't even know what I'm doing..." she told him, her breath hot as it washed over his skin. "But I feel like I can't stop...." she pressed herself up, flattening her breasts against his chest. The motion caused a deep shudder to move through them both and she clung to him. "It scares me.... And keeps me wanting more..."

"I love you," he sighed into her throat as he trailed his lips across her body, her breasts, the smooth skin of her abdomen and lower, tasting her skin as if it was addictive, and it was. Jurell was swimming in sensation, and keeping as much control over his own responses as she. It had started as an exploration of boundaries but it had become a runaway supernova. Jurell was as incapable of stopping as she was. He didn't want to stop. It was intoxicating; an act of intimate love and devotion.

She didn't want him to stop. God knows she didn't. But at the same time the feelings were so powerfully overwhelming and so much of a stark contrast to anything she'd ever known or felt that she couldn't help the sudden surge of fear that washed through her at the sheer intimacy of it. She wasn't ready for this step! She couldn't be ready! She wasn't able to put a name to what she felt for him yet. Didn't she have to be able to do that first?

Her hands reached for him and her fingers gripped into his hair. But it was her eyes that held her spellbound by the sight that greeted them. And it was her eyes that frantically searched for the reassurance of Jurell's, and she found his azure gaze, watching her, filled with devotion and love, needing to please her.

It was a moment that hung suspended as their eyes met. He loved her, craved her, needed her, was held spellbound and captivated by her, and all this was in his eyes; their intimate connection seemed an almost tangible thing.

She'd heard of it before and had blatantly scoffed at the idea and called it utter hogwash. But right now, right this very moment, it was her heart that was flipping over and it was her heart that couldn't seem to right itself. Her lips parted at the sensation and her eyes were locked onto his. They were filled with a confusion that warred with her own deep feelings for him, and more. They filled with tears brought on by the overwhelming emotions that gripped her.

"B-but I don't have a name f-for what I feel for you..." Her voice was no more than a breathy whisper and her words were the rather inane thing he'd come to expect from her. She had the lousiest timing possible. "S-shouldn't I have a name before..."

Her question needed no answer that couldn't be found in his eyes. He knew the name she sought, and no answer from him could tell her. Jurell knew full well that she would have to give it a name herself, for everyone was different, and loved in their own unique way.

When she sagged back, she was panting for breath and the tears that had filled her eyes finally spilled over. Her hands grasped for him then, tugging on him and pulling herself up to wrap her arms around him. She was still trembling, still overwhelmed by her emotions, and the tears were streaming down her face as Jurell held her close, feeling the hammering of her heart against his chest.

He kissed the tears from her cheeks, so tenderly and gently as he stroked her back, he held her in silence, only listening to her breathing and waiting for her to speak.

She couldn't stop crying and she couldn't let go of him. If anything, her hold on him tightened and she pressed herself tightly against him. She knew the connection was there, she could feel it deep down inside and it radiated through her whole body. A part of her was scared to death of that feeling and it warred with the part that revelled in it, the part that knew it was real and alive and something to be cherished and held onto.

"Please don't hate me... But I can't say the words," she finally whispered close to his ear. "I just can't. Not when I'm feeling so scared and vulnerable."

"There's no words for you to say," he whispered softly. "I don't need you to say anything." He held her to him and was content to do so. "I could never hate you," he smiled, "why would you think such a thing? I'm happy that we are together, I don't expect anything else.. so don't worry about anything. I'll not be going anywhere, and we have all the time in the world."

She cupped his face with trembling hands and pulled back to look at him. Her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. "B-but I should be able to say them... Don't you see? Look at us... We're naked... And we just... I mean you... Uhhh...." Heat flooded her face and spread down to the tops of her breasts. It was every bit as crimson as her hair.

"Who ever told you that?" he smiled and chuckled, his soft laughter and dancing blue eyes told her that there was nothing at all to be scared of. "Yes, my love we did... Was it okay?" he asked with a grin, as he bent to plant a kiss on her shoulder and neck.

"Was it okay?" she blinked and if it was possible she got even redder. "Of course it was okay!" she squeaked. "Well wait... No, it wasn't okay... I mean... okay really isn't adequate.... I mean... Christ, Jurell.... They just didn't cover this in sex education class yanno," she finally told him with a huff. "And no one told me... I just figured that part out for myself watching everyone and their lame dog have sex with everyone else... People just don't make real commitments any more. I mean... Not that I've seen..." She was babbling pretty badly and gesturing with her hands when she wasn't clinging to him because she felt like she was falling.

He laughed and shook his head, "You're beautiful, you know that?" He held on to her and grinned. "So it was okay," he mused. "I'll have to do better then.. you know practice makes perfect, and I'm a perfectionist at heart, but it was only foreplay I suppose..."

"You're crazy, you know that?" Caly huffed softly and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "It was much more than okay..." she told him, whispering quietly. Her face and neck were still beet red. "I think I felt it in my toes..." she confided and then blinked. "Wait... Foreplay?"

"Yeah... foreplay... the things you do before you have the sex thing." He cast a sidelong look at her, "You do know about that right? We just played around a bit...you are technically still a virgin... right?"

Caly blinked and looked at him. If anything she got even more red. "Uuhhh.... Yeah... I think... I mean... Okay, so I didn't really pay attention in that class. I had more important things to do," she defended herself. "I don't remember anything about the things you do before sex... Well, except for precautions and stuff... But I didn't really even pay attention to that cause I never thought it'd come up..." She huffed lightly and gave him a sidelong look. "I don't believe I'm having this conversation.... I mean.. I'm a scientist... an engineer... And I'm thirty-four years old...."

"Your mother... she didn't...enlighten you?" Jurell was amazed. "Perhaps you should access some schematics and design specs..." he grinned and kissed her. "Or I could just show you..." he added mischievously.

"My mother handed me the "How Babies Are Made" book when I was ten and told me to read it. I think I got half way through it before tossing it aside and going back to "Computational Principles of Mobile Robotics". That one was a lot more fun to read, let me tell-- Wait... They have schematics and design specs for it?" she blinked and looked at him. "What do you mean, 'show me'?"

"Well," he kissed her lips softly, "I could show you.. again... just to make sure..." his hand brushed her cheek and then softly cupped her full breast.

"To make sure?" she shivered at the caress when it turned intimate, her back arching and pressing into his touch. Her soft gasp bloomed into a deep moan when his lips found her heated flesh. "I... I have a spoon..." she reminded him inanely. And indeed, the spoon was clenched in the fingers of one hand.

"That's a very small threat..." he murmured as he pushed her back to the bed gently, planting succulent kisses on her sensitive breasts. "I love the feel of your skin." He started kissing his way down her body, taking it slowly. "I'm seriously addicted to you, girl," he said as he kissed her between each word.

"I don't know how to use it anyway..." she assured him, and then all thoughts fled from her at his caress. She was so sensitive and his touch had her arching her back and groaning deeply. The spoon was totally forgotten as it slipped from her fingers so she could grasp hold of his shoulders. "Good gods... This is worse than your kisses," she accused him. She was at a loss, unsure what to do. Her hands finally just began to move on their own.

He took his time, warming her, caressing her, kissing tenderly, biting softly, his caresses building in intensity resolutely and showing her what her body was capable of in it's responses to a devoted lover. And she was so very responsive to him. Every kiss, every caress, every bite had her moaning with pleasure and her hands alternately stroking and clinging to him. Her emotions ran the gambit. All the way from achingly tender, to tears, to begging for him to put her out of the achingly sweet misery she was in.

He took her to the edge several times, building the frustration, but also the excitement, until she was totally lost in sensation. Jurell loved her deeply and passionately with his caresses, until once more she fell into oblivion.

It left her panting for breath and her heart beating so loudly it was the only thing she could hear. She clung to him desperately as small, whimpering breathes escaped her. Tiny tremors of aftermath gripped her body and she buried her face against his neck, nuzzling him and filling her senses with his scent.

"Show me what to do," she asked softly, her teeth finding the tender skin of his throat. "I don't have any idea what I'm suppose to do...."

---

"Playing Favorites"

By: Lyrr Tayla
Benedict T'Kal

Location: Lyrr and Ben's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 01h25

***

Benedict stepped into the quarters he shared with Lyrr Tayla and heard the shower going. It was late and he was tired and so he replicated a pot of tea and sat at the low black-lacquered table in the centre of their living space and poured himself a cup. The green tea was aromatic and he took great satisfaction from the first sip.

After a few minutes he looked toward the fresher and smiled. Getting up he began undressing as he walked across to the alcove. What he saw when he peered in was Lyrr Tayla curled in a tight ball, dressed in her pyjamas and being rained on by cold water. Her arms covered her face.

Panic was the first impulse that shot through him, and he ordered the computer to turn off the water as he stepped in and tried uncovering her face. "Tay, what's wrong?" His tiredness had vanished with the adrenaline and he gently tried to lift her face up to look at him.

She flinched away from him, turning into the wall, and tightened her sheltering arms around herself. Her body shook badly. "I just...need some time," she forced out, teeth chattering audibly. "Just...don't look at me."

He heard the broken sound in her voice and he shook his head. "You're freezing cold," he said as he felt the fabric of her PJs. He reached around her and scooped her up into his arms. "We have to get you dry and warmed up," he said worriedly. It was after 0100hrs and the first thing that came to mind was her nightmares. She seemed to have them when she was alone, although it hadn't been this bad in a long time. He carried her out of the fresher and over to the chair, dripping water as they went.

Now clinging to him instead of pushing Ben away, Lyrr refused to release him once she was set down onto the seat. Blue-tinged fingertips whitened as her grip on his pant legs tightened, and her pale cheek flattened to his abdomen as she continued embracing him. "I just needed to forget," she murmured. "And you weren't here...I didn't know what else to do."

He nodded, and business-like, he unbuttoned her sodden top. "Let me get these wet things off you first, come on." He spoke gently and kissed her brow. "I've made some tea, and we'll get warmed up...okay?" He tilted her head up so that he could see her eyes. "Dreams again?" he asked as he slid the top off her shoulders.

She blinked slowly, and nodded. "More...memory than dream, though." Lyrr's damp skin caused her clothing to adhere, making removal of her shorts, next, difficult. She rose at Ben's bidding and stood trembling as he rolled them over her waist, then let them drop to her feet in one entwined tangle. Sighing weakly, she sought Ben's embrace for warmth. "I was a stupid little girl," she told him. "So stupid and blind."

He held her tightly and then lifted her easily. "It was a long time ago, and you aren't the same girl as you were back then," he said softly. He pulled her face into the crook of his neck and walked her to their bed. The covers were tangled and thrown back and so he placed her down and pulled the covers over her. "I'll get some tea...and a warm towel. We'll get that hair dry." He brushed a strand of wet hair from her cheek and smiled encouragingly. "That was an old life, Tay, you've been reborn into another one." He kissed her lips softly, tenderly, before standing and fetching the tea and a warm towel from the replicator.

She pulled her knees up to her chin and wreathed her arms around them to contain what little heat she'd acquired from Ben. Staring distantly at the swell of her feet beneath the sheets, Lyrr bit her quivering lip to suppress a sob. She lowered her forehead to her knees and wondered at the significance of her dream, especially now when she had thought Oresh long gone. It wasn't difficult to pinpoint what had changed since she and Ben first made love, and Oresh had first disappeared: Tebrianne Bancroft and Ben's reaction to her. Turning her head onto its side, she watched Ben at the replicator. "Oresh always used to say I-- I was his favourite." She swallowed hard. "He always had more than one...but I never believed it."

Benedict came back to her and sat on the bed, wrapping the hot towel around her head and drying her hair. It was such an ordinary thing to do, as if she was incapable of doing it herself. He lifted it away and her hair looked all spiky and ruffled. "There, that's better." He smiled, intentionally ignoring the remarks about the Cardassian slaver. He took up the tea and poured her a cup of the refreshing brew. He offered it as he always did, Japanese fashion. He gazed into her eyes as she took it. "You'll feel better, Love," he said as he cupped her cheek. "It'll warm you up."

She watched the steam rising from the cup sceptically. "Can it really stave off the chill that runs far deeper than skin and bone?" she whispered. "I was so in love with him, Ben...so much so, that I couldn't see what should have been so plain to me." Her dark eyes looked through the haze of vapour, studying him severely. "He led me to believe he loved me...and maybe a little, he believed he did, but there were always others and even if he couldn't be with them while he was with me...they were always there, in his thoughts, and desires...." Lyrr smiled ruefully. "I saw how you looked at her, just as I saw the way Oresh leered at all the others. He always lied about it, promised I was the only one...just like you have. And now...I don't know whether I'm being stupid and blind again, or if I'm seeing things that aren't there." She reached up to grasp Ben's hand and squeezed it until her own shook. "Do you see her in my eyes when you look at me?" she rasped. "Is that why you can't tear your gaze from her whenever she's in the room?"

The immediate anger he felt as she compared him to Oresh flashed in his eyes. "I do not keep women as slaves, nor do I have a harem to sate my desires." His words were hard edged with his anger and he snatched his hand away from hers to stand. "How dare you compare me with him. I loved Tebrianne before I met you, and I can't say that I don't feel for her now. I do. But dammit, Tayla, don't you ever say that I'm like him! I love you. You're not a sixteen year old impressionable girl that I can lie to like he did. You're not the only woman I love, but you are the only woman I'm with. I thought she had died, Tayla, or I'd still be waiting for her! I met you instead and I'm in love with you. How else can I prove it to you?" he asked harshly. "If I loved you less I'd be with Tebrianne! I chose you - and when I look at you I see you!" He clenched his jaw hard, staring at her. "Do you see him when you look at me?"

"No," she answered quietly, averting her eyes from his angry stare to the green-tinted liquid. "I see only you," Lyrr explained, "and then I see the sadness when she enters a room...and I hate that. That's the last thing I want for you, Ben, and I just worry that when she leaves...." Lyrr sighed and cradled the cup firmly with the threat of crushing it in her grip. "I pined for Oresh, I wanted to go with him.... You lost her once, Ben, and when the time comes for her to go, will you be so willing to lose her all over again? No matter how much you love me, or how devoted you say you are, sometimes our hearts have other ideas...."

Benedict's anger ebbed, though he still remained standing. "How do you think I feel?" he asked. "My dead fiancée just showed up in the most unlikely of places. Someone that I loved more than my own life was taken from me and I lived for five years in the shadow of that loss, and then it came time to move on with my life and I met you, and fell hopelessly in love with you. When I look at her I feel everything that she's feeling, Tayla. I'm blood bonded to her still. I actually feel her despair at seeing us together. I experience her grief that I'm in love with someone else and that she hung on for years in a living hell, hoping that I would rescue her from it, only to find that her hope was in vain! I love her, Tayla, I love the woman she was, and I still see that when I look at her. I can't help it. The fact is, we've both changed. I can't take it back. I can't rewind time. I can't just stop loving her memory, and I can't stop loving you either!"

"And are you happy?" she asked. Lyrr set aside the tea, then slipped off the bed to stand before him and lay both hands lightly upon his chest. She gazed up at him with saddened eyes. "Are you happy with the way things are? I just worry that you aren't...that this conflict going on inside you is preventing you from being so." Her voice broke, and Lyrr's eyes quickly washed over with tears. "I just want you happy, Ben," she whispered. "I don't want you stealing just a quick glance in her direction because you're afraid I'll see. I want you to...to talk with her, or do things with her if that's what it takes to end this sadness I see in you. I don't want you to resent me or what we have because you couldn't have it with her while there was still time." She sobbed quietly. "I just don't want to keep wondering, if you'd had the chance, would you have discovered that you two aren't as different as you think you are now...and that you could love each other like before? But if that happens," she wondered tearfully, "what will become of me?"

He held her then, and stared at the wall with tears in his own eyes. "I'm not happy, Tay, because this wound is fresh and still bleeding. I'm sad because life isn't fair and she suffers so much. But I've suffered for a long time already, and I don't want to suffer any more." He looked down into her eyes and placed his hands on her cheeks. "I can't resent you, and can't be with her. I let her go, Tayla, whatever the circumstance was, I made the choice to move on with my life. I found you, and you gave me reason to live. I'd stopped really living for such a long time, and you brought love back into my life. I chose you. Give it time, and perhaps we could be friends, Tebrianne and I. But I can't be her lover. Not anymore." He bent and kissed her lips, and drew her closer. She was still chilled.

Her sobs coupled with the intensity of the kiss they shared made breathing difficult, but she fed from him greedily, desperately, and clutched his back unyieldingly. His warmth permeated her bare flesh, though the desire he roused lent far more heat than his touch. She gasped for air as she dragged her lips from his, across his cheek and down to his shoulder. Lyrr embraced him tightly. "Please don't leave me," she whispered, reminiscent of the entreaty she once made to Oresh. Her burning lips followed the line of his clavicle and settled in the hollow of his neck, and between them there was nothing but seamlessly joined flesh. "Don't leave me," she murmured again.

"I won't, Tala," he breathed into her ear, the Bajoran for kitten as he kissed her neck and held her as tightly as she held him. He lifted her in his arms and hers snaked around his neck as she wrapped her long legs around his waist. He kissed her again, letting her take her own weight as she clung to him, so that his hands gripped her back and her tangled hair. It was more desperation in the kiss, a way to banish both of their nightmares as he carried her back to the bed.

As he laid her down and drew his lips barely away from hers, he stared into her eyes. "I won't leave you, Tay. I promise you." He brushed his lips over hers and in a whisper he added, "I belong to you," and kissed her softly, lovingly as they melted together.

In that moment, she glimpsed at the power such declarations infused a person with, much as they must have when she spoke them to Oresh. For once, she could identify with her Cardassian tormentor, and for once, she was no longer a slave. Ben was right, for a slave held no property; Lyrr did, and it was Ben - his heart, his devotion, his soul that she had secured. She was more Oresh than she had ever seen Ben become when intercourse became his tool for placating her, just as it was Oresh's.

On the other hand, though, a part of that sixteen year old girl still remained, feeding off Ben's professions of love, and doing and saying anything to receive them, something Oresh had instilled in her. All those nights spent in his bed, listening to the lies she had so naively believed, planted that knowledge into her mind. In that respect, she was somewhat indebted to Oresh, for it offered Lyrr something valuable from her suffering: understanding of what it took to possess another through manipulation, to possess Ben fully and always. The techniques she had learned in his care, as well, helped monumentally, for the louder Ben cried out, the stronger her hold on him became. A powerful tool sex was indeed...though the thoughts didn't last long before Lyrr grew nauseous at having considered them at all.

She closed her eyes and tried to banish the corrupt ideas filling her head by focusing on the love Ben was bestowing upon her, the love they should have been sharing through their joined bodies, embracing lips and tangled limbs. Lyrr whimpered quietly and buried her face into his shoulder, her apology lost against the muscle and flesh she kissed. As long as Teb remained, she would feel threatened and continue to be tormented by her insecurities, and those always led to the past resurfacing. She and Ben wouldn't last long if that happened, though Tebrianne likely wouldn't complain....

---

"Digging Deep, Part 1"
By: Commander Lyrr Tayla
Lt. Brennyn Scott

Location: Counsellor Scott's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 02h45

***

No longer shivering from the chilling shower she'd undergone, especially with Ben's embrace generating warmth, Lyrr still trembled from the after-effects of her nightmare. The visions resonated in her mind and body despite her attempts at banishing the memories. And now she was walking, wandering through the corridors quickly, as if determined to reach her destination, but truly not knowing where she was headed.

She had to escape before Ben awoke, before he witnessed his failure to truly comfort her. They had achieved much progress over the past month, and to disappoint him now when he was suffering through much himself was selfish of Lyrr. She wanted their relationship to be the one thing he need not worry about, so bearing it on her own was her responsibility, and as a responsibility to the Sulu's crew, she obligated herself to seek out Counsellor Scott. Lyrr was in no shape to help command a ship while tormented by visions of her past, and Matt needed her more than ever now - everyone did.

Halfway to Bree's quarters, Lyrr nearly turned back at the thought of the counsellor rejoicing over her victory - she could finally say the commander had come crawling to her for help - but there was no place for pride now, not when she was on the verge of reverting to the broken 16 year-old girl Oresh had created. All her labouring over the years to shed that past would be undone, and Lyrr certainly hated failure.

Striding with purpose now, Lyrr reached Scott's door, though she did still look around to ensure no one was there to witness her arrival. With a firm tap, she activated Scott's door chime, realizing then how unsteady her hands truly were. She clasped them behind her back to hide that fact.

It took several attempts before Brennyn was roused from her sound sleep. As was usually the case, Scott could not remember what she had been dreaming about, but judging on how groggy she was, it had to have been a pleasant experience. "What could someone possibly want from me at this hour and why the hell didn't they comm me?" Scott muttered.

She was still tying her robe closed when she hit the panel to open her doors to her visitor. She looked up and barely contained her surprise. "Tayla, what brings you here at this hour? Is something wrong with Ben or another...?"

"No, not Ben," she answered slowly. "It's--" Clearing her throat, she waved a hand towards Brennyn's quarters. "May we?"

Brennyn raised a palm to her forehead. "Oh of course, forgive me. Please, come in and make yourself comfortable." She stepped aside. "Can I get you something?"

Lyrr shook her head as she made her way inside. She'd only seen the interior of the counsellor's quarters once, under less than pleasant circumstances. Then, she was attempting to hide the truth of her past, but now she was seeking out the counsellor to help her bury it. "I'm sorry to have woken you," Lyrr said, finding a seat on the sofa. "I...there's something we need to speak about."

Brennyn Scott could see the XO was truly apprehensive and for once was not sure how to proceed. She took a seat across from Lyrr, and curled her legs under her chin, interlacing her hands in front of her. "What's on your mind, Tayla?"

She chuckled wryly. "A lot - things I'd rather weren't there, actually. I...I had a dream tonight, and it...unsettled me." Clearing her throat, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. The counsellor would definitely be claiming victory now. "I know you know about my past," she explained. "But I also know you haven't heard the half of it. Really...Ben hasn't either. I...ran into trouble during the Occupation and had some...things happen to me."

It was clear she was growing agitated, judging by the manner in which she was scrubbing at her hair with one hand briskly. Her entire body was tense, coiled and ready to spring from her chair and straight out of Bree's quarters. Lyrr chuckled dryly, almost embarrassed, and waved dismissively at the entire situation before slapping her hand down upon the armrest and unfolding from the seat abruptly. "I'm sorry... I disturbed you. I should go."

"Tayla," Bree called out firmly before Lyrr had made it half-way to the door. "While I'm sure you feel badly for interrupting my slumber, I also know that were this a matter of crew morale or operational efficiency, you wouldn't hesitate to yank me out of a sound sleep in the middle of my favorite dream about an Italian diplomat on a three-day pass. Now, I find it difficult that you cannot give yourself the same priority, seeing as how you are a member of this crew...and I'd like to think, my friend..."

Scott let her words hang for a moment, before adding finally, "Please, Tayla... Talk to me."

"But I don't know what to say," she whispered, staring at the door and clutching the sleeve of each arm in the opposite hand as they crossed one another. Lyrr exhaled heavily. "I don't want to live like this anymore, Counsellor. I can't."

"Live like what?" Bree asked quietly. "Tell me what you mean." Scott hoped the answer would serve to clarify Lyrr's reasons for coming and help to solidify her resolve. As much as Bree wanted to help, she knew Tayla had to be the one to find the motivation.

It was a long moment of silence and waiting before Lyrr shifted around to face Brennyn, and by then she was complacent and weary of resisting. Chuckling weakly, she trudged to the nearest chair and dropped into it, creating a slumped posture that was uncharacteristic of the usually stiff and uptight Lyrr Tayla. She was still smiling ruefully as she stared past Bree with unseeing eyes. "Ben knows about all of this...but what he doesn't really know," she said quietly, "is that I'm not better, not as I've led him to believe. My past...it still haunts me as strongly as ever, and it's just become worse since Ms. Bancroft appeared."

