"Weakness"
By: Commander Lyrr Tayla
Lt. Commander Benedict T'Kal

Location: Ben and Lyrr's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21, 01h30

***

She hadn't stepped into her quarters for an entire day and a half, and hadn't slept for just as long. After the shock of Shyla's brutal death, Lyrr had been infused with renewed purpose and an indefatigable drive to overthrow their captors through cunning and intelligence, rather than petulance. Throwing a tantrum every time Ben and Teb were seen together wouldn't win back the ship, she now realized, yet she hadn't gathered the nerve to admit that to either of them, for doing so would be an admission of poor judgement; confessing failure to the ship and its crew, though it made it far more difficult to acknowledge her embarrassingly appalling behaviour. By actively avoiding both of them, she could spare her pride for a while yet, and so far, she had been succeeding.

Eyes growing heavy with exhaustion and stomach gurgling demands for food, Lyrr stepped into her quarters bearing intentions to simply shower, then return to duty without satisfying either urges. She'd gone longer without food or sleep during the Resistance, and she'd survived; she could cope with only a five minute nap twelve hours ago and a nibble of bread, especially when she was too invigorated to notice her body was wearing thin. She did, however, have sense enough to keep bathing as a priority.

Shrugging out of her jacket, she moved through the living area, into the darkened bedroom, and disappeared within the refresher. She ordered the computer to prepare a warm shower while letting her pants fall to the floor. As she turned to head back out, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and experienced a moment of shock at her haggard appearance.

Suffice to say, she quickly averted her gaze from the reflection and returned to the bedroom once again, peeling off her shirt. She tossed it aside, into the darkness and the approximate direction of the bed. For a moment, she yearned for its comfort, its warmth, but in the next she was shaking the idea from her mind. There wasn't time, there was never time...

He awoke with the sounds of Tayla rummaging through the closet and he sat up in bed and flicked on the light. She reacted with fright, turning to the light source with a surprised expression before seeing Benedict sitting up, the bed covers draped around his waist. The golden bed light cast a rosy glow over his profile; the shimmering gold of his tattoo caught the light more fully and reflected it in a striped pattern on the wall behind the bed. Benedict's expression was almost sullen, his eyes accusing as he sat back and folded corded arms across his chest.

"You've been avoiding me," he said softly. He was glad she had, if she'd been close to him in the day she would have seen his state of mind. He already felt guilty beyond redemption. He hadn't seen her since the night before and that was fleeting. In the dim light she looked tired, worn out even. It wasn't hard to know why. For a moment his expression remained self-absorbed until it crumbled into a look of pure concern. He sighed and held out a hand. "Come here," he said gently. He felt the cold ball of fear in his gut at seeing her. Did she know? Could she see it on his face?

"I can't," she answered, keeping well back from the bed and trying to disappear within the closet. "I just came to freshen up...I didn't know you were here or else I wouldn't have disturbed you." Lyrr smiled weakly and whispered meaningfully, "I'm sorry."

He threw off the covers and went over to her. The afternoon spent with Tebrianne had been heavy on his mind. He wanted to tell her what had happened. He wanted to come clean and admit his failure, but that option was denied him. He knew what would happen if he did, and the mission would suffer most of all. He was wracked with guilt, and his eyes were shadowed with inner pain. Taking hold of her arms he turned her to face him. "You need sleep," he said gently, and his eyes searched hers. "And I need you," he said more meaningfully.

He did. No matter what happened with Tebrianne, he loved Lyrr Tayla. He'd been thinking about it all day. Tebrianne had pushed him, and he'd been...weak. She'd known exactly how to push him, she'd known what he wanted but had done it anyway. She'd been more concerned with what she wanted than what he needed. She'd drawn him in and he'd fallen for it. He hated himself for the weakness. He'd betrayed Lyrr's trust. He'd destroyed everything. He didn't know how he was going to cope with it all, but he knew he couldn't say anything - not right now. That above all shamed him. There was no secrets between them, but not now. He was in the same situation as Tayla had been. Hiding something that resembled a cancer. Eventually it would chew him up.

"I hate this...separation that's happening to us. I don't want it to continue, Tay. I love you, and I need you. I can't do this by myself." He couldn't cope with it by himself. But he couldn't go with Tebrianne ...no matter how much he wanted to.

She chuckled wanly. "Can't do what? You've been coping fine - it's me who hasn't been dealing well with this entire situation." Lyrr sighed and looked down. "I'm ashamed of how I've acted. I haven't been a very good officer and I haven't been very easy to love." Hazarding a glance up at him, fearing his accusatory, resentful gaze, she whispered, "I'm sorry. I haven't given you the trust you deserve...and I admit that I've been a little" --she grumbled and muttered-- "childish."

He smiled at that. It was a weak smile at best, but her words cut into him. She was ashamed! Prophets she had nothing to be shamed for! Trust? For a moment he just couldn't breathe and he looked away from her, ashamed even more for what he'd done. "It just shows me how much you love me that's all," he breathed. He stepped closer, sliding his arms around her waist. "I haven't been dealing well with this at all," he admitted softly. He felt moisture in his eyes, and blinked them away. "Her returning has been pretty...intense for me." He drew a shuddering breath. Intense. Understatement of the millennium.

He looked up at her and gave her a soft kiss. The touch of her lips was...softer, fuller than Tebrianne's and he knew the difference as he was slapped by the memory. "We seriously need to talk.... Now would be a good time. Come on." He wanted to tell her, needed to...but he couldn't. He felt shamed and rotten. How could he have done...that. The uncertainty and the need to do something about it - to drive it out, deny the bond...that damned blood bond!

He wanted to make it up to her. Needed to do something that would show her that he loved her. He needed to do something to prove to himself that he loved Tayla. He kissed the nape of her neck and with a one handed flick of his fingers her bra unsnapped at the back. "I want to make love to you," he whispered as he kissed her throat and brushed the straps off her shoulders, letting it fall down her arms between them. "We can talk after...." He kissed the lobe of her ear and nipped at it with his teeth. She was so soft and gentle, so...Lyrr.

"Ben," she reproved gently, and even as she laid her hands upon his bare chest to push him back, she was reminded of how deeply she'd missed him over the past two days. Instead of escaping his hold, she embraced him with great relief. "We'll get through this," Lyrr whispered, kissing his chest fervently. "I hate the feeling that we're losing each other."

"I won't let it happen," he breathed in Bajoran as he lifted her chin to kiss her fully. He wouldn't let it happen...he pleaded with the Prophets not to let it happen. He felt so out of control, so stupid! As he kissed her lips his hands began caressing her, drawing her back until they fell upon the bed where he clutched her body to his and desperately lost himself in the passion of their kiss.

He was less interested in his own pleasure as he sought to reassure her of his love. He knew exactly what she loved, in the same way as he'd known Tebrianne's erogenous zones; how to please her and draw out her pleasure until she was barely capable of coherent thought. He made love to her with an intensity that sought to drive out the past day; to exorcise the demon inside of him that had wreaked havoc on his love. Benedict wanted to erase his desires for Tebrianne, bury them back to where they belonged - in the past. He wanted to deny what he'd done. He wanted to make it non-existent, but it was a stain on his soul and he was the one solely responsible for putting it there.

How could he blame her for fighting back? For trying to take him in any way she could? She'd been lost in this hell for five years and had survived by taking what she needed - she'd just as easily taken Benedict T'Kal. Yet he wasn't wholly gone. He still fought it. He still fought the bond that she'd inflamed and renewed. She'd said that her mental abilities were gone, but if that were true why did she still feel what he felt, why did he still feel what she felt? It was in his blood and his mind and his memories - that damnable bond that stole his soul and gave it to her...the Romulan girl who had stolen away his heart so many years ago.

This time was devoted to Lyrr Tayla, and he sought to elevate her to new heights, new sensations and drown out her fears and wash away her doubts, and at the same time erase his own. As they lay together in the aftermath of it he held her against him, soaking up her soft warmth and stroking her skin languidly as she tried to recover breath.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair as fresh tears ran down his cheeks in the darkness. He cried not because he was happy - but because he was tormented. He'd denied Tebrianne her wish to please him as he'd pleased her...but that still didn't excuse what he'd done. Now in the aftermath of shared exhaustion with Lyrr Tayla he was glad that at least he hadn't allowed that final act. He'd at least had the strength to deny her that. "I love you..." he repeated with an infinite sadness falling across him.

"I didn't doubt," she murmured against his sweat-dampened throat. "I just...wasn't sure who you loved more."

"You," he said, holding her tightly against him for a moment, but he was trembling. It was true...he'd chosen Lyrr. He had chosen Lyrr. "I need to explain what it's been like for me." He stared up at the ceiling, his eyes leaking tears that dripped to the coverlet. He felt her breathing against his chest, her body still slick and hot, but so intimately moulded to his, as Tebrianne's had been only hours before. It sent another jagged bolt of guilt through him. "It's like I'm fighting a war inside my head." His words were a bare whisper. "Old memories that she put inside my head...keep coming up and...it feels like they're demanding to go back to her, and I don't want to. It's like a drug addiction that I know I don't want. I loved her and I still love her...but I'm not in-love with her." He tried to convince himself of that. It was difficult to do with the bond that she had forged with his mind. It was still true. He wanted so much for it to be true. He drew a breath that seemed chill.

"I'm in love with you. I want to be with you. I want to marry you," he spoke with a conviction that denied his past, "...and someday we'll have children." He stroked her back and neck, still staring at the ceiling, his thoughts demanding to be let out and shared with her. Yet the whole truth would wait. He wanted the dream so badly. It was a dream that he couldn't ever have with Tebrianne. A dream of family. Tebrianne had been struck down by a childhood illness that had made her unable to bear children. It had been a point of contention even when they had been together. He couldn't ever have this dream with her - but he could at least hope for it with Tayla. It was a lasting difference between the two - and a major factor in Ben's thinking. Children. "I can almost see them, Tay...strong, fine children. A little girl that looks just like you...with a temper on her." He chuckled in the darkness, almost because it would never happen, a little mad, a little hopeful, and his hands caressed her lightly as he spoke in a soft whisper. "I can't see any future without you. I don't want to see a future without you, Tay. We're bound together, you and I. Not even the Prophets dare touch us. I won't let us go...I can't. You're my life now. I don't want anything else."

He hadn't wanted anything else until he'd seen Tebrianne. Now he had to deny those feelings. He had to hold on to what he'd wanted, and not change. Tebrianne was different now. Or maybe she wasn't. He'd always known that she'd played a large part in seducing Deiran...but he'd always denied it. It was so easy to say that it was all Deiran's fault. But now Benedict was in Deiran's shoes. Maybe they fit the same. Maybe Tebrianne did the same to him as she'd done to Benedict. Taken what she'd wanted. They had called her a homewrecker on the Galaxy...she had almost destroyed Deiran's marriage over their affair. Benedict of course had blamed him, after all he was married and Benedict T'Kal would never have done that! Ha! What a joke! What a hypocrite!

As Ben viciously censured himself, Tayla smiled, unable to do anything else, for she felt more secure in their bond now than she had even before Tebrianne had appeared, and definitely more receptive to his assurances. There would always be doubts, but she could either imbue them with life by giving even a moment's thought to their validity, or banish them entirely - that would mean the difference between a life of happiness with T'Kal, or one plagued with paralyzing suspicion. Pressed against him now, with his sheltering arms offering warmth and affection, Lyrr was certain she would choose joy over everything else.

Chuckling, she slung her leg over T'Kal's waist and pulled herself upright to sit atop him. The sheets rolled off her back to leave them both bare, but Lyrr felt barely a chill, not while so close to Ben. "She's a memory, but I'm not," Lyrr told him. "I promise not to hate her, not now, not when I can pity her for the life she's lost. You can be her friend, even if I can't be yet; I won't interfere, I promise."

His eyes betrayed hurt at her words. No, she was so wrong. She wasn't a memory, but he knew now without a doubt that she could never be a friend. If only she knew...she'd hate her. Rightly so she would hate him too. He looked up at her and struggled to breathe under the weight of his remorse. He didn't want her to make that promise. He wanted Tayla to interfere, to be difficult, to push away and be hurtful, spiteful and savage. If only that would solve the problem. But he knew it wouldn't.

"She doesn't deserve pity, Tay. She wouldn't accept it and it's not worthy of you." He reached up to slide a hand along her thigh, hip and side, memorizing the feel of her skin and the beautiful curves as if this would be the last time he'd touch her. "I don't want her to stay, she's going to hurt every time she sees us. I don't know that I could do that to her. I didn't realize how much that could hurt." He thought of Shirik then, and knew she suffered something like it - but Shirik had never known him as Tebrianne had. "Making her stay is cruel, so for her own sake I want her go her own way." He looked up into his lover's eyes. "It would be best for you, and for me too. I don't want her to come between us. I can't risk you." Prophets he already had. Would she forgive him? If he let Tebrianne go? Forever?

He sat up then, so that Tayla was once more pressed against him, her softness brushing his hard muscular frame. He kissed her shoulder, and wrapped an arm around her waist. Resting his cheek upon her, his raven hair fell across her back. He breathed in her perfume, and closed his eyes. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her, but his heart held nothing but dread now.

She sighed and idly threaded her fingers through his hair as they stroked the length of it, which now reached to near waist-height; she had never been intimately close to a person long enough to notice such trivial details as how many inches his hair had grown in three months. Lyrr smiled serenely and buried her lips into the hair at his crown. "She can stay, Ben," she whispered. "She's not a threat to me now, and it's not like she has anyone else. She's been gone for five years - what will she do without her single, strongest connection to the past?"

"I don't know," he whispered, "but she'll survive. She's a threat, Tayla. She always will be. As long as she's close she'll be a threat, because she won't let go and because I'm not strong enough." He leaned back on his arm and gazed up at her smiling lips, her long lashed eyes that were shadowed now, and the unruly curls that were dark with perspiration. "You are my addiction," he whispered in Bajoran. "Promise me that you'll always love me, no matter what?"

Lyrr smoothed her hands over his glistening chest, and held his gaze with a fiery intensity. "Always," she declared, and as she began swaying against him again, finished in an ardent whisper, "and forever."

Her words echoed in his mind; always and forever. He closed his violet eyes and it seemed as if he could cry endless tears yet she leaned down and kissed him ardently, her passion renewed, and once again he was caught up in the intensity of her desire for him. It seemed as if at times like this, she was insatiable, and he was at the mercy of her need, and yet he needed her too. This time it was slow and deliberate, she moving against him like the surf rushing up a windswept beach and rolling away to come back further inland each time.

He allowed her to control it all, and simply revelled in her body and the pleasure; it caused him to surrender to her every whim. Benedict knew that he needed her as much as she needed him. It was a mutual dance of love, but it reaffirmed their bond, just as intimate as the mind meld seemed to be, but far more liberating. They were in-tune with each other, emotionally and spiritually as they came together in a mutual cry of relief.

Although the past week had been as close to experiencing hell as Lyrr had come in some years, one hour with Ben was enough to uplift her once again. Trembling and clutching possessively to him, Lyrr found her paranoia was assuaged entirely, and was doubly glad she had decided to take that break after all. Finally, her mind was devoid of guilt and conflict, replaced only with enough quietude to allow rest. And she did.

He lay beside her as she slept, and watched her in the night. No stirrings of bad dreams awakened her. She was safe in his arms. He felt betrayed and a betrayer, and promised that he would never fall prey to his weakness again. He was resolved, yet he feared the strength of it against Tebrianne's bond. He had to avoid it...just until they got home. For now...he would try to serve the ship and the mission, and Lyrr, who deserved far better than him. He didn't deserve a woman like Tayla....

---

"(Bm.) The Symbol for a Big Mouth"

Lt. (jg) Derran Casey
Ensign Kate Hansen
CPO Calyca Boothroyd
Crewman 1st Class Sorg Jurell

Location: USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21 02h40

***

Gamma shift was quiet. Unusually quiet, as Jurell and Calyca, responding to a minor fluctuation in an EPS Grid made their way to the nearest Jeffries Tube access hatch on deck thirteen. The Enforcers were putting a dampener on ship activity, and with the holodecks off-line and a general feeling of oppression in the air, not many of the crew ventured out of quarters in their off-hours.

The junction opened with a hiss as Jurell activated the mechanism and he allowed Caly to climb in ahead of him. It wasn't based solely on politeness, he wanted to make sure she felt safe and with a grin as he climbed in after her, he noted that the view wasn't half bad either.

She was quick and sure of herself as she slipped nimbly into the Jefferies system, totally unaware that certain parts of her anatomy were being scrutinized. Once inside, she moved aside and waited for Jurell to join her. "Ready?" she asked quietly when he'd closed and secured the hatch, waiting for his acknowledgement before starting towards the Grid. Caly knew the Tubes as well if not better than the rest of the ship and felt totally at home in them.

She caught his grin as he looked at her and he nodded. "Let's go." Hhe shooed her ahead. They crawled on hands and knees along the length of the tube to the small triangular door at the end. It opened just before they reached it and the barrel of a phaser rifle appeared, causing Caly to suck in a startled gasp and pull back from the hatch until she saw a face she knew.

"Hey," Kate Hansen grinned at Calyca as she recognised her and got a brief nod in return. She gave a helping hand to the female engineer as she climbed out of the tube and into the junction. She nodded at Jurell. "Glad you could make it, Sorg, we missed you."

"Likewise," Jurell smiled at the usually dour Hansen. He noted the way she looked Caly up and down before leaning casually against the bulkhead.

Lieutenant Derran Casey was sitting next to the LCARS in one corner of the Junction, a phaser rifle leaning against the wall with him. He nodded at both of the newcomers. "How are things outside?" he asked Jurell. His blue eyes were serious; wary as the confinement to the Jeffries tube system was wearing them all down. It was cramped and with little opportunity to move around it made certain things difficult.

"Quiet," Jurell reported. Caly returned Casey's nod with a brief, silent one of her own as she moved to as inconspicuous a spot as she could find and giving Sorg room to move fully into the junction. "Everyone is itching to get rid of the uninvited guests. There hasn't been any further incidents after the second Enforcer was executed for raping Lieutenant Tagliesh."

Casey's face betrayed his inner rage at hearing Jurell's words. He shook his head. "They'll pay for that," he said quietly. "Any word from Commander T'Kal?" His voice was calm, though his eyes were afire.

"No, sir." Jurell shook his head. "I brought Chief Boothroyd so you could look over the plans to the Gate Station with her, sir. She's going on the away team. I've been told that I'm going too. I believe the rest of the TAC Team will be accompanying Commander Bancroft on a rescue mission to grab the Captain from the Windsor."

Casey nodded. He looked at Caly. "Nice to meet you, Chief." He gave her a smile and for a moment Casey's handsome charm was directed full force at the engineer. "I wish it was under different circumstances...."

"Aye, sir, so do I," she agreed. She didn't return the smile and his charm seemed lost on her.

Kate Hansen rolled her eyes and shot Sorg a look. She knew the Crewman was pretty much totally taken by the red head, and she could see why. Kate wondered what she'd be like. Rachel had sniggeringly informed her that it was widely known amongst the girls in engineering that Boothroyd hadn't been intimate with anyone...ever. Until Sorg came along. It seemed the big blue eyed Bajoran was now spending nights with the engineer in her quarters. The boy was fast.

Her eyes were troubled and haunted as she watched the three of them for a moment. "Do you have something I can download into my PADD?" she asked Casey moved a bit closer to his position as she slipped it from her waistband. "I'll need to relay it to the spiders so I can get them to the reactors," she told him. Even now one of the spiders was making its way to their position.

He nodded and turned to the LCARS. Fingers tapped a code and he motioned to Caly and relieved her of the PADD. It only took a moment to download the contents of the file. "This is all we have until we reach the Gate system," he explained. "The fusion reactors are the same in design as the Deep Space Nine power systems, as far as we've been told."

Caly looked momentarily hesitant to let him have the PADD in her fingers and very wary of the LCARS. "How do you keep them from finding out what you're accessing?" She nodded to the LCARS as she took the PADD back and began looking through the station plans. "And how are you going to get more detailed information once we reach the Gate without them finding out?" She looked up at Casey, her fear and paranoia very clear in the depths of her eyes. She knew they were monitoring the ship's systems. It was like constantly having someone over your shoulder, watching every move you made. Privacy had become an abstract concept.

"I'm only accessing library files, nothing sensitive," Casey replied. "We have a Starfleet Security protocol running on this station that re-routes queries through sub-system back-ups and ghosts the data retrieved so that it doesn't log to this terminal. If they knew about it they would have been here already." He gave her a reassuring smile. "When we get to the Gate system we should have enough time to modify anything once you are on the station itself. You'll have to go; your spider drones are vital to the mission plan. Very well done on that too, Chief...damned fine work." He held her eyes for a moment and she could feel the presence of Casey; a confidence and self-assuredness that was impressive.

"Thank you, sir," she offered quietly, holding his gaze with a steady one of her own. She didn't look impressed. Nor did she look unimpressed. She looked rather neutral. Zinc, atomic number 30, symbol 'Zn'... "You'll have to pardon me for being the voice of paranoia, sir," she told him quietly. "But if I were them, I'd have the DS9 plans red flagged just in case someone was getting any smart ideas. Which I'd also suspect. However I'm sure you've taken that into account," she added with a very slight lift of one shoulder. "I can modify the spiders' AI on the fly once I have more accurate coordinates for them. Do you have exact placements for the charges worked out yet? And we might consider cloaking them," she suggested and scratched at the collar around her neck. "I also need to know the timing between the gas release and going to the station, and how you plan on getting them there..."

"The gas is ready," Casey grinned, "and so is the release mechanism, all we need is the signal to do it. Once the Enforcers are out, we have freedom to operate. I figure a couple hours before the away team is ready to go to the station. In that couple hours we can fine tune the planning and know what we're in for. Certainly we'll need a runabout or the Nightingale to get to the station. I figure the Windsor team will have the worst job; getting to the Windsor undetected. I think seriously that we'll need the Nightingale, where the team that's headed to the station can go with a normal runabout. We can alter the decals soon enough once we have the larger replicators in engineering back on-line. We'll need the punch of the Nightingale if it gets ugly, and I think it will. We'll need all the help we can get to get away from the Windsor." Casey looked at Sorg. "I'm leaving Rinaro and Mullens here. I want you on my team. Hansen, Finn and Bennett with T'Kal can handle the Station."

Sorg looked at Caly for a moment before nodding at Casey. "Aye, sir," he replied. He knew that Calyca would do her duty, but she'd be going without him. He looked over at Hansen who gave him a grin.

"Don't worry, Iceman," she drawled. "I'll make sure she's okay." Kate winked at him and shared a smile at Caly.

Caly frowned and glanced briefly from Hansen to Jurell at their little exchange and then turned her focus back to Casey. "'Scuse me, sir, but how do you plan on launching the Nightingale without the Windsor noticing you're opening the bay doors?" she asked. Then something else he said piqued her curiosity and she added, "You said the release mechanism was ready for the gas... Did you mean the spiders, or do you have some other release mechanism in place?" She'd thought the spiders were the release mechanism, but perhaps she'd misunderstood...

"The spiders...they are ready aren't they?" Casey frowned.

"Aye, sir. As I told Ensign Farrell, I just need half hour's notice to get them into position. They're programmed and ready for my command sequence," she assured him. As she spoke, the spider that looked like a black widow made its way to her position and observed the group for several moments before spinning a silk line and dropping down to rest on Caly's shoulder. After a startled little jerk, she cast a glance in its direction and then turned her attention back to Casey. ...radius 116pm. Selenium was discovered by Jöns Jakob Berzelius of Sweden in 1817. The origin of the name...

"They mapped the placement points as the canisters were being put into position. Some of the spiders are with the canisters now as they coincided with where they were already standing watch," she continued on, unmindful of the spider that was crawling around on her shoulder and running its forelegs over the control collar around her neck. It hadn't escaped her notice that Casey seemed to have skirted around several points she'd brought up, and she took that as a subtle hint to stick to business. Her business.

"They also managed to capture a range of control frequencies for the collars," she informed him. "I did what I could, but that's not my area of expertise. So I met with Ensign Mouazer this evening and turned the frequencies over to him so he could design one that would jam them. I also told him about Crewman Sorg's idea to adjust the transceivers in the comm. badges." She nodded briefly towards Jurell. "I believe Ensign Mouazer is going to talk with Ensign Farrell about it." Caly brought him up to date.

Casey smiled at the attractive Chief Petty Officer. She was a real knockout up close. Her green eyes were so expressive he found it immensely enjoyable just watching her. "Good," he nodded. The spider dropping to her shoulder was odd but he'd been aware of the mechanical arachnid for some time. "We need to neutralise the collars," he agreed. The mention of Farrell was distasteful to Casey, after their brief discussion in the Operations Office. There was something not quite Starfleet about the man, but he seemed to know his place.

Caly didn't smile back at Casey, she simply watched him impassively. Her eyes were expressive, and right now they were haunted and worried, troubled and fearful.

"We'll let you know when Zero Hour commences at minus thirty minutes," Casey looked at Jurell. "Stay close to her," he ordered. "Make sure everything goes according to plan."

"Aye, Lieutenant, I will." Sorg nodded, all serious.

The petite engineer looked between Casey and Jurell, suddenly feeling like a package that had just been handed off and not quite sure how she felt about that besides bristly. She was in a rather 'bite me' mood at the moment though, so it probably wasn't actually a good time to decide that. "I'll be ready... Any idea how you're gonna get the spiders and explosives onto the station?" she asked again.

"Once the runabout docks at the station you'll be inside the defense shields. The transporters will be able to place the spiders where we need them from there. If they are shielded from sensors they shouldn't pick them up. That will be part of the last phase of the station mission. Once the codes have been accessed and the station systems compromised."

Caly nodded her understanding. "Do you want them shielded? Right now they can be found if you know what to look for," she told him. "But they won't be picked up on any normal sensor sweep." She reached up and plucked the spider from her shoulder, ignoring its hissing posture as she turned it over and accessed his infrared port before setting it on the PADD in her hands with a quiet, "Hush...."

"They will require shielding. They may not be picked up now, but carrying antimatter is a different thing entirely." Casey grinned

"Exactly," she agreed. "I'll make the upgrades then. You want five primary spiders, correct? Any backups?"

"Five is more than enough," Casey nodded. "Given the yield that even two can put out, it's enough to cause the damage we require. Five gives us a hundred and fifty percent overlap. It'll be the same as a torpedo going off in the middle of their power system core. There won't be anything left for the Black Hole to swallow."

"Consider it done, sir," she nodded, specifics already forming in the depths of her mind. Tucked in with... ...Rubidium, atomic number 37, symbol 'Rb'... "And pardon my persistence, sir... But exactly how do you propose to launch anything without the Windsor noticing?"

"We won't be anywhere near the Windsor when we launch. According to the intel we have, Captain T'Briane has to attend to fleet operations business when we arrive at the Gate. When the Windsor does that we'll apparently be assigned a place in the fleet. There will be enough ships on sensors to hide a small craft with ease. We just float it out of the rear bay under minimum power. Not that risky."

Caly blinked. "And the captain of the Windsor is just going to.... Leave us to our own devices? A ship full of Starfleet Officers? A ship full of Starfleet Officers that are being held hostage? Against their will?" she asked, her tone clearly registered her disbelief. Something was definitely... Wrong... Was the captain daft? Or was it a trap? It had to be a trap. Geezus they were all gonna die.....

"I doubt we'll be able to do anything, Chief," Casey pointed out. "We'll be smack in the middle of a fleet of enemy ships - we won't be going anywhere will we?"

"Except that... We are, sir..." she pointed out. "Something we wouldn't be able to do were the Windsor keeping us under her watchful eye..." She drew in a breath and suggested quietly, "Her captain's either a fool, or it's a trap...." And then she added an equally quiet question... "If you were the captain, would you leave us virtually unwatched?"

"That's the point, Chief, we are being watched. She trusts Tebrianne Bancroft, a lot more than I do. But she trusts her. We'll be in a system full of warships - we can't go anywhere - certainly they can't expect us to make for the Gate when we don't know anything about how it works. Where are we going to go? What are we supposed to do? We can't make a run for it - we'd be caught on this side. We can't get through the Gate - we don't have the codes. There's a mine field there too...and quite frankly we'll be extremely lucky to get those codes. A lot of things have to fall our way for this to even look like working. The odds are firmly on their side. Stacked against us totally. She won't be expecting this. No one in their right mind would expect what we're about to attempt. She's no fool. She just doesn't anticipate the absurd foolishness of our daring plan!" He chuckled. "Total tactical surprise is on our side. It's about all that is on our side mind."

Caly blinked again, her fingers slowly working over the spider as she listened to Casey. "She'd be a fool not to expect us to try something, sir," she said quietly. "And exactly who is watching us? The Enforcers?" Her tone was dismissive. "She's a bigger fool than I thought if she blindly trusts Bancroft." She shook her head a bit and let the spider go so it could scramble back onto her shoulder. "We're one hundred and fifty highly trained Starfleet Officers, sir. If she doesn't fully expect us to try and take the ship back and stop them...." She shook her head again. They were gonna die. "I'd expect and plan for anything if I were her... It's probably a good thing I'm not."

"I doubt that she's considering us doing anything on this side of the Gate," Casey answered. "I'd absolutely expect something when we're on the other side. She'll expect us to bide our time and wait until we're through - home, before we try anything. If it's a trap I'd expect her to spring it just short of the passage through the Gate, or just after we get to the other side. She may well be using us to test Bancroft's loyalty. We don't know what she's going to do - but not knowing and not planning our actions as a consequence is a sure road to failure. We have to make the enemy react to our actions, not be reactive ourselves. Tactical doctrine, Chief - gain the initiative and keep it. So far they have it. We want it. If we want it we have to take it now. We have no choice."

"Pardon me, sir," Caly frowned. "I didn't mean to imply that we shouldn't do anything. That's the last thing I'd do," she offered quietly. "I'm the first to admit that tactical doctrine is not my area of expertise. I'm just an engineer and a scientist. I invent things and I'm very practical minded. It's beyond my ability to plan what you're planning. But I'd be shirking my duty if I didn't point out the logical problems I see."

"You're doing a damned fine job too, Chief," Casey grinned and held her eyes for a moment, allowing her to bask in his praise. "Expect the unexpected...our catch-phrase. We'll see what happens between now and freedom."

Caly was unimpressed with basking in anything, but the very troubled and haunted look in her eyes hid the fact. She just hoped he didn't get them all killed. "Aye, sir." She slid the PADD back in its holster.

"Well then...." He nodded with a gracious smile, totally unaware that his dashing good looks and his phenomenal charm had done nothing. "Dismissed, Chief." He gave a nod to Sorg as a dismissal.

"Thank you, sir..." Her voice was a little more heart-felt than normal and she looked to Sorg to get her out of there, one brow arching expectantly. "Crewman..." she urged him quietly.

"Yes, ma'am," he grinned. He led the way out of the Jeffries tubes, remaining tactfully silent all the way.

Caly shooed the spider off at one point and gave Sorg a look when he helped her out of tubes. "Talking to that man is like talking to a snake." She straightened her uniform with a couple well placed and rather indignant tugs. "I need a shower. Gods... We're all gonna die."

"Don't say that!" Jurell's face was stern. "Never say that. Remember who you are and the rank you hold. Don't even say it to yourself. Chief." His voice was quiet, but he was serious. "We're going to be okay. All of us."

She stared at him for several moments before finally speaking. "I don't need you to remind me of my rank or who I am, Crewman." She turned sharply and made her way silently back to her room. She'd spoken out of frustration and exasperation. She wouldn't make that mistake again.

Jurell watched her go, and when she turned the corner he leaned against the wall and bumped his head a few times. "Dumb, dumb, dumb...big mouth...stupid." He sighed and shook his head. "Sometimes, Jurell, you just shoot your mouth off." He pondered going after her, but decided against it. In the interests of space.

Caly would have slammed the door when she got to her room. If she could have. Luckily for her neighbours, that wasn't possible. ...Zinc, atomic number 30, symbol 'Zn'... Wait... She'd done Zinc already....

---

"Strange Bedfellows"
By: CPO Calyca Boothroyd

Location: USS Sulu, Boothroyd's quarters
Stardate: 57910.21, 03h15

***

If she could have, Caly would have slammed the door when she got back to her room. Probably more than once. Luckily for her neighbors, that wasn't possible. ...Zinc, atomic number 30, symbol 'Zn'... Wait... Dammit, she'd done Zinc already.... Maybe she could reprogram the door so it would slam. Or better yet....

She snatched up the mini-her doll, threw it against the door, and then stood there with her arms crossed beneath her breasts, silently fuming and tapping a foot while wishing she had something else to throw... She stood like that for several moments before she let out an exasperated sigh. Well. that had been irrational and childish even if it had felt good. She ran a hand through her hair and went over to pick it up.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." She smoothed the doll's ruffled hair and clothes. "But I didn't have a Sorg doll to throw instead," she quietly explained to the doll as she paced around her quarters, still very agitated from her encounter with Casey and the ensuing censure from Sorg. Casey was one of those two-dimensional people that never saw anything past the impression they thought they were making on others. The egotistical jerk... And Sorg. Damn him, that had been a perfect example of just why she didn't do relationships, and why she didn't date.

"On the bright side," she continued talking to the doll. "It blocked out that sinking, on edge panicky feeling for a few minutes," she admitted and finally settled down on the sofa, sitting the doll in her lap and pulling out the PADD to check on the spiders and their incorporation of the DS9 plans.

"We'll be lucky if we don't get killed. They're grossly underestimating the Windsor people, if you want my opinion," she kept talking to the spiders and the doll while she worked. "But we'll do our damnedest to make this work, won't we?" she asked the rhetorical question.

"Okay guys," she murmured, already sinking into the problem at hand. "Calculate the most likely variations on a DS9 station for reactor placement and design. And factor in that this is a mirror universe, so do some backwards, reversed stuff." She instructed the spiders as she added a little subroutine or two into their AI. "Now, process and compile that, my little pretties cackle cackle, and in the meantime, I'm going to try and sleep," she announced and carried the doll and PADD into the partitioned sleeping area where she stripped down to the very functional underwear she wore and crawled into bed with them both.

And the oddest thing about that was that she didn't see anything at all odd about it... Matter of fact, she was just missing a spider or three to make her complement of strange bedfellows complete.

Her foray into sleep didn't last much past half an hour before a nightmare had her gasping and she tumbled promptly out of bed, landing on the floor with a startling thud that at least jerked her out of the blind panic she'd woke in. She lay there panting for breath, her heart racing as she looked up to see the doll staring down at her. "Don't say it... Just don't even say it..." she grumbled loudly as she snatched the doll off the bed and pulled the covers down on top of them. "Just don't..." She needed a damn seat belt to keep her in the bloody thing.

As she curled up on the floor, she couldn't help the stray thought of Jurell and the one full night she'd spent asleep and actually in the bed thanks to him.... Damn him anyway.

---

"Pep Talks and Sausages"
By: Lieutenant Mark Thaine, Chief of Engineering
CPO Calyca Boothroyd, Engineering Crewchief

Location: Main Engineering, Top of the Warp Core, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21, 05h45

***

It had been another restless and nightmare filled night. What there was of it after her visit with the TAC Team in the Jefferies tubes. And that was when she even tried to sleep, which she hadn't done much of. After falling out of bed, she'd paced and worked and paced some more, and finally left her quarters to wander through the Sulu's corridors in the wee hours.

She'd left a frustrated, and angry Sorg behind when they'd parted at the tubes. He'd probably discovered just how stubborn and pig-headed the petite engineer could be and had witnessed another flash of her short-growing temper. She was still silently seething about the whole thing even now.

She sat up at the very top of the Warp Core now, the PADD and spider conditioning momentarily forgotten beside her as she gazed down into the core itself, something she thought she'd never get tired of doing. She didn't "officially" have to be at work today, but hopefully her comm badge being here would make the goons less suspicious of what she might or might not be doing. And that was assuming they were keeping an eye on her, something that she couldn't assume wasn't happening.

"What the hell are you doing back here, Booter?" asked a voice from behind her.

She jumped and spun around at the sound of his voice, her startle threshold in overdrive. She managed to not do anything really stupid like fall over, but she did have to scramble a bit to keep her seat. Wide, haunted green eyes stared up at him, full of instant fear and panic for the brief heartbeat it took for her to register who it was.

"Uhh... Hiding?" she finally offered. She was dressed in an old training uniform that hugged her slight form comfortably. There were dark smudges under her eyes and she was still a little pale. "And working..." she admitted truthfully.

Mark noticed the young woman's skittishness, and bent his knees to bring his brown eyes level with Caly's green. "You should be sleeping," he said, much softer.

She blinked and the haunted look intensified for a flash of a second, panic warring for a handhold. ..Meitnerium, atomic number 109, symbol 'Mt', weight 268... The Periodic Table had no beginning and no end now. It was simply a constant companion that she focused on when she needed it. "I can't," she told him truthfully and had to fight back a sudden rush of tears. "The nightmares won't let me yet." She drew in a steadying breath and offered him a faint smile. "I'll be okay, sir."

"'Course you will," replied the Chief, assuredly. He paused. "Do you want me to go?"

The momentary flash of panic at being alone was irrational and unexpected. She shook her head and drew in a tight breath. The fingers that had been absently drawing in the air instinctively reached for him. "N-no... Please don't."

"Okay..." He reached out, taking her hand in his, and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere." Mark adjusted himself, sitting down next her.

"Good," Caly answered impulsively. She clutched at his hand for a moment and then relaxed her grip, suddenly realizing just whose hand she was grabbing at and thinking he might not appreciate being pawed by his staff. "I'm sorry, sir. I'm not quite myself," she told him calmly. "How are you, sir? How's the ship? I've.... Lost track..." That seemed to surprise her and the knowledge made her frown.

"I'm fine. The Sulu's doing fine, too. It'll take more than a few Enforcers to upset her." Thaine gave a her a small smile, hoping to coax one from her in return.

She studied his face for long moments, as if weighing his words. Her head was cocked slightly as if listening to something only she, or possibly Thaine, could hear. The Sulu.... She finally came to some kind of positive conclusion because the frown eased from her brow and she did offer him a small smile in return. "Aye, sir... She's tough. We just need to get her out of uncaring hands now...." She hesitated a moment before adding a quiet, "I'm glad you're alright."

The Chief Engineer looked a little flattered. "Well...you didn't have a need to worry." He managed, looking away for a moment. Then, "I'm glad you're alright, too," he admitted.

Caly nodded silently and let out a soft huff of breath. "It's part of my nature to worry," she told him quietly. "Like now," she admitted. Which was one of the reasons she was here instead of sleeping. Worry and nightmares. "For the first time in my life...I'm frightened. I think we're underestimating the enemy and that could be a very bad thing...." She glanced at him then and reached up to rub the spot between her eyes. "I just came from hearing the 'plan' from Lt. Casey.... Well, the part of it he told me..."

"You don't sound happy about it..." The engineer regarded her seriously.

Caly gave him a small, rather tight smile. "No, sir. I'm not. Admittedly I'm not a tactician. But even I can see the rather glaring flaws in logic..." she sighed. "I think the gas will work without too many problems. After all, we're trained Starfleet officers and outnumber the Enforcers four to one. But then... Then the Windsor is just going to leave us at the gate... Unwatched save for the Enforcers and we're going to calmly fly a runabout through the amassing armada to the station, get onboard, set charges in the reactor core and get the gate and mine field codes... And when we've done that, the TAC Team is going to fly the Nightingale over to wherever the Windsor has gone and snatch back the Captain... With the help of the woman presently sitting in his chair..." she added as she explained the 'plan' to him. "Then we're all gonna go speeding through the same armada and the gate while we blow it and the station that controls it, up."

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Is the Captain of the Windsor actually stupid enough to leave us totally unwatched? A ship full of Starfleet officers who have absolutely no allegiance to her and every allegiance to doing what ever we have to to prevent the invasion plan? And is the whole of the armada not going to notice a thing while we do all that?"

Thaine was quiet for a moment, before finally speaking. "Is that all?" he asked, apparently unphased by her worries.

Caly quirked a brow in his direction, totally not fooled by his unphased demeanor. "Did I mention that we had to fly through a mine field too?" she asked. "Oh, and I'll be on the away team. My spiders are setting the explosives," she added. "Proton and anti-proton packets... Never tried that before... Should be interesting." Now that she said it all, she was almost...almost starting to find the whole thing amusing. But not quite.

Thaine nodded, slowly. "Sounds a bit tricky."

Caly actually smiled at that. A little ruefully, but it was reflected in her eyes none-the-less. "Aye, sir. Just a wee bit," she agreed and drew in a quiet breath before expelling it slowly. She was still frightened. They were placing all their trust in the assumption that the Windsor captain was leaving them totally unwatched from outside the Sulu.

Thaine rubbed his chin. "You need to find a way to let off steam, Booter. Learn how to get worked up over little things. It puts things in perspective." He paused, and waved a hand vaguely. "Look...I don't know if we're gonna pull this off. Maybe we will, maybe we won't. We've still got some more surprises than they know. But we've got to try. We don't have a choice in this. And that's not supposed to be comforting. Alright?"

Caly blinked at him and she couldn't help it... She actually chuckled. "Why, sir...I do believe you're giving me a pep talk," she smiled.

"Damned right I am." His eyes held a trace of humour in them as he looked at her.

"And you're doing a damn fine job of it, sir," she offered the genuine praise and then sobered some, but the residual humor still lingered in the depths of her own eyes as she looked back at him. "Actually, sir... If the Windsor captain really is foolish enough to leave us unguarded, then I believe we just might pull this off... It's bold and daring... But we're Starfleet. If anyone can do it, we can," she admitted calmly and didn't add that she had a really bad feeling about their success or failure resting on the foolishness of one person. Then she leaned in to whisper confidentially, "That was me letting off steam, sir. It's the only way I can right now..."

"That's the best you can do?" He shook his head. "What do you think of the food we're getting?"

"That's the safest thing I can do," she quipped and shrugged her shoulders. "It makes me want to break out emergency rations, to be honest. Eating's become a chore without much reward. I miss ice cream..." She eyed him then, one brow quirking slightly. "Trying to distract me, sir?

"No, I'm trying to teach you how to prioritise," Thaine replied. "You're right, emergency rations are better than the stuff they're giving us. You know what I miss?" At Caly's vacant expression, Thaine answered his own question. "Sausages. Proper sausages. The ones you can't tell what meat they're supposed to have in them. And that's what I'm looking forward to getting when we get out of this hell-hole." He stopped his rant, and his expression softened from its previous one of distaste. "See, now that's healthy. I get something to look forward to, and I let off some steam." Thaine waved a finger at her, as if to better illustrate his point.

Caly gave him a look and snorted softly. "I want a clean uniform."

"And?" Thaine pressured.

She blinked and looked over at him. Then the confusion in her eyes cleared and for the first time since the incident in the Probe hold, a hint of her impish look was back. "Why, to eat a sausage with you, sir."

Thaine chuckled. "Good enough," he responded with a smile. "You gonna try and get some sleep now?"

Caly gave him a look. Had she just been manipulated? Well if she had, she really didn't mind. "I will, sir.... After I finish what I'm doing on the spiders and as long as I can stay here," she nodded and smiled back.

"See that you do," said Thaine, rising to his feet. "I'll see you later, Booter."

"Aye, sir." She tipped her head back and watched him get up. "That you will... And... Thank you, sir. For the pep talk," she smiled crookedly. She knew it wasn't something Thaine did on a regular basis and she honestly did appreciate it.

He waved her praise away, and began walking toward the access ladder. "No problem. Just get some rest, and we'll be even," he told her, without looking back.