"Because she's created doubts in your own mind?" Scott offered.

Lyrr sighed pensively. "I think...she just helped to illuminate the doubts that already existed, but which I was determined to ignore. I...I knew I wasn't ready to enter into a relationship of the kind Ben and I have." She smiled wanly and shook her head. "I was always so resistant about getting close to another again because I knew what happened to me, and I knew I wasn't stable enough to be with someone. But...." Lyrr wrapped her arms around herself, only enhancing her shrunken, defeated appearance. It was only by sheer strength of will that she didn't crumble entirely. "I do love him, Counsellor," she whispered. "I just...I don't deal well with competition. And I hate feeling so jealous and threatened...but it's all I know."

Scott nodded. "And we act on what we know. The question is, are you ready to change that, and are you ready to confront those experiences that gave you that knowledge?"

"Of course," Lyrr replied sharply, some of her edge returning but slightly blunted by her subdued state. "I just.... This time, as with then, I think I have reason to be jealous, but that wouldn't be so bad if I weren't afraid of what I might do because of that. With the other man...I was prepared to kill for his undivided love and attention. I can't afford such thoughts now."

"Perhaps you should start by telling me more about your past during the Occupation and these things that have happened to you that you can't talk to Ben about. Do they have something to do with your nightmare?"

"They're not nightmares," Lyrr whispered. Her hands gripped the fabric of her pants over her thighs, causing them to tremble. "They're memories of my past. Memories of a man I thought I loved...a man who hurt me, but to whom I was so devoted that I couldn't recognize his cruelty for what it was. I was just a girl...and he changed me forever." Haltingly and nearly losing her resolve many times, Lyrr recounted the tale that should have been too disturbing to be true. Through it all, though, she neglected to give her tormentor a name, preserving a single shred of intimacy between she and Oresh that she was hesitant to abandon. Still she was that little girl, keeping him only to herself.

When all had been confessed, Lyrr exhaled deeply and seemed to sink further into the chair. Her head was down and her eyes lowered in utter despair. "So...there it is," she whispered. "And the fact is...no matter what he did, if I were to see him right now, I don't think I could hate him."

Bree left the couch and took the seat directly across from her. She was not going to let physical distance allow Lyrr to hide. As Tayla recounted the details from her initial capture and torture, Bree couldn't help but compare Ben's emotional, albeit limited, recitation a long time ago to Lyrr's present, detailed and yet flat account. It was clear the thoughts that accompanied her memories were just as painful, but it was as if the words were simply stuck in her throat. It had been a long time, but it was clear to Bree that the barriers she sensed were consciously erected. Not discussing the emotions made saying the words possible.

Compassion flooded Brennyn Scott, and rather than feel a sense of pity like she guessed Lyrr feared, Bree only felt more respect for the strong woman that had emerged. In that practiced, objective manner, she asked, "Do you want to hate Oresh, Tayla?"

"I do," she answered flatly. "But...there really is no point to it now. What good would it do me? Besides," she added, "he wasn't always cruel to me. I don't believe he was truly evil...it would just feel wrong to hate him."

"But you want to...why?"

"Because of all the confusion he's caused me," she answered. "Because I can't forget him."

"And because he hurt you?" Scott was trying to tap into the pain and the anger she obviously felt but was unwilling to acknowledge. In her mind, Lyrr was still justifying what he had done...as if...as if she were to blame.

Lyrr mulled over the question, then raised her head to look directly at the counsellor. "I hurt myself," she answered. "I believed him, his promises.... I'm to blame for that."

"No, Tayla," Bree corrected firmly. "You believed him because you needed to believe him and he exploited that need. You weren't responsible for the beatings, the rapes, none of it."

She chuckled wryly, an attempt to defuse her anger. "He did not rape me," Lyrr told her firmly. "At first, of course, but the rest of the time it...it wasn't. Most of the time, I initiated! You can't call that rape, Counsellor."

"I can," Bree answered quietly, "when a sixteen year old girl is captured by her people's enemy and then beaten and forced to service him whenever and however he pleased. You can't tell me you initiated that... Sex was his way of controlling you, and from that point forward, you did what you needed to survive. Sex...being touched in those ways can feel good, and even during a rape your body can react in ways that are confusing to someone, especially a young girl. He might have even said you were enjoying it just so you wouldn't feel it was wrong. You wanted to feel safe and protected. Complying with him, caring for him, that kept you safe and alive, Tayla."

"It kept me happy," she whispered hoarsely. "With Oresh, I was happy." Lyrr chuckled faintly and dropped her forehead into one hand as she closed her eyes. "It was so simple, then. All my life consisted of was pleasing him, suffering a few beatings...but I was fed and clothed, and happy. Now...things are so complicated. Ben and I...our relationship was strained the moment Tebrianne came aboard...and until she leaves we won't be able to fix things. And it's moments like these that make me wish...almost...that I could be back there with Oresh, that I could return to that life of simplicity." Glancing up at Bree from beneath her lashes, Lyrr admitted, "Rape or not...I was content."

---

"Digging Deep, Part 2"
By: Commander Lyrr Tayla
Lt. Brennyn Scott

Location: Counsellor Scott's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 03h05

***

"I'm confused, Tayla," replied Scott, frowning. "If you spent your time pleasing him, why did you have to suffer any further beatings?"

"Because he couldn't afford any loose ends," Lyrr explained snidely, still defending the brutal Cardassian. "If he let them treat me badly, the others would see that I was unimportant to him and I wouldn't be his one weakness. He did it for his career and for my safety."

"And were you safe when others beat you, Tayla? Were the others as gentle with you as Oresh wanted to be?"

"Of course not," she answered harshly, unappreciative of the counsellor's pestering. "They were Cardassians. It's in their nature to be vicious."

"Oresh is a Cardassian. Was it in his nature to be vicious and manipulative?"

Lyrr sighed, her voice growing shaky. "But he wasn't," she whispered. "He...he always treated me kindly. He promised to take me with him and we'd...we'd...." Her body quivered visibly and Lyrr hid her face in both hands. She refused to cry, but the tears were forcing their way to the surface. "I would've given him anything," she rasped. "If only.... Why wasn't I the only one?"

Bree leaned forward, straining to hear the words that were clearly so difficult for Lyrr to say. "Because, Tayla," Bree answered gently. "You didn't have to be. He was in control. Oresh could do what he wanted to each one of you, say whatever he wanted to each one of you, and who was going to stop him? And as painful as it is for you to think about, he didn't always treat you kindly, did he?"

She took a deep breath to collect herself, and raised her head without a trace of tears visible. "He may not have," she admitted, "but I didn't mind, not then. I just assumed that if I could take what he did to me...I would make him proud." Her chuckle was weak and devoid of vigor. "I don't even know why it meant that much to me. It's not as if he was something desirable to look at."

Scott steepled her fingers in front of her and smiled lightly at the admission. "Tayla, do you know how incredibly courageous you are? After all you had been through, I imagine you didn't want to give him the satisfaction. That was ok then. But now...do you realize that what he did...you weren't always willing, and that the reward was one-sided?"

"But how do I know," she whispered, "that I wasn't really enjoying it?"

Scott fought to reign in the compassion that came over her. "Enjoying what? The times when he raped you?"

Lyrr curled her fingers tightly through her hair and leaned her elbows on both knees. Her head remained lowered, so it was difficult to tell if her body was shaking out of laughter, or grief. When she spoke, it was obviously frustration. "I don't even know if it was rape," she told her firmly. "It couldn't have been, not all the time! How could I have gained pleasure from something so violent?" Her head snapped up and she sneered at Scott. "Are you saying I'm that disgusting, Counsellor?"

"Absolutely not," Bree stated firmly. "What I want you to understand is that sex, and that kind of touch, is inherently pleasurable. Our bodies respond to those things physiologically in the same ways, regardless of whether we've given consent to the other person or not. What you felt, Tay, was normal. It was never under your control. Oresh may have told you that you enjoyed it and wanted it based on what he was able to elicit from your body. That's manipulation to confuse you further."

"Then how do I know what's real?" she shouted, nearly leaping out of her chair. "How do I know that what I feel for Ben is real, then? Maybe it just feels good!"

Bree knew it was great that Lyrr was getting angry about this. Lord knew it was about time. "You know if your relationship consists of more than sex and beatings. When you make love with Ben, are you doing what will please him, or are you doing what will please both of you?"

"I don't know," she answered snarkily. "It's not exactly an analytical exercise, Counsellor. I just...do, I don't think about every moment of it."

Bree knew she had to get point blank. "Does Ben ask you to stimulate him, or do you just do it?"

Lyrr flushed, though with her averted gaze, it was clear she was more embarrassed than angry. "He doesn't need to ask," she answered tightly. "And I don't need to ask him."

"Why not? Why do you just do it? Maybe he'd like something else, maybe you want to think about doing something else?"

"I don't know, he's never asked!" she snapped. Her sharp gaze cut to the counsellor again. "Why is this even important?"

"Because, Tayla," Scott replied calmly. "Intimacy, including sexual intimacy, requires communication. Two people have to, and have the right to have their needs met equally. If you're acting out of a need to please someone else all the time, and not giving a thought to your own needs and desires, how can your relationship be mutual and consensual? Tell me, did Oresh ever demand that you stimulate him?"

She formed a quivering smile that threatened to regress into a frown. "At first...but after a while it became...automatic. With Ben, it's always been automatic. I just...know what I'm supposed to do."

Bree nodded. "Old habits are hard to break, Tayla, but you're not supposed to do anything with Ben. He's not expecting that from you, is he?"

"No," she whispered. Her hand quickly brushed at her cheek to catch a tear before Bree could see it. "But...how else am I supposed to keep him?"

"Oh, sweetie," Brennyn breathed softly. "Ben isn't going to leave you or hurt you if you don't please him sexually. Is that what happened if you didn't do what Oresh wanted? He would hurt you?"

She laughed bitterly. "I knew not to displease him, so I always tried to do what he wanted. He had back-ups if I didn't satisfy him. Ben has plenty of those too."

"You believe Ben is sleeping with Tebrianne?"

Lyrr looked away and licked her lips slowly as she deliberated. "No," she answered finally. "He said he wasn't. But I know he still loves her, and that worries me. I've had doubts lately, and I was stupid enough to express them to him." She chuckled tearfully. "I'm just driving him to her."

Bree could hear she was on the verge of tears and moved beside her. "Why do you think expressing your doubts is stupid?"

"Because he doesn't appreciate it," she answered. "It...it makes him angry. If he gets fed-up enough...what's to stop him from running to Ms. Bancroft?"

"Nothing," she answered honestly. "Does he tell you why he gets angry about it?"

She did weep this time, though the sobs were mingled with laughter. "Because I compare him to Oresh. Because that Cardassian bastard is always on my mind...and I think it's because I miss him that I can't fully move on and devote myself to Ben." Lyrr shook her head at Bree and wondered, "How could I miss someone like that? How could I still yearn for him?"

"Because in your way you loved him, Tayla, and you believed he loved you. What you had with Oresh, your responses, were conditioned and predictable. It was the only experience you had, and if he was telling you it was love and a relationship, like you said, how were you to know any differently? He made you feel special and loved at times, and you clung to that because it was what you needed to do to survive and to make sense of an incredibly humiliating situation."

Scott walked over to Lyrr, placing both hands on her shoulders. "Tayla, you're one of the bravest people I know, and no matter what you tell me, I'll think you nothing but brave."

"What do I care about that?" she chuckled wryly, thickly. "I may be brave, but I'm stupid. What good does that do me?" Lyrr shook her head and gently pushed one of Scott's hands away to give herself room for escape. She lurched from the sofa and shouldered past Bree unsteadily. "I have to go.... Ben will wonder where I've gone." But she didn't make it to the door. Instead, she staggered to a halt by Brennyn's table and dropped one hand down upon it for support. She clenched both eyes shut to battle her raging emotions. "I can't," she whispered. "I need-- I have to move past this."

"It can't be done overnight," Bree replied to Lyrr's retreating back. "But perhaps you can start by telling me about the dream that had you so upset."

"The dream?" Lyrr sighed raggedly as she slid out one chair and slumped down onto it. Her hands fell limply onto her lap and she regarded them woefully. "It was just Oresh and I...a typical night with him. I...I pleasured him, he dominated me...and I loved it."

"What was it about this dream that brought you to my door. I'm assuming you've had others like it?"

"Not for a while," she confessed. "Ben was late coming back after shift tonight...and I was alone. The dreams...they usually come, then. But never like this. They're always frightening but this one..." Lyrr sucked in a staggering breath and her shoulders sank further. "This time...I enjoyed it, but afterwards I was sick to my stomach. I just don't know what it was, Counsellor. I just remember feeling apprehension and anxiety as I was lying in bed. I...I was worried about where things were between Ben and I, and with Ms. Bancroft..." Lyrr chuckled weakly. "I'd cried myself to sleep. And then...the dream."

Bree considered her words carefully before finally nodding. "It sounds to me like you were just trying to reassure yourself. You weren't feeling secure in your relationship with Ben, so in your dream you were recalling a time when you felt you were secure. Only now you're beginning to realize you don't want that kind of relationship and you're concerned you won't get it."

"Or maybe I'm just not confident in our relationship, period. People have said we're moving too fast...." Lyrr shook her head solemnly. "I just don't know."

"Tayla, you mentioned that Ben sometimes gets angry with you when you compare him to Oresh. Do you ever feel pressured by him to have sex? I'm not asking about what he does, I'm just asking you how you feel."

Lyrr pressed the heel of her palms into her eyes and exhaled deeply. "At times...maybe," she answered quietly. "It's the best way I know how to keep him happy, to secure him for myself." Lyrr lowered her hands, revealing her eyes and offering the counsellor a glimpse into the depth of her shame and grief. "It's all I know, Counsellor."

"It's all you know right now," Bree answered firmly. "But you can learn other ways, Tayla, I can help you if this is something you want. You've done nothing wrong."

She smiled weakly. "Then why did I lose him?" she whispered. "And why do I feel like I'm losing Ben, too?"

"Oresh was using you, and Ben doesn't understand, but I don't think he would blame you, and if he did, he's insensitive and misinformed."

Lyrr lifted an eyebrow at the counsellor. "You're very forward, aren't you?" Then she chuckled mildly. "And...probably right, too. I mean...I know all this...I just don't know how to make myself believe it."

Bree shared the chuckle with Lyrr, and regarded her for a moment. "You can't undo over ten years of conditioning overnight, but we can work on it. One of the things I'd like to see happen is for you to give yourself credit for what you have accomplished. It's alright to need help now and then, and I will never judge you for anything that happened in your past."

Lyrr bowed her head at the counsellor in gratitude. "I need to go," she told her, rising. "And I promise next time, I'll make an appointment if I require one."

Bree smiled. "I'd like to see you early next week. If I don't notice you on the schedule, I'll send you a subtle reminder. And Tayla," Scott added as Lyrr was turning to go, "Thank you."

She looked down pensively, but couldn't comprehend why she was deserving of gratitude. "And why is that, Counsellor?"

"You could have kept all of this to yourself and suffered alone, but you didn't. You came to me. I know it wasn't easy, and I appreciate the fact that you reached out, that's all."

Lyrr shrugged. "Just a product of circumstance, Counsellor. I have no one else to turn to." And with head forward she hurried from the counsellor's quarters.

---

"Not Another Shower Scene!"
By: CPO Calyca Boothroyd
Crewman First Class Sorg Jurell

Location: USS Sulu, Boothroyd's Quarters
Stardate: 57910.27, 03h30

***

"Sexy? Good gods Jurell... You are dreaming," she laughed and gazed down at him. "I know you'll never let me fall.... I have this damned blind faith in you for some odd reason that I can't explain," she admitted. Her lips grazed his cheek and sought out his. She stopped the moment before claiming them to gaze deep in the azure pools that gazed up at her. Her lashes were spiky and there were droplets of water clinging to them. It made her eyes look like two forest pools drenched in the morning dew.

His gaze was riveted on her, unable for the moment to even breathe. She was an angel, a vision of beauty that he knew he would always remember her in this moment for the rest of his life. Her full lips were slightly parted with a ghost of a smile, her doe eyes were twin pools of green with long dark lashes that captured his heart and soul whenever they turned his way. Her red hair darkened by the water but curled enough to hold droplets that sparkled in the light as if she wore a diadem of diamonds. She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen in that one moment between heart beats, he was awed by the knowledge that she belonged to him in body and soul. This wonderful, beautiful, exciting, girl belonged to him; Sorg Jurell. His heart ached, it flipped over, and he just stared up at her helpless. She had bewitched him, and her spell was powerful, irresistible and immutable. Their connection once again showed itself, as if their hearts beat at exactly the same moment and his next breath was perfectly in sync with hers.

And she felt it; that connection between them. It was a tangible thing that didn't come as some quiet feeling that snuck in without her knowing; but charged in like a bull with nostrils flaring and snorting in challenge, daring her to deny it, daring her to turn away from it. She was helpless in the face of the raw power of that connection as it throbbed between them, and she wouldn't change it even if she could.

His eyes drew her in and her heart swelled with feeling for him. "J-Jurell..." His name was a broken caress that throbbed with emotion. She was breathless and her heart was pounding in her chest. "I feel you," she breathed against his lips, her own trembling with the powerful emotions coursing through them. It was like a wave that surged from one to the other, seeking out the ideal level and pulling at both their cores. In that moment he was the most wonderfully fascinating and handsome thing she'd ever seen.

They were two made one in that long moment of aching desire and reawakened passion. Her lips were soft but as insistent as his as they shared the emotion of the moment. Jurell gave himself up to her as an offering of devotion. The kiss was a testament to a blossoming love that seemed now to be finally unshackled; all fear and timidity gone between them, they explored one another. It was a summation of their commitment. It was a new beginning. She gave him healing, surcease and succor with a freely given heart. He gave her strength and fulfillment and awakened her to the joy of being a woman in the arms of the man she loved.

She thought she was going to burst from the intense emotions that just seemed to carry them away. They were no longer Sorg Jurell and Calyca Boothroyd, no longer two totally separate beings. Caly literally felt her soul reach out to his and it had her clinging to him in fear and wonder as the two touched and she became hopelessly and irrevocably entwined with him. They would never be the same again and they would never be apart, no matter how much distance separated them. They knew each other on a level that couples only dream about.

She broke the kiss, gasping for breath and never moving her lips from his. "I need you," she rasped out and her body trembled helplessly in the haven of his arms. "Like I need the air to breathe, I need you..." It was a powerful realization on her part and one that came straight from her soul. "I'm yours, Jurell. I always have been... And I always will be. Always," she whispered heatedly. And it was in that moment that she knew without a doubt, that their lovemaking was simply a physical manifestation of the blending of their souls.

It was a moment of supreme desire and passion, yet making love could not hope to bring it to fruition. It was beyond a physical act. It was an emotional and spiritual union that surpassed any expectation, went beyond limitation and transported them to a place that was their own.

Jurell's reaction to her fervent commitment was a soul response. He knew he loved her, yet the sheer strength of his emotion was overwhelming. It rocked his world to its foundation and there were no words he could say from a throat constricted by emotion. Bajoran poetry was filled with Grand Passions, but to be in one; to experience it and be part of it; to be swept by the sheer force of its primal and majestic nature was breathtaking. It was so far beyond his experience and capacity to understand that all he could do was ride its' cresting wave with a joyous and triumphant heart. Saying I love you just didn't cover it!

Caly didn't know anything about Grand Passions. But what she did know was that this man held her soul in the palms of his hand. And This man had shown her, without a doubt, that she really did do relationships. Or rather, she did relationships with him. She had never felt so open, so exposed, and at the same time, so cherished and protected and safe as she did right this moment.

"You're mine, Jurell," she whispered fervently. "Mine, do you hear? And you've never... never ...been Shirik's." Territorial? Oh hell yeah. And possessive, and addressing the one thing that cast even a hint of shadow on their joined souls. "Mine".

"Always," he breathed. "I'll always be yours." He studied her gaze for a moment before saying, "No, I've never belonged to her. I've never belonged to any woman before you, and there will never be another."

Calyca stared into the depths of his eyes. Into that deep blue gaze of his that just held her spellbound and captivated and showed her everything she ever refused to see. It wiped away all her fears and had her letting her breath out in a soft huff. "Damn straight there won't, and damn straight you haven't," she murmured before claiming his lips in an achingly feather light and tender kiss. "I want you," she finally whispered against his lips, her desire for him in no way diminished by her admissions and realizations.

"You can have me," he whispered, and laughed a little, "but I'm going to have to put you down soon," he grinned. "Computer, sonic cycle," he intoned and the water stopped to be replaced by the vibrations of the sonic shower. He turned around with her and the vibrations rid them of the excess water that coated their skin. A few seconds and they were dry and he stepped out of the fresher and back to the bed. All the while they kissed, and giggled, knowing full well that sleep was still a long way off.

---

"Je t`aime"
By: CPO Calyca Boothroyd
Crewman First Class Sorg Jurell

Location: USS Sulu, Boothroyd's Quarters
Stardate: 57910.27, 04h00

***

There was nothing but them and his love surging into her. Deep in her gut something snapped and the return outpouring of love nearly blinded him. "Je t`aime.." The words reached his ears as no more than a heated breath washing over him. But he didn't need to hear because he felt it the moment her heart uttered it. The fact that she'd put a name to her feelings was leaving her more than a little breathless and in a mild state of shock. She loved him.

"That...was... incredible..." he panted, brushing her back with his hands.. "Prophets...."

Caly groaned and it was impossible for her to move. She grunted breathlessly in response to him. When she found her voice it was ragged and hoarse. "You killed me. I'm dead..."

He grinned and started to laugh. The waves of laughter rocked her and he looked down at her and met her eyes. "I think I'll have to go to sickbay," he chided. "You took chunks out of my neck. I can't go now though. I can't... I haven't the energy." He wrapped his arms around her. "That was... " he shook his head, "intense."

"Incredibly intense..." she agreed and smiled at him as her fingers lightly rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll kiss it and make it better," she teased and let out a soft huff of breath before pulling herself up enough so that she could nuzzle him. She was making small soft sounds that were as close to a purr as a human can make. "Je t`aime, Jurell," she murmured softly against his ear as she nuzzled it. "Je t`aime." Now that she found it. She wasn't sure she could stop saying it.

"Je t`aime?" he rolled the word around but didn't know the language, but in the way it was said, he knew it held significance. He stroked her dampened hair, threading his fingers through it as they lay together. It was such an intimate moment of being sated. Caly had uncovered a well hidden side to herself and he felt completely awash with amazement at it. She was passionate beyond his imaginings; more wild, more exciting.. he wondered for a moment whether he would survive hurricane Caly...and then grinned. He loved a challenge. His finger brushed her ear, tracing the curve and the lobe, as his other hand rested on the curve of her rear. "You know that I can never let you go," he whispered. "You belong to me now...as I belong to you. I love you, Calyca Boothroyd. I love you."

She nodded, her eyes wide and luminescent as she looked at him with wonder and adoration. She did know, and there was no going back for either of them now. "You know that I can never let you go..." she echoed his words, her heart swelling as she did. They'd crossed an impenetrable barrier and for better or worse they were irrevocably entwined together. "You belong to me now... As I belong to you... Je t`aime, Sorg Jurell... Je t`aime," she whispered back and then let out a soft huff of breath as she translated for him. "I love you."