---

"Breaking The News"
By: Lt. (jg) Natalia Druschev - Science Officer
Domenic Druschev - First Born Son

Location: Druschev's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21 07h12

***

She'd forgotten about this part. It had come rushing back with the first realization that she was really pregnant and yes, dear, this time she had three full minutes warning before barfing when she woke up. That was why it was called morning sickness, dear...and hanging over the basin feeling shaky and nauseous was going to be part of her waking routine for the next...few...weeks.

"Why didn't I remember this part?" she asked herself in Russian as she looked up at the image of disheveled hair and pale skin in the mirror. She grimaced. "You're supposed to glow," she reminded herself sternly, except she knew that came later when her tummy would be as large as a house and her ass gained several kilos and her ankles hurt. "Why didn't I remember all of this before I said yes!" She smiled anyway. She felt a little better now. Time for some juice, tea and dry toast; but she'd have to brave the Mess Hall. Not until after a shower. She made sure she cleaned her teeth.

So she yawned and dropped her PJs on the floor and stepped into the shower, calling for warm water rather than sonics. Ultra high frequency sonic vibrations had to be avoided during the First Trimester, so no more sonic showers for a while. She was officially thirteen weeks into the First Trimester, and the sex of the baby wasn't evident just yet. It was still an it...but for now it was her it. The shower made her feel much better and a few minutes of luxury and fastidious bathing, followed by an inspection of her tummy and a hand resting upon it that couldn't possibly feel anything yet...and an admonishment to her backside not to grow too big...and she just knew what was going to happen to her bra size!

It would be a while for all of that, though, and Doctor Sefton had given her a strict regimen of vitamins and boosters as well as a full range of vaccinations, examinations, dietary requirements, pre-natal check-up times for every day for the first two weeks, every two days for the next three weeks and every week thereafter until four weeks to term. It didn't look like Damhnait Sefton was taking any chances at all with the little one. After all, Natalia smiled, she'll be the Grandmother...maybe. Natalia couldn't help the little giggle at that. She'd just have to address her as Gran the next time she saw her...or Nanushka.

She spent a few minutes drying her hair and sweeping it back over her shoulders, a clip on each side but keeping it long and slightly curled as it fell in a dark mass down her back. Slight touches of make-up at the eyes and lips, a dab of perfume...she looked okay. She'd slept all day after the surgery and all night too. She'd slept very well indeed, thanks to the dose the doctor had prescribed. It hadn't been a good idea for her to be active during the first day and night, just to make sure the placenta attached properly and everything settled nicely. She felt quite good considering.

She slipped into her robe and felt her tummy again. She smiled and a tear welled in her eyes thinking about Shyla and the little life within her.

She made her way out to the living area and Domenic was sitting in his PJs with his VR helmet on, playing a computer game already. One foot kicked idly as his hands made intricate movements in the VR gloves. He was playing away in his virtual world and Natalia let him; it was better to be oblivious than to be asking endless questions about why the Enforcers were here, and why they hurt people, and why they were all prisoners, and why the replicators don't work and why, and why, and why...

"Your turn, Dom," she spoke loudly in Russian and he nodded, waving her off. "We have to go to the Mess Hall for breakfast, come on get moving - shower, young man!"

"Yeah okay...." He threw off the helmet and gave her a sullen look. "I don't want to go to the Mess Hall."

"We have to, Dom, sorry. I have to eat and so do you!" She walked through into her room and started dressing. Standard Class A Uniform. "Hurry up!" she called out after a few minutes. She was rewarded by a thumping as he walked noisily to the fresher and did as he was told.

Natalia sat on her bed and pulled on her boots, then just sat there for a few minutes. She hadn't told Domenic yet, and didn't really know how she was going to tell him. Would he understand? He was going to have to cope with her mood swings so she knew he had to know. Would he resent it? He was fairly level headed. He'd been badly upset by Shyla's death and Ainsley Chambers had spent some time with him, talking him through it. She was grateful to Ainsley for that. She hadn't been able to talk to him about it without bursting into tears. She started crying again just thinking about it, and reflexively her hands rested protectively on her tummy.

She was pregnant. Wow. She'd feel the wrigglies first, then the pressure on her bladder and the squirming life and then the robust kicking. At least Domenic had kicked like he was taking pre-natal karate lessons.

She smiled through her tears and dabbed at her eyes. She was teary and would probably remain that way for a few weeks. She now had a permanent reminder of Shyla Moreau. She hoped that it was a little girl. She would love a little girl. Natalia sighed and straightened her uniform, standing and staring at her full length image in the mirror and turning sideways. Grinning because she wouldn't see anything for weeks yet, she walked through into the dining area.

Domenic was sitting in the middle of the floor pulling on his boots. His blonde hair was spiky and still wet and he was wearing a one-piece grey look-alike uniform. Natalia thought that he looked quite dashing in it. He gave her a broad smile. "You slept all day!" he accused her in Russian. "Why was nurse Szerda here? Is there anything wrong with you?" His pale blue eyes were worried.

"Not wrong...." She sat down and faced him, her legs crossing at the ankles as she considered her words. "You know that Shyla was going to have a baby," she stated the obvious and watched his face. At the mention of the girl's name his eyes clouded over and he looked at his boots but nodded.

"Well, Shyla's baby didn't die, Domenic. The doctors managed to save it." She watched him intently.

Domenic looked up at his mother with a frown. "They used a stasis field?" he asked seriously. It was a question that caught Natalia a little off-guard until she realized that he'd been tutored by a Vulcan scientist.

She nodded. "But a stasis field can only work for so long." Domenic nodded and was staring intently at Natalia now. "Doctor Sefton told me that I was a suitable surrogate mother for the baby. She asked me if I would carry it to term. Until it's born."

They stared at each other for a few moments until Domenic seemed to digest the news. His eyes teared up. That made her eyes tear up. A second later he was in her arms and hugging her and she held him and started to cry again.

"It's okay, Domenic. I'm going to have Shyla's baby." She smiled with tears running down her cheeks.

"That's good," he said, nodding. He looked up at her and smiled too. "Do you think she knows?"

Natalia ran a hand through his damp hair and nodded. "Somewhere, she's watching us, and she knows. The baby's okay, and you're going to have to cope with me." She laughed softly. "I can be very difficult...."

"That's okay," he grinned and self-consciously wiped his eyes. "Nothing's really going to change...you're always difficult!"

Natalia laughed and grabbed him by the ear. "My son, you've seen nothing yet."

---

"Letting Go by Following"
by Ensign Amy Reese - Head Nurse
Ensign Cristobel Sefton - Nurse
Ensign Annikafiore Szerda - Nurse
and Lt. Cmdr. Damhnait Sefton - Chief Medical officer

Location: USS Sulu, Life Sciences Laboratory and Medical Lounge
Stardate: 57910.21, 07h57

***

As Annikafiore Szerda's hand wrapped around the upright shaft of the hypospray, she jumped in statement at the sudden entrance of Damhnait Sefton.

"What are you doing?" Sefton demanded an explanation from Annika, even though she'd known the answer before entering.

"What you can't allow yourself to do," Szerda quickly shot back, as she spun to face the doctor. "Sir."

"The plan does not account for this," Damhnait stated firmly.

"They're not stupid. They're catching on already," Annikafiore hissed lowly at Damhnait, wildly gesturing towards the Enforcers she knew to be in Main Sickbay, on the other side of the opaque doors. "We couldn't even trust the crew to act naturally to avoid arousing suspicions. How can we expect--" The doors to the life sciences laboratory opened again, and this time, Annikafiore didn't miss a beat in covering --"the Vulcan dosage level to be this much higher than the Terran dosage?"

Damhnait didn't look to the door, but calmly told the entrant, "I will let you know when we have finished up here, Cristobel. Why don't you get something to eat before reporting to duty?"

Cris Sefton offered little more than a grunt, before stepping out of the lab.

***

With secret projects abound to keep him busy outside of Sickbay's main ward, Cristobel hadn't seen Amy Reese since before Shyla's death. Despite having spent his last off-shift by crying and sleeping on his mother's sofa, Sefton was still tired. Sitting in the medical lounge, clad in his blood-stained Class A, he needed a strong l'Otj coffee from the mess hall just to get going. He vaguely remembered the last time he had spoken to Amy. She had mentioned something about a party, and he had replied about how peculiar it was that parties were becoming blatantly quick-and-easy attempts to bolster morale in single fell swoops.

And then Cristobel was having a fantasy about what would have happened if Shyla and he had attending the party, rather than having supper in their quarters, and so when the Enforcers came to take them to Crix, there was a revolt, and no one allowed the Enforcers to take Shyla, and so the hidden probes were launched successfully, and the Sulu got itself home, and Shyla gave birth to her child just as the Sulu returned to the Alpha Quadrant, and they all lived happily eve--

"Crissy?" The trepid, high-pitched voice stunted his endless stream of thoughts, and when his distant gaze focused, Amy was hunched forward and peering directly into his face. She tilted her head to one shoulder and frowned inquisitively. "Cris? Hi?"

His glossy black eyes focused on Amy, and even after he became alert, it still took him an awkward number of seconds before he offered a disappointed, "Hello."

She smiled tightly and cast about for something to say, other than a sympathetic apology for Shyla's loss, but it seemed misplaced considering she had nothing to do with her death.... After a near interminable, and highly uncomfortable silence, Amy's grin broadened and she playfully tweaked a spike of Cris' hair. "You really need a styling, Crissy. I can...you know...try something out if you want."

"I don't care what it looks like," Cristobel sighed, and didn't bother to move his scalp away from Amy's grasp.

She smiled cheerfully and plunked herself down beside him on the sofa, saying, "Oh, of course you care, Crissy. You're just...too preoccupied to realize it right now." Casually, Amy slipped her arm through his and affectionately leaned against him. "Crissy...I'm sorry you lost your best friend." Watching him pointedly, she whispered, "Though, I think I know how it feels."

Slighting squinting his eyes at Amy in a look of consideration and disbelief, Cristobel calmly asked, "And who did you witness being battered to bloody death?" Cris' hand was over his mouth a moment after the words rolled out, along with a muttered, "Sorry." After a contrite beat, he corrected himself, "I meant...whom did you witness being battered to bloody death?"

Amy frowned chidingly. "No one, of course," she told him. "But losing a friend, no matter what, probably feels just as bad as having one's head bashed in." She shrugged. "It's how I felt when you and I had our falling out."

In silence, Cristobel frowned ever deeply at her words, but the frown wasn't for her. He replied, sounding vaguely disturbed by his realisation, "I don't remember how I felt..."

"Well," she whispered softly, "isn't that for the best? Can't you just...grieve now?"

"I mean, I don't remember what it felt like when we fought," Sefton clarified for Amy and himself, still thoughtful. "Perhaps... maybe I purged it by writing about it."

"The song," Amy guessed, nodding. "Well...if you don't remember, we can always re-enact it." She grinned facetiously. "Slap included."

"I think I'll skip the dress rehearsal," Cris replied, with not nearly as much humour as he intended.

Amy shrugged and leaned her head onto his shoulder. "Yeah," she whispered, "me too." There was a heavy sigh, then silence. Finally, Amy mentioned casually, "You going to change out of that uniform? Blood stains don't become you, Crissy."

"The replicators are offline," Cris flatly said, by way of an answer. "I've never had the need to waste matter supplies by leaving unused uniforms hanging in my closet."

"Just take off your jacket," she advised. "Or wear a smock." Amy gripped his forearm gently, and implored him with her somber blue eyes. "It's time to take it off, Crissy," she whispered.

Attempting to call to mind the reasons he had rationalized in the past day - unsettling the Enforcers, angering people out of pitying him, preventing himself from forgetting about Shyla or her child - Cristobel was more afraid of causing Amy the kind of ache that never left him. Almost immediately, he complied; shrugging off his black and grey and red uniform jacket. Feeling naked, despite still being clad in his high-collared tunic, Cris muttered, "I'll get a smock. But... what do I do with this?" He crumpled the soiled jacked into a ball on his lap.

Amy gingerly eased the discarded garment from him, and slipped off the sofa. "I'll take care of it." She smiled fondly and hugged the jacket to her chest as she studied Cris. "I promise you'll smile again soon. Remember what I warned about those wrinkles," she reminded him.

"Smiles create just as many wrinkles," Cristobel responded, to be tongue-in-cheekly contrary, rather than to intentionally fight against grinning.

"But at least they're happy wrinkles," she countered with a grin.

Sidestepping the downward spiral that was their logic, Cristobel told Amy, "Damhnait is going to be shuffling the duty roster randomly; she doesn't want the Enforcers to be able to predict where any of us will be at any given time. Every hour or half hour or bi-hour the staff will be switched in and out of the lab, and the main ward, and this lounge, and the morgue, and the roving patrols, and even the bridge for when Counselor Scott isn't posted there. I'm going to end up in the lab for most of the shift, though; would you mind being assigned there whenever I'm not?" --Quieter, he explained-- "We have to load laporalyn into hypospray cartridges."

Amy was instantly pensive and curious, and her glittering lips parted to query for elaboration. For once, though, she didn't ask questions. "I'll do it," she replied. "Just tell me when."

Cristobel nodded, and, with his palms against his thighs, slowly rose to his feet. Rolling his sore shoulders back, he gently asked Amy, "Are you going to do anything to differentiate today, your last day as Head Nurse?"

Amy sighed, and turned her gaze to the ceiling for inspiration. "Oh, I don't know," she mused. "Spread joy and happiness...." Regarding Cris again, she grinned meaningfully and added, "Or maybe just get someone smiling." Amy shrugged as she began backing towards the door. "And if that doesn't work," she called to him, "I'll dispense much-needed fashion advice, such as opting for the latest jacketless uniforms." Giggling, she cupped her bosom. "What better way to accentuate one's assets!"

"Alas, I'm lacking up front," Cristobel deadpanned, with a pat to his upper chest.

Leaning around him to appraise his backside, she commented, "But certainly not behind." She winked at him, and refrained from swatting his rear as her unbridled thoughts dictated. "Now, come on" --Amy skipped up alongside him and linked their arms-- "we have fashion trends to set." Affectionately nudging his shoulder with her cheek, she softly appended, "And smiles to churn out."

---

"Don't Let This Happen Again"
By: Lieutenant Commander Damhnait Sefton; Chief Medical Officer
Lieutenant, j.g. Benjamin Talltree; Medical Officer

Location: USS Sulu, CMO's office
Stardate: 57910.21, 07h59

***

"You wanted to see me, Doctor?" Talltree asked politely from the doorway.

"Yes. Please, come in," Damhnait offered flatly, without rising from her seat. The chair that was normally on the other side of her desk was notably absent.

Talltree took a single step into the office, allowing the door to close, and stood calmly, clasping his hands behind his back, peaceful and patient.

"I can understand that the minutia of Starfleet procedures and protocols may be lost on you after your time away from the 'fleet," Sefton told him, without the sympathy her words suggested. "What I can't imagine is how you could forget the integrity that is depended upon in medical documentation. I assume you recall the final report you recorded on stardate 57910.19?"

"I do."

Despite the grim menace in her voice, Damhnait's polite smile never left her face, as she informed him, "The next time you feel the need to get creative with your reports, and record facts that couldn't possibly have been substantiated by a half-operational medical tricorder, you're off my staff. Science or Security might take you - I'm starting to think they actively seek officers who can facilitate the murder of enemies. For the sake of clarification: I don't."

"I understand," Talltree nodded placidly. "Is there anything else?"

"No. We can continue this conversation in our own quantum universe. You're dismissed until your duty shift." Sefton didn't afford him another look -- returning her attention to Derrell's encrypted, but honest, recounting of the discussed event, which appeared on Sefton's desktop terminal. Talltree turned and left without another word.

---

"Subterfuge"
By Ensign Sanat Vijay - Flight Control Officer
Enforcer Kirsha Dublai

Location: VIP Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21 08h38

***

"Half-breed!"

The familiar voice, only harsher than the previous night, ripped his attention from the replicator. Even from the distance separating them, her heat radiated against Vijay, and her all too well known scent lured him. Instead of the grind of rubbing leather, this time, there was only the clack of armor as she marched towards him.

A gloved hand gripped his arm roughly and jerked him around. The Andorian's blue lips spread into a lustful grin. "You had an appointment with me. I'm afraid tardiness cannot be tolerated. You will follow me." Her gaze lingered on his sturdy, muscled form, and a low growl rippled in her throat. "In my quarters," she purred for his ears only, then she stalked past him.

Sanat tried to look as though he was thoroughly annoyed by her gruffness while replying, "Yessir. At once, Sir." Following her out of the dining area stiffly, and as obediently as was believable under the circumstances, he knew why Kirsha had tracked him down; and put on this very public display of authority. Their relationship, if it could be called that, had to appear as though she was controlling him rather than vice versa.

It was all according to Farrell's plan to glean as much information as was possible about the Enforcers, their shift schedules, deployment, patrols, everything...from the most pliable of the bunch, Enforcer Kirsha Dublai. And maybe even more importantly, the Empire's way of doing things in this universe: Service protocols, social structure, racial power bases, who's who, everything...everything of relevance anyway. The fact that they had had such passionate and wanton sex was a tidbit that he left off his mission report when the FCO placed the encoded isolinear chip inside Maintenance Access Hatch 435-A.

An engineer, most likely Ensign Hansen, would retrieve it minutes later for downloading and decoding. The information contained therein would find its way to Ensign Lektar's PADD and eventually to Mason as well as Lt. Commander T'Kal. He shook his head silently, there were so many, many, many ways this could go wrong...badly wrong for all of them if they were to get caught.

***

They barely made it inside her quarters before they were kissing each other fiercely and struggling to get Dublai out of her armor for more fleshly pleasures, even more intense sexual delights. Vijay breathed in between kisses, "You would...think this...would be...easier to take off...." His mind tried to stay detached once again, but her appetite for his body made that difficult, if not impossible.

"And I would've thought you'd like the challenge." With a bestial grunt, Kirsha shoved Sanat onto the couch, then flung aside her breastplate.

"A challenge yes..." he replied. "A delay...no."

The feminine curves of her torso were perfectly defined in the tight bodysuit beneath. Radiant blue flesh expanded across her chest as the zipper came down, and she prowled towards Sanat, who was hastily removing his own clothing as, little by little, the remaining shells of her armor dropped to the floor like empty husks.

"You do so please me, Vulcan," she told him. "Will you not consider following me back to the Windsor?" Kirsha dropped onto the couch, straddling Sanat's waist.

He had managed to get his uniform off in addition to his under garments before the Andorian sat on him, pinning him against the soft cushion. He could feel the heat of her desire as the blue woman pressed herself against his maleness. Much to his mind's disgust, the FCO found he wanted her as badly as she wanted him...a little voice inside his head, laughed at the half Vulcan's feeble attempt to retain control of his ardor, instead Sanat reached up and strongly pulled her closer.

Letting his lips graze hers before softly biting her chin, the half Vulcan said in between light nibbles, "I have considered it...but I don't think your captain trusts us..." Vijay let his hands wander down her body slowly, pinching here, grabbing there until finally, they reached Kirsha's suit zipper. With a seemingly independent, intelligent mind of their own, both finished what the Enforcer had started by unzipping and pulling the tight garment off of his lover's shoulders. She emitted a little moan as his lips rasped roughly across her throat.

The pilot worked his way closer to her cheek, lightly kissing, teasing her luminous blue skin with playful bites until he breathed into her ear, "What is the correct way to ask for a transfer in this...universe?"

"You declare yourself as my mate," she whispered thickly. Her blue-tinged nails dragged lightly down his chest, until one hand disappeared between his legs. She chuckled hoarsely at his gasp. "So...you will come with me, then?"

Sanat bit her earlobe sensuously. "I see..." he murmured huskily in return as Kirsha stroked him and his passion with an equally bountiful purpose. Inside, his logical persona secretly lamented, because there was no use trying to stay in control of his other half in a situation where her hunger aroused both halves libido so effectively. It was becoming futile to remain cold and emotionless with a woman as lusty as the one squirming atop of him now. Giving in to his desire, Vijay slid his lips back down to her throat and towards the small gap between her breasts. He uttered with a building feral growl, "Perhaps..." The pilot felt her shudder as a slow pursing kiss on her right breast elicited a pleasurable sound from the Enforcer's mouth. "...I need some more convincing though."

Somehow and in some fashion, during their excited groping, Dublai's tight, clingy body suit came off and dropped to the floor. His coarse fingertips slid up her spine and then back downward towards Kirsha's hips where both hands firmly locked themselves to her perfectly formed gluteus medius'. Without any warning, Vijay performed a Vulcan defensive roll, which placed him atop of her on the Enforcer's couch.

Grinning down at a surprised Dublai with a hungry, almost animal-like grin, the man said with an obvious inference, "Say...another few hours worth?" He didn't wait for her to answer before bending down and tugging at Kirsha's erect left nipple with his teeth.

Panting huskily and clawing at the sofa's tweed fabric, Kirsha arched beneath him as she cried out an emphatic, "Yes!" Wrapping her powerful legs around his waist, feet locked around the ankles, she thrust Sanat downwards and into her. A deep, guttural snarl rumbled in her throat, and with a bestial ferocity, she moved against him ever faster.

The Enforcer's lust, her limitless need for highly physical sex, stirred a trace of the Vulcan fire deep within his body's genetic memory and Vijay found himself, much against his better judgment, once again matching her fevered movements as they both sought sexual release together. Sanat felt his blood beginning to boil as he uttered a primeval howl of bloodlust as Kirsha's nails clawed at his back with reckless abandon, literally tattooing him with tiny rivulets of greenish-red blood. Her pleas for more titillation simply drove his fervor to higher levels as they traded pelvic thrusts in the frenzied heat of copulation.

It was with immobilizing exhaustion and a feverish coating of perspiration on their limp bodies that Kirsha and Sanat lay entangled afterwards. Moans and screams having subsided, there was now only the hoarse gasps for air and hard swallows that cut through the silence, then came Kirsha's lazy chuckle. "Insatiable," she accused, and managed with little vigor to kiss Sanat's parched lips. "You must come with me," she whispered breathlessly.