He felt that world shift again as she put a name to her feelings. It didn't matter that he already knew, but it did matter that she knew herself. The acknowledgement had to be recognised, and he held her a little tighter as he drew her up and held her face between his palms. Her sea green eyes held no shadow, her lips slightly parted were inviting kisses just by their nature, but it was the adoration in her eyes that transfixed him. He held her gaze for a moment, and his smile was tender. "I love you," he whispered against her lips, "Beloved." and their lips touched. "I need you. I want you...always."

She watched his eyes, smiling at the knowing she saw there. He'd been infinitely patient with her, knowing how she felt and letting her find her own way there in her own time and encouraging her to feel okay doing that. She loved him all the more for it and it showed in the depths of her eyes. "And I, you, Aimé... Beloved," she whispered back and nuzzled his lips with her own. Hers were soft and warm, still swollen from his kisses, and achingly sweet as they brushed over his. "I adore you," her lips sealed the words to his in a feather-light kiss that came right up from her soul to spill over into him.

This was a magical time for them. A time so overwhelmingly intimate that it had cast a spell over them and cocooned them in a special place just for new lovers, a place where the outside world didn't intrude. It was just them, heart to heart, and soul to soul.

---

"Dream On"
By: CPO Calyca Boothroyd
Crewman First Class Sorg Jurell

Location: USS Sulu, Boothroyd's Quarters
Stardate: 57910.27, 05h00

***

Caly stood before the chamber that held Lyrr's grossly mutilated body. She wondered, in a detached kind of way, why they were keeping it alive. Was there more they wanted to learn? But how could they? What could possibly be left in the remaining portion of her skull that could supply them with anything worthwhile? She didn't think there could be even a fleeting hint of the Borg woman left now. It was just a shell, right? A shell of biological and mechanical parts they were maintaining for some perverse experimentation that only a warped mind could even understand let alone conceive.

As she watched, a muscle twitched on the woman's face and Caly took an involuntary step backwards. That was just an autonomic reaction, right? Like the jerking leg of a dead person. Calyca had pretty well convinced herself of that fact, and had begun to relax when Lyrr's eyes snapped open and she found herself staring into the brown gaze of her First Officer.

On the bed, Caly's body jerked against Jurell's as she tried to take another step back but found that her feet were rooted to the floor and she couldn't move. She cast her eyes downward only to find that a thick cord had snaked its way from the Borg woman, across the floor, and was even now encasing her legs in its paralyzing and mechanical grip. She tried to scream then, tried to force the sound out, but nothing more than a strangled noise escaped her. Her eyes flew back to Lyrr and the terror that gripped her throbbed in their green depths.

Lyrr smiled, and it was not a welcoming sight. The look on her face was one of the most evil and wicked things Caly had ever seen. It was a look that the petite engineer felt piercing deep into her belly and had her skin crawling with impending doom. And then the Borg woman's lips began to move....

"Isn't she magnificent?" Lyrr's voice proudly mimicked Branna's words. "We recovered a great deal of technological knowledge from her cortical node. Some of it helped us build the Gate."

Caly listened in horror, and then she heard her own words drip from Lyrr's lips, coming back to haunt her as the Borg female continued to mimic the conversation between her and Branna...

"You should be proud of yourself, doctor," Calyca had said, and it sounded sinister coming from Lyrr's mouth. "This is quite the research you've created and quite the accomplishment. Would you show me how it works?" In the background the sound of a woman's screams of pain and terror pierced the darkness as if on cue.

The sound brought a demented smile to Lyrr's lips and she lifted her arm and extended a hand towards Caly. The partially mechanized index finger pointed at the engineer and then rotated to make a single beckoning motion. Caly could feel her body sliding towards the menacing figure of her First Officer, and try as she might, she was unable to stop the distance from closing between them.

"Come, my dear..." Lyrr's voice was seductively sweet and cloying. Ichor dripped from the corner of her lips like a venom that Caly could feel clenching around her bowels. "And I will show you how it works...."

Jurell's eyes snapped open in the semi-darkness of Calyca's quarters and his senses were already wide awake. They had fallen asleep together, and Calyca was curled on her side with her back against the comforting warmth of his body. His arm had been draped around her waist to twine fingers with hers. Now though, the twitching of her body and articulate moan in her sleep had woken him.

She was dreaming; that was his first impression, but even as he came to that conclusion, she jerked fiercely against him and cried out loudly in fear. Jurell had to restrain her before she fell of the bed, his arm tightening in reflex. "Hey." He sat up as she did and automatically said, "Computer lights twenty percent," and the illumination though dim, was enough to see clearly. He shook her a little and saw her eyes seem to clear. "You were dreaming," he said.

"Oh gods...." Caly was shaking badly and she buried her face in her hands. "I... I couldn't move.... And t-then she opened her eyes and l-looked at me.... She s-started talking..." Her voice broke and she turned to him, burying her face against his chest as she gripped him tightly.

Instinctively he wrapped her in his arms and kissed her crown. "It's okay," he rubbed her back and could feel her heart still hammering against his chest. "It's okay - it was just a bad dream." He pulled her back down to the pillows, pulling her into his chest as he did so. "You're safe. We're home." His voice was soothing and his arms firmly enclosing her in a protective embrace.

"We d-destroyed the gate, right?" Her hands tightened their grip on him. "They can't rebuild it.... Can they?" The fear was blatantly obvious in the timbre of her voice.

"You blew it to hell, remember? Along with everyone who could rebuild it. They are all gone. Including that doctor. Dead and gone. Sucked into the Black Hole and never to be seen again." He spoke in a soothing whisper, almost crooning to her as he stroked her back and wrapped an arm around her neck. "You're with me now...safe and home."

"I don't remember," she admitted and it was clear in her tone that it frightened her a little that she didn't. "W-what about the ones we brought back with us?" She worried her bottom lip. "If some of them really are technicians...." her voice trailed off at the very thought.

"They aren't," he said with certainty. "Don't worry. There will never be another gate. We saw to that. We saved the Federation. When we get back we'll probably all get medals. We'll be famous - as famous as the Enterprise crew maybe." He kissed her brow and then softly he kissed her lips. "Sleep, Beloved. You need the rest."

"We would find a way to rebuild the gate and get back home if the positions were reversed..." she murmured and burrowed into the safe haven of his arms. "All they need is a Borg. And they have the technology to defeat them, you know.... I'm not sleepy."

"It took a galactic empire's resources to build it the first time," he whispered. "I doubt that they'd be eager to start again. Besides, all the boffins and technicians that built it were on the station. I'd say they lost most of their scientific resources and a massive amount of advanced technology. We're safe, baby. Don't worry." He placed his warm lips against her brow.

Caly sighed softly and relaxed against him, a warm hand moving to curl softly around his throat. "Okay, okay... So maybe they won't build a gate..." she admitted. "But that doesn't make us safe. We brought some of them back with us. I don't feel safe at all, Caro," she admitted.

"We'll get rid of them the first chance we get," he agreed. "We have to off-load them somewhere. The Brig will keep them safely locked away. T'Kal doubled the security guards in the Brig and set up a level ten force field around the cell area and covered it with transporter inhibitors. They aren't getting out. He gave specific instructions; if they even make a loud noise they get stunned. Security protocols are air tight. There's security in all of the transporter rooms and noone gets into the security area now. It's sealed off with force fields. I don't think the Commander is taking any chances at all. Every tactically important location on the ship has armed security. No one's taking the Sulu, Cal. No one." He kissed her brow again and pulled the covers over them both.

"Two of them are already out," she sighed heavily and wrapped her arms around him, sinking into his warmth and the actual safety she felt in his arms. "I just thank all the powers-that-be that we didn't wind up capturing Branna too, or I'm sure he'd be in VIP quarters being feted to help out in Sickbay cause we're short-handed. He was quite pleasant you know, charming really, not violent at all and just doing his job. I'm sure the people who tortured and maimed the Captain were just doing their jobs too. Gods I feel sick."

"Just don't think about it," he whispered. "No one's going to hurt you. Believe me...everything will be okay." He sighed softly as she lay in his arms. "Computer lights off," he commanded and the star-lit darkness returned. For a moment he watched the primitive dreamcatcher as it spun lazily beneath the air vent. "I'll keep you safe," he whispered against her ear.

"I know you will," she whispered back, her breath warm on his neck. "Je t`aime," she whispered. She hated that she felt vulnerable enough to want someone to keep her safe. It was a new and unwanted feeling. She slid her hands up his back and gripped his shoulders from behind, holding tightly to him.

"I can forget when I'm with you, Aimé," she confided in him. "For a while anyway. That's when it seems like everything that happened was just a dream, you know? And I'm convinced that I'll wake up and discover that it never really happened at all."

"Maybe we will...anything is possible," he smiled in the darkness. "Go to sleep, Beloved."

"M'not sleepy," she smothered a yawn against his throat in contradiction to her words. "You're bad for my sleeping habits," she accused softly. "Je t`aime, Jurell."

"I know," he whispered and stroked her back in a soothing rhythm. He lay awake for a while, just listening to her breathe as she drifted back to sleep. Her hand rested upon his chest and he could feel the warm metal links of the slender Betrothal bracelet. He smiled in the darkness. How could his life have changed so much in such a short time? If there was a meaning to Jurell's life, then it was in the beautiful woman that lay in his arms. He lazily rubbed her back, even though she was asleep, and every once in a while she would make a little noise and stir, and then drop back into sleep.

---

"A Dawning Awareness"
By: CPO Calyca Boothroyd, Engineering
Crewman 1st Class Sorg Jurell, Security

Location: USS Sulu, Boothroyd's Quarters
Stardate: 57910.27, 06h30

***

The first thing she became aware of was the warmth surrounding her, and she felt safe. Even through the vague residual fear left over from the nightmare she'd had, she felt safe.

The next thing she became aware of was the heady scent that surrounded her, and she felt secure. Even through the vague confusion that seemed to always be present when one first comes out of the 'night death', she felt secure.

The last thing she became aware of was the extra weight on her body that wasn't hers and the heated breath washing over her skin. She felt a moment of panic that her sucking in a breath, but it was quickly followed by a moment of realization. Even through that fleeting panic, the realization had her heart flipping over and her breath catching in her throat.

Her breath was a soft huff of exhale as she uttered his name... "Jurell..."

Her voice made him smile, and the slight constriction of his arm around her told Caly that he was already awake. He kissed her neck; a lingering kiss as he moulded himself to her back, curling into her and revelling in her soft warmth and the gentle shudder the kiss lured from her body. His hand sought hers and he sighed contentedly when her fingers automatically entwined with his. "I thought it was a dream," he whispered, half afraid that it still was, and that he might wake and ruin the illusion.

He'd been dozing, intermittently since 0600hrs, and he had to be down in Security by 0800hrs. Chief Case had cut back on the TAC training regimen since coming home, giving them all a chance to recuperate and heal, both physically and mentally. Jurell had a strategic simulation test as part of his Tactical Officer training with T'Kal at 0830. He shut out thoughts of duty and kissed her shoulder, inhaling her scent and feeling a little over-awed. Were they really Betrothed? The question stole into his mind; a seed of doubt that it had been real at all.

Another warm huff of exhale escaped her and she turned her face towards his at the kiss. "Did I just dream it, or did we.... Uhh... And are we.... Good gods, I ache in places I didn't know I had places..." she blinked as her body confirmed her suspicions. And then to confirm it even more, she reached for his right hand and pulled his arm up where they could both see the braided copper and silver wires that encircled his wrist.

Caly's eyes widened and she huffed out a breath.

Jurell's soft chuckle at the sight of the make-shift bracelet washed over her ear and he pulled his arm back into the warmth of her body. His hand stole down and pressed flat against her stomach, pulling her softness tightly into him. "It's real then," he breathed softly, his grin widening. "You really did ask me to marry you," he teased. The memory of what they had done during the night was a montage of images and emotions in his mind. He should have been feeling like death warmed over, but for some reason he didn't. They hadn't gotten any more than a couple of hours sleep. The dull pain in his shoulder was a reminder of one of Caly's more ardent bites. He was sure she'd left teeth marks.

She huffed out another breath and then sank back into the warmth of his body. "Well...I only did that in answer to your question wondering if I'd say yes, yanno. I thought it important that I have some kind of control here...." She wrapped her arms over his and let out a sigh. "And that we be on equal terms... Oh hell, I don't know why I did it... It felt right." She turned her head more to see him better. "It still feels right..." she offered softly, the timbre of her voice changing to that tone he was beginning to know quite well.

"It feels wonderful," he murmured, feeling that familiar surge of emotion at that particular quality in her tone; his voice muffled as he spoke against her skin. He inhaled her scent, her natural womanly scent and it evoked strong feelings of comfort and protectiveness in him. He became acutely aware of her softness and her silken skin. "You feel wonderful," he sighed and kissed her neck with a soft brush of his lips, "my love."

"And you still confuse me, Aimé," she smiled and mmm'd softly as she sank back further against him. "How do you do that? Make me feel all confused and at the same time I have this overwhelming urge to..." She lifted an arm and the Betrothal bracelet around her wrist glinted warmly in the muted light as she cupped his face in her warm hand. "Je t`aime," she whispered softly.

He smiled as she lay on her back to see him better, and he squirmed under her arm and put his head on her shoulder, his arm snaking around her waist as he pulled himself against her. "Last night...this morning...it was...amazing," he whispered into the crook of her neck. "I think that I'll remember every minute, for the rest of my life." His voice was barely audible, his eyes were closed as he concentrated on the steady beating of her heart that he could feel as well as hear.

"I'm sure it was all a dream," she smiled as she adjusted her shoulders and arms. One hand went around his shoulders and the other began combing gently through his hair. "And one that will haunt me for the rest of my life," she teased him gently. "A Beautiful Haunting..." she murmured softly, and her stomach growled. But she ignored it because she didn't want to move. "I'm going to try and see Potts today."

He chuckled as the rumbling in her stomach reverberated through him. "What do you need to see him for?" he asked lazily. "To make sure you were sane when you asked me to marry you?" he teased as he brushed his fingers across her flat belly and upward to the locket that lay on her chest.

"Hah! I don't need Potts for that. I'm very confident that I was totally in-sane when I asked you," she nodded and looked down at his hand, shivering a little from his touch. "Somewhere along the way I've managed to get some of my circuits crossed with yours. I'm not quite sure how it happened though... Watson's smitten with you, by the way." Her fingers traced the curves of his ear.

Jurell grinned, "That is only because he gets to do exciting things with me," he pointed out. "Storming a Sovereign ship and rescuing our captain, getting into a fire-fight with enforcers.. that sort of thing." He smoothed his palm over her abdomen and just to hear her sigh, and feel the tightening of her arms, he barely brushed her breast with his fingers. "Watson is an adrenalin junkie."

"Mmhmm... I think Watson and you are both adrenalin junkies," she snorted softly. "And... Does that mean that I'm boring?" she leaned close and pressed warm lips to the crown of his head. He could hear the light, teasing note in her voice. And then her stomach growled again.

"You'd have to ask Watson that, I'm sure we have different criteria for boring. You know you shouldn't be so hungry," he made a lazy spiral around her navel with one finger, "after tearing into me last night...are you sure you don't have Klingon blood in you? I'm going to have to go to Sickbay and try to explain why I have teeth marks." He chuckled, "Maybe I should tell them that a Chief Petty Officer chewed me out."

"Hah! Scoundrel!" she lightly tickled his ear. "They'd want to know why the bite marks weren't on your ass, I'll bet." She grinned at the spiraling finger and pooched her stomach out in response. "No Klingon, but my mama always did call me a blood thirsty little thing..."

"I can't wait to meet her," he said as he got up on his elbow to look down at her. He looked into her eyes that were a little puffy from lack of sleep, but they were still beautiful. His tender smile accompanied a light caress of his fingers along her face. "I'll make you breakfast. Do you want to eat before or after a shower? Seeing as I'll have to carry you." He grinned with that hint of mischief.

"I'll have you know," she spoke softly as she gazed into his eyes. "That Petty Officer Blacksby is getting quite proficient at beaming me where ever I need to go. And not landing me on my ass on the floor," she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "But I'd much prefer you over Blacksby. Shower first, please. And if you want to go have breakfast with the 'boys', I'll certainly understand."

"Without you? No chance!" he bent to plant a gentle kiss on her lips and winced as his shoulder rubbed along her arm. "I'm officially your career remember. They let you out of Sickbay only because I said that I'd be able to manage you. Keep you out of trouble. Take loving care of you," he kissed her again, "though I doubt that they had a night of rampant lovemaking in mind when they released you into my care."

"Manage me?!? HAH! When pigs fly maybe..." she kissed him back, smiling softly. "You could always take me with you," she suggested and then pulled back to look at his shoulder and gently touch it. "Did I really hurt you?" The thought had her biting her bottom lip and her eyes filled with horror when he turned slightly to show her there was not one, but two sets of teeth marks and yellowed bruising on his neck and shoulder.

"Did you mark me?" he asked looking at her reaction. "Do you think they would give me a purple heart for getting wounded in action?" His wide grin was plainly teasing.

"Oh my god..." she gasped and pulled her hand back to press trembling fingers against her lips. She nodded wordlessly and then turned horror stricken eyes to his. "Christ... I didn't realize... You need to go to sickbay right now and get those fixed," she told him. "I'm so sorry...." Her eyes filled with tears and he could see the shame she was feeling at what she'd done.

He laughed at the look on her face and her reaction, "You haven't got rabies you know...don't get upset." He shook his head, "I've had worse in training believe me!" he kissed her and his eyes showed pure mirth. "Besides...it was worth it." He leaned down further and closed his mouth around her nipple and bit softly.

"But I--" her words were cut off by the kiss and she swayed towards him. "Worth I-- OH!" She shuddered and groaned deeply. "Caro..." her back arched and she pressed her breast into the caress as her fingers wove their way into his hair.

He lifted her into his arms and stood with a grin as Caly tightened her hold on him. "You're easily distracted," he said as he walked her to the fresher, "I'll have to remember that." He chuckled as he stepped into the shower.

"Humph... And you are a horrid tease," she countered with a smile and a soft bite to his neck. "I'll have to remember that."

"Can you stand?" he asked as he put her down gently, but held her up. "Hold on to the rail," he instructed, "and try."

"I don't th--" she grabbed hold of the rail as instructed. "OH! I can!!" she exclaimed excitedly when she discovered that indeed she could. And then she tried to move and would have fallen if he hadn't still had a hold of her. "Oh, but I can stand!" she gave him a wide grin. "I couldn't do that yesterday."

He gave her a relieved smile and steadied her before giving her a hug. "Computer, water shower mode; pulse cycle," he ordered. The water jets swept over them and started a pulsing beat that was good for circulation as well as getting them clean. Jurell grinned, taking up the loofah. "Behave," he warned as he got to work.

"I'll have you know that I am the epitome of behave," she informed him with a mock indignant huff.

---

"Forgiveness Divine"
By: Ensign Dwayne Sanchez
Ensign Amy Reese

Location: Dwayne and Amy's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 07h00

***

The dulcet, lilting melody awoke Amy, who expressed her appreciation of the distant sound with a happy sigh. A quick, hazy glance at the wall chrono confirmed the hour - it was morning, therefore she was still in her bed, rousing from sleep. It was the first time in days she'd managed a full night, instead of going straight to duty from the arboretum, or observation lounge, or any other part of the ship she had stolen away to for some contemplation. But, waking up in her own bed, and to such pleasant strains, reminded her of how much she missed undisturbed sleep.

With a great yawn and a stretch that made her tingle from the tips of her fingers to her toes, Amy Reese slipped out of bed and grabbed her robe. Still tying it closed around her scant shorts and tank top, she stood in the doorway leading to the shared living area and watched Dwayne caressing away at the keys of his instrument. His head was raised to the ceiling and his eyes were closed as he felt, rather than simply played the music. Amy smiled fondly and watched on.

Dwayne indeed was doing a Stevie Wonder impression as he played one of his favorite tunes from the twentieth century - Unchained Melody. He loved it and before too long, his deep voice started to come in, using a harmonizing tone to the words, harmonizing with the notes his slender fingers played over. He didn't even hear the door to Amy's bedroom open he was so into the music.

He finished the song and finally looked up to see Amy standing there in her robe. If this had been the day after he'd moved in, he'd have blushed, but he'd done some growing up since then and seeing her like that didn't seem to affect him.

"It's good to hear that again," she told him with a nostalgic smile. Amy gave a short, pensive laugh, then pushed off towards him. "The best wake-up call if there ever was one."

"How long has it been since you woke up in your own bed?" Dwayne asked as he stood from behind the keyboard and made his way to the replicator to get something to drink. He'd had a cup of coffee, but it had long since gone cold and he was really needing another one.

She sighed. "I don't know - a week?" Amy chuckled wanly and slid into a seat at the table. "I'm almost back to normal...I think."

He motioned to the cup he'd just replicated and asked, "You want a cup of coffee?"

"Thanks," she whispered, and smiled up at him as she she watched him tapping commands into the replicator. "I guess this means you don't hate me, huh?"

Dwayne stopped in his motions of preparing her coffee and turned to face her. "Amy, I could never hate you. Why would you even ask that?"

She chewed her bottom lip and shook her head dismissively. "I just...most others seemed to be, and I haven't talked to you for a while.... I just didn't know where things stood between us."

Dwayne sat his cup of coffee on the nearby table and walked over. He stretched out his arms to take her into them for a hug. "Amy, I care about you. You've made mistakes, we all do. To hate you for your mistakes would be a loss for me. You are my best friend, warts and all." He grinned as he spoke the last...

Amy emitted a scandalized gasp then giggled as she swatted his chest. "I do not have warts!" Returning his embrace and nestling her cheek to his abdomen, though, she added, "But I do have you as a best friend...I know that now, and I'm so glad for it, Dwayne."

He remembered when he'd wanted more from her, but realized this was better...to be her friend through anything and everything. "Amy, I'll always be your friend, no matter what."

"I hope you mean that," she whispered, and unconsciously gripped him tighter. "I hate being alone...."

Dwayne pulled her from his hold to look her in the eye. "Of course I mean it." He gave her a gentle shake. "I won't abandon you, Amy."

She smiled and answered nearly tearfully, "Thanks, Dwayne. You've always been here for me...it's just taken time to realize it. If I'd bothered to take the time and notice before...I might not have fallen into that bitch's web." Eyes wide with shock, Amy slapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry," came her muffled apology.

Dwayne grinned, then the grin turned to a smile, then a chuckle emitted from between his open lips...then it turned into a full out belly laugh. He hadn't laughed like that in so long...it felt good.

Amy chuckled uncertainly at first, then freer and genuinely once it became obvious he wasn't laughing at her. Snorts and shrill bursts punctuated her own laughter to truly express the extent of her relief and joy. She had a friend, and he didn't care about her past mistakes. Amy was so thrilled by that revelation that she leapt up from her chair and latched onto Dwayne with both arms and legs encircling him. His face was soon covered with kisses. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

He laughed all that much harder...his face being peppered with kisses. "Amy...Amy slow it down...I can't breathe." He was still laughing.

She snickered, then did as he pleaded, but remained attached to his torso. "After shift, you wanna go for a drink?"

Dwayne closed his eyes as he realized that even though he thought his feelings for her were gone, they weren't. He nodded with his eyes still closed. "I'd like that."

She smiled warmly and closed her arms around his neck to pull herself fully into him for an embrace. "Me too," she whispered against his ear. Then jerked back, transforming suddenly from sullen, to beaming. "So...meet you in the lounge?"

Dwayne opened his eyes and turned away from her, acting like there was some pressing matter on the table he needed to attend to. "Yeah, about oh...say...22h30 hours?"

She nodded readily. Twisting her head around to find his face, Amy delivered a quick kiss to the tip of his nose, then unwound her legs and dropped away. "Thanks for the coffee," she called back as she skipped towards her room, tail of her robe bouncing behind her.