He riposted nonchalantly, "Quite," while gently stroking her antennae after Kirsha laid her head on his chest. Sanat said hoarsely, his throat raw from their frenetic lovemaking, "I believe you've convinced me...one should look after themselves when the rules change unexpectedly...yes?" His other hand snuck its way down her back...stopping just shy of her posterior. "And to whom would I make my transfer request?" he asked lazily.

"You will be my mate," she answered with a chuckle. "Captain T'Briane will have final approval, of course. You will have to prove your worth - and although you will be nothing more than a creature of pleasure for me, you will still be required to some other purpose." The Andorian grinned up at her pet, stroking between his legs approvingly. "Some will try to test your resolve, your strength of will. If you're not careful, you're liable to get a knife in the back. Understand?"

Sanat let a low guttural sound escape his lips as Kirsha continued to amuse herself. "I do. And as I'm sure you can tell by now...I'm not your typical Vulcan." His mind turned itself back on and worked to capture as much information as was possible in Vijay's current mental state while she continued to talk. If this morning was anything like the previous two...there wouldn't be much conversation until he had literally exhausted Dublai's need for sexual stimulation.

Without realizing it, the ensign found himself unconsciously responding to Kirsha's purposeful fondling; his hand moved past her buttocks and down inside her luminous blue thighs. Sanat's fingertips started to lightly stroke her femininity, making Dublai quiver with each touch. "So..." Vijay's voice grew thicker as her manipulation began to have the desired effect, "how does one avoid offending one's superior officer...in this universe?"

"You behave." Kirsha smiled significantly and with approval as his fingers probed deeper. She sighed, closing her eyes languidly. "You must...stand out," she managed huskily, "you must prove yourself worthy, and strong, and loyal...." Kirsha tensed and bit down on a cry, then exhaled shakily. "Framing one's competition is quite a frequent occurrence.... The captain doesn't care - it's just one more way of proving the extents one will go to gain her respect." With a gentle purr, Kirsha nipped at Sanat's lower lip and dragged it through her teeth before kissing him fully. "There is the risk," she murmured, "that you could end up gaining her distrust.... You've stabbed backs, so why not hers? But perform well" --she grinned again suggestively-- "in every way, and you will remain in her good graces."

He smiled back at her innuendo. The Half Vulcan felt his blood beginning to stir again as she continued stroking him firmly. Trying to forestall the building, inevitable burst of sexual energy, Sanat husked back, "And to both survive..." he closed his eyes for a brief second trying to retain a semblance of mental focus before reopening them, "...and advance, it's a matter of eliminating...opposition without appearing to try...and climb too high too...fast?"

She chuckled throatily. "Oh my...you'll fit in perfectly, my pet."

Kirsha made a point to drag her ample breasts against his chest when she kissed roughly him again. The sensuousness of the multiple sexual sensations on his body made Vijay forget the mission to gather more information momentarily as he pulled her on top of his muscular frame. Placing both hands strongly on her sumptuous hips, he slowly pushed himself inside the female Enforcer, reveling in the effect his lusty action had on her.

Groaning as her body responded to the summons of her lust, Kirsha swayed against Sanat with renewed desire. "You're catching on," she whispered thickly. "Captain Bancroft will approve...."

Vijay let out a strained, "I'm a fast learner...." The FCO let her dictate the pace of their renewed lovemaking, releasing her hips to let his hands wander their way up to Dublai's heaving breasts. Sanat managed a low, "How--" as Dublai put both her hands on his chest for support.

"Later," Kirsha said, her voice uncontrollably loud and trembling, "you will apply that ointment once again." Her fingernails kneaded his chest, leaving red welts on his dark skin, as if in anticipation of her own massage. "Then," she rasped, "you will learn all you need to know."

Sanat's voice was heavily laden with desire. "As you wish...." The female Enforcer slid back and forth with an ever-increasing ferocity, causing the half Vulcan to figuratively growl out his approval. Their sexual heat grew quicker and within moments, both lovers were covered in sweat again as they sought to consummate the new relationship that Kirsha sought and Vijay agreed to...albeit in subterfuge. It was obvious Mason's plan had succeeded beyond anyone's best estimate...Enforcer Kirsha Dublai, bane of the Sulu's crew, would willingly supply them much needed intelligence for their fight to get home.

But somewhere in the back of his half Human, half Vulcan mind, a tiny voice whispered, Go ahead and enjoy this role for now...you know there will be a reckoning later...there always is....

---

"Looking Out"

by Commander Lyrr Tayla - Executive Officer
and Lt. Cmdr. Damhnait Sefton - Chief Medical Officer

Location: USS Sulu, Executive Officer's Office
Stardate: 57910.21, 09h15

***

After Crewman Boss had come down to Sickbay for a checkup -- because of an Enforcer's punishment -- Damhnait Sefton's relatively calm façade had begun to show cracks. The punishment itself had been minor and efficient, resulting in no lasting damage, but Jol'An had shown signs of malnutrition. The food being served to the crew simply wasn't being optimized for any digestive systems beyond those of Terrans. This led Sefton to verbally worry about how many others in the crew weren't at their best health, including the command staff. Before she marched back into her office -- and out of the earshot of the Enforcers -- she ordered the computer to set a medical checkup appointment for Commander Lyrr. Lyrr had known better than to believe the doctor was concerned solely for her well-being, so upon discovery of her impending physical assessment, she'd rearranged her schedule to move up the appointment. She thought it best to speak with the doctor before they arrived at the Gate, when they would likely find little opportunity to do so.

Now, the appointment having arrived, Lyrr gestured to the unoccupied chair across from her desk, welcoming the tall woman into her office.

"I hope you haven't been busy in sickbay lately," she began with an admixture of expectancy and geniality.

"Certainly not busy by my standards, but I am keeping my staff on the move," Damhnait replied with a touch of humoured bravado, but grew more serious. "Tomorrow should be adventurous, though. One of my nurses is in danger of contracting Tarkalean flu."

Lyrr frowned briefly. "Really? And what of the rest of the ship?"

"Because of standard vaccinations, none of the officers on board can catch Tarkalean flu. Unless they intentionally infect themselves with a sample from the civilian on board who caught the flu from the Wadi. Which is what Nurse Szerda has done to herself," Sefton explained dryly. "As it is, she will be quarantined on a biobed near to the Enforcers, and I will need to vaccinate the crew tomorrow, to ensure no one is harmed by any other toxins that may... happen... to enter the ship's atmosphere, once we have arrived at the Gate."

"Other toxins?" Lyrr repeated, interest piqued fully. "Toxins from...say...a malfunction in the environmental systems?"

"A malfunction of the system might be caught by the operations staff of either ship. Toxins released into specific deck sections would have to be done so manually;" Sefton sped up the pace of her words, and then stopped them abruptly. Without pausing, Damhnait asked Lyrr in great concern, "I am not telling you anything new, am I? 'Commander Bancroft informed you of the plan?"

Lyrr cleared her throat, staring down at her folded hands clasping tighter until her knuckles whitened. "The Commander and I aren't exactly confidantes, Doctor. She believes me to be erratic and intractable, therefore keeps me informed only on a need to know basis." Regarding Damhnait with unmasked reproach for the insult dealt her, Lyrr said, "I know now, and that's what matters. Now, please...what does an officer with a susceptibility to Tarkalean flu have to do with this?"

Intentionally taking an extended moment to frown her concern at the communication breakdown, Damhnait eventually chose to explain, "Very few of us know that the sudden outbreak of Tarkalean flu is entirely controlled. As such, I will be allowed to vaccinate the crew, but I will be doing so with laporalyn, which will protect our people in the event that any of them are in the same sections as the Enforcers, when they are dosed with anesthezine gas."

Lyrr smiled in admiration at the wily doctor. "And you require Nurse Szerda to become infected to convince the Enforcers there is a legitimate risk to themselves?"

"Szerda has already done so. As she... correctly supposed, an actor faking the symptoms will not be enough to fool the Enforcers," Sefton said, clashing with both pride and revulsion at someone on her staff, other than herself, risking her own health. "I had hoped to find out from you what has been planned next -- once we have arrived at the Gate and have subdued the Enforcers."

"Ideally, our goal is to rescue the captain, then proceed through the Gate before it is destroyed by our Away Team." Lyrr knew better than to express concern in front of another crew member while she was their apparent leader -- it wouldn't do well for morale. "I am not certain, however," she continued, careful to select words that wouldn't betray her anxieties, "how the Sulu will bode against the Windsor. I have no doubts that once our rescue attempt commences, Captain T'Briane will quickly learn of the situation, and react. Assuming as well that the gateway is heavily guarded with a deployment of attack ships, we will not escape without a fight. Is your staff equipped to deal with the casualties we will likely accumulate?"

"Always," Sefton assured her without half-a-moment's hesitation. "It is particularly fortunate that we had not the opportunity to recycle the surplus of tools and medications newly replicated for the Jem'Hadar combat."

"Good. We'll need them. Especially if your plan fails," Lyrr reminded her grimly. "I don't want any more of our crew dead because of desperately hatched schemes to overthrow the Enforcers. I've had enough of it."

"Agreed," Damhnait replied enthusiastically, almost harshly. Death reminded her of life, though, and she was much more kind in sharing, "Shyla Moreau's child has survived. All examinations have been positive since Natalia Druschev has become the child's surrogate mother."

"I want Lt. Druschev kept under close guard by both medical and security staff," Lyrr ordered, and with uninhibited fervour added, "We lost Shyla once; we're not losing her again." Re-assuming her momentarily lapsed composure, Lyrr smiled stiffly at Damhnait. "Anything else? With as little as I know about everything that's going on, I'm probably the worst person to seek for information."

Regarding Lyrr questioningly, Damhnait blunted, "There is no one else. Scott has been traditionally left out of tactical planning. Thaine is antisocial when we don't have armed forces discouraging sneaky whispering. Sam hardly leaves the bridge. Tagliesh is isolated without a staff. I simply don't know how much I can trust information from Bancroft, or even from T'Kal, since his information comes from her."

"So I," Lyrr surmised, "am your last resort?" She chuckled at the irony of holding the first officer position on the Sulu, yet being sought out last for information. It was distressingly humourous. "Well, I'm glad I'm on your list at all, Doctor. And since I have nothing else to do aside from sitting at this desk, watching my fiancé exchange affection with Commander Bancroft, is there anything you'd like me to help with, Doctor?"

"You were the first person I wanted to speak with. I am simply explaining why there is no one else here," Damhnait explained precisely, deeply disturbed by Lyrr's confidence level. "Before anything else, I need you to find out the details of the plans to rescue the Captain and to get through the Gate. I expect the senior security and tactical officers would be planning it, while they tool caddy for Engineers. We need a system to communicate the plans throughout the senior staff, in order to improve upon the plans, and to disseminate them down through the ranks."

"Actually," Lyrr corrected with mild irritation, "as far as I know, Commander T'Kal has recruited Ensign Farrell to carry out most of the planning. The security staff isn't even involved. This I only learned through infrequent correspondences with the ensign himself. I'm not exactly in the loop, as they say."

"Why is a junior Operations officer working up a tactical plan by himself?" Sefton blurted, completely regardless to the impropriety of her open incredulity.

Lyrr cleared her throat, and answered tautly, "I don't know, Doctor. But I believe it is because Ensign Farrell is experienced in all manner of subterfuge. And the entire TAC Team is missing...so Farrell was likely T'Kal's best choice for the job. I'm afraid I'm incapable of participating too much in the planning. I've already proven myself disobedient and defiant - my movements are being closely watched. All I can do is sit back, help where I'm able...and trust that my staff knows what they're doing."

Feeling herself sucked in by that helplessness, Damhnait was able to let go of her frustration for the moment and find a very mild smile. She smiled because she was reminded of her last substantial conversation with Tayla. Piqued by curiosity, Damhnait asked, "Do you think this will teach you to continue to trust the crew, even in other situations that you would typically try to control by yourself?"

"There is little choice in the matter," she replied diplomatically. "If there were one, I would trust them to carry out my orders, but in my current position, I have to have faith that they will act in the best interests of this ship. And I know they will."

Sefton nodded silently, almost letting an awkward kind of quiet descend, until she quipped, "I think I'm going to miss my bridge officer exam tomorrow..."

"Oh?" Lyrr exhaled slowly, watching her hands absently. She glanced up at Damhnait. "Should I reschedule it, then?"

"We can reschedule it after we get home and regain permission to use the holosystems. At the moment, my focus must remain on the crew's health," Sefton asserted resolvedly. Patting her medical kit, the Doctor segued, "I believe you could benefit from a nutrient and vitamin shot."

"In case the Tarkalean flu comes my way?" Lyrr guessed, then smiled and vacated her seat to facilitate the doctor's duty. "And you'll be administering the same to the rest of the crew soon?"

"That won't be administered until 57910.22 to prevent anyone from completely metabolizing the laporalyn prior to when it is needed. This" --Damhnait retrieved a hypospray from her kit-- "is really a nutrient shot. Bajorans, in particular, suffer when deprived of the vitamin surretine, among others, which has been lacking since the Enforcers began making the menu selections." She met Lyrr beside her desk to activate the hypospray against her upper arm.

Lyrr nodded stiffly, managing a flash of a smile for Damhnait. "At least someone is looking out for me when I'm not. Thank you, Doctor."

"It's my duty," Sefton reminded her automatically, and, with a bit more care, insisted, "There are probably more of us than you think." Damhnait moved to let herself out of Lyrr's office, but stopped abruptly when she had a thought: "I trust that my bridge exam will only have to be delayed by a single day or two, before we get home. I'll see you once we approach the Gate."

"Of course, Doctor. And I'll see you in the holodeck in two days." Lyrr smiled pointedly. "You'll pass, I'm sure."

Nodding undauntedly, Damhnait agreed, "Just as soon as you pass your own latest command 'exam'."

---

"Just Like Them"
By: Lt. Commander Benedict T'Kal
Lt. Xayella Tagliesh

Location: Xayella's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21, 10h30

***

Xayella looked up from her datapadd as the door opened, and wondered for a moment what guise to wear for this particular visitor. Did she put on the haunted face of a woman ravaged in the vilest of ways? Or would it be wasted on a man who likely knew her rape had been a ploy, and instead don her normally sly grin? As T'Kal stepped into her quarters with his wholly unreadable expression, Xayella found herself at a loss. She opted, in the end, for a wan smile. "Ben," she greeted with a tip of her head.

"Xayella." He gave her the barest smile, as politeness dictated. He scrutinized her face, and it only took a moment to see the truth. She didn't have the look in her eyes. There was no grief, no outward show of distress and he was neither surprised by it nor wholly glad of it. "I see you are faring well after your encounter." His voice was flat an unemotional.

Xayella rolled her eyes and sighed heavily as she slid her feet onto the tabletop. The charade was obviously up. "Why do you think I've been secluding myself in quarters? They'd see through me in a second if I roamed the ship like this!" She shrugged and gestured for an empty chair. "Is this what you're here for? To admonish me for fooling Tebrianne's men?"

"For getting one killed?" he clarified. "Having a man killed for something he didn't do is something that they would do, Xayella. It served no real purpose other than to bring more pain to Tebrianne. She's not your bloody executioner, Lieutenant! She has enough to worry about than your games with the Enforcers. I see you failed to notify anyone of higher rank what you were planning...but that doesn't surprise me with what has gone before." He gave her a disapproving look as he sat in the chair she'd offered.

"How does arranging a murder suit you?" he asked coldly.

She snorted dismissively. "I had no way of knowing he would be killed. If you want someone to blame for that, how about your half-breed girlfriend?" Sighing heavily, she swung her legs off the desk and leaned in closer to him. "Look, we just wanted to lower their morale, weaken their defenses. They killed Shyla Moreau, Ben," she rasped, "and you're complaining about one dead enforcer? Where the hell are your priorities!"

Her reaction brought forth all his rage. It was an instant of time where the pure malevolence of his past surged up to meet her, and he reached out and gripped her throat like a cobra striking, pulling her off the chair to within inches of his face. The pent up violence was extreme, and she could see it in his eyes. "You killed Shyla Moreau," he growled harshly. "What they did was react to your orders, Lieutenant." His grip was adamant and she could barely breathe. "Did you think your little plan for the probes would really escape their notice? Did you even bother to ask before you ordered an innocent girl and her unborn child to their deaths? Did you?" He shook her then and threw her backward into the chair hard enough to rock it backward as he surged to his feet. There were livid red marks on her throat.

"Don't you dare ask me where my priorities lay! It's in getting this crew home and in getting my captain back from those bastards. Not in risking lives in stupid games!" His voice was low and menacing.

Trembling fingers massaged the tender flesh at her throat, and the burning tears oxygen deprivation had forced to her eyes only enhanced the look of shocked fear she regarded T'Kal with. Between her hoarse coughs and bewilderment, Xayella could say nothing, nor could she bring herself to leave her seat and seek a safe distance. It gave her the time she required to register what had transpired, and realize she was likely at far greater risk with T'Kal than she was in the hands of any one of the enforcers guarding their ship.

There was also enough time to find flaws in his reasoning, and anger at his implications. Narrowing her eyes fiercely, she rose, though did step away and behind her chair for protection. "I didn't know she was pregnant," Xay whispered through clenched teeth. "I did not order them to participate. Shyla Moreau did so of her own free will - no one can be blamed for her death other than the man who killed her. If you didn't despise me as you do, you would damn well know that!" Still holding her throat and gripping the chair back firmly with her other hand, Xayella grinned viciously at Ben. "You feel guilty, don't you?" She chuckled. "You blame yourself for not protecting the ship, the captain you swore to keep safe at all times. You feel bloody worthless because you can't do a damn thing to protect any of us! Admit it...you coward!"

She saw his face change. The blood draining from it and the dead calm in the eyes. His fist made a cracking sound as it clenched. "You gave the orders that resulted in the death of Petty Officer Moreau. You started a chain of events by ordering Ensign Sefton to do as he did. Crewman Moreau did her duty. Her blood is on your hands." Benedict's voice was harsh, "You can't even accept responsibility, can you? You'll blame everyone else but yourself. This time, Lieutenant, you stepped over the bounds. You failed to consult with the proper chain of command and Salinger isn't here to cover for your stupidity. You murdered Moreau just as much as the enemy did. You'll live with that for the rest of your life. Though in your case, I doubt that you have the conscience for it!" He stepped closer, his violet eyes drilling into hers. "I'll see you answer for it. If we ever get back home - you'll answer for it, Lieutenant! I should slap you in a collar and throw your ass in the Brig! From now on, you'll do nothing without consulting Commander Lyrr or myself. Is that clear?"

"No!" she shouted defiantly. "I refuse to take orders from a man who's sleeping with the enemy." Her sneer was one of revulsion and disdain. "You've lost your mind, T'Kal. I don't know what this is about, but it's clear it really has nothing to do with me. Yes, I feel guilty for Shyla's death, but I'll be damned if I let you convince me I had any direct responsibility for it! You stupid bastard...the plan wasn't even mine to begin with!" She laughed, then, harshly. "But I'm the perfect scapegoat, so why not? You've always hated me, and I know it isn't beneath you to seek any opportunity to take it out on me." Xayella's gaze darkened, and her smile twisted cruelly as she whispered, "And if there is so much as a bruise on my neck, T'Kal, the Captain will hear about it when he returns." She shrugged casually. "So much for your honour, hm?"

"You stupid bitch," he sneered. "Tebrianne is on our side, and Tayla and I are still together - it's just a ruse to fool the Windsor so we can organise a coordinated attack. If it wasn't your idea, whose was it? Whose idea was it to set up the Enforcer and have Tebrianne knife him? Because the orders were clear - anyone harassing female crew would be punished severely. Crix was an example of that! You gave the orders - didn't you?"

"There were no orders!" she hollered in aggravation. "There was collaboration, but no bloody orders, you fool! But it doesn't matter what I say, does it? You'll believe what you want because you've already convinced yourself I'm a wicked, heartless bitch who cares only for herself and that fastest route to promotion, right?" Xayella shook her head slowly. "You're wrong," she whispered. "I cried like everyone else when I heard Shyla was dead. I still grieve for her. If it was truly my fault, I would admit it. For that bastard enforcer's death, I will gladly take the blame! Hell, I probably even deserve some gratitude. But I am not going to let you guilt me into taking any responsibility for Shyla's death. I'm not weak, T'Kal," she reminded him coldly. "I'm not going to prostrate before you and beg forgiveness. If you want a woman to get on her knees for you, go talk to your fiancée."

The ringing slap sent her stumbling backward. It was open handed yet his fingers were hard, and the blow was pulled at the last moment so that it didn't break her neck. He stood closer as if the chair hadn't even been there. "Don't ever talk about her that way again." It was a cold statement. For an irrational moment he wished that he carried a painstick.

Xayella pulled herself upright fully, and shot a piercing glare at him as she dropped her hand from her wounded cheek. "You never lay a hand on me again," she rasped, "and I'll think about it."

"You'll damned well do as I order, Lieutenant," he snarled. "I've had it with your games and your attitude. You don't give a damn about anyone but yourself! How you managed to get this far in Starfleet I'll never know, but you will respect Commander Lyrr. If I ever hear you speak like that about her again you're going to the Brig. As for that little rape scene you staged so effectively...I wonder what Matthew Salinger would say about that? I don't think he'd commend you for it." His face was filled with distaste. "You make me sick, woman. You're lower than they are! Salinger doesn't deserve a lodestone like you! You're restricted to quarters from now on. Disobey me and I'll have an Enforcer standing outside your door."

Xayella laughed shrilly, jeeringly. "Oh, that's quite the threat coming from a man who's just assaulted a defenseless woman! As far as I'm concerned, you're unfit for duty, therefore nothing you say is binding." She smirked and confided, "That means I don't have to listen to a word you say, and if you dare drag me anywhere near the brig, or have an enforcer even glance in my direction, you'll find yourself with a reprimand, most honourable Commander T'Kal." Xayella nodded towards her door, still taunting him with a grin. "Get out before you jeopardize your career further."

He stepped up to her, menacingly. "You really don't get it do you? I don't give a damn what you think, or what you consider. You will obey a direct order. You don't have the rank or the ability to reprimand me, Lieutenant. Quite the contrary." His voice was calmer, more controlled. "Salinger isn't here, Xayella, you're alone with a crew that despises you. I hold all the cards in this game. What do you think Tebrianne will do when I tell her that you duped her into murdering a man? You think she'll shrug it off? Or do you think she'll use you to set an example? Quite frankly I don't care less what happens to you. This is one of those moments where you can see what your attitude to people creates. There's no one here to protect you, Xayella."

He smiled coldly. "No one who'll care. Set foot outside that door and see what happens. I'm not kidding around. I've tried to be friendly, but you're just not worthy of it any longer. You can deny any responsibility in setting a plan in motion that resulted in a senseless death, but your actions are not those of a Starfleet Officer. You manipulated Tebrianne into having to discipline a man who did not commit the crime he was accused of. To maintain discipline in this universe the rules are strict. You forced the only option available - to kill him, or face losing control of the Sulu. If that happens we'll see defenseless women being collared and used as bed slaves, because that is the usual practice amongst the Enforcers. Tebrianne has forbidden it to protect women like you. Playing with them will bring trouble. You've caused enough already. Stay in here and avoid it. Or else."

Her eyes rolled repeatedly in the face of the hypocrisy spouted by Ben. She wasn't behaving in a fashion befitting a Starfleet officer? She was more than certain the Starfleet code of conduct did not allow for the abuse of a fellow crewmember. It was obvious he would not be reasoned with, not when he was undoubtedly without that quality himself. Xayella knew what she had to do, and it was to remain silent while she bided her time. "Leave," was all she said, then turned away and returned to her seat.

Benedict glared at her for a moment and then nodded. He was still angry. The woman was a manipulative bitch who would stop at nothing, stoop the lowest and still try to shrug off any responsibility. The enforcers were the enemy, that was true, but she was behaving just like them. She was behaving like Catherine Page...and the similarities just reinforced his anger.

"Don't push me any further," he warned. With that said he walked out. As the door hissed closed behind him, he leaned against the corridor wall and swore. She was a loose canon, playing games that would result in deaths. There were already casualties. What happened to Starfleet morals? Standing upon Federation principles? Tagliesh had shown that they weren't that far away from being just as bad as the Evil Empire. She was using the same tactics they did, yet she failed to understand the implications of that. Her disregard for the chain of command, or even the concept of working within a team as a senior officer.... Instead she'd chosen to take the lesser path.

She'd said it hadn't been her plan. It was just like the Away team on JJ324c. Farrell? More than likely. Benedict had asked him to find a way for an Away Team to get to the station. Would that too involve them becoming the enemy?

He walked away from Xayella Tagliesh's quarters feeling more sad than angry. There'd been no point to the whole thing. The Enforcer wasn't even important. He'd just been played and killed as a ploy to affect their morale. It was just like rattling the cage of a tiger. They were playing with people who knew the real meaning of reprisal. They'd wanted the enemy complacent, lax and at ease; not keyed up and trigger happy! Not alert and distrustful! Not aware and watchful! Damn the woman!

While Ben engaged in a mental tirade, Xayella sat at her desk, idly brushing her fingers against her already swelling cheek and staring blindly at the door through which Ben had departed. The entire altercation still escaped full comprehension - he was lecturing her on the importance of adhering to Starfleet's code of conduct, in the same instant as his fingers were latching onto her throat.

"Hypocrite," she muttered, then jabbed her terminal with a finger to activate it. "Computer, begin visual recording, and note time elapsed between Lt. Commander T'Kal's departure and the initiation of this recording."

The computer affirmed and Xayella grinned as she craned her neck to expose her throat, which still showed reddened imprints of T'Kal's fingers. Once the DNA samples were taken from her skin, and coupled with the log of his visit, Xayella was certain she could accumulate enough evidence. Just enough to bury you, she mused, and couldn't help smiling.

---

"Mutant Red Tribbles with PMS and Claws and Teeth"
By: CPO Calyca Boothroyd, Engineering Crewchief
Crewman 1st Class Sorg Jurell, Security Officer

Location: Main Engineering, Top of the Warp Core, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21, 13h30

***

Caly had been at the top of the warp core since early that morning. After her talk with Thaine, she'd worked for a while on the subroutines for the spiders she'd chosen to take to the station, and even managed to grab a healthy nap as he'd asked her to. It had been surprisingly nightmare free and refreshed her enough that she felt well rested.

Just five, Casey had said... Well, they may be transporting just five into the reactor core, but she'd have a couple more with her as backups. She believed in backups. And this was a mission she had a feeling was going to be plagued with problems. They knew so little.. And those in charge were underestimating their enemy as far as she was concerned. She'd never leave the Sulu unguarded if she were in charge... And it wouldn't surprise her one bit if the Windsor captain didn't have half dozen of her ships watching them while she supposedly left them on their own...

Seven... She'd picked seven of the spiders to go and had downloaded their memories and personality AI's for when she replaced them... She knew the ones who made it to the reactor core weren't coming back and she was finding she was saddened by that. Machines though they were, they were still her little creations.

She'd had passing, fleeting thoughts of Sorg. They'd served to frustrate her more than anything, and irritate her. Gods she was cranky. And she knew she was. It was another reason why she was here, alone, at the top of the warp core... Where there wasn't anyone around for her to bite their heads off.

The steady drum of footsteps against the ladder foretold of the blonde head that stuck up a moment later. Sorg Jurell pulled himself up the rest of the way and sat with his legs dangling over the side.

Caly stopped what she was doing at the first sound, clearing her PADD and pulling up some maintenance log dealing with the warp core. She looked over at the ladder, irrationally starting to panic a little at who it might be. It wouldn't do to get caught alone by one of the Enforcers. ...Iron, atomic number 26, symbol 'Fe', weight... She blinked and then frowned when she saw who it was, her lips set in a grim line as he spoke.

"Hey...." He gave her a tentative smile, his blue eyes were troubled. "Sorry," he said and looked away from her. "I didn't mean to...it didn't come out the way... I'm sorry, Caly." He turned back to look at her. "Forgive me?"

She didn't look placated and she didn't return his smile. "If you're going to chastise and lecture me every bloody damn time I vent, then you're going to wind up seeing me angry... A lot," she told him. "That's the second time you've done that in less than a week." She held up two fingers to emphasise her point and pushed them in his direction. "And I don't care what bloody rank you were in the militia, but don't you ever pull that shit with me again," she huffed, still clearly upset. "You should bloody well be sorry. Dammit, I'm still angry. I don't need someone in my life who's going to try and make me feel bad about myself, Jurell. I'm too old for that shit."

He nodded, though he couldn't help the twitch of a smile. "Next time just hit me. It wouldn't hurt half as bad as you walking away from me. I'm sorry, Cal. Really." He looked into her eyes. "You're very cute when you're pissed."

Caly blinked. "Oh, don't you even try and placate me with that being cute shit," she pointed a slender finger in his direction. "I'm not ready to be placated yet," she added with a small huff and snapping green eyes. "Are you patronizing me?" she suddenly asked. "And I'm not about to hit you. Especially not when you put me in my place with my bloody rank! That's a military offense."

He laughed at that. Her eyes were flashing but he knew the tone in her voice had changed. "I'm not patronizing you, Calyca Boothroyd. It's just an observation. You are cute when you're angry and I would never press charges if you hit me...and I'm still sorry. I promise to try not to do that again...really." He grinned at her, all boyish and charming. "I missed breakfast," he added. "Can I buy you lunch?"

Caly gave him a look when he laughed. "I walked away from you before I could say something really mean," she told him, backtracking a little and ignoring his offer for now. "And I still might, so just be warned. 'Cause I'm still irritated, and hurt... And don't do that!" She flicked her fingers in the direction of his face. "Don't you dare give me that...that puppy eyes thing. Or I swear to...to your Prophets that I'll figure out an OFF switch for you," she threatened.

She'd missed breakfast too and her stomach growled at the offer. "I'm not going to the Mess Hall," she added as a grumbled afterthought.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Cal," he said more seriously. "To be honest, I was kinda shaken when you said what you did...I didn't want you to think that way. I know...you were venting - but, girl, if anything happened to you...." He just looked at her then. "I have to leave it up to the others to look after you. I hate that. I'd rather be with you." He reached out a hand and brushed the back of his fingers against her thigh. "I don't want to lose you, Caly."

Caly frowned at his words. She didn't pull back from his touch, but the thought had fleetingly occurred to her. "The others have their own jobs to do, Jurell. I don't need a babysitter or a keeper. And I don't need to be "looked after" either. I'm a big, independent girl who's been taking care of herself for a lot of years now," she told him. "I can appreciate your concern, and even understand it," she admitted. "But this is going to keep happening and I'm not always going to be as amicable as I am now... Hell, I've been positively timid," she said in disgust and then drew in a calming breath.

"I'm frightened, Jurell. For the first time in my life," she admitted. "I don't trust your Lt. Casey or his plans any further than I can throw the Sulu."

He nodded. "I know," he said softly. "There's the rub...neither do I." He looked back at her. "I have a very bad feeling about this whole thing. Like there's something missing we haven't seen yet. I feel like someone is just waiting for us to try this and it's all been covered. I felt like this once before...and it scares the shit out of me. I'll be going to the Windsor and realistically, we shouldn't even try to rescue Salinger. He may even be dead. But it's one man's life against the ship. I hate to think of leaving a man behind - but Prophets, Cal - the Windsor is a Sovy Class ship. She can tear this little Intrepid into chunks small enough to blow away in the wind." He shrugged. "We'll be sitting targets. You'll be off to a Station the size of DS9 and if you run into trouble, there's nothing we can do. It's just so easy to lose everything."

He was echoing her own concerns, and she was glad at least, that he did realize they were valid. "I know... I know," she agreed. "The Windsor captain would be stupid to leave us on our own... At the very least she should have one or more of her ships guarding us... Or a probe... Or long range sensors... Something.... But to just... Leave us here with the Enforcers the only thing between us and freedom... That's the height of stupidity," she pointed out. "And despite what Casey says about the supposed impossibility of us actually escaping, she should at least expect us to do something to stop the armada and take out the gate... Even if it meant sacrificing ourselves to do it...." She rubbed that spot between her eyes and let out a soft huff of breath.

"The Windsor mission is suicide..." she admitted and blinked back sudden tears. "So's the station one." She drew in another steadying breath. ...Latin cuprum, from the island of Cyprus.. It is believed that copper has been mined for 5,000 years... Copper? Oh gods... She skipped nickel.... "See... It's the Windsor's guns down our throats that are the only thing really keeping us in line.... Salinger is second to that blaring fact... Take that away..." Gods, was the Windsor captain that complacent and full of trust in her Enforcers? She looked at Jurell then, that haunted look throbbing strongly in the depths of her eyes.

He reached out then and his hand clasped hers. He smiled and nodded. "Have faith," he said softly. "We'll both do what needs to be done. We haven't much time, and I don't want to spend a second of it with you being upset with me. There's so much I wanted to say...but it doesn't matter now. Not until it's over. One way or the other."

Caly sighed and gave him another look. "I am still upset," she admitted, but her voice had lost most of its righteously indignant tone. She let out her breath in a soft huff and her fingers twined with his. "As stupid as it is... I do still have faith... Somewhere deep inside," she told him.

"Then we'll win," he said with a smile. "If the Prophets are with us, who can stand against us?" he quoted the Bajoran Sijani text. "Now...I heard your stomach growling at you - you're as hungry as I am...and we need energy. So. Lunch?"

She gave him a sour look and wrinkled her nose, briefly exposing those seldom seen freckles. "I hate the Mess Hall," she admitted in a light grumbling tone, which was sort of a non-committal answer. "I'm still trying to coerce the Prophets into giving me your OFF switch," she told him and rubbed her brow again to ease the headache she had. "I suppose I better eat before I get really mean and bite your head off or something." She eased closer to him and the ladder.

"Naaa that would be like being savaged by a tribble." He grinned. "I know how you get when you don't get your food intake. Hyperactivity and low calorie count equals bad news. See, you have a headache already." He leaned in and kissed her. Just a light touch, but he needed it for some obscure reason, and judging by the soft huff of breath when their lips touched, so did she.

"Savaged by a mutant red-headed tribble with PMS and the claws and teeth to back it up," she pointed out. "Grrr," she showed him her teeth. "Feed me then, so I can get rid of this damn headache."

He laughed, relieved and he lightly tapped her under the chin with one crooked finger. "Your wish is my command, oh lovely red headed mutant Tribble." He spun onto the ladder and dropped, both feet and hands on the outside of the rails so he slid fast straight to the bottom, where he stepped away easily. He grinned up at her.

"With PMS and claws and teeth," she reminded him as she peered down the ladder. Then her head disappeared and she slipped over the edge to climb nimbly down rather than sliding. "And stop looking at my ass." She gave him a look as she neared the bottom.

"But it's such a great ass." He chuckled, being caught doing exactly that.

"Yeah well, quit it... You're going to give me a complex," she told him as she hopped down the last few rungs and twapped him on the stomach with the back of her fingers. "Besides, that's such a...a guy thing to do." She straightened her training uniform and looked up at him. "Look... I'm sorry if what I said shook you," she apologized. "I didn't mean for it to. But I don't want to have to watch what I say around you, Jurell..."

"Point taken. Consider my big mouth closed. You're right, if you can't be honest about how you feel around me I'm not much good to you am I?" He smiled sadly. "Well it's done and done...no more. I'm sorry - I should have just put my arms around you and told you everything would work out.. I was stupid. If we weren't standing in the middle of Main Engineering I'd do just that." He winked at her. Leaning a little closer he said, "And I'm a guy...I tend to do guy things every once in a while...like admiring my girl's feminine attributes."

Caly rolled her eyes and snorted softly. "I'm so not commenting on that," she huffed out and looked at him for several moments, not moving. "And you're forgiven..." She chewed on her bottom lip for several heartbeats while she decided if she should drop it or not. In the end, she decided on 'not'.

He grinned, totally wanting to throw his arms around her but very conscious of their surroundings, and he sensed there was more so he just clasped his hands behind him and met her eyes.

"No, you shouldn't have put your arms around me and told me everything would be alright," she told him, her eyes and tone serious as she gazed up at him. "Not if that wasn't how you felt. And I don't want you to close your mouth... You need to be just as honest as I do. Just as able to say what you feel and to stand up for what you believe. Even if we disagree. Just... It didn't hurt that you disagreed... Or even that you got angry... What hurt was you felt the need to put me in my place like I didn't know where it was..." she told him.

His expression had grown serious, and his eyes were gazing intently at her face as he listened. He nodded as she spoke and finally when she stopped he said, "Okay, I didn't mean to do that...but I did. It won't happen again. I know you know your duty, and your place; probably better than I do. I respect you, and what I said to you didn't convey that at all. It won't happen again."

Caly reached up and pressed her fingers to his lips. "I know," she answered simply. "I know," she repeated softly. "You can stop apologizing." She actually smiled a little at him. "Now you can start placating me," she teased.

Main Engineering be damned, he leaned in and kissed her fully, drawing her into his arms. They were behind the pulsing warp core anyway, and he didn't really care that an engineer grinned and turned away politely.

Caly missed the part where placating meant kissing. She thought it meant coaxing her out of her bad mood, and she wasn't sure kissing counted for that..... She was taken off guard, gasping softly and squeaking out a quiet huff as his lips found hers and she found herself pulled into his embrace. Her fingers dug into the front of his uniform and she kissed him back for several heady heartbeats before pulling her lips from his.

"Damn you, Jurell... We could get caught..." She looked up at him, but there was no real heat in her words. There was genuine worry and fear though. "I don't want to draw their attention..." She hadn't let go of him yet. Hadn't made her fingers open up enough to release his uniform.

"To hell with them," he whispered, gazing into the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. "They can get their own girl." He kissed her again, this time almost lifting her from the deck.

The protest that was on the tip of her tongue went unuttered as his lips descended upon hers, blotting out all fear of enforcers and painsticks as she gave into the kiss and sagged against him. Her arms snaked their way up to wind around his neck as the kiss continued on until he stole her breath and had her dragging her lips from his just enough to breathe in several ragged gulps of air.

"Now that's placating." He grinned, as he hugged her. "We'd better be careful," he warned softly. "We might over-heat the warp core."

"Ha, ha, ha. You're a very funny man," she quipped back and stared into his eyes. "I thought you were going to feed me," she reminded him, still a bit breathlessly, and only then did her arms begin to loosen their hold around his neck and her feet rest fully on the deck. She couldn't deny that she did like kissing him.

"What...my love isn't enough for you?" he asked with a grin.

Caly blinked and glared at him just a little. "Not on an empty stomach it's not," she huffed out a soft breath and finally pulled her arms from his neck, releasing him. Her stomach growled again as if to emphasise her point. "Especially when it does that," she muttered.

He laughed and patted her flat tummy. "Let's go feed the beast then." He chuckled, grabbing her hand. "Come on, my gorgeous red Tribble."

"Hah! Mutant Tribble." She entwined her fingers with his and let him lead her out of Engineering. "With PMS and claws and teeth," she nodded. "Grrr...."

"Hmmmm apt description...reminds me of this Klingon I used to know...she was a real sweetheart. You don't know the meaning of PMS," he said as they left Engineering.

Caly quirked a brow at him. "You haven't seen my PMS," she pointed out rationally.

---

"Trois sans Menage"
By: Tebrianne Bancroft
Shirik Lektar
and Benedict T'Kal

Location: VIP Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21, 16h00

***

Tebrianne sat in the center of the bed, the sounds of her guitar drifting away from her as she played. She watched Shirik, sitting in a chair, studying a padd. Though, it wasn't really studying. It was more looking at it while her mind was off on other things. Teb was no stranger to that. They still hadn't figured out what the sleeping arrangements would be. The bed was large enough and they could most likely share it. She was fairly confident there wouldn't be anything untoward happening. She liked the Drokari, thought her attractive, but with everything as it was...there wasn't any real attraction. And, even if there were, she knew that Shirik's mind was lightyears away from that.

They'd be arriving at the gate soon. Then all of the whole bloody mess could be over. And, after that, who knew what would happen.

Teb shifted chords again and tried not to think of all the various messes that had cropped over the last day, the biggest of which was sharing her quarters with Shirik. It was an illusion, as so many things were: her loyalty, her command of this ship, and whatever might or might not be happening with Ben. Everything was upside down.

Physically, Shirik looked better. She was clean and dressed in her uniform, having just come off duty. Her chopped off hair had been cut to straighten it so it looked neat.

But in other ways, she was still a mess. She was subdued, her eyes still lacking their usual fire. She hadn't said a word other than a brief greeting since she arrived, and stared sightlessly at the PADD in her hands, its screen empty. She set it aside on the table beside her and pulled her legs up to her chest onto the chair, curling into a ball as she put her arms around them and rested her chin on her knees.

Sleeping arrangements, attractions, bed partners, none of that was anywhere near her thoughts, and at the moment she couldn't care less. Her gaze shifted to the viewports, giving her eyes something to look at while her mind tried to push away the recurring memories of what had happened and focus on what mattered. The mission. Getting home. Getting out of this place. Some part of her mind knew she needed to pull herself together and be ready to do what needed to be done. But she wasn't quite ready yet, wasn't quite healed up enough yet. She just needed some time, and it was running out.

Tebrianne finally set her guitar aside and unfolded herself from where she was. She climbed off her bed, and ordered a glass of water from the replicator. "Is there anything I can get for you, Shirik?"

Tebrianne's voice drew her gaze from the stars to the replicator. She shook her head. "No... thank you." She desperately wanted some klaas, but she knew Ben was coming, and she refused to drink it around him any more.

Tebrianne returned to the bed and sat on the edge. As she sipped at the water, she went over chords and rhythms in her head, something other than the impending arrival of Benedict T'Kal. " 'ow's Saavar doing?" she finally asked.

"He'll be all right, in time," she said. Time was what they all needed. "I think he's in better shape than I am..."

"Good," Tebrianne said softly. " 'adek is still detained. You should be safe from him, both of you. The rest of the Enforcers are stepping more lightly now. We'll see how long it lasts."

"Where is my kemla?" she asked quietly.

Tebrianne thought for a moment, then remembered the blade Hadek had been carrying. "If it's the one 'adek was carrying," she said, "it'd be with the weapons he was carrying when he was put in the brig."

Shirik nodded. As long as no one else was carrying it around as a prize. "I'd like it back, eventually...." she murmured. She missed the solid feel of it in her hand. Lately nothing seemed real or solid to her, it made her cling to whatever was near. The day before, that had been Saavar. At the moment, she was clinging to herself.

"I'll make certain you get it back," Tebrianne said. "As soon as I can take care of it without it looking too suspicious, I will."

She nodded and fell silent once more, her gaze wandering back to the viewports. She would have preferred the room be dark, but she wasn't going to ask for the lights to be lowered. It wasn't her room, after all. But then, even the dark didn't feel safe to her any more. Nothing, nowhere, felt safe to her now.

The chime sounded and at Tebrianne's "Come," Benedict T'Kal stepped inside. He stopped as he entered, feeling the dual presence, and his eyes took in Teb on the bed first of all, strumming her guitar and then Shirik. His eyes narrowed as he saw Shirik's very short hair. Her presence in Tebrianne's quarters surprised him. "What's going on?" he asked. He'd expected only Tebrianne and he'd come to ask for some kind of excuse to spend Gamma shift on the Bridge. He didn't relish spending it alone with Tebrianne in her quarters. He knew the danger in that all too well. He was tired and slightly irritable and it showed in his voice.

Shirik heard his voice but didn't look over at him. Instead she hid her face, resting her forehead against her arms and completing the ball she was in. He didn't know. How could he not know? She closed her eyes.