Dwayne watched her go, a little saddened that they wouldn't be anything more to each other than friends. But, at least they were that much.

---

"Breakfast Announcements"
By: CPO Calyca Boothroyd, Engineering
Crewman 1st Class Sorg Jurell, Security

Location: USS Sulu, Mess Hall
Stardate: 57910.27, 07h30

***

"We wouldn't be so late if you hadn't gotten distracted," Caly pointed out as they rode the turbolift to the mess hall. "And just because I sorta helped... I'll have Blacksby zip me back home so you don't have to," she grinned up at him. "How's that?"

He cleared his throat and straightened his tunic, and for good measure rolled his eyes at the diminutive engineer. "I got distracted?" he asked with disbelief. "You do realise that they will by now be well informed that I did not return to quarters again last night." He grinned. "At least I can say that I was just obeying orders."

"Hah! I so did not order you to stay," she pointed out, and smoothed the shoulder of his uniform for him. "And yes, you got distracted. If you'll recall, my hands were occupied trying to keep myself from falling down."

"Excuses," he muttered as he stepped out of the lift. "You coming?" he asked as she stood at the back of the lift. He waited to see her expression for a moment before stepping back in. "Okay," he grinned and picked her up.

She gave him a look that was quite eloquent and wrapped her arms around his neck when he gathered her up. "You can always be replaced with Blacksby, don't forget," she teased.

"Watson wouldn't stand for it," he pointed out with a grin that widened at her murmured 'neither would I', as he carried her into the Mess Hall. Walking into the main eatery of the Sulu with a girl in your arms was guaranteed to get attention. There were stares, grins and smirks as he carried her to the long table that customarily held the security officers about to embark on Alpha shift.

"Hey, Chief," Kate Hansen grinned. "Can I have one of those?"

"As long as you find your own," Caly quipped back with a grin.

Kaven Lucas laughed, "Sorgie, I know you missed her while we were away, but that's a little extreme 'ay?"

Jurell just smirked as he put her into a chair. "Transporter accident...she can't walk," he said seriously.

Caly rubbed his arm and smiled her thanks up at him before turning to look at the gathered masses.

The mood of the table changed instantly and smiling faces dissolved into worried concern. "What did the doc say?" Hansen asked Caly from directly across the table. "It's not permanent is it?"

"Not judging by the rigorous physical therapy they're putting me through," she said as Jurell stifled a laugh at the rigorous therapy and the back of her fingers automatically fwapped him lightly on the stomach... "And this morning I could stand on my own. I'm convinced that it's just a matter of time," she answered Kate and smiled at them to lighten the mood. "And by the way... You guys did good," Caly congratulated them on the mission. There were various grins and nods.

They all looked relieved and promptly ignored her condition, getting back to breakfast. "I'll get yours," Jurell smiled and walked away to the replicator, but not before getting Caly's smile of thanks.

"You did alright too," Kate grinned at Calyca. "I heard you saved the XO's cute little ass," she said around her mug of Raktajino. "Those things you brought back," she clarified. "Want to fill us in?"

Marcus Arellian leaned in to listen and so did Solomon Rush, both chewing on Bajoran breakfast cake that was passed down the centre of the table to share. Marcus passed it to Calyca. It steamed lightly, wrapped in a ceramic bowl it contained mixed grain and fruits native to Bajor. It was sweet and aromatic and a popular breakfast food.

"Thanks. But I think saving the XO's ass was just a fluke." Caly took some of the cake, thanking Marcus and nibbling on a bite before continuing. "Basically I got cornered by the Head of Medical on the station and wound up getting the grand tour of his research facility. Those things I snatched were nanoprobes they harvested from the Borg..." She took another bite of the breakfast cake and let that sink in.

"Harvested from Borg?" Arellian's slight Italian accent came through.

"Nice," Hansen grinned.

Caly nodded. "From Borg... They found a way to conquer them and now grow them to harvest the probes before they mature," she explained. Her voice was quiet and she was trying not to remember too much. And certainly trying not to resurrect any visual images. But it was hard and a little of the strain showed in the depth of her eyes.

Marcus recognised the look in her eyes. He'd seen it so many times. "Sorg looks cheerful this morning," he threw in with a complete look of pure innocence.

Kate Hansen laughed before Caly could answer, "You melting the iceman?" she asked slyly.

Caly's head turned and her eyes found Jurell just as he was looking her way. "I think he melted me," she smiled at him and held his gaze for a moment before she turned back to smile at Kate. "Or we melted each other. I think he likes carrying me around," she told Marcus.

"Who wouldn't," observed Kate as she took a sip of Klingon coffee and smiled knowingly at Calyca. "I notice you're still wearing jewelry." She looked pointedly at the bracelet on Caly's wrist.

Caly brushed her fingers over the delicate metal strands warmed by her body heat. "To be perfectly honest... This," she leaned in to whisper to Kate, but made it loud enough for everyone at the table to hear, "Is the real thing." Then she sat back to let that shock sink in and calmly took a bite of her breakfast cake while she watched for their reactions.

There was a short but utter silence as the security officers stared at Calyca and then at each other. Then Marcus cracked a smile. Solomon sat back with his mouth open and Kate Hansen said, "Isn't that a bit sudden?"

Kaven Lucas laughed, "Too bad, Katie girl...she likes boys." Kate glared at him and sat back to drink.

"Congrats," Marcus said warmly. "I could tell by the way he looks at you, he's gone big time." He leaned in and gave Caly a hug and a kiss on both cheeks. "We'll have to celebrate yes? Have a party...it would be good to celebrate something worthwhile right now."

Caly was a bit surprised by the hug, but actually returned it a little awkwardly. "Thank you," she included all of them in that. "And you're right, it would be good."

"He's a lucky man," Lucas grinned, his facial tattoos making even the smile look fierce. "You two are good together."

"I'm not so sure how lucky he is. I'm not the easiest person to get along with that's for sure," she admitted and then turned to smile a little at Kate. "Sudden? Maybe. I'm not sure of the time frame on things like this. I do know that it's going to be a very, very long Betrothal because... Well... "

"She doesn't do relationships," Jurell laughed as he leaned over her shoulder and gave her a tray laden with food. They all laughed at that, and the big Bajoran shuffled Solomon out of the way to sit next to his fiancée. "I guess she told you," he grinned. "She can't keep a secret either." He laughed. "But then neither can I!" He looked down at his own heaped tray. It was crowded and for a moment he didn't know where to start. "Prophets I'm starving," he declared.

"See? Exactly." Caly nodded to Jurell. "He knows. And he's so right, I don't do them." She smiled at him and rubbed his forearm in appreciation once she got the tray settled in front of her. "Thank you. And you never said to keep it a secret," she teased and looked at the full tray. "Besides, these guys are sharp. They notice things like bracelets. Holy cow I'm hungry..."

They all grinned at that. It wasn't the only thing they noticed. "Big night huh?" Kate grinned at Caly. There were a few chuckles as they dug in to the food.

"Musta slept in," Kaven grinned.

"No wonder she can't walk," Solomon pointed out.

"Oh go ahead and laugh all you want," Caly looked around the table at them. She was pink cheeked but staring them all down and taking the joking good naturedly. "Get it out of your systems.... At least Jurell can walk..." She reached over and lightly fwapped him on the stomach with the back of her hand again. "And he's strong, so I don't have to."

"Gotta keep up those vittles my man." Kaven laughed at Jurell as the Bajoran was going as red as his girl. "I've a feelin' you're gonna need 'em." He bit into a piece of fruit and the juice ran over his chin.

"Hey where's Shirik these days?" Kate asked Jurell. "She hasn't come down to breakfast since...before."

Jurell shrugged, and waited until he swallowed his food before adding, "I haven't seen her either. I think Lieutenant Commander Sam must be working her pretty hard." He wondered why Shirik had kept to herself too. He looked to Caly. "Have you seen her since we've been back?"

Caly nodded and swallowed what was in her mouth. "I saw her the day before yesterday.... So two days after we got back," she told them. "I think she's working a lot and I don't know what else really...." she shrugged just a bit. "I think she has a lot she has to deal with too... That thing with Hadek...." Her voice quieted and she took a drink of the coffee Jurell had brought her.

The name brought a round of hard expressions. There was no need to verbalise what the security officers at the table would have liked to have done with Hadek, the senior enforcer.

"She was shook up, huh?" Kaven asked. The look of concern on his face warred with the tattoos that tried to make every expression fierce. "Hope she's okay...you make sure to tell her...if she needs anything...you know."

Solomon Rush grinned as he wiped up the last of a runny egg with breakfast cake. "Kaven's got a thing for the princess." He chuckled as Kaven shot him a dagger look that did true justice to the tattoos.

Caly blinked and eyed Kaven a bit after Rush's pronouncement. "You know... She'd probably like it if you checked up on her," she told Kaven. "It's nice to know people care. Even when you're a Princess."

Kaven looked at Calyca and seemed to mull it over for a few seconds. "Okay. I will," he said sternly.

"Go for it, big guy," Solomon laughed.

Kate Hansen looked at Kaven and sipped contemplatively on her raktajino. She seemed subdued.

Caly smiled at Kaven and nodded. "There ya go... Call if you need backup and I'll come running," she told him. She glanced over at Hansen and frowned a little as she ate her breakfast but didn't know the officer all that well and didn't feel comfortable asking if she was alright.

Jurell smiled at Kaven. "I'm sure she'd appreciate your visit, Kav. If she doesn't want to come down to breakfast you can always carry her here." He grinned. "It works for me...though Shiri's got that knife...so be careful."

"Naaa Kav's got a real disarming charm," Solomon joked.

Kaven stood. "Gotta get to shift," he explained. He nodded to Jurell. "Congratulations, Jurell," he looked down at Caly, "and you too, Cal." He gave her a smile and a nod. "Catch you later...maybe in the Crew Lounge tonight? Have a few drinks?"

"Yeah, good idea," Solomon grinned, "I'm in...."

"Me too," Rush agreed as he too stood. "Eighteen hundred?"

"No problem," Jurell grinned. "We'll be there." He cast a look at Caly and trailed a hand across her shoulder. "I have it on good authority that this little lady can down a few."

"Oh, and whose authority would that be, hmm?" Caly looked back at Jurell with a warm smile and rested a hand on his thigh. "Thanks, guys," she smiled at those congratulating her and Jurell.

"A certain Chief in Engineering," Jurell grinned. "Your drinking buddy?" he asked with a chuckle. "Or is it singing buddy?"

"Hah! Paddy?" Caly laughed. "Drinking and singing...."

Kate Hansen downed the last of her raktajino and stood. "Eighteen hundred then," she said. "I'll bring Rachel. Maybe you could invite the engineering staff...we'll grab the security guys...in the interests of departmental relations...at least we all wear the same coloured uniforms. Not like the science pukes."

"I'll see what I can do," Caly smiled at her.

They walked out and left the two alone.

"Well...that was easy," Jurell smiled and reached for her hand. He took it and kissed the knuckles as she curled her fingers around his. "I'd better be going too...or Chief Case will have a hernia." He leaned into her and kissed her cheek, brushing his cheek against hers a moment and inhaling her scent. "Je t`aime," he whispered close to her ear.

"Je t`aime, caro," she whispered back softly and pressed her cheek against his as she cupped his face with her free hand. "Go before you get bite marks on your ass," she teased.

"Be good," he teased back. "I'll see you after shift." His azure eyes held hers for a long moment, the happiness he felt was written large in his expression, his smile was for her alone. It went unspoken, but she could tell that he really didn't want to leave her. It meant an end to their night. His hand brushed her cheek as he arose and he winked, finally turning to leave.

"I'm always good," Caly smiled warmly and slid her hand down his chest as he rose. She clenched the material at his waist for a moment in a blatant display of not wanting him to leave, before she finally let him go and watched him walk to the door.

Just before he vanished through the doors he looked back at her and gave her a broad grin and then he was gone.

---

"How Babies Are Made?"

Lieutenant Brennyn Scott; Ship's Counselor
Ensign Alexia Johnstone, Medical Officer
CPO Calyca Boothroyd, Engineering Crewchief

Location: USS Sulu, Sickbay
Stardate: 57910.27 08h00

***

Caly sat there for several minutes after Security and Jurell left her in the Mess Hall. She pressed one hand to her stomach and could feel the color fading from her face. She hadn't been able to eat much and she was convinced there was something wrong with her. Maybe they broke something and just didn't know it... She wasn't experiencing any real pain, but she could feel that she was still bleeding.

"Chief Boothroyd to Petty Officer Blacksby," she activated her comm badge.

"Aye Chief. Blacksby here. Need a ride, ma'am? Your chariot awaits..." The humor in his voice was quite evident. Booter's refusal to use a Grav chair and instead preferring to be beamed all over the ship was quickly becoming a running joke with the Transporter crowd. And Caly didn't mind being the brunt of their humor. That they could find humor was good, and something that was sorely needed by the crew. So she didn't mind supplying a little.

"If you please, Mister Blacksby. It's not a medical emergency, but I need to get to Sickbay," she informed him in the calmest voice she could muster at the moment.

It might not have been an emergency, but Blacksby sobered immediately. "Aye, ma'am. Right away," he responded and then notified Medical that he was beaming the Chief in a moment before the tell-tale blue energy surge of the transporter beam deposited Caly on the Biobed.

Lexi was working quietly in Sickbay when the message came through that CPO Boothroyd was coming in - something that was almost a novelty lately. Things had been so hectic, and it was a nice change to be working at a more sedate pace, without having bodies beaming in left, right and centre. She knew Caly had been through a lot lately, and prayed that the other woman was okay. As the woman was deposited onto the biobed, Lexi moved over to her, looking closely for visible signs that something was wrong. Fortunately, Lexi couldn't see any immediate injuries, so that was a bonus.

"Hi, Caly. How are you?" Lexi asked. "What can we do for you today?" As Lexi asked, she glanced to the monitors over the biobed which automatically recorded the woman's vital signs. All were completely within normal range, which was another bonus.

"Actually... Just a wee bit worried," Caly answered and offered Lexi a faint smile. Judging by the look on her face, the Chief was more worried than she let on. She was also a bit on the pale side. "I know that after...." she lowered her voice to a hushed whisper and her cheeks were starting to pinken as she talked now... "...after sex it's normal to... You know...bleed," her voice was kept low, rising a bit now. "But I didn't think it would continue on till the next day... I think I may have broke something..."

"Ahhhhh.....!!" Lexi nodded as understanding dawned on her. She also noted Caly's embarrassment, and decided that maybe it would be pertinent to be somewhere a little more private - after all, the middle of sickbay probably wasn't the best place to be discussing this sort of thing. She motioned to one of the technicians working nearby, and asked for assistance to move Caly into one of the side rooms.

Once Caly was settled onto the biobed, Lexi nodded her thanks to the technician. "Thanks, that will be all. I'll call if I need further assistance," she said. Then she turned back to Caly. "Okay, now that we've got some privacy, we can talk a little more freely. I don't want to embarrass you, nor do I want to pry, but I probably need a few more details to decide what's been happening, then I'll need to take a quick look. I'm absolutely positive there's nothing wrong, but with all you've been through lately, I'd just like to make sure," she said.

In the true tradition of all redheads, Caly got even redder. The blush started in her cheeks and just spread all the way down to her chest, disappearing under the shirt she was wearing. "Alright," she smiled at Lexi and drew in a breath, letting it out in a huff. Damn Jurell. He should have to be here too. "You see... Jurell and I.... Well..." and she launched into an explanation that told Lexi the pertinent data without getting graphic to the point of embarrassing herself into total mortification.

Lexi put on her professional face as she listened silently. It was so hard not to smile. Caly was so embarrassed that it was almost humorous. When Caly finished, Lexi nodded again. There had been slightly more detail than she had expected, but it was almost as if the other woman had needed to speak out loud about it - almost as if she needed to speak about it to actually believe what had happened. If there was one thing Lexi knew of the other woman, it was the she "didn't do" relationships... and yet here she was, smack bang in the middle of a rather serious one by all accounts!

"Okay. Well, after hearing what you've said, I highly doubt you've broken anything, but I'll do a quick look, then we can talk a little more," said Lexi. She picked up a tricorder and ran it over Caly's abdomen, then waited for the readout. As she had expected, it came back normal.

Lexi smiled now at Caly. "I'm guessing that this is good news for you, something that hasn't been too frequent of late," she said. "Now...do you have any questions for me?"

The sheer relief on Caly's face was comical. She'd evidently been more freaked out and near panic than she let show. "Oh gods..." She covered her heart with her hand and sank back against the bio bed... "I thought.... Well you know...." She made some vague motions with her hands. "Friction causes a lot of stress on parts, yanno. It's one of the major things we have to watch for," she blurted out. "And with the... And him... And well.... And then he's got those... He's Bajoran, you know..." she was babbling big time. Something Lexi knew happened in times of great relief. "And I have no idea what the stress tolerances are... Or...or the expansion parameters.... Jurell said they had schematics and designs for this..." She propped herself up on her elbows and leveled her gaze at Lexi. "Do they?"

As Lexi listened, she simply couldn't help herself, and laughed right out loud, a deep, all-encompassing belly laugh. As suddenly as she had begun, she stopped, then looked shamefacedly at the blushing woman who was now near to tears. "I'm so sorry," she gasped. "I'm... really, really sorry. Please forgive me," she begged. "I never meant to make fun of you... please...believe me that I'm not making fun of you!"

Caly blinked and watched Lexi laugh through the tears filling her eyes. And when she started to apologize, the engineer flopped back onto the biobed with a heartfelt huff. "See... This is why I don't do relationships!" she groaned and covered her eyes with her hands. "Damn Jurell anyway."

As Lexi finally got herself back under control, she motioned to the chair nearby. "Can I sit down? I think we need to have a serious educational talk."

Caly peeked out at Lexi and nodded. "I should have read the rest of the 'How Babies are Made' book, huh?"

Lexi nodded again. "That may well have been a good idea. But in the meantime, maybe you and I can sort some things out together."

In a gentle, but no-nonsense professional voice, Lexi began to explain simply about the facts of life, and included facts that were pertinent to Bajorans. She was determined not to embarrass the other woman any more than she already had, but wanted to be sure she had all the information she needed, while making sure she felt comfortable enough to be able to ask any questions she had, both now and in the future.

Caly stared at Lexi and if anything, turned redder. She finally blinked and let out her breath in a huff. "Okay... Christ.... Wait... Did you say babies? Oh no... No, no, noooo... I do not do babies... No... No babies... Good gods... They're ... Like... Small!... And..." she moved her hands in an agitated manner... "And... Alive!"

Once more, Lexi pealed with laughter, but this time, it was obvious there was no malice intended. After sharing the information that they had, Lexi knew that this time, Caly wouldn't be upset with her laughter...at least she hoped so, and her hope was rewarded by the crooked grin on Caly's face.

"How 'bout we deal with that when the time comes? Until then, I think you're adequately informed for the time being. But I would ask that any time you're not sure about something, please feel free to come talk to me again." As Lexi said this, she pulled the red-faced woman into a gentle one-handed hug. "It's okay, we'll get through this together," she smiled.

Caly blinked at the hug and returned it. "Thank you, Lexi," she smiled at the other woman.

"I would suggest though, that maybe you might like to consider a contraceptive...you know, so that you can control what's happening and when. We couldn't have you coming to me with a little "surprise", could we!" Lexi grinned.

"Surprise?" That had Caly sputtering and then nodding vigorously in agreement. "Oh hell yes..."

There was a clearing of a throat and Bree spoke hesitantly. "Alexia? I heard giggling in here, and I thought I'd see where the party is?"

Caly and Lexi both looked up at the counsellor at the same time. Caly's face was still rather red, but not like it had been. "Good morning, Counsellor," Caly offered her a small smile. "I'm afraid what you heard was Lexi's reactions to my babbling rants." She turned to smile at Lexi to show her that it was okay.

Lexi nodded almost imperceptibly, and smiled. With Caly taking over the explanations, Lexi excused herself to go and collect the necessary equipment. "I'll be back in a minute," she said.

"I'm afraid I was in a bit of a panic," Caly admitted to Bree after watching Lexi slip from the room.

Bree frowned. "A panic? Are you hurt, Caly?"

"No, ma'am... Well, other than my legs, but that's not what the panic was about," she admitted and then went on to explain, hitting just the basics and turning beet red again.

Bree smiled. "I'm just sorry you had to get so freaked out about it after the fact. Have all your questions been answered for right now?"

"About that? Yes ma'am...I think so.... Although to be honest, I haven't a clue what questions to ask. I need a schematic. Something I can relate to..." Caly shrugged. "This... This is so... Abstract..."

"Sex is abstract? I suppose we could help you with basic anatomy and some health related stuff. It'll help you to put things in perspective."

"The mechanics of it aren't, no, ma'am... But the rest? Oh hell yeah. Very." Caly shrugged a bit and gave her a wry smile. "Lexi explained a bunch of things but some design specs would help. I'm very visually oriented, you see..." she explained and then bit on her bottom lip a bit. "Do you know if Dr. Potts is around? I was going to try and see him..."

"I'm afraid Dr. Potts is unavailable for a while... He said something about bonding with the new fern..." Scott seemed to give that some thought, and then finding that much consideration to be disturbing, shuddered and returned to the present. "But I'm available if you're up for it. I'm afraid, however, you'll find my methods a bit more...conventional."

Potts wasn't available? That had Caly frowning and chewing her bottom lip. "I'm not sure what you mean by 'conventional', but that's alright, ma'am. I'll wait till he's done with his bonding. It's not an emergency or anything," she told Bree and even offered the woman a smile just to show she was okay, and even agreeing to go see her if she decided she didn't wish to wait for Potts.

On her return, Lexi explained exactly what the shot was and how the contraceptive would work before she injected Caly, then said, "If you're ready, I'll get you back to your quarters...unless there's somewhere else you'd rather go?"

"I think I'm due for physical therapy actually," Calyca told her. "And I can have Blacksby beam me into PT."

"Lovely. Now, remember, I'm always available for you...all you have to do is call me...whenever. I mean that. Well," she said, "I'll let you get to PT, can't have you being late now!" Then she nodded to the other woman, and watched as she was beamed out of sickbay. Lexi smiled again.... She was doing a lot of that this morning, and it was a good feeling. She had almost forgotten what it was like to smile and laugh, but she planned on doing it quite a bit more regularly.

With that thought, Lexi moved from the side room back to the main area of sickbay and continued with her duties.

---

"Investigations"
By: Ensign Amy Reese
Ensign Aidan Essex

Location: Security Office, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 10h00

***

Still happily humming the tune Dwayne had been caressing from the keyboard that morning, Amy Reese looked for all the world like a girl who hadn't suffered heartbreaking turmoil earlier in the week. She had gotten back into a groove, performing her duties with enthusiasm and full concentration on the task at hand. Her goal was to impress Ensign Johnstone enough that she would allow her to work through an entire shift, rather than a shortened one. Then, her life would return to its former semblance of normalcy.

Raising her completed tray of instruments from the work surface, Amy turned with a visible buoyancy to her step and lightly skipped her way towards the biobed. Depositing her tray on the adjacent cart, Amy glanced up briefly, as was now habit for all the medical officers when that tell-tale hiss of the doors parting disrupted the silence of sickbay, announcing a potential patient. Two men in gold collars stepped inside instead, stopping just past the threshold. Their eyes scanned the bay until they connected with Amy. She halted in mid-verse and frowned as they approached.

"Ensign Reese?" The taller of the two, a dark-haired human with severe green eyes addressed her first. She quailed under their hard gazes.

"Um...yes?" she whispered. It was proving difficult to breathe.

"Ensign, we've been asked to escort you to security." The two men stepped aside, clearing a path for her.