Tebrianne looked up at Ben and set her guitar aside. "There was an incident last night," she said. She quickly explained what had happened with Hadek, as much as she knew. "The pretense is that Shirik is my bed slave. The reality is it's a safe place for 'er to be. Even with 'adek in the brig, I don't trust him. Lieutenant Saavar has recovered, and I've been trying to keep him monitored through the ship's computer when I can. There's so much..." She looked up at him, her eyes finding his. A deep sadness showed in her eyes, and a weariness. "I just want to get 'ome. I don't know if I can take any more of this." Tears brimmed in her eyes. "I told Lyrr I'd protect them...that I'd do my best to keep them safe...and I can't. Shirik. Saavar. Shyla. Xayella. I can't take it any longer. I don't want to see any more of the crew 'urt. Lyrr's right. It is my fault."

Benedict's irritableness melted in the face of her tears and the sadness that he felt through their bond. This close to her he could feel its full effect and he stepped to her and touched her cheek. He looked into her eyes for a moment and shook his head. "How could all of this be your fault? Think about it for a minute, Teb...if you hadn't been on the Windsor, who do you think would be subduing the crew right now? You're stopping the brutality as best you can, it won't be long until we can take care of this and get home. It's not your fault."

"I should be doing more," Teb said. "Four in one night. And...and if Saavar 'adn't been a Vulcan, 'e would have died. It's all so much." She reached out and ran her hand over the outside of his thigh. "I know it's not my fault, and it'd be worse without me. But...sometimes it's 'ard to make yourself believe that. I'll just keep doing the best I can. I'm scared they'll start suspecting though."

"You can't do anymore without blowing the whole thing," he said seriously as he looked around at Shirik, and from this angle he saw that her hair wasn't up as he'd automatically assumed. It had been severed. He left Tebrianne and went over to her, squatting down beside her he laid a hand on her arm. "You okay?" he asked gently. His eyes filled with worry. He felt a cold anger that she'd been tortured with the collar and Saavar had been so severely beaten.

Shirik had been listening to the conversation, hearing Tebrianne describe it brought it all back vividly to her memory once more. She jumped slightly at the touch to her arm, and when she looked up she had tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. "No," she said quietly.

Benedict was a passionate man, born of Bajoran mother and Human father, he had the mix of racial traits; the Human emotions and Bajoran spiritualism and a deep abiding care for his friends and family. Shirik was a part of that, and the comfort that she had given him the previous evening in the Arboretum had done much to lessen the estrangement between them over the last months. His violet eyes were compassionate as he drew her into an embrace. He was troubled that both women were crying; Tebrianne because she felt alone and needed his comfort, and Shirik, who was traumatised by the brutality of their situation.

Shirik didn't hesitate to accept the comfort of his arms, holding tightly to him as she buried her face in his shoulder.

He held her tightly, allowing her to take comfort from his embrace as he rubbed her back. He was barely holding himself together, and felt guilty for not knowing Shirik and Saavar's plight. He had been seeing to plans, walking the decks and showing a command presence to bolster crew morale with kind words and encouragement. He'd been surprised at the reaction of many, who turned from his presence with barely hidden contempt. The word had reached them that his relationship with Lyrr was over and that he'd jumped into bed with the enemy. He couldn't even fight the news, it was necessary as he knew that Mess Hall gossip was just as important as appearances that he was Tebrianne's new love.

Now with Shirik in his arms and crying it seemed that everything he touched felt pain. Shirik, Tayla, Tebrianne; it was tearing him up inside and he hated himself for his weakness.

"He's locked away now - he won't be getting out," he whispered. "Tebrianne will make sure you're safe, Shiri. Don't worry. We'll get through this." He drew away slightly so that she could see his face. "We will get home," he said with conviction.

She nodded, looking into his eyes. "I know," she said quietly. "I'll do what has to be done, no matter what." Her eyes were dull, the fire of her spirit nowhere in evidence, but her words held conviction nevertheless. "I won't let you down."

"I know," he gave her a smile. He turned to look at Tebrianne. "I want this collar off her." His tone was one she recognized; he didn't expect an argument.

"No... Ben." She reached for his face to turn him to face her once more. "She's already done enough, jeopardized her position because of me. It would look even more suspicious if she removed my collar. I'm a suspected rebel, a slave..." she trailed off.

Ben's eyes had not wavered, and he was still adamant. Tebrianne sighed. "Of course," she murmured. How could she refuse him anything? Even though he seemed to be speaking to her as if she were a stranger, as if she were truly a member of the Windsor's crew. She pulled a small device from her belt, and tapped in a sequence of keys. A moment later, the catch on the collar clicked and loosened. "It's done."

Benedict took the collar off Shirik with a feeling of disgust at the cold metal of it. "We can examine this one and that remote you have - find a way to block the signals. Better that than the plan Kaven came up with." He gave Tebrianne a thankful smile and stood, his hand taking Shirik's. "I'd like to take Sam's place as Bridge Commander tonight," he told Tebrianne. "Tayla is worn out and I need Sam to meet with the TAC Team to go over communications issues and some final arrangements. I made arrangements for the transport to the Gate Station this morning." He didn't want to mention Zareb and the Nightingale that had been part of the arrangement with the paranoid Zareb. He didn't trust Tebrianne with the knowledge of it until everything else had come together.

"Fine," Teb said with resignation. "Whatever you need to do, Ben. They'll know now. That Shirik's collar's been removed. There's a signal, and it'll be reported automatically. But, I can just say that it was getting in the way 'ere. They might believe me. Maybe not. The crew on the Sulu doesn't trust me, despite everything I've been trying to do. And, with everything that I 'ave been doing, the crew of the Windsor will suspect me more strongly. Maybe they won't 'ave a chance to do anything before we get to the Gate, and I'm caught." She gave a bitter laugh. "If I'd been more firm, maybe it would have worked out. Maybe they wouldn't have...had done the things they did. Shyla would be alive. Saavar wouldn't have been beaten. Shirik wouldn't have been tortured. Xayella wouldn't have been raped. If I'd been more firm, more commanding, maybe no one would 'ave been 'urt. Now it's all going to come undone. Tayla was right about me."

Shirik looked over at Tebrianne, her eyes widening in fear. "They'll know?" Her hand tightened in Ben's. "No... no..." The fact that Xayella had been raped hit her as well, only adding to her fear.

Benedict reacted as if he'd been slapped. "They'll know? Why didn't you say that before? You didn't say anything about that! Now is a fine time to fill in the details, Teb. What the hell are you talking about with Xayella?"

Shirik was already tuning out the conversation, her mind at work on the problem of the collar and the alarm. The explanation Teb suggested could work, and the collar could be put back on later, she thought. That meant if any Enforcers showed up, she'd have a part to play. She was ready if that happened. She hoped Ben was.

Her mind went back to the conversation once more at the mention of Xayella.

"Because you were adamant about it," Tebrianne answered. "Because you didn't look like you would take no for an answer. And, because you used that tone of voice. The other night, I was called to Sickbay because Lt. Tagliesh 'ad been assaulted and raped. It's been dealt with."

"You could have said something about that - I'm not bloody stupid," he snapped, clenching his fist. "Now we have to do something with the collar!" He hefted it. "We'll have to put it back on you in about an hour," he said to Shirik. "Make out like she was offered a brief time without it on as a reward." He didn't need to say why - it would be services rendered. Of course it went back on because Teb had lied. His mind shifted to the last thing Tebrianne had said: Xayella.

Benedict didn't like Xayella, but the thought of her being raped was just one more crime and one more slab of guilt added to his list. She was his responsibility. He was Security Chief and he knew that Salinger, if he ever got back to the ship, would blame him squarely for allowing it to happen. "How did it happen?" he asked dully.

Tebrianne explained what had happened with Xayella. It hadn't been pretty, and just added to everything. If Tebrianne had to pick a worst night of her life, that would have been the one. And, when she'd finally collapsed alone in her quarters, she'd been physically ill. She left that part out, however. Finally, she looked at Shirik. "And, it's not going back on." She looked at Ben, a defiant look in her eyes. "I 'ate the things, and if she's supposed to be keeping me company in bed 'ere, it's under my conditions. If anyone asks, I tell them that. If she steps out of line, it goes back on. But, as long as she's behaving, there's no need. If they suspect me, they do. And, I'll deal with it. I'm a big girl now; I've been taking care of myself for the last five years...I can do this." She turned away from them, unable to look in Ben's eyes any longer and see the disgust there. It was bad enough she could feel it, directed at her.

Benedict tossed the damned collar aside and went to Tebrianne. "Pass an order that no female crew are allowed to be unaccompanied; this is just like the bloody Cardassian Occupation. It'll keep happening because these people are just plain evil." He gripped her shoulder and turned her around. "It's not you," he said more softly. He could feel her emotions as well as she could feel his. "I hate this damned situation. I don't hate you. I just can't...you know why," it sounded like a plea.

Shirik sighed and dropped her chin onto her arms once more as she watched them. It did feel better not to be wearing the collar, but it had been a small thing to her, and if she had to put it back on later, she didn't care. She focused on the two of them, listening to their conversation, watching how they interacted.

Tebrianne finally met his eyes. "Of course not," she said, eyes flashing toward Shirik and then back to him. "Ben, this has to end soon. It has to. I can't keep going. I killed two of them, watched the life bleed away just like the blood seeping from the wound where my knife went in. When I close my eyes, I see theirs. They were bad, and evil and rotten...but I...I took their lives."

He nodded, understanding what she felt, but not being able to sympathise. He had killed so many that taking life wasn't bothersome any more. "Just hold it together until we get to the Gate - that's all." He touched her cheek, without conscious volition it was simply a reaction to her distress, and once more that contact was old and familiar yet new enough to spark his pulse again. He wanted to stay away from her, to banish her; to run away with her and never look back. Prophets there was so much conflict. He loved them both.

Before either could run or turn away, Tebrianne slipped her arms around him and held herself to him. "I'm trying," she said. "It feels like every time I turn around, there's another obstacle. Maybe it'll just be quiet before we get to the gate now. Maybe we'll just be able to slip through and there won't be much fuss." She sighed. "I don't know if I'll be able to take any more attacks. I'll make the announcement. It's out of control, but it will stop."

Benedict was very conscious of Shirik watching them. He embraced Tebrianne for a moment and then drew away. "I can't stay, I have to get to the Bridge. It would be best...under the circumstances." He looked between Tebrianne and Shirik. "Why don't you guys talk - there's so much that's happened in the Alpha Quadrant...you missed the war for a start."

"You look as if you could use some sleep to me," Shirik observed evenly from her chair. "I know I could."

"No," Tebrianne said. "Let him go do whatever he needs to do. He doesn't want to stay in the same room with me, not any longer than he has to...and even then, he'd prefer not to. I don't want to force any additional torment on him than my being alive has already done." She turned away from him and picked up her guitar.

Benedict stood there for a long moment staring at her back. Her words had been the stark truth yet still they hurt. What could he do? Deny it? He had the urge to do just that; to say no - it's not true, I do want to be with you...and that was so twisted. He felt that when he was with Tebrianne she could influence him to do anything she wanted, yet it was the same when he was with Lyrr. He was slowly being torn in two. It had to end.

"I need to allow Sam to do what he needs to do," he finally said. "It has very little to do with spending the night with either of you. It would be a good idea for the two of you to become acquainted. You might find you have a few things in common." He nodded to Shirik and turned on his heel. A moment later he was gone, leaving them in a stark silence.

Shirik nodded slowly in return and watched Ben leave. She didn't believe his words, and she knew what he really was doing was running away. But it hardly mattered, in his place perhaps she would do the same. She knew of one thing in particular she and Teb had in common, and it wasn't anything she cared to talk about at the moment. She shrugged and turned her gaze to Tebrianne. "Where would you prefer I sleep?" she asked. "I really am tired..."

"Take the bed if you'd like," Tebrianne said. "I doubt I'll sleep tonight either. I may roam for a bit, just wander the ship. I'll have it set so you can enter and exit if you'd like, but it's locked to all others. And if anyone other than you or me enters, it'll alert me. I don't want you to feel trapped, but if I stay in here...I'm going to feel that way. I'll probably be back later, and I'll just take a chair. But, the bed's yours."

Shirik's expression was dismayed. Despite Tebrianne's reassurances, she did not want to be alone. "Very well," she said quietly, trying to quell her rising fear. She knew she'd get little if any sleep left alone in the room.

Tebrianne slid off the bed and moved to one of the chairs. "I'll be here for awhile," she said. "Don't really feel like moving all that much yet." She indicated her guitar. "If I play at all, will it bother you?"

Shirik nodded and uncurled herself from the ball she'd been in. "No, you can play if you like," she said as she moved to the bed. She kicked off her boots but remained fully dressed as she slipped into the bed and curled up once more into a defensive ball, hugging her pillow to her tightly.

Tebrianne watched Shirik on the bed for several moments before finally turning away and inward. It would be a good idea for the two of you to become acquainted, Ben had told her. Tebrianne couldn't help wondering if the unfinished ending of that sentence was, because when I turn my back on you, Tebrianne, I want you to have at least one person as a friend. She closed her eyes. She'd hardly seen him for most of the day. She'd barely seen him since their time in her room the previous day. He was avoiding her now, blaming her. You've done enough for me. Even without him in the room, she could feel his building resentment. What frightened and hurt was that she felt the resentment and anger more strongly from him than she felt the love she knew was still here.

Now it was just the anger directed at her, the frustration that had highlighted his words to her. What had she done yesterday that had changed him so strongly? They were together, things got out of hand. He blamed her. He forced all responsibility for everything that had happen on her. He blamed her for it all. For dying, for coming back, and for the love he felt for her that had not died. He blamed both of their weaknesses in each other's presence on her. It was all her fault. She'd only touched him, and it all fell to pieces. He'd touched her back. But it was her fault...because...because it could never be his fault. It takes two, Benedict, she thought. Then, softly aloud, "Bastard."

Shirik moved her head slightly to look over at Tebrianne. "What?" she asked quietly.

"Just talking to myself," Tebrianne said. "Probably just feeling sorry for myself. His comment, before leaving...the one about us getting to know each other. I can't 'elp thinking that he said that...because he doesn't want me to be completely friendless. He's my only friend 'ere...but things are difficult. We still love each other very much, and...just being near each other... I'm a temptation for 'im. And, I'm a threat to his relationship because he can't control 'imself as easily with me. So, it feels like he's putting distance between us...so 'e can turn 'is back on me. Dump me all over again, even though we're not together."

She nodded. "He's having a rough time of it," she said quietly. "I know he doesn't want to 'dump' you, but I also know how important Lyrr Tayla is to him. He's stuck in the middle."

"You care about him, don't you," Tebrianne asked. "And, he cares about you."

"I... yes. Probably more than I should," she said, then shrugged. "He's my friend."

" 'e used to be my friend," Tebrianne said. "I'm not so sure now. He's scared of me, and because of that...'e avoids me. Before, Ben was never uncomfortable around me. Now, he can't wait to get out of the room."

"He's not himself lately," she agreed quietly. "But then, we're all under a lot of stress." She frowned slightly to herself. She'd never seen Ben as the kind of person to run away from his problems before. But then, he had avoided her for two months, as well.

"It's not stress," Tebrianne said. "Not this. 'e's got Lyrr now, and he doesn't want me jeopardizing that. 'e just wants me out of his life so 'e doesn't 'ave to worry about his conflicted heart. 'e doesn't want the complications I bring into his life, so 'e wants me out of 'is life."

Shirik snorted, remembering her last conversation with Ben. How he chastised her for wanting to run away and being unable to be only his friend. Wasn't he doing the same thing now himself? "Maybe things will get better once we're home," she said. But she tended to doubt it.

"I don't know," Tebrianne said. "When we were together, we were very passionate. It was very emotional and very strong, and...and when I'm in a room with him, I still feel it. I know 'e does too. We're trying to make T'Briane think that 'e's with me, so she doesn't pull him off the ship and into 'er bed. It was stupid and foolish, and...and almost backfired yesterday. We'd planned on just taking our clothes off and looking like something 'ad 'appened. But...standing there without clothes...it got a little intense. We didn't actually end up 'aving sex, but it was close. I was so worked up, I could barely think straight. I knew I couldn't contact 'er like that...I wasn't supposed to be worked up, and she'd know. I started to...to take care of it myself, and 'e helped. Since that, Ben's been trying to treat me like I don't even exist any longer."

Shirik blinked. And blinked again, her face darkening. "I see...." No wonder Ben was acting so strangely, she thought. She'd been naked alone with Ben on several occasions and nothing had even come close to happening with them. It only drove home the point that she was nowhere in the picture and never would be. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm sorry," Tebrianne said. "Just blathering. I don't know if they'll get better when we get 'ome. Every minute he stays with me, it gets worse. Every time Ben and I are alone, it's a risk to 'is relationship with Commander Lyrr. And, 'e blames me for it."

"You and he were not alone this time," she pointed out.

"I think I make him doubt what he feels for 'er," Tebrianne said. "Maybe he wasn't afraid I'd try to pull 'im into bed for a tumble, but being 'ere with me would make him face what 'e feels for me. It's easier to close 'is eyes and pretend I don't exist any longer."

"It is," she agreed thoughtfully.

"I'm going to have to find a new ship, a new place to start over," Tebrianne said. "If I can...if Starfleet will let me. I may just reform the band."

"You and me both," she muttered. "Although, Ben asked me to stay..."

"You're lucky," Teb said. "At first, I believe he would 'ave asked me to stay, to watch him be happy with Lyrr, to watch him marry 'er, 'ave kids, and all that rubbish. I wouldn't be surprised if he 'adn't thought about sending me an invitation to their wedding. If I'm really lucky, perhaps 'e'll even want me to sing for his wedding. Now, I believe his greatest 'appiness would be if I'd just go away and never show up in his life again. Now, he's probably wishing I'd never survived."

"I know that's not true," she said. "He still loves you, every bit as much as before." She closed her eyes and for a moment envied Tebrianne that fact. At least she had known Ben's love once, and still had it in his heart. "But he can't marry two women."

"He loves me, and he resents me," Teb said. "I can feel it tearing him apart. He blames what happened yesterday on me. He knows if we're together again, it may happen again. If I stay around him, it'll happen again. I still love him with all my heart. Without the hope of coming back to him, I may have given up five years ago. But, I had that 'ope...and I guess I'm still stupid enough to think that maybe something can work out. But, inside I know it's time for me to find somewhere to start over...or try to at any rate."

"He shouldn't blame you," she said. "It sounds like he helped." She sighed and nodded.

Then she opened her eyes and decided to give up sleep for the time being. She slipped from the bed and looked around for the collar Ben had dropped. Retrieving it, she sat on the edge of the bed, turning it over in her fingers. "Do you have a tricorder?" she asked.

Tebrianne set her guitar aside and moved to a shelf where a small collection of devices had been stored. She pulled a tricorder out of the collection, then brought it back over to Shirik. "That's what I thought too," she said. "But, I think admitting any sort of responsibility to what 'appened would force 'im to accept things 'e's unwilling to accept."

She frowned as she took the tricorder. "Well, you know, we all have to accept things we don't want to at times, don't we? That's life." She worked on the tricorder for a bit, placing it in standalone mode, triple-encrypting its readings and setting them for auto-erase by voice command before finally beginning to take scans of the collar. The thing was almost delicate, very light in her hand. It was strange to imagine it being able to cause so much pain.

"Sometimes it's easier to run from your problems than to face them," Tebrianne said. She shrugged. "Never expected that of 'im. Ben's afraid 'is love for me will ruin what he 'as with Lyrr. I don't think she'd be very forgiving if she knew."

"No, from what I've seen of her, she wouldn't," she mused, tweaking the settings on the tricorder and taking more readings. "But Ben's always struck me as an honest man, so I imagine in time he'll tell her."

"If he tells her the whole truth, I hope she doesn't kill him too much." She moved back to the chair and sat again. "I think that's part of what has him upset too. He was weak with me, and went too far. And, now he'll need to tell her."

"Well, that's not your fault, either. He just needs time to deal with it all... Like all of us do." She frowned at her readings. "I don't think this will help any... I know Dr. Sefton got a scan from Caly's collar, too... But I can't get any frequency indications from it, it would have to be active to get one. However... I might be able to get the frequency of the unlocking mechanism... Where is it?"

Tebrianne pulled out the remote again. She pointed it at the collar, and keyed it to unlock. She then raised an eyebrow at Shirik. "Did you get it?"

"Yes," she smiled. She looked up at Tebrianne. "You must know some of how these things work. I'm assuming this frequencey would only work for this collar, or maybe just a small number of them? The signal could be emitted by a tricorder as easily as one of those remotes..."

"I don't see any reason why it couldn't," Tebrianne answered. "Each collar has a unique frequency; that's what I 'ave to key in. In most cases, you can just send a command to the collar to identify itself. The remote can just grab that." She handed the remote to Shirik. "I learned how to work it, but I don't 'ave the technical skill to figure out 'ow it works."

"All right, then. You show me how to work it, and I'll figure out how it works." She smiled. It helped having something concrete to focus her mind on. "Would it set off any alarms if I partially disassemble it?"

"It shouldn't," Teb answered. "They're really only concerned with the people in the collars, not the ones with the remotes. You can take it apart. Just make sure it still works when you put it back together." She quickly demonstrated how the remote worked, showing the locking and unlocking sequences, and how to sync the remote with the collar. "Once you use it, it gets fairly simple."

"I will," she said. She set about tinkering with the remote, taking scans of it, and figuring out its workings. "I was hoping to get to talk to Ben about the mission tonight..." she mused. "If we're supposed to go tomorrow, there are some details to work out. He's supposed to be disguised."

"As your love slave," Tebrianne said with a grin. "If you need any 'elp picking out an outfit for 'im, I'd be more than 'appy to help."

"You are the expert on this universe," she mused. "We should probably look at some."

Tebrianne thought of Ben in some scant outfit, as Shirik's slave, and what had been amusement quickly dissipated when she realized that there would be no enjoyment in his get-up for her. She sighed as she realized it'd be for either Shirik or Lyrr, not her. She had her own mission to run, one that she might not make it back from. She didn't want to die, but as she thought of Ben she wasn't certain she wanted to live either. "Yeah," she said. "We can pick something out for 'im and replicate it."