She swallowed hard. There was no need to ask questions - she had a feeling she was in trouble again, but the Emma incident had passed...hadn't it? With head down and face quickly paling, she made her way forward trepidly. The two men fell into step beside her and back. They remained that way throughout the entire trek to Security.

It was only by sheer determination that Amy avoided crying. Was she to be tossed back in the brig and kept there this time? Or was she, too, to have a subdermal transponder injected to track her movements, as with the former enforcers on board? Neither scenario brought her much comfort, nor did being ushered into a gray interrogation room with an unfamiliar security officer staring at her.

She nearly turned to run, but her two escorts were still behind her, blocking an escape route. Exhaling raggedly, she stood her ground and whispered, "Ensign Amy Reese...reporting as o-ordered."

Ensign Essex nodded to both of Amy's escorts, his smile an easy one, they both left the small room to the Ensign and the nurse. For a moment Aidan was standing on one side of a table and Reese on the other. He cast a glance from her feet to her face, then waved her to the chair on her side. "Please," he smiled to try to put her a little more at ease. "Sit. My name is Aidan. Do you mind if I call you Amy?" His eyes were not hard as she'd seen on the two escorts, and there was something about him that seemed to diminish her fear.

"You can call me Amy," she answered timidly. She seated herself without taking both eyes off the man. "Ensign...what am I doing here? I mean...I don't understand...."

Aidan nodded and smiled as he too sat at the table. He leaned his elbows on the grey surface and linked his hands as he held her gaze. "Commander T'Kal has given me the task of investigating the matter of Emma Summers, or Catherine Page...and I was hoping that you could help me. I need to ask you some questions and I need you to be completely truthful with me. Starfleet Security needs to know and understand what happened. You were close to her; I understand that she used you, and lied to you...but you have been implicated in the attempted murder of Commander Lyrr Tayla, of aiding a felon, and treason. They are very serious charges, and I want you to know that I'll help you as much as I can, as long as you can demonstrate a willing co-operation with my investigation. Do you understand, Amy?"

She shook her head slowly, pure astonishment in her trembling eyes. "I...I don't, sir," came her reply. "I spoke to Counsellor Scott about all that...I mentioned everything in my report. I never tried to hurt the Commander. I had no idea what Emma had planned!" Amy whimpered and whispered, "I thought I was just doing my job...."

"Yes, I know." He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze; the contact a brief communication that Aidan wanted to help her through this. "You'll be fine, Amy, as long as we can sort out a few things. I've read the counsellor's report, but there are a few things I need to know."

She exhaled shortly, gaining a modicum of composure. "Okay," she nodded. "I'll answer your questions. I'm not guilty of anything...except stupidity." Her smile was wan.

Aidan smiled in return. "Okay then," he nodded as he sat back, more relaxed and took a moment to take in her features.

She was attractive, with that wide-eyed look that told him she was still afraid. Her nervousness was evident in the slight jiggling of her knee beneath the table and the fidgeting of her delicate fingers. She didn't look to be the type to be an accomplice in Summers' schemes, yet there would be more than a few people in Starfleet Security that would want her punished for her alleged stupidity. She was supposed to be a well trained officer of Starfleet. An Ensign who had passed the tests that only the brightest and the best could surpass in the Academy. She wasn't supposed to be stupid.

Aidan took a breath and let it out as he allowed himself to give her a reassuring smile. "You spent a great deal of time with Emma Summers, we'll just call her Emma for now; what can you tell me about her? What did you do together, or talk about?"

Amy's cheeks coloured slightly. "What did we...do? D-Do I really need to go into details? It was sort of...private," she mumbled.

"I'm aware that you had a sexual relationship with her, Amy, I'm not asking you to tell me the sordid details of that aspect of your life. I want to know what she wanted, what her aims were, what she talked about. Why she did what she did. Nothing concerning Emma Summers is private anymore, Amy; not since she committed treason, attempted murder, aided the enemy, kidnapped Starfleet Officers, and designed a killer virus that would have wiped out the Bajoran population of the ship before God knows who else."

"I know," Amy whispered and hunched over in defeat. "I'm so sorry about all that...if I'd known, I would've told someone. But I didn't. I mean...all she talked about was us being together...forever." She smiled ruefully. "I know that's never going to happen, now. I'm beginning to understand that she never meant for that. She was just manipulating me."

Aidan nodded, his eyes showing the girl a great deal of compassion. "She manipulated a number of people, including our Chief Counsellor and the entire medical staff." He reached over and placed a warm hand over hers. "You were used rather badly," he said in his clipped accent. "I'm sorry that all of this was left to you, but I need to know what happened the night of the inoculations. How it was that you injected Commander Lyrr with the virus."

"I didn't know," she insisted. "I-I'd dropped my hypo - Commander Lyrr's always made me anxious, she just has that look about her... Then Emma... she...." Amy sighed and closed her eyes as the memories returned, though with much resistance. "She was smiling," Amy whispered. "Such a beautiful smile...and she handed me a prepared hypo. I thanked her...and injected Commander Lyrr with it. I'm sorry...."

Aidan nodded and patted the hand still under his. "Commander Lyrr has described those events too." He gave her a smile of encouragement. "Why did she accompany you when the inoculations were done? I understand at that point she wasn't a member of the medical staff."

"Because," Amy answered wistfully, "we were in love...at least I thought we were. I guess...we just wanted to be together all the time." Her lips twisted into a frown and she found herself clenching his hand. "Now, I realize she just needed a scapegoat in case the commander's infection was found before she could get off the ship. She just...used me."

Aidan squeezed her hand in return. She was still confused by it all and he knew that she'd taken Summers' betrayal hard. He also knew that she was telling the truth. There was no complicity in her. He nodded. "So...she invited herself along? It must have been very convenient...as I understand it, the inoculations were a part of the plan to take control of the ship from the Enforcers. It would seem that she took the chance offered to her. Perhaps she used you because at that moment it was the only way of getting to Lyrr."

It may be the truth, Aidan thought, but even a small twisting of the truth for this girl's sake was warranted. She seemed so dispirited, Aidan felt compassion for her; she'd been used that was certain, but he could see that this would affect the way she viewed herself, and it could be devastating to be so betrayed by someone you loved. What Summers did, she did out of revenge and spite; what Amy did, she did out of love and ignorance. She was an innocent caught in the web of a very clever but sick mind.

"Perhaps she did love you," he added. "The review of the logs from the Bridge made it quite clear that she acted alone, even to the extent of making it easier for us to conclude that you are an innocent in this. I have no doubt that you're telling me the truth, Amy. I don't imagine anything bad happening to you because of her mistreatment of you, and her crimes against the crew." He gave her a smile and once more squeezed her hand.

She smiled hesitantly. "Then...then I'm not in trouble?"

"To be honest with you, Amy, Starfleet Security will deliberate over the reports. It will be up to them to make a decision. You could very well be facing criminal charges for complicity. It will also rely a great deal on what Commander Lyrr and Captain Salinger say in their reports. Mine will just add detail to theirs, but I won't be recommending charging you. I believe you to be innocent, just a little misguided and ill-used by a very manipulative criminal." He sat back and smiled. "We'll see what happens, but I know that Captain Salinger is a very compassionate man. I'm sure he'll show you as much or even more compassion than that bestowed upon our current prisoners. Thank you for being honest with me, Amy."

"I have nothing to hide," she explained. "I just...I want this to be over with. I want to start fresh...you know?" Amy smiled wanly and shrugged. "Well...if I do end up getting punished, it'll be my own fault. I'm always leading with my heart instead of my head."

"I can understand that, Amy, and you know, sometimes in matters of the heart, you don't really get a choice. I think that a woman who leads with her head instead of her heart will find it very difficult to find love. We all deserve to find our soul mate, Amy; you're just as deserving as anyone. Don't let this experience turn you away from that."

She watched Ensign Essex quizzically. A caring, compassionate security officer? That and his perfectly symmetrical, dashing smile...the accent... Amy sighed dreamily and grinned. "I promise," she answered in response to his advice.

"Good," he nodded as he stood. "I'll get a copy of your statement from the computer recording of our interview and I'll get you to sign it. Just a matter of procedure. You can go back to your duty assignment and I'll forward everything to the Chief of Security. If there's anything else I need to know, is it alright if I just visit you instead of dragging you in here?"

Amy nodded all too readily as she sprang from her chair. Her hand still grasped his. "I'm at your disposal, Ensign," she told him fervently. "Anything you need...just ask."

Aidan smiled warmly. "Thank you, I will, you can be sure of it." He released her hand and waved her toward the door. "If there's anything I can do for you too, Amy, please call me. I know this has been a difficult time for you, it would probably be a good thing for you to keep up the visits to Lieutenant Scott for a while."

"Oh, I plan to," she assured him, and smiling demurely she turned for the door. Amy stopped before stepping through to face Aidan again. "Um...if you want to talk about this some more," she began nervously, "you and I could...maybe...have some coffee or dinner or something. Food always makes me more talkative." She grinned.

He grinned back at her. "Thank you for the invitation," he replied, "but I'm afraid that during the course of this investigation, it would be incorrect of me to mix business with what would be a definite pleasure." His eyes were warm and grin charming. "Perhaps later - when all of this has blown over?"

Amy giggled and bobbed her head exuberantly. "I'd like that. And...thanks for being so kind. It's a nice change from all the glares I've been getting lately." Still grinning foolishly, Amy waved at Aidan while backing out of the room.

He gave her a smile and then turned back to the padd that recorded the interview, his face dropping the smile as soon as she was gone. He was certain that she knew nothing of consequence. If his investigation into Amy had told him anything, it was that she was very liberal with her affections. She was right about the hostility though, he'd seen it himself in the faces of his fellow security officers. She was seen as a collaborator to the enemy instead of a foolish girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. He felt a twinge of pity for the nurse, this would put a very black mark on her security record, and it was doubtful that she would ever attain a higher rank because of it. She had the right temperament for a nurse though. He smiled to himself as he recalled the bubbly cheerfulness that was so easily exhibited. He knew that she was a good nurse, Commander Sefton's reports on her had been praising her skills. Oh well...it was out of his hands anyway. He just had to remain objective. He tapped out the code entry and sent it to T'Kal.

---

"Girl Friday"
By: Lt. Commander Benedict T'Kal
Ensign Andrea Collins

Location: CSO's Office
Stardate: 57910.27, 10h00

***

Andrea smirked. She had an idea that this wasn't just any old visit to the Chief's office. She stepped into the outer office. There really wasn't anyone inside, she hadn't figured there would be since he called her in when everyone else was on patrol. Maybe he'll suggest I transfer off this hunk-o-junk, she thought to herself as she waited for him to even bother to come to the outer office to see if she was even there.

She apparently hadn't impressed him with her dedication. Although it was her own dedication to her own physical form that kept her working out as she was. Her only problem, according to rumors around the Security Office as late, was that she wasn't a team player. Of course not, not according to all these people. I'm a loner...well, when you were with the knights you had to learn how to do things for yourself or you were killed, either by the people who caught you, or by the people of the Knights themselves. She sat down to await Benedict's appearance.

Benedict in his turn strode through the security office with Arthas Hex. They'd both been to the Brig to quell yet another heated scuffle between the men and women locked in cells. The Enforcers were getting surly, mean and downright difficult. Benedict had just given orders to shoot the lot of them with heavy stuns the next time they even thought about jumping the security officers who tried to serve them a meal. It was getting difficult because the Brig wasn't meant to be a long term home for anyone. Already one of the Enforcers had died; strangled in his sleep for some alleged offence, but there was no way that Benedict was letting any of these scum out of the cells. He was angry and not in the most pleasant of moods when he saw Andrea Collins seated in the Security Office. Benedict turned to Arthas and dismissed him to the Bridge.

"Come," he said as he went past Collins. The clipped tone of his voice gave her an indication of his mood. As he went inside his office, he almost threw himself into his chair, finally watching the redhead as he waved her to the seat opposite. "Lieutenant Casey and Chief Case tell me that you might be having a few problems adjusting to the requirements of the Tactical Team." He went straight to the point. "They seem to be under the impression that you don't want to be a part of it. Is that true?" His violet eyes fixed upon her green ones.

"I enjoy the exercise routines I've taken to doing. Being on the team gives that opportunity. If Lieutenant Casey and Chief Case don't believe I'm fit for this...duty, then why was I included in it?" She asked him the moment he gave her opportunity to speak.

"I gave you the opportunity to be on it," Benedict answered back. "It's not about exercise, it's about being on the front line when the need is there. It's about defending this crew, and it's about being a part of this ship's family. Lieutenant Casey informs me that you do well in physical training, you're a good marksman, you excel when you're alone in simulations, but put you in a small team where everyone relies on everyone else and you seem to develop a problem." His tones were measured, his previous anger showing itself in his eyes and the slight clench of his jaw. "The TAC Team is a close unit formation, Ensign. They have to rely on each other to get the job done. You aren't a loner here. No one is. Your mercenary career has trained you for the fight but not for the team. Do you want to be on the TAC Team?"

Andrea smiled. "Thank you for the opportunity to look like a fool, Lieutenant. Like I don't have enough problems fitting in here as it is. As for the Knights, they expected us to take care of ourselves, you learned after a while that depending on people just didn't work because not everyone is dependable. On top of that, most assignments given to us were usually a one or two person team type assignments, more than that, and there was a chance of losing someone. We were a family...yet we were able to get past this thing that Starfleet seems to deem important: teamwork."

"It's Lieutenant Commander, Ensign, and you're welcome." He leaned back in his chair and almost glared at the woman. "Why in hell are you even in Starfleet? Did they suspend all sense and reason when they dragged you into uniform? Get past this thing called teamwork? Where do you even get an attitude like that? I'm not going to get past it, neither is Lieutenant Casey or Chief Case or any other serving member of security here on the Sulu. Give me one good reason why I should put up with you? What good are you? Because I sure as hell don't need a rogue loner. Our first little encounter on Risa wasn't all that endearing."

"It's kind of hard to act as a part of a team when all I do is sit in this very office handing out assignment details all the time. I didn't become a Security officer just to play 'girl Friday.' " She wasn't smiling any longer. "Aand I didn't quite appreciate the opportunity to look like a fool in front of everyone on board this ship. I know I have a less than desired past, but it was a part of that history that attracted an admiral to me and suggested I join Starfleet. It wasn't my idea, but it was the only way he would get me an early release from the penal colony, I'd have been stupid not to accept."

"And that means that I'm stuck with you?" T'Kal asked with a touch of contempt. "I put you on the TAC Team because I wanted to give you a chance to become part of the team. The extra drills, the physical exercise, and the grueling training are all designed to make you one of Sulu's best security officers. I doubt if anyone considers you a Girl Friday! Hell, Collins, you should have been a bloody Enforcer! Get with the program. Change your attitude and learn to fit in, or I'll ship you home. I'll give you a month to get sorted out. You're required to attend daily counselling. As of now your duty shift is in the Armoury with Chief Case and drills with the TAC Team. Understood?" Benedict's violet eyes drilled into the redhead.

"I'd be the 'bloody enforcer' if I'm allowed to be." She swung her arm out to indicate 'sometime ago,' "That rescue mission we went on had me sitting on my ass in the damned shuttle waiting for everyone else to show up. I didn't even have a chance to show what I was made of because Case and Casey have a problem with me being on their precious team. Why the hell don't you just toss me in the brig and forget about me so you don't have to bother with me being on your 'precious' security detail as well?"

Benedict frowned. "You didn't think they had you guarding the shuttle because it was their only way out and they knew you could handle it? I suppose that wouldn't have occurred to you? That someone had to do that, and the rest of the team worked well together couldn't be the reason, right? We're Starfleet Officers, Andrea, we don't shoot everything in sight, we don't let the Girl Friday sit on her ass in a shuttle for no good reason. Everyone has a part to play, every part is just as important as every other part. When you learn to work with others and be responsible for whatever part you are given, then you'll be a good security officer. This attitude you have - wanting to be in on the action - it's the same attitude as Ken Smith, and he's dead. That's where it'll get you. I don't want to throw you into the damned brig, Andrea. I want you to drop the crap and be a part of the security team. It's all up to you. What'll it be?"

"I'm not the 'sit on my ass' type, Commander." She didn't want him correcting her on his rank a second time. "I like the action. I'd be more willing to work with the team if I wasn't given the low profile assignments." She had loved the sneaking around during the last mission. The one where the ship had been taken over by the alternate universe people. The attacking by the seat of the pants thing was just her style. The one thing she had hated about it was sitting around a lot in the Jefferies tubes waiting for the proper opportunity.

"That's exactly why I put you in that team to begin with," he said a little exasperated. "If you can't show that you can be trusted with the assignments you get, how can you expect to be given the really important ones? It's a small team. Everyone has to pull their weight. You're too full of attitude to work with others. You have a problem with authority, you buck the system and you're never satisfied with what you get. Low profile assignments? So far you've raided a planet and rescued a member of the crew, retaken the Sulu from hostile forces, taken part in a raid on a vastly superior ship to rescue the captain...just how high a profile are you looking for, Andrea?"

"I was the one sitting on her ass in the shuttle during that first rescue mission. I was left behind. Sure, rescuing the ship from hostile forces was great fun, but come on, we sat on our asses most of the time, and rescuing the captain? I was the one who brought up the tail, that in and of itself was okay because there was danger no matter where we looked." She just shook her head; no one on this ship understood her. No one, not even this man in front of her. The counseling sessions she was having didn't seem to be helping it seemed.

"You're an adrenalin junkie, aren't you?" he asked seriously. "You want to be where the action is...where the fire is hottest and where the razor cuts...but those times are few and far between, Andrea. In the time in between we all get to sit on our asses. Security work in the fleet is months and months of boredom and a few seconds of intense gut-wrenching action that can kill you dead - just like Smith. If you go looking for the action, Andrea, you will end up dead. Believe me." He looked into her eyes for a moment and then leaned forward and held her gaze. "I know what it is to go looking for your own death. I see you doing the same thing I did during the Occupation of Bajor and still a long time after. I've buried my ghosts, Andrea. What are yours?"

"When did you change to counseling, Commander?" she smirked, She couldn't help it. He was her immediate supervisor, and yet suddenly he'd changed from the Chief of Security to the head counselor. "I already have one counselor, I don't need two." However, she had to admit, even to herself, she did like the rush that the hint of danger always gave her; it was almost more than she could stand sometimes when she had to sit there all the time. It was harder at times when she was assigned to something, like the rescue of some months ago, and she was sitting in the shuttle when everyone else was putting themselves on the line. That was why she'd taken the Admiral up on his deal. She'd had the largest dose of adrenalin during the Dominion war, when she'd been tortured. She still bore the scars of that one and they were a badge to her. One of a job well done, one that will be with her the rest of her life, even though nowadays most all scars could be healed with a sealer, but she preferred to wear her badges, sometimes showing them off.

It was that hint of danger that kept her doing things on board that she knew she could wind up being sent off ship for. Her behavior with the First Officer when she first boarded, her outrageous outfit to the engagement party some evenings ago, and the resulting encounter with Dwayne and his friends. Everything so far gave her a smaller thrill than her encounters with the Jem Hadar had given her during the war.

Benedict watched her reaction and knew that he'd been close to the mark. As he sat back he said, "Leadership involves counselling sometimes, Andrea, and you can get your thrills in other things rather than combat. Have you ever tried orbital surfing?"

Orbital Surfing? She shook her head. She couldn't think of anything to say...that was unusual for her. She always had a comeback for someone...and nothing now. This may surprise Benedict somewhat.

Benedict grinned. "Then you haven't experienced the ultimate adrenalin hit." He laughed softly. "I'm a junkie too, Andrea. It's almost like a combat drop from orbit, but you use a grav board and you travel a hell of a lot faster...so it's kinda dangerous. You have to learn in the holodeck - but the real thrill is to do it for real. Want to give it a shot?"

She looked at him, all confused. Him inviting her to do something with him? This more than anything confused her.

Benedict smiled. "You look like no one's ever asked you to do something fun before. What's the matter? Caitian got your tongue?" He grinned good naturedly.

"Well, sir, it's not that..." Sir? Where'd that come from? "I...I came in here expecting to be torn up one side and down the other, and then told to go along my merry way. The 'torn up one side and down the other' has happened, but so far, I haven't heard you order me on my way..."

"That's because I haven't finished, Ensign." Benedict's smile was gone, but he didn't sound too troubled. "I'm sure that every encounter you've ever had with a senior officer has been to get ripped up and tossed out. I don't want to do that to you, Andrea, because that's just adding to your problem. I'd rather fix it and make you a part of the team. That's part of my job description. I'll authorize an extra couple hours a week for you in the holodeck for advanced training purposes. I'll also give you access to some programs I have. If making it dangerous is your idea of a good time then go ahead. Get your thrills on a holodeck - and apply yourself to being a part of the team. Every Security Officer on this ship is expected to support and backup every one else; you are included in that. Whether you like it or not, you are considered to be part of this team. We'll back you up in a firefight, that's never questioned - you don't have to look out only for yourself here. Get that bloody chip off your shoulder and play nice! Or else." He smiled. "Now you can get the hell out of my office."

Andrea stood, and she was all confused. She'd managed to hide the confusion 'till after she'd left his office. Then she sat down just outside the office to mull over what was talked about while inside...and she still couldn't figure that man out, and it was likely that she never would. Him or any male alive.

---

"Dubious Offerings"
By: Captain Matt Salinger
Commander Lyrr Tayla
Ensign Shirik Lektar

Location: Conference Room, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 10h15

***

The dynamics of Operations were quickly changing, though still shrouded in uncertainty. Lyrr had yet to hear Farrell's decision on her offer, and she truly wasn't sure if he would accept - whether he did or not impacted Shirik's future in the department, but for now she would be offered just as important a position.

Lyrr had her doubts about the woman, for as talented as she seemed, her personality was ill-suited to a position of leadership. She was anti-social, highly selective in who she found tolerable, and still a mystery to Lyrr and Matt, qualities that didn't inspire confidence in her ability to lead. But, it couldn't be denied she was the only one for the job.

Upon her arrival at the conference room, Lyrr and Matt watched her from the table. Lyrr appeared slightly dubious.

Shirik made her way inside. She had been summoned to meet with the Captain and the First Officer, neither of which she'd even seen in person more than a time or two. To her mind, it could only mean some sort of bad news. She went over the events of the past few weeks and tried to recall anything she might be about to be reprimanded for, but nothing came to mind. Maybe it was something else, maybe something had happened to Caly, or Ben... She decided not speculate, and tried to compose her features so as not to reveal her trepidation.

When the doors closed, her hands were folded behind her back. Her violet eyes flicked from Lyrr to Salinger and she stood at attention. "Ensign Lektar reporting as ordered."

The captain motioned to one of the chairs across from where he and Lyrr sat. "Please, Ensign," he said, "have a seat." He flashed her a grin. "And, at ease." He turned slightly aside, squeezing his left eye shut and reopening it. When that didn't clear the blur that had obscured his vision, he blinked rapidly. After a moment, he guessed his new eye reset itself because his vision cleared. He shook his head and made a mental note to swing by Sickbay after the meeting.

Shirik nodded, and moved to slip into an empty chair, avoiding looking too closely at the captain and his new artificial eye. The prosthetic only served to remind her of recent events she'd rather forget, and she didn't want to appear to stare. She folded her hands on the tabletop in front of her to occupy them.

Salinger returned his attention and focus to the Drokari woman. "Commander Lyrr and I have been reviewing your activities aboard the ship. Normally, this would be a job we'd allow Sam, as your direct superior, to handle, but given the nature of relations between your homeworld and the Federation, and since neither of us have had much contact with you, we've decided to do this ourselves, with Sam's approval of course. We were impressed with how you handled yourself during the recent crisis, especially including your work on the station. While we feel that you may be somewhat closed off to many of the crew, we do like the results you've managed to acquire. This sort of thing gets you noticed, and rewarded." He glanced aside at Lyrr, his mouth curling into a slightly lopsided grin.