Shirik watched her. "It's a mission," she said, her tone indicating she had nothing in mind other than business. "If you prefer, you can simply give me access to the pictures and I can browse for myself..."

"A mission some of us may never come away from," Tebrianne answered. "It'll 'ave to suit his role, yet still be functional enough to allow him to get the job finished. We'll need to wardrobe the entire station team." Tebrianne spun the computer terminal so they both could see it and called up a display of clothing that would suit. Most of them were similar in design to her own. "I believe those will be suitable for it. Once we take back the ship, we can begin replicating." She left it on the display for a possible choice for Ben: a pair of synthetic leather pants, boots, and a harness that would cross over his chest. "That will be good for him. If we put Finn in one of the dusters, he can pass it off to Ben when the team makes its move."

She nodded as she studied the outfits. If it had actually been for her, she'd probably choose a slightly different outfit, but for what they were doing, it would suffice. "That will work," she said.

Teb nodded. "Good," she said. She watched the outfits as they cycled across the screen, thinking about everything that had happened and all the things that could happen. "I know there really isn't much anyone could actually do to control it, and so much can 'appen, but...but make sure everyone makes it back. Don't...don't let 'im try to be too much of an 'ero."

"I was hoping to get to talk to him about the mission while he was here," she frowned. "I can't very well go chase him down to talk to now..." She sighed and her gaze met Tebrianne's. "There's a good chance none of us will come back from this," she said quietly. "But keep in mind... I'm ready to die for him."

"I already did die for 'im," Teb answered. "I'd say I don't want to lose 'im again...but I already 'ave. We'll make it through this; we 'ave to."

Shirik nodded, setting down the collar, and erasing the contents of the tricorder, which she'd memorized. "I can't stay locked in here and do any sort of planning..." She paused in thought for a moment, and looked at Tebrianne once more. "But I could move about the ship freely if I were someone else..." she suggested.

Tebrianne regarded Shirik for a moment. "You're not exactly the type of person who could just disappear in a crowd of humans. Though...it'd be tricky, but if there was a way to change how you looked, so you could just blend in with the rest..."

"Exactly. Dr Sefton is probably due to check on my condition, is she not? With access to the crew roster I could easily make myself into someone else, and she could change my appearance..."

"My computer terminal here would be safe," Tebrianne said. "You should be able to access the crew roster from here. We can contact Dr. Sefton and have her come check on you. Under the circumstances, I think that would be much better than you having to go there...especially since I removed your collar."

Shirik nodded. "Definitely," she agreed.

Tebrianne grinned. "Get to work on that terminal," she said. "I'll see about getting Dr. Sefton here to check on you." And, with that, they got to work to put their plans into motion.

---

"In Plain Sight"
By: Ensign Shirik Lektar, Operations
Lt. Commander Benedict T'Kal, Chief of Security

Location: Observation Deck
Stardate: 57910.21, 20h00

***

Benedict T'Kal stared out at the stars, leaning heavily on the sill of the view port that ran the length of the Observation Lounge. He'd sought a little solitude here and the cold pressing against his brow ridges from the clear surface allowed him to clear his muddled thoughts for a while.

He had been there, motionless for almost half an hour after eating in the Mess Hall alone. He was getting stares now. Accusing stares as his charade with Tebrianne continued. But was it really a charade? He wanted to end this agony but couldn't see a way out. Except the void. Out there. Could he do that now? Just because he couldn't make a decision between two women? No - that was a coward's way. It wouldn't serve anyone and would only hurt both of the women he loved.

He was losing it. He felt like a thin veneer of civility coated a raw violent mess in his mind. He was getting flash-backs now; Tebrianne and the dream images, and the shattered bits of memory that were the invasive things that had been spliced into his memory by a Khatarian memory device. The one they used on prisoners to invest memories of serving long sentences - only it had been used for another nefarious purpose by Catherine Page. Benedict was being assaulted by the old images; being brought back as Tebrianne had been; from the dead.

He could do nothing but ride it out now. He felt...unsafe. Barely contained. Random memories came at him, triggered by sights and sounds he couldn't guess at. He felt like he was spiralling and losing control. Was his sanity slipping? The counselors had said that they couldn't remove all the memories, but they could suppress them. It had worked well for years, only now Tebrianne's return was bringing them back. No one had expected her to come back. Benedict had been totally convinced she was dead.

He kept seeing himself with Tagliesh; gripping her throat and feeling such rage. She had baited him and insulted him and he'd lost control. He wasn't like that. Was he?

From behind him came the quiet sound of a familiar voice, startling given the current location, and where the owner of that voice was supposed to be at the moment. "Hello, Ben."

Shirik's voice permeated his mind and he almost jerked away from the view port as he turned to look at her. His eyes were still vague, and the expression on his face was as much neutral as he could muster. He simply nodded to her, and wondered why she was here.

But the face looking back at him didn't match the voice. Behind him stood a very plain nondescript looking human female. She had short straight brown hair and chocolate brown eyes, and no hint of makeup on her pale skin. She smiled just a bit, and the smile was familiar even if the face wasn't. "Surprise," she said quietly.

He stood staring at her for a long moment, confusion plain in his expression. "What the hell?" he whispered.

She chuckled softly. "It's me, Shirik," she whispered. "I'm incognito. I can't very well do any planning if I'm locked in Tebrianne's room all night..."

"But...how?" he was amazed. She looked...ordinary. "Explain," he said firmly.

"Dr. Sefton's handiwork," she said. "I have to say, I'm rather impressed. She should do a hell of a job making you into a Rennari." She smiled at that. "She came to the room under the pretense of checking me over to make sure I was all right after what's happened."

He frowned. "Turn around." He rotated his finger in a circular motion; she was right, it was impressive in a disappointing kind of way. He looked her up and down. "Does the skin pigmentation go all over?" He was frankly curious now as she turned.

She turned fully to let him look at all sides. She couldn't help but grin at his question but given his mood she thought it best not to tease him with the first answer that came to mind. "Yes, all over," she said as she turned to face him once more. "So will yours."

"What have you done about the locators in the commbadges?" he asked. He pointed at the badge she wore. It would tell the computer that Ensign Lektar stood here - not this non-descript human female.

"Simple," she said. "I just swapped my identity in the crew roster. I'm now Leanne Smythe, and that's who the commbadge says I am."

He smiled then. "Nice to meet you, Leanne. What happened to Ensign Lektar?"

She smiled back, one of the few true smiles to reach her eyes since the incident with Hadek. "I believe she's currently serving her sentence as a sex slave in Captain Tebrianne's room..." she said. "Where she'll likely remain for the duration of our journey."

"Ahhh sex slave...she'd not like that would she? She'd be more used to having sex slaves than being one." It was a dig at the lifestyle she'd lived prior to Starfleet. Benedict hoped that this whole experience taught her something about the value of freedom.

That took all hint of the smile from her face once more. "Sex or no, she didn't like being a slave, no," she agreed quietly. "The collar taught her a valuable lesson indeed."

He nodded. "Good. I hope the lesson won't ever be repeated." He gave her a smile. "Now...what are you supposed to be doing and can I help?"

"I'm supposed to be finalizing plans, and making sure everyone knows their part," she said. "I haven't had the chance to discuss the mission with you since you put me on planning it... What have you been doing?"

"Not a damned thing," he replied a little bitterly. "I met with Farrell. After discussing it with you I decided to impress upon him the plan, he's not one for strongly following orders and I thought coming from you, he'd take liberties. Even so, he wanted to try to take the Windsor." He shook his head.

She raised an eyebrow at his answer, then shrugged. "Actually, I think out of the two of us, he's less likely to take liberties with me than you. He doesn't like you."

"That's mutual," T'Kal answered. "I can't say that he impresses me with his disrespect and his methods. But that's beside the point. If I didn't know better I'd say Farrell and his alternate universe twin were switched at birth and we ended up with the bad one." He smiled at Shirik. "You look so Human...it doesn't suit you."

"He's not all that bad... I'd rather work with him than Casey." She smiled a bit self-consciously. "I don't think so, either. I'll be glad to be myself again."

He nodded, staring into her dark eyes and feeling odd. "I think the plan is coming together. The part to take out the Enforcers is just about finalized. Doctor Sefton is running that. Tebrianne is meeting with the TAC team to go over details of the rescue attempt. They'll need the Enforcer's uniforms and armour for that and a shuttle to get to the Windsor. We have to sort out the composition and details of the Station team. Farrell should be sorting that out. You'll be leading that - although I will in reality but we've got to make sure it works. Crewman Sorg informed me that your engineer friend has a unique solution to the means of crippling the station that doesn't require a team member to plant the devices, so that's covered. We only have to worry about the codes to the Gate itself and the passage codes for the minefield that's surrounding the Gate. So we're almost there it seems."

"Minefield?" She blinked. Nobody had mentioned that part. Now she needed to get two sets of codes. "I'm fairly certain once we're inside I can get the information from their computers, if I can get to a terminal. The part I'm worried about is getting there, actually." She let out a breath. "It's a hell of a lot to coordinate, the three missions, and a million things can go wrong and be disastrous."

"Yes I know. But it's the only way we have any hope of getting home without having an enemy armada breathing down our necks. We can't allow this invasion to happen. If any element fails it will just be bad luck. If Teb can't rescue the captain, then she'll create havoc on the Windsor and help to stop pursuit. If we can't get off the station, we'll still blow it to prevent them using the Gate, and if both fail, then the Sulu will simply attack the gate. A warp core breach should do it. In this mission, Shirik, we're all expendable in order to stop this invasion. Understood?"

She nodded. "That's been understood since I found out about all this," she said. In fact, she almost expected to die before she ever saw home again. "I think we all know that."

He nodded in return and reached out to place a hand on her shoulder. He gave a little squeeze and held her eyes. "I know you'll do what needs to be done. I trust you to do that. We'll be together on the station, Shirik. If anything bad happens, at least we'll end it together. Between you and I...I won't be a prisoner." He gazed into her eyes so that she understood his meaning.

She gazed back into his eyes, and for a moment lost herself in them. She nodded slowly as his meaning sunk in and she answered solemnly, "I understand. Neither will I." It was a promise.

Benedict nodded and his smile was sad. "There's not much time left," he said quietly. "Not much time...and everything is such a mess."

"When we get home, there will be time to fix things," she said. "You know I'll help any way I can if you need it."

"Thanks, Shiri, but it's in the hands of the Prophets now. I'll let them decide."

She nodded but said nothing more on that subject. Instead, she turned back to the mission. "I'm trying to get things finalized... Does anyone know for sure what time roughly we'll arrive at the Gate, and what time things will be set in motion?"

"No, that will by based on the arrival at the Gate system and the departure of Windsor. As soon as we're out from under her watchful eye the signal will be given. The Enforcers need to be taken down simultaneously - if any of them gets a transmission out we're done. Commander Sam has the transmission frequencies and will shut down the entire comm grid on the ship. He'll signal the release of the gas at that point. It'll go from there."

"Then our group will head to the station...and the group to go to the Windsor will be standing by for our signal?" she said. "And we don't know for sure how long we'll be on the station... we are aiming for as short a period as possible, I imagine?"

He nodded. "That's about it," he agreed. "Depending on how the Gate works. We're depending on you to get that information on the codes to use. Tebrianne knows that there are codes but not the specifics. There is a mine field around the Gate and apparently each ship in the fleet is given the IFF codes that will allow passage through the field to the Gate. We'll need to get access to those codes or we won't get anywhere near the Gate."

She nodded. "I'm not sure how long it will take... we could be on the station awhile."

"We might be able to stretch it to a day, but no more than that. If we coincide with the station's nocturnal cycle and arrive late in the day, it might give reason to stay in quarters during the night, an eight hour window where the station is on a night cycle. That should be enough time - but I'd prefer shorter if we can manage it."

She nodded. "That would be best. The fewest personnel on duty, hopefully." She knew it would be a long night of no sleep for her, and decided to try to get some sleep later tonight and into the morning in preparation. As it was, she hadn't slept much in the last three days other than her nap with Saavar, and it was showing in her eyes.

Benedict nodded as he looked into her brown eyes, still a little disturbed by the differences. He could tell that she was tired by her voice, and the heaviness around her eyes. He was tired too, the night had been a long one. "You need to get some rest before this," he said softly. "You look worn out."

She smiled faintly. "I will when you do," she said. "I have some more people to talk to tonight, but I will when I'm done."

He grinned. "Well you'd better get it done then. Will you be going back to Teb's quarters?"

She nodded. "The disguise was just for tonight." She paused, watching him. "Will you?"

"I have Gamma shift on the Bridge," he replied evenly. It would keep him safely out of Tebrianne's bed. He didn't trust her and he didn't trust himself. To tempt their desires in such a way would be a big mistake.

"I see." She studied him, but didn't say more on the matter, although she wondered what he was thinking would go on with her sitting there watching. Perhaps he was the sort who didn't mind an audience. Or perhaps he thought she had ideas as well. "Will we hopefully have time for a team meeting once the Enforcers are dealt with, before we go?" she asked.

"I should hope so," he agreed. "Was there anything else?"

"No, I guess not," she said. She paused for a moment, then added, "Enjoy your evening." Before turning to go.

He stared after her; seeing nothing as his thoughts went back to his predicament. He turned away and stared out of the port again, wishing that he could just get lost in the stars.

---

"Little Big Man"
By: The Doctor
Tylalyseja sh'Krill

Location: Ashak Nor, Doctor's Office
Stardate: 57910.21 20h21

***

In the real universe, 22nd century composer Renlin Craw was best known for his masterworks devoted to the various small, simple things in the universe. Not only had he written over one hundred pieces of music about his under-developed superfluous nipple, his arias to the various foodstuffs he had sampled throughout his travels were among his most complex and challenging. While it was true his propensity for focusing on the miniscule and the sublime left him mostly unappreciated outside his home on Alpha Centauri, his fans were somewhat a small legion and among the most devoted in the galaxy.

In more than a few of the mirror universes blighting various realities, Renlin Craw was not known for his musically simple odes to the small things in life but for his brooding compositions about death and blood and the absence of all light. And as foreboding as these universes were, Renlin Craw's music still only had appeal to a most small listenership. It was considered too dark and disturbing for all but the most sinister ears.

It was the music of that Renlin Craw that washed over Tylalyseja sh'Krill when she entered the office of the Doctor. Her antennae laid back flat along her snow white hair, seeking to hide from the assault of sound. It did not go unnoticed even though the room was dim and even though the Doctor was otherwise occupied.

"I forget how young you are," he said, hovering over a patient seated in a high-backed examination chair. In one gloved hand he delicately gripped a small gleaming sliver of metal, handling the razor like a barber giving a shave. His charge made no sound or movement at his ministrations. "Vhen you grow older, you vill learn proper appreciation for zis, yes?"

"The Windsor is in the sector, M'lord," she said, nearly wincing as the disharmonious notes continued to assault her senses. They both wore clothing not unlike personnel of the Imperial Fleet but where the inky blackness of those uniforms was contrasted by a departmental color, they wore only more black in sash, collar, and armband. Their collars bore not rank but the symbol of the Imperial Inquisitors, the Doctor's the more elaborate. "Your shuttle is ready for departure."

The Doctor made a movement with the blade that seemed to please him immensely. "I asked to be notified vhen the Vindsor entered der sector," he said with a smile, wiping the razor on a white towel hanging over the chair's armrest. "You vill see to your punishment, yes?"

Tylalyseja stirred uncomfortably. "I will see to it, M'lord," she said, lowering her eyes.

"You may start now," the Doctor said, placing the razor on the nearby tray with a metallic 'tink'. The Doctor removed his red surgical gloves as he strode towards her, smiling at her from behind the blackened lenses of his sensory goggles. In anticipation, sh'Krill took his long black coat from the wall hook and held it at the ready.

"I will clean up for you," Tylalyseja said when The Doctor slipped one spindly arm into his coat sleeve. The Andorian looked over at the high backed chair and took note of the feminine thigh twitching in the dim. "Shall I dispose of her then?" she asked, nodding at the chair.

"No," the Doctor said, adjusting his black trenchcoat. "She is a vork in progress. See to it zat she is made comfortable in my absence. Do not allow her to suicide."

"Your will be done, M'lord," Tylalyseja bowed her head, ever so slightly. She looked at her own reflection staring up at her in the dark pools of his eyewear.

"Beautiful child," he said, cupping a blue cheek with his long, narrow hand. "Vait until I return. I vill see to your punishment personally."

Tylalyseja resisted swallowing the growing lump in her throat. "I would be honored, M'lord," she managed with another small bow. The Doctor smiled broadly at her and stepped out into the corridor where his huge black-armored personal enforcers fell into step behind him. sh'Krill watched them for several thoughtful moments before stepping back behind the closing door.

In the dim, Tylalyseja tentatively rounded the examination chair to see to the Doctor's work in progress. The Andorian barely recognized her as one of the station Socialators who had been so unfortunate as to capture the Doctor's attentions. The audio suppressor strapped over the girl's mouth coupled with the violent notes wafting overhead did an adequate job of masking her whimpers but even an Andorian and an Inquisitor could not help but shudder as the victim stared back at her with lidless, ever unblinking horrified eyes. Just as Renlin Craw assaulted the keys of his viccamagno in a crescendo, Tylalyseja allowed one tear to form and roll down her blue cheek.

"The man is an artist," she murmured to herself, when the song ended.

---

"Paranoia"
By: Ensign Leanne Smythe, Operations
CPO Calyca Boothroyd, Engineering

Location: Boothroyd's quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21, 22h00

***

The nondescript woman made her way down the hall, eyes on the path before her. As she'd hoped, the Enforcers paid little attention to her. She wasn't very noticeable, wasn't very attractive to look at, so didn't attract much interest.

She stopped at the door of Boothroyd's quarters and rang the chime.

Caly jumped at the sound and her heart rate kicked up several notches. It seemed to be an automatic response now. She drew in a breath as she eyed the door. "Computer, who's at the door?"

"Ensign Leanne Smythe is requesting entrance," the computer replied helpfully.

"Ensign Leanne Smythe? Who the hell was that?" It was a rhetorical question since there was no one there to answer her at the moment. Caly was alone, and at twenty-two hundred hours, she wasn't the most trusting soul around. Especially as she'd recently visited Mouse on a "resistance" related task and was paranoid enough to seriously worry about Enforcers showing up.

"Enter," she called out and the door opened as she stood up from the sofa to face the mystery Ensign. She was still a little on the pale-ish side. There was a haunted look in the depths of her eyes and dusky smudges under them. She was dressed in a short-waisted t-shirt and soft drawstring cotton Capri pants.

"Ensign..... Can I help you?" she asked when the woman entered and the door whooshed closed behind her.

The plain looking human woman with the short straight brown hair and chocolate brown eyes entered the room, now speaking until the doors closed. Then she said, in a rather familiar voice, "Hi, Caly. Gods, am I glad to see you..."

Caly blinked and took a step backwards, her face registering confusion. The voice was rather familiar, but... "Excuse me, ma'am?" She hugged the PADD she been holding to her chest.

"It's me. Shiri. I'm in disguise," she said.

The petite engineer blinked again and stared. "Whoa.... Why? Geezus you look...weird...."

She sighed. "It's a long, awful story..." she said. "But on the bright side, I don't have a collar any more. Can we talk for a while?"

"You got rid of your collar?" Caly's was still evident along with the slightly reddened skin beneath it. "Sure..." She motioned to the room at large. "Sit down." She wasn't sure she was up for any more awful stories, but this was... Shirik...

She moved into the room, but paused as she got to Caly, and impulsively hugged her.

Caly blinked in stunned amazement and after a moment of holding herself stiffly, hugged her back with one arm while the other was wedged between them. "Hey.... You okay?" Being hugged by Shiri just wasn't a usual occurrence. Not at all. Especially not something the Drokari woman instigated. Caly couldn't remember it ever happening before.

Shirik didn't answer for a moment. She was surprised herself, she hadn't thought to hug her friend, but had just suddenly been overwhelmed by the need to. "No," she admitted quietly. "But I will be...eventually."

After a moment of silence, Caly nodded. It was much the same answer she'd been giving lately. "Anything I can do?" she offered quietly. It was so strange, talking to this woman that didn't look like Shiri, didn't act like Shiri, and just barely sounded like her. "Uhh... How'd you wind up like... That?" If her voice sounded suspicious it was because part of her was. Caly had never really been paranoid before, but this place was growing on her by leaps and bounds. It bred distrust and paranoia.

"Just be my friend," she smiled faintly. She released Caly and moved to sit. "Dr. Sefton did it. She's very skilled. I needed to look plain and average, so I wouldn't be noticed. It's given me freedom to move around the ship without being watched too closely."

"Oh...." Her confusion was evident in her voice and the way she was looking strangely at Shirik. "And why do you need to do that?" she asked curiously and perched on the edge of the couch. "You know I'm always your friend, Shiri...." Okay... This was just way too weird. Maybe if she closed her eyes she wouldn't feel like she was being tipped off balance.

"Because I'm supposed to be under arrest and confined to Tebrianne's quarters..." she said, then shook her head.

"Tebrianne..." Caly murmured, her feelings about the woman rather evident in her tone, the distrust clear. And then Shirik began...

"I should start at the beginning, I guess." She took a breath and tried not to overly visualize as she related the tale of the night Hadek came to her quarters, and her escape to Saavar's room, and ending with them in sickbay. By that point she had to stop, and had her hands clasped together to keep them from trembling.

Caly just stared at her as the tale unfolded. By the time she was finished, she had the PADD clutched to her chest with both arms and had to blink as she looked away, that familiar feeling swelling up in her face, letting her know tears weren't far away. She had to force them back and took a breath before turning back to Shirik. "I'm so sorry," she offered in a small voice. "That shouldn't happen to anyone... This place is...." What was she supposed to say? She didn't have any idea how to offer her friend comfort... She couldn't even give it to herself. Hydrogen, atomic number 1, symbol 'H', weight 1.0079....