"And promoted," Lyrr added, her expression deadpan.

One eyebrow climbed upward in a very Vulcan-like way on Shirik's forehead as she listened.

"Congratulations, Lieutenant junior grade Lektar," Matt said as he produced a small case with a second pip to be added to her collar. "Additionally, you're being made officially the Chief of Computer Operations aboard ship."

Only the barest hint of a smile turned up the corners of her mouth, but her excitement was evident in the sudden lighting up of her eyes. "Thank you, Captain," she said, her voice mirroring that same excitement. She half-stood from her seat and hesitated. This was her first promotion since being assigned to a ship, and she didn't know whether to remain sitting, to stand, or to take the case. She turned her gaze to the captain for some guidance on the matter.

"You're not dismissed yet, Lieutenant," Lyrr reminded her as Matt continued to smile at the Drokari. "There is the still the matter of determining whether you believe yourself capable of handling the responsibility that comes with this new title."

Shirik's gaze snapped to Lyrr as she let her body fall back to the chair once more. "I hadn't assumed I was," she said. "I'm unfamiliar with the protocol that goes along with being promoted." She paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. "I'm not sure exactly what this new title entails."

"With rank comes additional responsibilities," Matt explained. "In your case, those responsibilities will be pretty much anything to do with the ship's computers. While it isn't considered a senior staff position, you will be called upon from time to time to sit in on meetings when they revolve around your particular area of expertise."

"And you will have operations officers under your leadership," Lyrr added. "Officers you will be commanding, officers you may be responsible for in matters involving computer operations. Do you believe you can do that? Are you willing to take that on?"

Shirik re-folded her hands in front of her and nodded. "Yes, sirs. I am."

Lyrr scrutinized the woman, wondering truly if her personality was suited to the position she had just accepted. There was little choice, now. Her attention shifted to Matt, who had risen from his seat and was circling the table. Lyrr rose, nearly synchronous with Lektar.

Matt Salinger moved around until he was standing in front of Shirik. He smiled at the Drokari woman as he held the box with her new pip inside. "Congratulations, Lieutenant. You've earned it." He took the pip out of the box and held it before him.

Shirik got to her feet as they did, and stood at stiff attention while the captain approached her. She hesitated for a moment, unsure what she was supposed to do next, then reached to take the pip and pin it onto her collar. "Thank you, Captain," she said. Then she turned to look at Lyrr and added, "And you, Commander."

"And, thank you, Lieutenant," Matt said. "This is as much your doing as anything we've done. You've more than earned this promotion and position."

"I second that," Lyrr appended, and disarmed Shirik with an unexpected smile.

She nodded to both of them, and returned Lyrr's smile with one of her own.

"Unless you have any questions, Lieutenant Lektar," Matt said, "I guess we can let you get back to work. Congratulations again, Shirik."

"No, sir. Thank you." She straightened her back, then turned to leave the room.

"You know," Lyrr mused, watching the Drokari slip out, "I'd say she was almost...happy."

Matt chuckled and returned to his chair. "Almost," he said, still grinning. "Well, I think that's the last of them for now. How are we doing on our repair progress? I'd like to reach our destination within two days, if possible. That'll give us a chance to let the crew have some relaxation time, as well as time to get the ship back in shape."

As they settled into discussing the upcoming repair schedule, Matt couldn't help feel just a little better after having rewarded their crew for jobs well done. Hopefully, the worst was behind them...though each new day would be an adventure.

---

"Among Friends"
by Kit Markham
Tchalla Mel'chir
and Kelzira Rax

Location: Auditorium, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 12h05

***

The Sulu's small auditorium was nearly silent and mostly deserted. In the center of the stage, a piano sat, soft sounds drifting lightly into the air and spreading their way out into the darkness. At the keyboard, Kit Markham sat, fingers idly working over the polished keys. At his side, leaning with her back against his side, sat Tchalla Mel'chir. As Kit stroked the keys, Tchi lent her voice to the music.

"Have you talked to her?" Kit asked as he changed the tempo of the song.

The answer came not from Tchalla, but from where Kelzira was lying on the floor in front of the piano. "Not yet," she said. "She's been pretty much avoiding everyone except the counsellors."

Kit nodded. "I saw her the other day," he said. "She doesn't look happy. It took all my strength not to go to her."

"How long?" Kelli asked.

"Four hours now," Kit answered. He'd been very busy since they got back to their own universe, working on the bridge every eight hours. The whole ship had been pretty busy since they returned between repairs, surveys, damage control, and mourning. Most of the time, Kit felt like a zombie, and looking around at many of the other faces, he knew he wasn't alone. "Plenty of time left."

Kelli angled herself so she could see his face from the other side of the piano. "When's the last time you slept?"

"Not sure."

Tchi stopped singing and turned back to him. "You should," she said, her voice small and quiet. "You don't want to fall asleep while flying the ship."

Kit glanced to Kelli, who gave him a warning look. "I'm fine," he said. "Don't worry, I'll get a couple hours before I have to be on the bridge."

"Good," Tchalla said, then returned to her song.

They sat in silence for a long time, the piano and Tchi's voice the only sounds in the room. They'd spent most of their free time together, consoling each other in the absence of their friend and giving each other the strength to keep on moving forward. Except for the brief performance at the wake, the Suluists had had no time to get together. It felt like everything was fracturing, drifting apart. But at least they had each other, friendships that were growing stronger with each passing shift.

If they weren't playing music and talking, they were trying to figure out what new information they could find regarding Amy. There was very little to be had, at least not without asking Counsellor Scott directly. And, all three knew the Counsellor would not talk to them about Amy's condition. They could only hope that Amy would soon seek them out.

"I should get back to the Astrometrics lab," Tchi said. "That cloud should be at a good range now. I want to have a report to Lt. Tagliesh by the end of Beta Shift."

Kit gave Tchalla a smile, and freed a hand from the piano to give her shoulder a squeeze. "See you in about twelve hours, Blue," he said. She gave him a grin, and slipped off the bench for a private goodbye with Kelli.

The two shared a passionate kiss and promises to get together in an hour provided Tchi was finished with her work. After another kiss, Tchalla hurried out of the auditorium, stopping at the door to wave to her friends.

Kit and Kelli stayed as they were for several minutes, him playing, her just laying on the floor and listening. He shifted tempos again, and as he played on, Kelli came and took a seat next to him. She sat for several minutes as he played before her hands joined his on the keyboard. Kit smiled as they played together, allowing himself to get lost in the music. It was a nice distraction, a needed release from the stresses life intended to smother him with.

"I've got some more for you," she finally said.

"Good," Kit answered. "I finished off the last of them earlier, before my last shift."

"I'll see what I can do about more during Gamma while Tchi's asleep."

"She doesn't suspect?"

Kelli shook her head. "No, she's a pretty sound sleeper," she said. "On the good side, Lt. Tagliesh almost said something nice about my work yesterday."

"Almost. Wow."

Kelli laughed. "It's the best I've gotten from her since I came aboard. I just...it's just...Tchi's so brilliant and smart, and she manages to get so much work done. I just...I'm trying to keep up, especially after being so...unproductive early on."

"Don't push yourself too far, and don't push her away," Kit cautioned.

"Don't worry," Kelli said with a wistful smile. "I could never do that to her. I love her more than anything." They'd stopped playing and Kelli reached into a pocket and pulled out a small case.

Kit accepted the case from her and opened it. Inside was a row of four hyposprays. He took a breath and let it out. "Thanks, Kel."

"Anything for a friend," she said with a grin. "Now, I need to go get some things done. Will you be alright?"

"I'll be fine," Kit said. "I should go grab some food, and maybe an hour or two of sleep before I have to get back on the bridge."

"Good luck," Kelli said, then gave him a hug. "I'll see you later when you get off-shift. Maybe we can go track down Amy and see if she's up for talking."

"I think I'd like that," he said as they stood and started toward the door. They stopped before the door and he turned to her. "Thanks for being a friend, Kel."

"I couldn't be anything but," she said, then hugged him again. They clung to each other for several moments, just enjoying the closeness of their friendship, of the hope they felt for the future. She turned her face toward his and smiled. "See you later, Kit." With that, she gave him a kiss. The past they shared and the loneliness Kit felt with Amy's absence gave the kiss just enough passion to make it dangerous. As the kiss lingered, they held each other closer and more passionately.

Kit finally pushed himself away, gasping for breath. "I'm sorry," he rasped. "I shouldn't have...it..."

Kelli kissed the end of his nose. "Don't worry," she said. "We're friends, and...we kissed. Perhaps it was a little more..."

Kit looked away. "It was..."

"Nice," Kelli finished for him. "Kissing is nice. And, we do care for each other, Kit. I'd be very offended if I kissed you like that and you didn't feel anything, especially considering what we've shared."

"We shouldn't be kissing like that," Kit said. "What about Amy? What about Tchalla?"

Kelli sighed. "I don't know what she'd think, but you are the first person I've kissed since she and I got together. I think she'd understand. I'll talk to her later, to make sure she's okay."

"Good," Kit said with a nod.

"And, if you kiss Amy like that next time you get a chance to kiss her, she won't be able to resist you." She looked down at the case in Kit's hand. "And, don't overdo that stuff. Too much, and people will start to notice. You'll be jittery worse than Monica."

"Good point," he said. "Maybe I should carry around a big mug of raktajino, just in case."

Kelli laughed, kissed his cheek, and opened the door. "Good plan," she said. "I'll see you later, Kit. Keep positive and we'll get through this."

"You too," he said.

"And, don't run the ship into anything."

Kit shook his head and started the other way. Something to eat, a couple hours of sleep, and one of Kelli's miracle hypos, and he'd be good as new.

Well, not quite, he thought. Not until I make peace with Amy, and we figure out where we're headed.

Then he'd be good as new.

---

"Just Deal With It"
by Marp
Kit Markham

Location: Bridge and Marp's Quarters
Stardate: 57910.27, 16h00

***

Marp sat at the helm of the Sulu; he was weary and looking forward to getting some sleep. He and Kit were alternating 8 hour shifts on the bridge. Marp was worn out and depressed. He was also certain that his rotten luck had returned to him the minute they returned to their own universe.

Marp looked at the chronometer, as he expected Kit walked onto the bridge and headed towards the helm. "Hello," greeted Marp, "Congratulations on your commendation." Marp suppressed a tinge of jealousy.

"Hey thanks," Kit said with a smile. "I hear you did some great flying to get the Sulu out of there." He felt bad that Marp hadn't been rewarded for his flying, especially considering everything that had happened since they returned. "How you holding up? Eight-on, eight-off isn't easy to manage, that's for sure."

"I'm holding up. I enjoy flying the Sulu, she is a great ship, even as beat up as she is." Marp looked at Kit as he got up out of help seat. "How about you?"

Kit smiled. "About the same. It's a trick trying to juggle work time, social time, and sleep time. I think I've got it down though."

"See you in 8 hours," said Marp. Marp left the bridge. He thought briefly about getting something to eat but decided against it. Instead, he returned to his quarters and threw himself onto his bed.

Marp spent about an hour looking at the ceiling. He just could not sleep. The whole alternate universe thing had been good for him in many ways, but it had been costly all the same. The only person he could even remotely consider a friend on the Sulu had been Ken Smith and the idiot had gone and gotten himself vaporized.

They were short staffed at the helm and he had been working hard to keep the ship pointed in the right direction. Kit had mentioned time for socializing; Marp wondered how that was even possible as he was way too exhausted to even think about that. Now, there was word that some of the former Enforcers were going to be allowed to work openly on the ship. Marp did not like that at all. His mind flashed back to the memory of Hadek holding that pain stick to his head and he shuddered.

To top it all off it seemed to him that he was the only person who did not get a commendation after their escape. He was maybe not the greatest pilot, but he did get everyone though the gate. Marp decided that it was because he was a Ferengi. Marp wondered if he should talk to someone about that, but decided that there would be no point in that, besides, he decided to live and work with the humans so he would have to put up with their distrust.

"Just deal with it," he told himself. He turned out the lights and soon was asleep.

---

"Starting Over"
By: Ensign Kit Markham
Ensign Amy Reese
Lieutenant j.g. Tchalla Mel'chir
Ensign Kelzira Rax

Location: USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 16h05

***

Ordered to commence shortened duty shifts once again, Amy had no choice but to leave her quarters when she would have otherwise been content holing herself up in them forever. She had visited the lounge with Counsellor Scott, at the counsellor's suggestion, and even then felt all eyes studying her, some likely staring resentfully, for she'd no doubt the entire ship had heard of the incident involving Emma Summers.

She'd pleaded with the counsellor to delay her clearance for duty, to give her more time for gathering the courage to return, but of course the counsellor had sent her on her way. Now, after four hours of walking with head down, performing her work in silence and hoping no one would strike up a conversation, Amy Reese rushed out of sickbay to seek out her quarters. She kept her eyes lowered to avoid drawing attention to herself.

The holodeck, as always, was an adventure. They had opted to make use of a spy thriller program that Tchalla had apparently been hoarding to herself. The trio had donned the guise of intergalactic secret agents, sent deep behind Romulan lines to thwart the attempted assassination of an important Romulan senator, the repercussions of just such an action would have shattered the relations between the Federation and Romulan Empire forever. Having finished up in the holodeck, Kelli wanted to stop by their quarters before heading on to the lounge.

As they rounded the corner, Tchalla suddenly stopped. At her side, so did Kit and Kelli. All three focused on the sight before them: Amy Reese, approaching from the other direction. Her head was down and she looked so forlorn. To watch her, it tore Kit's heart in two.

"Amy," he said softly.

She only glanced up briefly, then hastily away again. Her strides lengthened, reflecting her desire to flee the situation, though as she passed them, Amy couldn't help one last look up at Kit. Her lips quivered into a rueful smile, but she knew it was best for all if she simply kept on walking.

"Amy," Kit said before she could get too far away, "you're looking great. It's really good to see you."

Her legs continued carrying her off, but Kit's surprising affability raised her head in shock and stopped her. After their explosive fight in the brig, she had expected nothing but derision from him. But his voice sounded almost...pleasant. Still, she feared turning around and learning it wasn't kindness she'd heard, but sarcasm. Amy sighed and hesitantly proceeded forward again.

"Maybe we can talk later," Kit said again, fighting back the pain of just watching her walk away. He had to stay strong and positive though, that's what he'd been told. "If you're up for the lounge, we could...could have a raktajino or something."

But she'd escaped into the turbolift, her back to the closing doors. From the angle of her body, they could see the depressing slump of her shoulders, and the glint of metal around her finger. It was Kit's ring.

As he watched her walk away, even though she was walking away, Kit couldn't help feeling just a glimmer of hope. He turned back to Tchalla and Kelli, and nodded to them. And, they moved on.

***

The three of them sat together in the lounge. On one side of the table, Tchalla and Kelzira sat together, snuggling as they sipped from mugs. Kit sat on the other side, glancing between his two companions and off at the door. He sighed, and turned back. She probably wasn't going to show up. She wasn't ready yet...or maybe not interested.

He lifted his mug and sipped from it, or tried to. It was empty. He signaled to Stencil to bring another and sunk down into his chair. He couldn't help thinking about her, about how almost frightened she'd looked. It broke his heart to see it.

Stencil arrived with his usual, knowing smile and tray in hand. Setting down Kit's drink, he gave him an encouraging nod, then drifted off. His wide frame no longer obscured the doorway from Kit's line of sight, and in the time it had taken him to deliver Kit's order, Amy had appeared.

She was in a long skirt coloured a subdued black, and a long-sleeved sweater to match. Her hair seemed drab compared to the vibrant shades that had livened it up before the mess with Emma; she was back to her plainly-styled strawberry blonde, something that wouldn't gain her attention. Her eyes scanned the crowded room timidly, and she refused to step over the threshold, preventing the doors from closing. Only when bumped lightly by a couple entering the lounge did she move, and it was to nearly turn and flee as if spooked.

Kit froze when she walked in, unable to move. He stood up slowly, his eyes never leaving her. He was moving forward before he realized it; he was moving toward her. As he drew closer, a smile slowly appeared on his lips. He felt his heart beating rapidly, fear and trepidation gripping him, but he couldn't hide the happiness at seeing her. "You look great, Amy," he said once he was close enough. "Wanna come sit with us?" He slowly held a hand out to her, trying not to be too quick in his actions for fear of frightening her off.

She smiled awkwardly and hesitantly reached for his hand. When their fingers touched, Amy balked and her hand flinched away. She chuckled abashedly and laced her fingers behind her back. "It's...it's really busy in here," she whispered. "I don't know if I'm ready for all these people yet."

"We could go to the other lounge if you'd like, Amy," Kit said. "There's a lot fewer people there, if there are any people there at all."

"And...and we'll talk?" she asked uncertainly. "Just you and me?"

"If you'd like," Kit said gently. "Or we could just sit together, have a raktajino."

Amy's lips stretched into what initially appeared to be a smile, but when accompanied by a sob, Kit realized it was a frown of despair. "I was horrible," she whispered. "I-I don't deserve all this, I don't deserve your kindness."

"Whatever happened," Kit said, "I still love you. You don't deserve to be treated differently, treated worse." He held his hand out to her. "The other lounge?"

Amy nodded solemnly and gripped Kit's hand shakily. "Where it's quiet," she murmured, blinking away hot tears. "Where we can talk. I really want to talk, Kitty."

Kit nodded and led the way out of the lounge. Before leaving, he looked back to where Kelli and Tchalla sat. They were watching him expectantly, encouraging him as well as they could from across the room. He gave them both a smile, and slipped out of the room with Amy.

As predicted, the other lounge was empty. Kit led the way inside and gestured to an open table near the door. "Is this one alright?"

Amy considered his choice, and shook her head. Surprising Kit with a smile, she led them to the next vacant table, one next to a viewport. "So we can watch the stars," she explained as they took their seats. "And so, if I get the urge to escape, I won't be close enough to the door to do it."

Kit smiled. "Alright," he said, then the smile became even brighter. "They've got me pretty busy in flight control," he said as they settled in. "Marp and I are working eight on, eight off shifts. I've been spending most of my off-time with Tchi and Kelli. They're good friends."

"They are," Amy agreed. "I mean...they snapped me out of my stupid daze." She watched Kit across the table, and whispered, "So stupid. I hurt you badly, didn't I?"

Kit nodded. "But, I'm doing better now," he said. "I mean, we're talking again."

She smiled wanly. "Sort of. I mean...I imagine you want to hear about what happened with Emma...or whoever she was really."

"Only if you want to tell me," Kit said. "If you don't want to, or aren't ready to, it's alright."

"Well...do you want to hear about it?" she asked softly. "It was just...so twisted, Kit. The things she said and did...." Amy's brow furrowed as she worked to drive off the troubling memories. Her features relaxed, however, when her hand found Kit's. She smiled at him bashfully. "You don't mind?"

"Not at all," Kit said with a smile, then gave her hand a squeeze. "If you want to tell me, then I'd like to listen...but only if you want to, Amy."

"I want to," she answered. "But not to hurt you again. I know now that...that she didn't love me, that our love for each other was the only real thing. Because of that...I'm not even sure if telling the tale is worth it." Amy's eyes lit up hopefully as she lay her other hand upon his forearm affectionately. "Instead...we should just move on and maybe...start over?"

Kit covered her hand with his and smiled. "I'd like that, Amy," he said. "From the beginning, where we can become friends. I think we moved too fast before. But, I know that I do love you, and...whatever we need to do to make us work again, I want to do it."

"Me too," she whispered, her voice growing tight and hoarse with emotion. "Even if we don't end up a couple...I don't think I could lose you as a friend. I'm just sorry I've hurt you so much in the past...I hope we can work towards forgiveness for that."

"Definitely," Kit said softly, his own emotions a turmoil. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "Whatever happens, Amy, I will always be your friend. Whenever you need me, for whatever reason, I'm here. I know we've had our problems, but there's no one in my life I've been closer to than you. To lose you in my life would be like losing music."

"You won't lose me again," she told him gently. "I mean, I did keep this." Raising her hand, she waved her fingers to show off the ring she still wore. "I hope I can still wear this...even if we are just friends."

Kit smiled and caught her hand in his. He kissed it, thankful that she was still a part of his life. "Of course you can," he said. "Though, since I guess we're not technically engaged, for now you won't be able to wear it on your finger." He reached into his uniform tunic and pulled out a gold chain. He unclasped it from behind his throat, then carefully removed the ring from Amy's finger and slid it onto the chain. With a smile, he then put it around her neck. "There, I think that's perfect...for now."

Amy craned her neck forward to look at the ring-made-pendent, then giggled happily and closed her fingers around the band. "Perfect..." she declared. "And soon...maybe everything can be the same."

Kit smiled hopefully and took her hand again. "Maybe," he said. "I'd like that very much."

They both sat in silence, watching the stars and Amy once in a while stealing a glance in Kit's direction. When he caught her doing so, she chuckled abashedly and quickly looked away.

Things were mending, even though they weren't saying a word, but as his thumb began brushing soothingly over the back of her hand, Amy knew there was very little to worry about now. She sighed happily and leaned her chin on her fist, savouring the moment of her redemption.

---

"A Gift Between Friends"
By: Ensign Shirik Lektar, Operations
CPO Calyca Boothroyd, Engineering

Location: Boothroyd's quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.27, 16h20

***

Shirik made her way to her friend's quarters. She was still in uniform as she tended to be even when off duty lately. She only dressed otherwise for her training sessions in the holodeck or the gym. She'd even taken to sleeping in her uniform, swapping it for a fresh one after her morning shower. It helped her feel safe.

In her hands was a dark wooden box with shiny brass hinges and clasp. She held it in both hands, as if it were something very fragile, or very precious. It wasn't heavy, though, and she balanced it in one hand as she reached to ring the chime.

Calyca looked up from where she was sitting on the sofa with her legs stretched out. She had spider parts in her lap and spiders covied around her. "Computer, who's at the door?"

"Ensign Lektar," it answered promptly.

"Ahhh..." she smiled. "Computer, let her in please. Booter security override Alpha-One-Nine." And the door swooshed open in front of Shirik. "Hey," Caly smiled and waved from the couch before scattering the spiders into hiding.

Shirik stepped inside, offering her friend a smile. "I hope I'm not intruding," she said, eyeing the scattering spiders.

"Of course you're not. You're a welcome distraction," Caly assured her. "Computer, secure the door. Booter security override Alpha-Two-Tango," she commanded, giving Shirik a small wry smile and light shrug, watching as she approached.

She moved to sit near Caly. "I brought you something," she said, indicating the box with a nod as she set it gently on Caly's lap.

"What is it?" Caly asked and ran her fingers over the wood, feeling its texture and then looking up at her friend with a smile.

"Open it up and see," she smiled back.

Caly eyed her a moment and then smiled as she lifted the lid to the box and peered inside.

Laying within on a bed of red velvet was a shiny black blade like the one Shirik wore strapped to her thigh. The hilt was wrapped in soft leather, and the blade had a keen edge and Drokari runes etched into its length. "It's only a replica, but it's the best I could do with a replicator. Only a scan would reveal it's not the real thing," Shirik said. "I'll try to get you a real one someday."

"Oh Shirik..." Caly blinked and ran her fingers over the knife. "It's beautiful.... I thought you'd just have an extra knife laying around or something... But this. This is special..." She turned her gaze to her friend, a slight question in their depths.

"No... kemlas aren't just knives, and there are never extra ones just lying around," she said. "A kemla is given only to females, on the occasion of their birthday of maturity. Each one is personalized, the runes identifying its owner and the family the owner belongs to. No two are the same, each one is hand made by a skilled bladesmith, and a person never owns more than one." She pointed at the runes along the side of the blade facing up. "These marks indicate this blade belongs to you, Calyca Boothroyd."

Caly's fingers traced over the runes and then looked over at her friend. "Can you get in trouble for this? I know from what you said that your people don't like offworlders..."

"Technically, it's just a replica, so no," she said. "The other side has runes, too. They indicate your membership in House Lektar, the Royal House of Drokar."

"You adopting me?" Caly grinned. There was something about her that Shirik couldn't quite put her finger on, but her friend seemed happier than she had in a long time. It was something in her eyes. Something that seemed to overshadow all the hauntedness that had been there. And she looked... Settled, more confident.

"Actually, yes," she said back seriously. "I consider you a member of my family, and a more trusted member than most of them." She studied her friend, noticing the change. It was a change for the good, and she wondered what it was due to. Certainly not just her gift.

"Well, I'm certainly not going to kill you off to maintain my hold on the throne," Caly grinned. "What a wonderful gift. Thank you. I'll cherish this always." She reached out and took Shirik's hand, squeezing it gently. "Now you'll have to show me how to use it properly."

Shirik smiled back. "I will," she said. She gave Caly's hand a returning squeeze. "So, what's your news? Something has you in a much better mood than when I last saw you."

Caly's other hand reached over so that both of them were holding Shirik's. "Don't laugh," she grinned and looked excited. "And don't smirk, okay?" her grin widened and she took a breath. "Jurell and I are betrothed for real."

An eyebrow went up. "Oh?" she said, one corner of her mouth quirking upwards as well. "Imagine that."

"Hah! You look like Saavar!" Caly grinned. "At least you're not smirking," her grin settled into a warm smile. "I think I'm still in shock."

She did laugh at that. "Not I, I was only wondering what took so long. I am a bit surprised you said yes, though... When did this happen?"

"Last night. And actually... I'm surprised I did too... But it feels right. We have this connection that I can't explain, and..." she shrugged a bit and looked a little sheepish. "I'm in love with him."

She smiled softly. "I'm glad, Caly. You look happy, and I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Caly smiled back. "We aren't getting married anytime soon or anything. I told Jurell I wanted a really, really long engagement. 'Cause I have to get used to this whole relationship thing."

She nodded. "It does take some getting used to," she mused. "So, tell me what happened. Was it romantic? Did he get on his knee?"

Caly blinked. "Romantic? Down on his knee? Why ever would he do that?" she asked and shook her head. "I honestly don't have any idea if it was romantic or not," she admitted. "It was one of the most moving experiences of my life though. And technically, I asked him first... I think. Yeah... Well, kind of..." she nodded again and smiled in remembrance. "Because he didn't actually ask."

"Well, I'd heard that was the Earth custom.... I suppose Bajorans are different," she frowned slightly and quirked her eyebrow again. "Well, then tell me what happened. Start at the beginning." She smiled, settling closer for the tale.

"The beginning? I'm not going to start there," Caly actually blushed. "Anyway," she cleared her throat a little. "We were talking about the replicated bracelet I had on, and he said that it wasn't the one he'd have me wear, so then I told him what you said - that he'd ask me if he thought I'd say yes... So he asked if I would. And instead of answering him, I made him a bracelet out of some electronic wire I had, and asked if he'd say yes if I asked him..." She made a broad gesture. "And now I'm wearing his mama's bracelet," she smile.

Both eyebrows went up. "Ooohhhh.... Does that mean you...? Did you? Innocent little Caly?" she grinned.

"Cut that out...." Caly reddened even more and fwapped Shirik on the shoulder with the back of her hand. "Not so innocent."

Shirik laughed. "O-HO! Not a virgin any more, eh?" she grinned.

"Will you stop that! Christ..." she fwapped her again and was beet red now.

"Oh come on, Caly. You know you don't have to be embarrassed with me." She grinned. "Hell, this calls for a toast. What will you have?" she asked, getting to her feet to head to the replicator.

Caly snorted softly and watched her. "Between the two of you, I've been redder in the last twenty-four hours than I have my whole life.... Orange juice please."

Shirik rolled her eyes. "Orange juice? For a toast?" She turned to the replicator. "Two glasses of champagne." She returned and offered one to Caly as she settled back down. "To love, and Caly becoming a woman," she smiled and took a sip. "I don't know about on Earth, but we do celebrate that on my world. It's probably not as nice as what you had, though...." she mused.

"Dare I ask?" Caly took the champagne and sniffed it before taking a small sip. "And I don't understand how having sex makes you a woman.... What was I before the sex?"

"Probably not," she smiled. She took another sip from her own glass. "You were Caly," she shrugged. "In my culture, you were still a girl. A child. I think that's the belief in some other cultures as well. A rite of passage sort of thing..." She became thoughtful as she took another sip, and asked softly, "What was it like?"

"I'm thirty-four years old. I haven't been a child for a long time now..." she pointed out and then reddened again. "What do you mean, what was it like? It's not like I can critique it. I don't have anything to compare it to.... Uhh... Wonderful? Scary? Uhhh...." she smiled a little. "It was something I'll remember for the rest of my life."

"Well, I don't mean the sex, really... I mean, I know what that's like. But... I mean, it must be different, when both people involved actually love each other... isn't it?"

Caly blinked and looked at Shirik. "I don't know.... I don't have anything to compare it to... I only know what it was like for me... I mean.... I can't even imagine having sex with someone I wasn't committed to, let alone what it would be like.... Ick.." she shuddered a bit.

Shirik looked at her. "Ick?" She fell silent, her gaze going to her glass. She watched the bubbles make their lazy way up the liquid. Ick? Was all the sex she'd had in her life 'Ick sex'? She thought about that. 'Ick' was not the word she'd use to describe the sex she'd had with Saavar, or even with Jurell. Far from it. She frowned slightly.

Caly realized what she'd said after she saw Shirik's reaction. "Oh, Shiri... I'm sorry..." She reached out a hand and gently squeezed her arm. "I didn't mean it would be like that for you, just for me. You know we've always seen it differently. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. It wasn't my intention."

"No, it's ok..." she said distractedly. She finished the champagne in her glass. "I guess I just never thought of it that way... I mean... I've never known any other way. I can only imagine a night like what you had."

"And I don't think I could adequately describe it.... Very emotional... And... Well... Magical," she shrugged a little and smiled a bit sheepishly. "I never knew it could be like that. So... So... Connected and powerful. I cried," she admitted with a warm smile. "Several times."

Shirik's gaze rose to her friend once more. "I'm so glad it could be that way for you, Caly," she said. "I think the two of you will make each other very happy."

"Well yeah... It's not like I'm going to give him much of a choice, I'm sure," she grinned. "Or him me, most likely. It still feels like a dream, you know? I told him it was one that was going to haunt me for the rest of my life," she chuckled softly.

Shirik smiled, but couldn't help but to wonder what would be haunting her the rest of her life. Would it be the nightmares of Hadek? "I'm happy for you both," she said. "Jurell must be walking on air. I haven't seen him since we got back, I've been helping out the repair teams."

"The TAC team had light duty for the first couple of days back. Jurell's doing some kind of training thing today, I think he said. He been staying here at night since I got out of Sickbay. But I already told you that," Caly smiled. "Did you need to see him?"

"No, not really... I mean, eventually I'll want to congratulate him, but I imagine that I'll see him when we're both back on our regular rotation."

"Oh? Is he still stationed in the Computer Core?" Caly asked. There wasn't any jealousy in her eyes, really there wasn't.

"As far as I know," she shrugged. "But who knows. I've heard they're going to be changing crew schedules around, so... Maybe not." She studied her friend for a moment. "Would it bother you if he was?"

Caly shrugged. "Maybe. I'm not sure," she admitted honestly and watched the champagne swirl around in her glass. "I've never really been sure of your relationship with him. And I've always thought there was more than either of you were willing to admit. Hell, I've thought that from the very beginning when you told me he was in love with you." Caly wasn't telling Shirik anything new, they'd had this same discussion many times before. She finally raised her eyes and leveled her gaze on the Drokari woman, their green depths questioning. "How involved were you, Shirik? Really? And how involved now? You know... I smelled you on him when he came to tell me good bye before the mission..."

Shirik quirked an eyebrow and considered her answer. "He came to say goodbye to me, too. Likely my perfume was left on him after we hugged." She shrugged. "Caly, we're not involved at all. I've told you we're only friends. Seriously, I have no interest in him in any other way. Whatever he thought he felt for me, it was obviously not love, not like what you two share. How can you still think that way, now that you're betrothed?"

Caly drew in a breath and let it out in a soft sigh. "Don't chastise me, Shirik, please..." she downed the rest of her champagne. "Now... If you'd like to congratulate Jurell, there's going to be a little gathering tonight in the Crew Lounge at eighteen hundred. Engineering and Security are going to be there. It was the boy's idea at breakfast this morning," she smiled.

Shirik's expression softened. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean it to sound that way," she said. "Tonight? That's only an hour and a half from now." She set down her own empty glass. "It seems like forever since I've had breakfast with the group.... I rather miss them."

"Well, you should come. You were missed this morning actually. Everyone was asking about you. And I even think Kaven was told to carry you if you didn't come," Caly told her.

"I haven't been eating breakfast much, lately, but I'll make it a point to stop by one of these mornings. Kaven doesn't need any encouragement," she smiled a bit. The last time she'd seen him was in the cargo bay the first day the Enforcers came aboard. She suppressed a shudder at the memory of the sound of his screams.

"Stop it, Shiri..." Caly whispered quietly. "Besides, Kaven's shy," she told her. "I told him to come see how you were," she grinned. "And you should eat breakfast. Or come and socialize with the group."

She raised an eyebrow, not sure what it was she was supposed to stop, but she didn't ask. "I will," she said. "Maybe tomorrow morning."

"Good. They'll be pleased. Maybe Kate will be happier with another woman there," Caly grinned. "I think I disappointed her."

"Kate...? Oh, you mean Hansen." She shrugged. "I'm sure I disappointed her, too. It's funny, how I feel more at ease with members of Security than I do my own department."

"That's probably 'cause no one took you to breakfast with them like Jurell did Security," Caly pointed out. "Do the Ops guys even eat breakfast together? Or anything?"

Shirik frowned in thought. "As far as I know, they drink together in the wee hours of the night, and discuss such things as body hair removal techniques... At least, that was the topic the one time I was invited to join them, and I believe only because I happened to already be in the room."

"Hmmm.... What kind of techniques?" Caly asked curiously and then waved a hand. "Never mind," she smiled. "Maybe you should start some kind of gathering that isn't at midnight..." she suggested.

One eyebrow slid back up on her forehead again, then she shrugged. "I have no time for such things as arranging social gatherings. That's not my.... thing."

"You know... Social gatherings are what make a good working team," Caly offered quietly. "So it's not really a "social gathering", but more of a way for your people to find their group dynamics..."

"I had a chat on this subject with Farrell recently," she mused. "I told him that those in Security invited me, while those in Ops didn't. I said I think the Ops boys are intimidated by me." She smiled.

"But Shiri... Even if that's true... Does it matter? I mean... You're an Ops officer.... Department politics come with the job," she smiled. "Along with promoting good department interrelations. It's all part of that whole... You know... Command thing. Ya gotta learn how to smooze the masses. Comes with the territory."

"Yes, yes, I know... The chain of command isn't all that different from the political hierarchy of any government, I suppose. There's no escaping politics, even in space." She smiled a bit. "Perhaps when repairs are done and I have more free time, I will look into it."

"Good for you," Caly smiled. "See, this is why I'm a Chief. We have low-spectrum political problems."

"Ahhh yes, the burden of being in charge," she grinned. "In charge of what, I don't know. All I'm in charge of at the moment is the computer core. But someday, maybe more..."

"Oh, not just of being in charge," Caly smiled. "It's the politics and administration duties once you get up into the officer ranks. And it just gets worse the higher up you go. Hell, I have people I'm in charge of, but I don't have the other. Thaine gets that, bless his heart."

Shirik chuckled. "I see... Leaving you to do the things that are more fun, hmm? Like tinkering." She grinned and nodded. "Yes, I understand that. I never even thought about it until you just pointed it out, but the things I really enjoyed doing - holoprogramming, circuit design - I haven't really done much of in a while."

Caly nodded her understanding and smiled. "Tinkering is what I do best," she shrugged a bit. "Working with my hands.. Designing.. Fixing things.. Blowing things up. That's my passion," she grinned. "My talents would be wasted in administrative work and I knew that early on."

"True. But I was born to run something. To lead. I'll never have that chance at home, but here I can. Eventually. But you're right... I won't do it here either unless I force myself to socialize more. I'm afraid I'm not very good at that, it will take practice. So... should I go change for this gathering, or will my uniform suffice?"

"Change. The uniform makes you look stuffy and stuck-up," Caly grinned at her. "And it also reminds people that you're an officer."

"All right," she smiled, getting to her feet. "I'll try to find something less intimidating to wear. Shall I come back here, or do you want me to just meet you at the lounge?"

Something inside Caly was instantly on the defensive and didn't want Shirik to intrude between her and Jurell before the party. She knew it was because of that twinge of jealousy she had and couldn't seem to shake. Okay, more than just a 'twinge', and she hated it. "Just meet us at the lounge. If you don't want to go alone, I'll have Jurell poke Kaven..." Caly teased with a grin.

"Very well," she said, taking the hint. Three's a crowd, which she knew was how it would be. "No, that's quite all right, I think I can make it there without any help," she smiled.

"Alright, good," Caly smiled. "We'll see you there then. I'm glad you're coming. I think everyone else will be glad to see you too."

---

"Dîner Pour Deux"
By: Crewman First Class Sorg Jurell, Security
CPO Calyca Boothroyd, Engineering

Location: USS Sulu, Boothroyd's Quarters
Stardate: 57910.27, 17h00

***

She was exhausted from the rigorous physical therapy she'd undergone earlier, and everything else she'd been up to that day. She'd been asleep ever since Shirik left her, which hadn't been all that long ago. She was stretched out on the sofa with the kemla Shirik gave her hugged to her chest and it was the tapping on the end of her nose that tugged her from sleep.

She grunted and one hand moved to brush the offending tapping away with a muttered "...stop that Watson..." Then she yawned, squeaking a bit in the process, and proceeded to slip back towards sleep. Until the tapping started again, that is. She grumbled and grunted and brushed at her nose with a little more purpose.

"Dammit Watson, quit it..." she groaned. She still hadn't opened her eyes.

Jurell grinned as he squatted down next to her. She had looked so peaceful in sleep. His security override code gave him access to her quarters, and he'd come in a few minutes previously after showering and changing in his own quarters. The day had been busy, but not what he'd been previously used to. More intensive mental exertion than physical. Strategic and tactical studies, and more than half his shift running photon torpedo diagnostics on the stored weapons. Boring but necessary, and with little sleep the previous night, by the end of the shift he'd felt exhausted. The shower had done some good. That and a mug of raktajino.

He leaned down and kissed her brow, before kissing her lips softly. His cologne was fresh and enveloped her in a manly scent.

"Mmffphh..." Her exclamation of surprise was muffled by the kiss and it quickly turned into a soft moan as her arms stole around his neck and she kissed him back. "I've been waiting for you," she whispered softly against his lips and her nostrils flared lightly as she drew in his scent. "Mmmm... You smell wonderful." She was warm and flushed from sleep and he could tell that she'd taken a shower earlier because she was dressed in different clothes and the fragrant oils she used were slightly stronger.

He enjoyed the feeling of closeness again, and the Bajoran was amazed that the feeling was captured again so quickly. "I missed you," he murmured within the confines of her arms. Her eyes huge and green, and they drew him in again. He could drown in those eyes. "What are you doing with a dagger?" he asked as he picked it up.

Caly threaded her fingers through his hair before letting him pull back enough to take hold of the dagger. "It's a kemla," she told him, but he already knew that because it was just like Shirik's and the blade was even runed. "These ones identify it as my blade and the other side identifies me as being from the House of Lektar," she smiled and touched the runes. "Shiri gave it to me cause I asked her the other day if she had any spares I could have... Of course it's not a spare, she replicated it though." She drew in a breath and let it out in a soft huff before adding. "I wanted it because I don't feel safe when you're not here."

"Well," he looked at the knife and then back to her, "this won't make you any safer Cal. I don't like the idea of you carrying a knife around. It disturbs me...you don't need it." His eyes looked troubled and Jurell spoke softly, but seriously. "A phaser is more humane than a knife. You don't know what it's like to face someone with a blade. Ask yourself the serious question, Caly, can you tell me that you could shove this thing into someone's body and get covered in their blood?"

Caly reached out and curled her fingers around his wrist, brushing the warmth of the braided wire strands as she did. Her eyes gazed deeply into his. "To save my life? Or to protect yours? Yes," she answered quietly. "If I had to... Yes." He could tell just how much that troubled her. The fact that she could even say 'yes'. "I'm not going to carry it around with me. I just want.... Something. I want something here when I'm alone. I want to feel safe again."

"I'll get you a phaser," he said seriously. "I really don't like the idea of you even contemplating that kind of thing. Knives are... barbaric," he frowned. "There are some things I don't want Shirik teaching you. This" he indicated the blade, "belongs on the wall or in a nice case on the shelf."

Her hand moved from his wrist to warmly cup his face. "Alright. I just want to feel safe. The method isn't important enough to argue about," she told him and smiled softly as she brushed her thumb over his bottom lip. "Okay?"

He smiled and for a moment his eyes closed as he kissed her thumb. He took her hand in his and then nodded. "Fair enough. Are you hungry? It would be nice to relax for a couple hours before we have to get to the crew lounge."

"Starved," she answered promptly. "I don't think I've eaten since breakfast and I didn't eat much then," she admitted. "Actually... The relaxing for a couple hours sounds really nice." She leaned in and pressed her lips softly against his in a light kiss. "Really nice," she smiled softly.

"Then relax right there and I'll fix you something to eat," he kissed her back and smiled. "Won't be long." He left her on the sofa and went to the replicator.

Caly smiled warmly at him and her eyes followed him as he moved around her quarters. There was something to be said for having quarters to yourself.

It only took a few minutes to prepare the food; the wonders of 24th Century technology. Bajor still did not have replication technology, a secret for Federation Members, although with the diplomatic talks continuing for Bajor's acceptance it wouldn't be long. Federation citizens took replicators for granted and complained about the quality of food, that it wasn't like the real thing, but to Jurell it represented freedom to do what was important. He remembered his mother spending many hours in the kitchens on the farm feeding the labourers. Hour and hours and days and weeks of endless drudgery that Jurell resented on her behalf. He smiled as he served it to the table, his memories of his mother's stories by the fire at night warming him as he set out the Bajoran dishes.

Lighting three candles in the middle of the table he ordered the computer to dim the lights. Finally satisfied and noticing that Caly had watched him the whole time with a bemused smile on her face he grinned. "A touch of home," he shrugged and walked over to her. He lifted her effortlessly, carrying her to the table with her lips pressed softly to his ear and her whispered words touching him deeply.

"Je t`aime." Her warm breath washed over him. "You're spoiling me hopelessly and I adore you for it," she told him. "Thank you." She placed a soft kiss on the sensitive skin just under his ear and looked at the feast he'd prepared. "Remind me what everything is...."

"Hasperat," he pointed to the steaming dish in the center, "Juerl Root," the crispy stalks dipped in light batter, "Cold Ginli; that's a fowl that's a lot like chicken but sweeter. Salad...a few spicy dipping sauces, that one is very hot...and Iced cold Summerwine," he pointed at the ceramic pitcher. He smiled, as he sat and poured her some wine. It chinked pleasantly with ice.

"Oohh... I remember the Hasperat... We've had that before," she grinned over at him, green eyes telling him just how much she missed him. "The other two I haven't had... I don't know where to begin," she let out a soft huff of pleasure. "Maybe with the wine," she grinned as she reached to take the glass he offered her. She didn't lower it, instead holding onto it and holding it up. "A toast?" she asked softly.

He held up his glass. "To us," he said simply, holding her gaze across the corner of the table. He sat to her left instead of across the other side, preferring to sit closer. For several long moments they held each other's gaze until finally he smiled warmly at her as he touched glasses. "And a long life together." His softly spoken toast was echoed by her and they sipped the wine together as he squeezed her hand.

"What did you get up to today? Anything exciting?" he asked as he started to serve the food to her and to himself.

"Mmm..." She licked a drop of wine from her top lip. "Let's see... Breakfast with the boys, then to sickbay.... Where I cursed you for not being there, by the way, then physical therapy... Then back here to rest for a while... I tinkered a bit, and worked some.... After that, Shirik showed up and when she left I fell asleep..." She blinked. "Good gods... I've become sedentary!"

"Why did you need me in sickbay?" he frowned, as he finished heaping her plate.

She turned instantly red. "Because... Because I shouldn't have to go through that by myself," she nodded. "I mean... I had to explain stuff to Lexi... And tell her about... Well you know... I mean, I didn't know... And there was the thing... And that other thing... And dammit... I thought something was broken!" She huffed.

"Go through what by yourself?" He looked instantly concerned and he stopped what he was doing to turn fully to her. "What happened? Your legs? Is there something wrong?"

"No, no... My legs are fine," she waved a hand, still bright red. "It was... Dammit... I was still bleeding..." she let out her breath in a huff. "You know... Guys should come with a spec manual."

He looked at her for a couple of seconds, still not comprehending and then the light flicked on ."Ohhhh...." He went to say something and stopped, and frowned, and: "Err..." He was at a complete loss for words. "Salad?" he pointed to the bowl.

Caly tossed a Juerl Root at him. "I cursed you twice as a matter of fact," she told him with a small huff. "I'm not doing that by myself again. If I'd have known... It'd just be another reason why not to do relationships," she added, and instead of huffing, she let out her breath in a soft sigh and shook her head. "Hug please."

Jurell laughed and leaned into hug her, after a moment he let her go, and trailed his hand along her arm until he took her hand and kissed it. "Sorry," he said meaning it. "I didn't know...."

"I know. And it's my own damn fault. I didn't tell you. I was doing that whole... Tough it out and don't worry the 'man', thing..." She blinked and groaned. "I don't believe I just said that..."

He chuckled. "What did they say in medical? I bet you were embarrassed.. and now the whole ship will know we slept together...those nurses have a reputation for gossip."

"Oh... I don't think Lexi will..." She chewed her bottom lip a moment and then gave him a crooked smile as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed his palm. "I was mortified... I nearly cried," she admitted. "Lexi said I was fine and everything was normal, so don't worry."

"You're okay now?" he asked as his palm brushed her cheek, causing her to let out a soft sigh and lean into his touch.

"Yeah. Mostly," she smiled at him. "Now I have to take... You know... Contraceptives..." She made an ick face.

"Now you have to?" he asked. "Ohhh...well...you don't have to if you don't want to," he said softly. "I can...I wouldn't mind...."

"Well, I didn't need them b--" Caly blinked. "Oh no way.... No... Jurell.. No... I don't do babies.... They're...small...and... And... Alive... And... And... Squirmy!" She huffed. "And they don't have damn off switches."

He chuckled. "No silly...I meant I can take them. If that bothers you, if you don't want to take them that is...it's okay...I don't do babies either! That's a...well...career limitation. I'd have to look for a new line of work...and I'm not suited to...you know...no...not me." He shook his head and laughed. "Don't worry, Cal, I'm not about to get paternal on you!"

"Whew!" Her relief was comical. "See, I didn't know you could... Lexi gave me a shot this morning. Next time you get to do it, okay?" she smiled at him, more than pleased that they were in agreement on that issue!

"C'mere..." She murmured and reached out to tug him close. Her arms went around his neck and she kissed his cheek, nuzzling him warmly before whispering in his ear. "Je t`aime et vous adore, aimé."

"And I love and adore you too, Beloved," he replied softly. "Now...can we eat...I'm starving." He kissed her then drew back to finish heaping his plate. "We haven't got a lot of time...they'll expect us in the Crew Lounge soon enough."

"They'll wait," she smiled and brushed the back of her fingers over his cheek. "And yes, we can eat." She settled back in her chair and proceeded to do just that, revelling in the delicious flavors and spices of the Bajoran fare until she was sated and drinking Summerwine while she watched him eat.

"Oh... I have something for you." She grinned and looked at him over the brim of her glass.

He looked at her expectantly as he chewed. His second helping of Hesparat was almost gone. "Hmmmmm?" he asked, raising a brow.

She raised one right back and smiled at him a little hesitantly. There was that look in her eyes he was beginning to know well. The look that told him she was stepping off her normally solid ground and into those boggy places she'd never been before. "Something I made today," she explained, setting her wineglass on the table and then patting herself down, evidentially looking for it. "Ah!" she finally found it and pulled it out of the pocket she'd stuck it in. It fit totally in her hand so he couldn't actually get a good look at it yet.

"Give me your arm," she motioned to his right arm where the braided wire gleamed softly. "Please?" she smiled again. "I decided today that I didn't want to get you the real thing here... Where everything is replicated, yanno? I want it to be special... And hand made... Might even do it myself..." she explained as he offered her his arm and she rested it in her lap. She ran her fingers along the wire and found the joining, bringing it to the top of his wrist where she could see it.

"So in the meantime... I fashioned a latch." She looked up at him then and held out her hand to show it to him. It was a pewter colored spider. But with a body that was only about an inch long and a half to three-quarters of an inch wide, not including the legs. It was perfect in every detail.

"Once I put it on," she told him, "you won't be able to get it off by yourself. Takes a special Engineering tool to open it..." Jurell grinned, watching her attach it to the wire braid and completely engulf the joining.

"And... Watson and I have another little surprise," she told him with a semi mischievous grin, watching him as he quirked a brow at her in question. "Watson," she called and motioned to the spider, trying to look serious as it scampered over the table and leaped down into her lap.

"You see... It occurred to us that the wires might fray because let's face it..." she quirked a brow at him and deadpanned, "You're a rough kinda guy." He could see the amusement and the knowing look in the depths of her eyes before she continued. "So we decided that the wires needed a little reinforced binding..." As she spoke, Watson perched on his arm and with a precision that was nothing short of amazing, began to weave very delicate looking iridescent, and almost translucent black strands over and around the wires in an open weave, definitely spider-webby pattern. As she held his wrist, her thumb continued to rub softly across his pulse point.

"I had to tweak his AI some to get him to do it right, one of the other spiders would have been better, but he wouldn't hear of it..." she grinned at Jurell. Watson was moving the bracelet around his wrist as he worked. "And the webbing is a special concoction of mine... I'm not even sure you can cut it..." she mused. "Water-proof. Tensile strength that is one hundred times that of steel. And yet it's exceedingly flexible..." By the time Watson was done, the entire bracelet, save for the latch, had been laced with the strands. They picked up and glinted warmly in the subdued light and was enough of an open weave that the silver and copper strands showed through, complimenting the black tremendously.

When she'd finished she raised his arm and while gazing into his azure colored eyes she planted a soft and lingering kiss on the latch and his wrist in Bajoran fashion. "Je t`aime toujours... Always," she whispered and her breath washed over the latch and the damp skin beneath it. Her eyes held amusement, but they were also shining with the love she felt for him and he once again felt the touch of their connection as if she had shot a bolt of electricity up his arm. He let out a breath in a soft huff, almost exactly akin to the way she often did.

He withdrew his hand when she reluctantly let it go and brought it closer for examination. It was beautifully rendered and shined a dull silver. On closer examination, he could see that etched into the back of the spider was the universal sign for 'Infinity'. After a moment of silence he said, "I love it." He looked up into her eyes again. "It's perfect...thank you," he grinned.

"You're welcome, Caro... I'm pleased you like it... I think I had dragonflies in my stomach worrying..." she admitted, as Watson crawled up her arm and perched on the back of her chair. "And you know," she mused softly, letting out a soft huff before continuing. "You never actually asked me..."

He looked at her for a moment, a smile on his lips before he pushed his chair back and stepped closer to her. He got down on one knee, grinning and going slightly red as he took her hand in both of his. Gazing up into her eyes he spoke softly, his voice filled with emotion, "Calyca, I love you and I can't imagine being without you. You are the sun in my sky, the star that I will set my course by, the love of my soul...would you be my wife?" He held her gaze, his heart hammering even though he knew what her answer was going to be.

It startled her when he got down on his knee, and she had the fleeting thought that this was what Shirik had been talking about. But all thoughts of her friend fled when he started to speak. It was on the tip of her tongue to tease him with an 'I need to think about it'... But the look in his eyes along with the timbre of his voice and the words that had touched her soul, forestalled her. Instead she let out her breath in a soft huff and raised her free hand to rub her fingertips over his lips. "Oui, Caro. It would be my honor," she whispered softly, swaying slightly towards him, tears misting in her eyes. "Oui."

He kissed her then, one hand clasped in hers and the other reaching up to cup her cheek in a lingering, tender kiss that seemed to last far longer than the span of heartbeats it actually took. He pulled back just a fraction and his smile was back. "You know you're going to have to teach me how to speak French...it's a beautiful language."

"It would be my pleasure," she whispered back and softly brushed her lips over his. "And I know you understood me... But hear it in your language..." she paused for just a heartbeat and then spoke one word in his native tongue. "Yes." Her voice was soft and held an irresistibly alluring quality to it that drew Jurell back into a kiss that lingered far longer than the last, as his arms slid around her waist and hers snaked around his neck.

Finally they both needed to breathe and Jurell chuckled softly as he brushed her cheek with his lips. "You have a power over me woman.. stronger than the spider silk. I'm caught in your web..." He kissed her neck then her lobe. "From which there is no escape," he whispered.

Caly's head was swimming in the most delightful and delicious way and tiny tremors were radiating from where his lips touched her heated flesh, throughout the rest of her body. "And you have a power over me, caro. It draws me more than any technical manual ever could. It has me needing to spin a web around you. Around us," she moaned softly and pressed her breasts against his body in a blatant display of her need. "I don't ever want to escape." Her lips found that sensitive spot on his throat and she bit him softly.

Her words and the sensation of lips on his throat and her body pressing against him triggered an instant physical response in the Bajoran, and he moaned against her neck. "Prophets girl." He drew in a ragged breath as she bit him. She could ignite his passions so quickly it took his breath away. His desire made his head swim and his blood pound in his ears and he had to pull away before he lost all self-control. His eyes were filled with unveiled desire. "We have to go soon," he managed to say.

Caly saw the answering desire in his eyes and it only fueled the burning need that flared in the depths of hers. That she wanted and needed him was a palatable thing that throbbed through that connection they shared. Once her passion had been awakened it was like the flood gates opening and she had no idea how to stem the tide of them now. She was addicted. To him. To them. "Then we better be quick," she whispered against his throat when she leaned in to bite him again. She slid her hands into his hair, fingernails lightly raking over his scalp. And it was a soft moan of pleasure that vibrated against his skin when her back arched and her breasts flattened against his chest.

---

"Rivalry Transcended"
By: Ensign V.T. Chan
Ensign Amy Reese

Location: Chan's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate 57910.27, 17h20

***

Her finger hovered over the door chime, and her teeth worried at her bottom lip in a physical display of her internal struggle. All she had to do was push it, and she could begin her quest towards redemption and healing. If only she could take that next step....

Amy Reese whimpered sullenly and desisted her efforts. She was once again a failure - that was all she thought of when she turned to leave. As fate would have it, the door to the quarters she was standing before opened. Amy stopped in her tracks, and cringed. She knew immediately who it was. Hopefully he wouldn't feel the urge to slap her.

With great trepidation, she turned back around and when their eyes met, she forced a smile. "Hi...I was...am I interrupting something?"

His eyes narrowed in response to the bright light of the hallway. He liked the darkness of his room and rarely ventured out when he didn't need to. His eyes narrowed even further as he saw who it was. "It's you... What are you doing here?" Vincent's cold dark eyes stared into Amy's. She was not interrupting anything, but still, Vincent had a terrible urge to say she was and close the door in her face just to avoid her. Her waning smile stopped him however. He gave a slight smile back. It took all his energy.

"Come in," he said at last, when he realised how ridiculous the scene would look to a passer-by. "Turn the lights on while you're at it."

Amy nodded absently, surprised by his tame reaction, and followed Chan inside. She asked the computer to activate the lights, and when the room illuminated, Amy was still standing by the door. "Your...your roommate's not here?" she asked awkwardly.

Vincent shook his head. "Never had a roommate. Still don't know why...I guess the higher-ups never took notice. Sit down." Vincent motioned towards a chair. He himself took a seat at the edge of his bed.

He absentmindedly straightened the sheets, completely ignoring Amy. After a while, his nerves settled and he turned to her. "Tell me, what are you doing here? What do you want from me?"

"I-I don't want anything from you," she answered insistently. "I mean...I sorta do. I...I want you to forgive me, Vincent. All those things I said that day...." Amy looked down, shaking her head shamefully. "Emma fooled us both...she manipulated us.... Those things I said were her doing. She brainwashed me and.... I'm just so sorry."

Vincent took a good long look at Amy. How could he not believe her? Her sincerity, her grief, the look in her eyes were all things Vincent identified with. He took a deep breath and prepared his response. "You have my forgiveness. That is my honest response." Here he paused. "However, I too must apologise. The whole stress of the situation got to me. It's not everyday these things happen, you must understand." He took a quick look up to see if she did. "I got a little hot-headed and I've done things I may have regretted. I should be sorry too."

"No," Amy whispered, shifting forward to the edge of her seat. "You did nothing wrong. I was a crazy woman!" she explained. "The things I said provoked you, that's all." Smiling wanly, Amy said, "But, that's in the past, and I just wanted you to know how sorry I was and that...that maybe, deep down, she really did love you, but all her anger and resentment made it difficult for her to realize that." She shrugged. "Maybe she did love us both...but we'll never know, and it probably doesn't matter, now. We'll just" --she sighed-- "have to move on."

"You're right. We do have to move on. The real question is how do we deal with it? I mean it's not everyday you find out your pregnant fiancée,or in your case your lover, is running amok with the enemy."

"We deal," Amy answered thoughtfully, "by remembering that she never loved either of us to begin with. And we don't even know, Vincent, if the baby was really yours. That could've been a sham, too."

Vincent merely shrugged at this. "It didn't occur to me then, and it doesn't matter to me now. I was so looking forward to being a daddy..." The thought almost brought tears to his eyes again. "We don't even know anything about Emma.We thought we did. We thought we were lovers, close and intimate. But we never really knew her at all." Vincent paused as he thought back. "It sickens me - what she's done... But I think I can deal with it. I hope." Vincent looked back up. "What about you? Are you gonna get through this?"

Amy sighed and watched her thumb tracing circles upon the back of her hand. "I will...in time. Some of the things she promised me.... It's going to take time to realize they aren't coming true. She certainly knew how to manipulate people, didn't she?" She laughed weakly and glanced up at Vincent. "Well...I should get going."

Vincent almost agreed to this. However, he did not want to spend another night in the dark, cold and alone. "Wait. Don't go... Just let me throw on a shirt and we'll grab a drink. Something to drown our sorrows in. How about it? I could use the company." He looked at Amy.

She stopped herself from turning towards the door and cast him a surprised look. "You really want to hang out with me?" She grinned slowly. "Well...I'd like that. I'm just glad there are no hard feelings."

"Listen, kid," he said to Amy as he buttoned his shirt. "There aren't any hard feelings. Just to eliminate them completely you can shout me a few rounds." Vincent gave her his trademark grin. "Nah, it's cool between us. At least now we can take out Emma together."

She forced a giggle, for as much as she hated Emma, a part of her still couldn't think of harming her. "At least now," she amended, "we're both single again." Amy made a show of taking him in fully, then blushed and shook her head demurely. "I think I plan on staying that way for a while yet."

"So do I. I just got over the last one. I don't think I'm ready for a repeat performance." He gave her another grin. Running his fingers through his hair, Vincent walked over to the door and opened it. "After you, Amy. I think it's your shout first."

She grinned and poked her arm through his and linked both cheerfully. "Coming right up! And if we do get a little overwhelmed, we'll help carry each other home." Grateful for the opportunity to repent for her embarrassing behaviour, Amy gave Vincent a quick kiss to the cheek. "Thanks."

---

"Looking Ahead"
By: Lt. Brennyn Scott, RN - Chief Counselor
Lt. Natalia Druschev - Science Officer

Location: Science Lab, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.27, 20h00

***

With things settled down to a dull roar in her brain for the moment, Bree decided to take the opportunity to check on Natalia Druschev, now carrying the child of the late Shyla Moreau. Scott couldn't bring herself to attend the memorial, and even though she told herself it was because the best way to honor Shyla was to continue to help the remaining mirrorverse crew transition to the Sulu, deep down, a part of her knew she was not ready to face her own grief, not when there were still other reminders staring her in the face, demanding her attention. There was still so much work to be done. At least a visit with Natalia could remind her of the hope she still carried that there were better things to come.

Bree knocked on the outside frame of the lab, relieved to find Druschev alone. Somehow she didn't trust herself to remain completely objective for this visit. Thoughts of Shyla, like they had for days, plagued her on the way over, tiny snapshots of the last days of Moreau's life rolling in waves when she least expected it. Each time it happened, she felt as weak as a rag doll and as grief stricken as when she'd first learned Shyla was gone.

The thought of someone else carrying Shyla's baby seemed...like a nightmare. It wasn't that Bree wanted to see the child die, but knowing someone else was carrying the baby almost made it seem as though someone had stepped into Shyla's life, like nothing had happened, like nothing was amiss.

But something was amiss. Shyla was gone, and as long as her child was alive and they were waiting for Natalia to give birth so the child could be sent away, no one could really say goodbye.

And that was her biggest fear. Would Natalia be able to give this child up? Could any of them handle that? Druschev in Bree's opinion was highly emotional, and had she been given the time to evaluate her prior to the emergency implantation, Bree was not sure Druschev would have been deemed a capable surrogate.

Scott forced herself to deal with what lie ahead, and that meant pressing forward. God, give me strength. Her smile was wan, tentative. "I hear congratulations are in order."

Natalia turned at the sound of footsteps, yet the initial greeting by the senior Counselor threw her. She looked at the woman with a puzzled expression for a moment before she understood what she meant and the science officer's face did not reflect the usual joy that an expectant mother's would when being congratulated. Instead she scowled at the Counselor. "I'm sorry," she said in her heavily accented speech, "I do not feel like it is cause for me to be congratulated. It is not a prize I have won, Counselor. I am merely the biological surrogate for the child's real mother." The harsh rebuke was regretted almost as soon as she'd said it, and Natalia tried to give Brennyn a small smile. She'd been thinking of Shyla when the woman had come in, and she was feeling guilty about having the privilege of carrying her baby. "I'm sorry, Counselor, it was a natural thing to say...but never the less, I do not feel as if I am to be congratulated for anything. It was a decision based upon necessity. Now I am stuck with it. For better or for worse."

Bree wandered in and leaned against a console, taking a breath. "Actually, it was the least natural thing for me to say..." She shook her head. "I miss her too, Nat, and I'm not sure how I feel about all this."

Natalia nodded and reached over to place a hand on the Counselor's arm. "She was a good officer and a beautiful girl. Her life was taken in such a cruel way. It is hard to come to terms with that kind of crime. We do not see it as Starfleet Officers we have been shielded from that kind of thing." She looked into the Counselor's eyes with heartfelt compassion. "Who counsels the Counselor?" she asked gently. "Sometimes we do not understand how this kind of thing affects us and we all find a different way of dealing with it. Mine is to concentrate on my work and my son, and the new life I have the privilege to carry. I would turn to a friend too...but she was the one taken away." At that last her voice broke and she started to cry again.

Bree felt the sting of tears behind her eyes and although her voice was thick with emotion, she couldn't cry. They'd endured so much and after awhile she had just started to feel numb. She sniffled and knelt beside her. "And what am I, hmm? Chopped liver? You can't do this alone, Natalia, and if you'll allow me, I'd like to be there for you. It's a lot to absorb, and it can't be easy for you."

Natalia wiped her eyes and nodded, and in an instinctive way she reached out and gave Brennyn a hug. "Thank you, Bree," she breathed unsteadily. "Normally I am such an unemotional woman...." She smiled at her little joke. "Truth to tell, I had forgotten just how emotional a baby could make me...on top of everything else." She squeezed the Counselor in a hug and then let go. "I would appreciate very much having a friend to help me. I was getting on well with Cristobel before...." She couldn't even say it. His condition was a limbo hell as far as she was concerned. "Shyla and Cris...both gone. I've made friends with Ainsley, but not really close. She helps with Domenic from time to time. I'd love a friend more than a counselor."

She'd needed the hug more than she'd realized and was bowled over by it. Was everything from here on out going to cause them pain? If it could take her breath away...and there was something else going on too, a longing she had felt ever since she'd started seeing Shyla. She patted the Science Officer's hand. "And I'd love to take care of a mother to be again... I think Shyla and Cris would want us to find some joy in that. But...I'm worried, Nat, are you going to be able to let this baby go?"

Natalia smiled at the Counselor and shrugged. "I don't know." She was being honest. "Shyla's wishes were for the child to go to the paternal Grandfather and I have no problem with that. She's not mine. I know that I'm carrying her for Shyla not for me. I won't lie and say it will be easy, but I will do my duty, Bree. When we get to Earth, I'll have to be ready to give her up, regardless of my maternal instincts at the time. I know it's just something I have to do for Shyla Moreau."

Scott looked down at her feet and nodded, rising to a standing position. "I appreciate your honesty. I hope we can continue to talk about this, the last thing I want is to see you hurt in all of this." Her eyes brightened. "In the meantime, how're you feeling?"

"A little morning sickness," she admitted with a smile, "and I can't drink coffee; the mere smell of it sends my stomach rolling. It was like that the last time with Domenic. Other than that, I feel fine. I'm taking a course of meds that Doctor Sefton prescribed to keep my metabolism regular and I'm on a weekly routine of check-ups. Though with Doctor Sefton the way she is...I haven't had anyone else take up the exams yet...maybe you could?"

Brennyn looked away, unsure of what to say. The Seftons were gone, but she felt a pang of guilt just thinking of taking their places, even if it were for something as routine as pre-natal check-ups with some possible glitches. Obstetrics, her absolute passion in nursing, and yet, every fiber of her being was telling her to do everything in her power to protect herself emotionally from this as much as possible... And then she thought of Shyla, the look in her eyes when she really let herself think about what it was going to be like carrying this baby alone. Bree had promised she would be there for her, and by extension, her baby.

Scott turned back to Natalia, and saw the hope in her eyes. "We'll need to find you a physician, but I'm not comfortable until then letting you go without proper care and monitoring, so I'd be happy to help out there in the meantime. M'lira's probably going to grow tired of me, but my primary area of specialization for nursing is obstetrics, so maybe if I'm nice, she'll let me help. Now, when are you due for your next exam?"

Natalia grinned and nodded eagerly. "It's a deal then," she said firmly. "I have a right to choose my nursing care, and I'll just make it plain that you're it." She shrugged. "I think Doctor Sefton was more concerned because Cris was supposed to have been involved with the whole thing, but seeing as they are incapacitated.... I have a weekly schedule, and precautions that I have to take." She sighed. "Did you know of Shyla's affliction?" she asked softly. It was a worry that she had to carry around with the baby.

Bree nodded. "I knew bits and pieces...I knew it was terminal..." The irony of the situation was not lost on her and once more she felt the prickle of tears behind her eyes. "Don't worry, though, I'll be sure to learn everything I can about it in order to ensure the health of both of you. Did Doctor Sefton say whether you'd be able to give birth naturally?"

"She indicated that it had to be monitored. They can't tell yet whether the baby carries the Kelway's Syndrome too." Natalia looked saddened by that. "I pray that she doesn't. I should be able to carry the child to term. Doctor Sefton said that there shouldn't be any problems with that. Shyla had made arrangements for the possibility that her own condition was affected by the pregnancy. I'm completely normal, and my first pregnancy was perfectly normal. In fact I enjoyed it," she admitted with a smile. "I'm going to enjoy this one too. At least I don't have a man around to get in the way!"

Brennyn chuckled. "Well, I'm certainly no expert on these things, Nat, but I think men have their place in this stuff, especially because we wouldn't be able to have babies in the first place without them!" She grew thoughtful then, and added, "But I imagine it doesn't help if he has no interest in being there for either of you..." She shook her head. "You sure do put a positive spin on it, but I doubt I could have carried Dom, given him life, and raised him all on my own like you did, like you're doing."

"I think you would be able to handle it, Brennyn," Natalia grinned. "You have a maternal streak a light year wide I think." She laughed, clearly teasing. "You know...." Natalia's smile grew introspective. "Shyla hadn't chosen a name for her. I really believe in naming a baby before she's born. She's a person then...not an it...you know?"

Bree's smile turned to hesitation. "Are you sure that's wise, Natalia? Ethan's family might want to choose a name, and I don't want you to set yourself up to get too attached."

"Then it'll be my name for her," she replied. "I can't call her an it. I just can't. If I contribute anything, then I think for carrying her I can name her. If they want to call her something else, then that's their right after she's handed over. But while I'm carrying her, I have some contribution too. I'm the only mother she'll have, Brennyn."

"For now," Bree replied gently. "You're the only mother she'll have for now, unless and until she is raised by someone else." Bree shook her head. "I'm not saying this to hurt you, Nat, I just want you to be careful. Blame it on my light year long maternal streak." And she reached out for Druschev's hand. "But just out of curiosity, what would you call her?"

"Shalia," she replied softly. "After her mother, but not her mother's true name. She has to be her own person and not seen as a replacement for a lost daughter." Natalia smiled. "With a little bit of me in there." She squeezed Brennyn's hand. "I know what you are saying, Brennyn. I know that she will not be mine and that I will give her up - but a baby needs love, from the very first moment. Her heart is beating and she has a soul, and I will love her as a mother should. There's no guarantees, Brennyn; life is cruel sometimes and I'll do what has to be done for her sake - not mine. Perhaps one day I'll have another of my own. I'd like to...yes - very much."

Bree smiled, thinking of her own desire to some day marry and raise a family. "I'm sure Dom would love a brother or sister too. But how is he taking all of this?"

Natalia laughed. "He is taking it better than I am!" She shook her head. "Shyla was like a big sister I think...he's happy that her baby was saved and he knows that it doesn't change anything between us. He's still my boy...though he has something of a crush on Ainsley Chambers I think." She smiled warmly. "He's growing up a little too fast for me." She looked Brennyn in the eyes. "How would you like to share dinner with us? You can see for yourself how he's doing, and I'd enjoy the company."

Scott thought about it for a moment, then smiled. She had a lot on her plate at the moment, but it would be nice to have something to look forward to. "I'd really like that, thank you. It's been a while since I've spent any time with people outside of work."

"Then we should. As soon as we are home again. The next few hours are going to be tough I think." Natalia was pleased that Brennyn had accepted. She found it difficult to make friends; not one to hang out in the lounge or socialise because of Domenic. Her free time was usually devoted to her Holodeck programs and Martels in particular.

Bree sighed, her mind's eye turning inward, and lost in a sea of thought she replied, "I honestly can't recall a time when things haven't been tough." Scott smiled wryly then, embarrassed that she'd allowed her own melancholy thoughts to escape. How very un-counselor of her.

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