Shirik shook her head and reached for her friend's hand. "We'll be back home soon," she said, hoping that was so.

"I know...." Caly let her hand be pulled away from her body, but she still didn't relax. She was tense, on edge, and ready to bolt in a heartbeat She was once again tossed into this very surreal feeling and had to keep telling herself that this was real... That was really Shirik in front of her... Holding onto her hand... Lithium, atomic number 3, symbol Li, weight... "I'm confused about why you're running around disguised..." she admitted. What was she doing here looking like a non-descript human?

"Hadek's in the brig for his part in what happened, but since I'm now a suspected traitor, I can't be allowed to just walk around the ship. I was confined to Tebrianne's quarters, and as far as anyone knows I'm still there. So I needed a disguise in order to leave her room and get things done. Hence my new look."

Caly didn't look any less confused than she had been before the explanation. She just kept looking at this woman who was supposed to be her friend, but who didn't look like her friend and didn't really even act like her either. She felt like Alice must have when she fell down the rabbit hole... Disorientation was the word of the day... And Shirik holding her hand wasn't helping. And since when do suspected traitors get confined to the Captain's quarters? "Why are you being allowed to walk around the ship? What is it that you're doing exactly?" Maybe this was some elaborate trick by Tebrianne or her people to flush out the resistance movement.... Something to get Caly to tell everything she knew. Who better to send than her best friend...and say she's been altered? Just who the hell was Ensign Leanne Smythe?

She frowned slightly. "Because Tebrianne is helping us," she said. "Hasn't anyone told you?" She paused in thought. "Ben put me in charge of planning an away mission to the station, and I'm trying to make sure everyone's nearly ready for when we get there. Farrell and I have been coordinating and planning, and I thought with your experience in explosives you should be on the team."

"Right.... Tebrianne's helping us..." she agreed complacently, and this Shirik was clearly working with Tebrianne.... When she'd met with the TAC Team, whose loyalties she trusted, it had looked and sounded like Lt. Casey was planning the away mission. Which made a lot more sense to Caly for a Security officer trained in tactics to do that than some Ensign in Operations... And no one had mentioned that Shirik was involved. Not Farrell, or Jurell, or Casey. Nothing in her manner gave away the fact that she was becoming more and more suspicious that she was the victim of a sting operation. An elaborate ruse to get her to tell everything she knew and give away who was involved. "Okay..."

Shirik just looked at her. She knew what was likely running through Caly's head, the same thing that would be running through her head in Caly's place. "You don't really think it's me, do you." It wasn't really a question. "Ask me something to prove it. If you want, I'll cut myself so you can see my blood. Nobody else on board has blue blood. Except maybe T'Challa...."

"No one on board the Sulu, no," she agreed... That left the Windsor and a thousand possibilities. And if the real Shirik was planning this... Then why didn't she know Caly was going with her spiders? And what could she ask that they couldn't have gotten from Shirik with a simple mind scan? "And you'll have to forgive me for being skeptical," she shrugged. Boron, atomic number 5... "We live in paranoid times..."

She nodded. "Indeed, we do... Well, I just wanted to make sure you were ok, and were ready. We'll be arriving at the Gate sometime tomorrow, so we have to be ready to move." She paused, unsure what else to say. If Caly didn't trust her to talk to her, then there wasn't much else.

"I'm fine. And always ready," she answered generically and with a weak smile. She hated feeling this way. So... Paranoid. So... Distrustful. She wondered if things would ever be the same again. A flashback of Crix bloomed unbidden into her mind...the look on his face...his hand gripping the blood covered pain-stick... The ensuing panic clutched and clawed at her insides and she had to swallow past a suddenly swollen throat and draw in a steadying breath. She...would...not...succumb...to.... Nitrogen was discovered by chemist and physician Daniel Rutherford in 1772. He removed oxygen and carbon dioxide from air and showed that the residual gas...

Shirik saw the sudden panicked look on her friend's face, and suddenly felt very helpless. She knew Caly didn't trust her, so there wasn't any point in asking what was wrong. She got to her feet once more. "I'll be meeting with the rest of the team members tonight," she said. "Try to get some sleep if you can, tomorrow's a busy day." She paused for a moment, then turned to go.

Caly stood up and gripped the PADD to her chest defensively after finally getting her hand back. Shirik hadn't told her anything in the short space of time she'd been there. Even now she felt lured towards talking about the 'team members'... All she knew was what Casey had told her earlier that day... Hansen, Finn and Bennett with T'Kal can handle the Station, is what he'd said. And she knew Farrell was involved... If Shirik was planning this mission, wouldn't she know what Caly had been told? Fluorine, atomic number 9, symbol F, weight 18.998403... "Right.... Any idea when this mission is supposed to happen?" Maybe she could find out more about what Shirik knew.

"I asked Ben that, and he couldn't give me any definite time. He said it depends on when we reach the Gate." She sighed. "And he also gave me some more bad news... not only do I have to find the codes to operate the Gate, there's also a minefield guarding the Gate, and I have to find the codes to let us pass through that without getting blown up in the process. I have to talk to Farrell and see who else is slated to go, as far as I know it's you and me, Sorg, T'Kal, Farrell, Sanat as our pilot, and maybe Finn and Bennett as added security. But I'm worried about the timing of everything... Ben said as soon as we reach the Gate, they're gonna take out the Enforcers en masse with gas, and as soon as that's taken care of we have to scramble to go. Then everybody else will wait for our signal that we're done with our part."

Caly blinked at the sudden influx of information that came pouring from Shirik's mouth... It was almost as if the woman had read her mind and rushed to fill in the doubt plaguing blanks... Only the stuff she'd spouted.... Scramble to go? It sounded worse than what Casey had told her... And this was all supposed to happen tomorrow at a moment's notice? And Sorg wasn't going. Finn and Bennett were... ....boiling point 883 degrees Celsius, oxidation states 1... Shirik sounded almost like she was fishing. And dear gods... She was already frightened...they were all gonna die... ...English, 'soda'; Medieval Latin, 'sodanum': a headache remedy... Okay, she had a headache now... ...Long recognized in compounds, sodium was first isolated by... Why didn't Shirik know she was involved with the gas? "Of course, Ma'am.." ...Sodium is present in fair abundance in the sun and stars. The D lines of sodium are...

Ma'am? Caly had called her ma'am? She felt ill. "I'd better go," she murmured, and continued her path to the door. What if nobody believed who she was? She hadn't thought about that. That wouldn't help her any more than being locked in Tebrianne's room. She sighed.

The paranoid engineer stood speechless for several heartbeats before she finally offered a weak and hesitant... "Alright...." Caly frowned as she watched the strange woman who was supposed to be her friend leave her quarters. "I... I'm glad you're okay..." she added lamely.

She paused in the doorway and looked back at Caly a bit sadly. "None of us are, really," she said quietly, and slipped out.

Caly suddenly felt chastised without really understanding why. Okay had, after all, been a very relative term.... To Caly's way of thinking... Functional was equated with being Okay. It was certainly a better state than the one Shyla Moreau was in.....

---

"Friends"
By: Crewman Emma Summers
Ensign Amy Reese

Location: Emma's Quarters, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21 22h10

***

Emma Summers was curled on her bed - tears had long since ceased, but the tracks of them were plain and her eyes were puffy and red. The presence of Tebrianne Bancroft had been a shock. Her nemesis had returned from the grave to stop her plan of revenge upon Benedict T'Kal. His Prophets were trying to protect him from Emma.

She needed to change her plan. Now the child she was carrying was superfluous. She needed it gone, but now wasn't a suitable time for that. It would debilitate her and she could feel events reaching a climax. Emma knew that something was happening on the Sulu. Damhnait Sefton was arranging inoculations against Tarkalean Flu - something totally odd, as the crew's normal boosters would prevent them from getting it. So the planned shots were for something else. Could she use that? Of course she'd have to get Lyrr...somehow arrange for the XO's booster shot to contain her tailored virus. She'd probably need Amy's help for that.

The onset of the virus would be twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Then she'd die as her organs literally melted and every blood vessel in her body broke down, causing massive blood loss. That stage would be anything between twenty and sixty hours until expiration. That depended upon Lyrr's own immune system and how well it could fight such a devastating infection.

It would be pleasurable to watch her die. Even more so to watch Benedict as his Betrothed slipped away from him. That left Tebrianne. Something more direct would have to be used. Shirik's dagger? Could she manoeuvre Shirik Lektar into killing the Romulan for her? She doubted it. She needed more preparation time to do that.

Time. She didn't have the time. Could she make a deal with T'Briane? Turn them in and have the Captain of the Windsor deliver the punishment...that was a better idea. She'd just have to find out what was going to happen first. Maybe Amy Reese would know that? Turning them in might even prove advantageous for Emma.

The door to her quarters slid aside with a soft hiss and Amy Reese stepped inside. The room was darkened, the only light coming from the stars outside the view port. Emma was a softly lit silhouette on the bed, laying atop the rumpled sheets, covers tossed aside and clad in only underwear. Her long dark hair was fanned across the pillow that was still wet with her tears.

"Emma?" Amy gasped softly at the sight and rushed to Emma's side. She was hesitant to disturb the bed by sitting upon it, but Amy did so and with trepidation she placed a hand on her friend's bare shoulder. "Emma? What's wrong?" She sighed. "Don't be afraid. We'll get through this - all of us. We'll be alright, I promise!"

At Amy's attempt at comfort, Emma rolled over so that her head rested upon Amy's lap and her arms snaked around her waist. The girl's soft perfume and soothing voice held a wealth of comfort and Emma couldn't help feeling a rush of affection for Amy. She held her tightly, and tears came again. "I'm afraid," she whispered hoarsely. "I can't have a baby here...not in this place, Amy. I couldn't bear it." She sniffled, her face buried in Amy's tunic, pressed against her lap.

"Oh, Emma," she whispered soothingly, and began stroking her long, brown tresses. "We'll get home - we've got a plan, remember? We just have to do our part, and it'll be alright." Emma's warm breath penetrated through the fabric of her pants, and she recalled memories of their night together. Amy sighed unsteadily. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Stay with me?" she asked in a small voice. She looked up at Amy, rolling slightly so that she could see the lovely face above her. Emma's eyes were filled with tears that slid slowly down her cheeks and her lips trembled. She took hold of Amy's hand and twined her fingers in hers, holding it to her chest. "Please, Amy...don't leave me."

"I won't," she assured her ardently. "I'm staying right here, Emma." To give her further confidence, Amy curled up onto her side and pulled Emma into an embrace. "We'll be fine, Emma," she murmured against her friend's forehead. "I'll keep you safe." Amy smiled. "You and little Amy Jr."

Emma nodded, and slid her arms around her friend and lover, pressing herself against Amy and twining her legs with hers. When she was comfortable and could hear Amy's heart beating against her, she sighed. "I love you, Amy," she whispered and felt the girl's hand brush her back comfortingly. It made her shiver. She pressed herself more firmly against Amy's soft curves, feeling the heat from her body against Emma's exposed skin.

"I-I love you, too," Amy breathed, and moved her lips to Emma's cheek, catching the edge of her mouth. The sweetness of her lips enticed Amy, who kissed her fully, then, and slid her hand past the waistband of Emma's thin undergarment. "I don't wanna die," she groaned, and stole her fingers inside Emma's warmth.

The kiss was soft, and Emma fully responded to it, her arms going around Amy's neck and into her hair as she surrendered to her willingly, almost desperately. A sharp intake of breath and a shuddering groan escaped Emma's lips as she felt Amy's deep caress. It was unexpected, but she couldn't help responding to it. "Oh...Amy...." She sighed as she fed from her lips, drawing her into a passionate and utterly sensuous kiss while her hips pushed upward and she allowed Amy to do as she wished.

There was no tentativeness about it. Amy knew what she wanted and Emma gave it; needing it as much as Amy did. Her hands stole inside her uniform, fumbled with zippers and pulled her garments free as she fought the erotic sensations of what Amy was so intent upon doing. All thought of plans and schemes vanished in a fog of instant desire and pleasure. This time she wasn't the predator, she was the object of desire, and Emma responded to it totally.

"Yesss...Amy...please...." Her pleading tone was full of lust and desire and she couldn't get enough of Amy's lips, kissing her as she pushed off the sleeves of her uniform, unhooking her bra, and freeing herself from the confines of her own.

"Not too long," Amy murmured as her fingers tangled in Emma's hair and lips moved to her friend's throat. "I have hypos to prepare...."

She almost missed her words, she was so intent upon the sensations Amy was evoking in her. "I'll...I'll help," she hissed and caught her breath as Amy's lips went lower. "Later... " She closed her eyes and shivered delightfully. Emma wondered if she could just forget everything else and just surrender herself to Amy; to being loved. It was an almost frightening feeling to be able to forget her mission and just allow her feelings to settle upon the girl who was ardently loving her. Could she? Could she forget all the pain, all the things she had forced herself to endure? Just for Amy Reese?

"Ohhhhh, Amy..." she sighed and bit her lower lip, flushed and hot as she clenched her fists in the sheets and struggled to breathe. She let go of all thought and just drifted with it; the tiny bolts of white hot pressure and the tingling, spiralling hunger and reach for oblivion. She reached for Amy's hands and grasped them, twining her fingers and gripping them hard as she arched her back and gasped out her name again and again as she surrendered to the heat and the intimacy of what Amy was doing to her. It was beautiful, rapturous, a ball of lightning in her belly that shot upward and outward and made her whole body spasm and clench in a shaking, shuddering release that seemed to last forever.

It left Emma gasping for breath and lightheaded. Weakly she pulled Amy upward, and kissed her, tenderly and lovingly, until she couldn't stand it anymore and she had her own hunger to sate; and Amy took her own turn being loved.

It was what they both needed to assuage their grief and fears. Holding Emma, and Emma holding her back after both had been spent provided the comfort that would keep them persevering until they either returned home, or died trying. Amy whimpered and buried her face into Emma's damp hair, and twined her legs tighter around her friend's. "We'll get home," she whispered hopefully. "We'll make this work."

For a moment Emma Summers allowed herself to believe it. As she stroked Amy's back and kissed her face with tiny brushes of her lips, she felt an overwhelming desire to stay with her. She smiled and brushed her cheek against Amy's, her eyes closed and her whole awareness centred upon the girl in her arms. What was important? she asked of herself then. Love or revenge?

It was the first time that she truly questioned her desire for revenge. As her lips planted kisses upon Amy Reese's throat and her hands smoothed over warm, soft skin, she realized with trepidation that she did have genuine feelings for Amy. It made her heart skip a beat as she scraped her long fingernails lightly across Amy's thigh. She looked up then, and stared into Amy's eyes, stroking her cheek and brushing a damp lock of hair away from her ear. With a trembling hand she pressed her fingers against Amy's lips, tracing her chin and watching her eyes intently.

"How did you do this to me?" she whispered, as she gazed into Amy's eyes. "How did you make me love you?" A single tear welled in her eye and dropped down her face. Why now? Could she just be Emma Summers and let Cathy Page vanish? She wanted to...looking into Amy Reese's eyes she knew she wanted to.

Amy grinned, her slender nose wrinkling as she stifled a giggle. "You make it sound so horrible!" she exclaimed. Sighing as she nestled her head into the curve of Emma's long neck, Amy mused, "Though, the falling in love part isn't hard. It's the staying in love that is. Look at Kit? He barely even sees me anymore... But," she continued thoughtfully, "no matter what, Emma...I'll always love you, too." Again she gazed up at her, smiling warmly. "You're my best friend."

Emma smiled, and leaned in to kiss her. It was a lingering kiss. "No matter what?" she asked in a throaty whisper. "Do you want Kit?" she asked, her lips brushing Amy's.

Amy shrugged uncertainly. "I love him...and I wish I could be with him.... But it's so hard. It shouldn't be that difficult...." She sighed morosely. "Why can't it be simple, like with you and me? I really like being with you, Emma."

"I really like being with you too," she answered, as she nuzzled her neck. She felt a jab of jealousy that Amy still loved Kit Markham, but Amy wasn't one to spare anyone her love. She had enough for everyone. Even enough for Catherine Page. Why didn't Markham understand that? It was a fundamental part of who Amy Reese was. Amy had a big heart, she could love just as intensely any number of people. She didn't need just one, she couldn't bottle it up for just one. Emma knew that. Perhaps that was why she loved her too. Kit Markham just didn't understand that. "Perhaps...we can make him understand," she whispered as her lips caressed Amy's shoulder.

"Oh, I don't know," she answered with a wan smile. "He'd dump me ten times over if he found out about this." Giggling gently as she pressed in closer to Emma, Amy said, "Let's keep it our secret...and little baby Amy's." She placed a kiss upon Emma's left breast, and felt its lingering warmth. Grinning broadly at her friend, she whispered, "You wanna come do rounds with me? We need to get that vaccine distributed."

Emma laughed softly, a part of her mind turning over ideas and knowing that she really couldn't pass this up. It fit just a little too neatly. She giggled as her breast tingled from the kiss; it seemed to go right to her loins. She sighed. "As long as we finish quickly and steal some more time together." She bent and bit softly at Amy's ample breast, teasing her with a soft flick of her tongue. "Shower with me?" she asked huskily.

Amy couldn't prevent the mischievous smile she now wore from appearing; allowing a boisterous giggle to escape, Amy rolled away from Emma and out of bed. Standing naked and flushed before her, Amy began backing from the bed while sensuously winding a hand from her breasts, along her stomach, and down between her legs. "You promise a shower is all we'll do?" she teased.

"No." Emma smiled and bit her lip as she watched Amy's hand travel until it, and her gaze, settled on one spot. She slid off the bed and followed Amy with a grin, shaking out her long dark tresses and feeling an ache that had started all over again. She followed her into the shower and as the warm water ran down their bodies she teased Amy with kisses and soapy caresses.

"Emma?" Amy asked inquisitively, eyes mesmerized by the silky trail of soap her hand left across Emma's chest. "When the baby's born...can I...well... Can I help raise it?" She beamed with a smile. "Like a sister."

Emma's breath caught in her throat. She closed her eyes, concentrating on Amy's hand and the silken feel of it than on her words or their stark meaning. "Of course," she said automatically, knowing full well that it wasn't going to happen. She couldn't subject her body to the ravages of childbirth. No, it was a dream. It was too far gone. Her wavering resolve firmed as she knew that today she would remove Lyrr. The woman Betrothed to Benedict had to die. She still loved him...but she wanted to live. Amy offered a chance at a life.

She knew what would happen. The virus would kill Lyrr and Benedict would go back to Tebrianne. The question was - did she care? It was only restoring the natural order of things. After all, Cathy Page had destroyed their relationship to begin with, and now she found herself in the position of being the person responsible for putting them back together. It had a certain symmetry. She'd kill Lyrr and mend things. Then she'd have Amy. Would Amy still love her if she miscarried the child?

Emma's eyes opened to look into Amy's. "Vincent wants to marry me," she said. "I said yes...but now...I don't want to. I want you." She pulled Amy closer. "I want you, Amy," she repeated as she kissed her wet lips.

Amy murmured a light-hearted protest, then laughed softly as she separated their lips. "Emma...we can't get married, you know." She held up her hand and waved her fingers at Emma, displaying the ring on her second last knuckle. "I already promised Kit...but," she amended, flattening her hand upon Emma's bosom, "that doesn't mean we can't still be" -- leaning forward, she kissed the hollow of her neck and glanced up-- "friends."

Emma sighed as Amy's lips caused her to shiver even under the warm water. "Are you still going to marry him?" she asked softly. "If you are...I don't mind...I can share." She bit Amy's bottom lip, drawing on it softly. "Maybe you can share too." She smiled suggestively. "Would you like to play with Vincent? I'm sure I can talk him in to it. He is cute...and his stamina is unbelievable." She giggled and slid her hand between Amy's thighs. "He really does know how to please a girl." She made Amy suck in a deep breath and groan.

"Oh, I can't," Amy sighed as her head rolled forward onto Emma's shoulder. "Girls are one thing--" Her breath caught and Amy's hips swayed forward. "Boys are another," she managed barely.

"Then maybe I can share Kitty," she whispered in her ear as she licked the lobe and continued with the rocking of Amy's hips. Her mouth trailed down Amy's neck, pushing her gently against the glass wall as she kissed her way downward. She slid to her knees, allowing the warm water to cascade across Amy's chest. She grinned up at Amy. "I could try and seduce him," she suggested as she leaned forward and replaced her hand with her lips.

Amy yelped and flung her arms back for support against the shower door. The glass squeaked as her fingers dragged across the slippery surface, and there was a thump where her head fell back against it. She sighed into the ceiling overhead. "Y-You could try," she haltingly whispered. "But I don't-- He's prudish that way...." Amy emitted a surprised shout and clenched her eyes shut when a pure, focused spike of ecstasy truly struck her. Emma's name was the only one she cried out.

As Amy recovered her breath, Emma ordered the computer to dry them off. As the warm air surrounded them Emma began brushing the tangles from Amy's hair. "Do you want me to try?" she asked softly. "I'm sure I could...but only if you want me to."

"I-I want you to," Amy answered timorously, remembering how Emma tenaciously took her that first night, and realizing she could do the same with Kit if she wanted. Amy envied her in that respect. She smiled hesitantly over her shoulder, and told her, "You should do it, Emma. You deserve it."

"Deserve it?" Emma giggled. "Is he really that good? You should really try Vincent...all hard body and boundless energy. Okay though...if we get out of this mess the Sulu is in...do they have a plan, Amy? You'd know...being an officer...what's going to happen?" She whispered it, still brushing her hair so that it was shiny.

"We have to go around and distribute the vaccinations for this Tarkalean flu that's going around," she explained. "Though...the Enforcers aren't getting the real thing - it's a placebo, and...and so when they gas the ship, we'll be immune, but they'll all drop unconscious." Amy smiled proudly as if the plan had been her own. "That's why we need to hurry. We have to make sure the very last Enforcer is injected."

"Enforcers being injected? Will they go for it? It sounds to me like we'd be trying to drug them. Surely they wouldn't go for it. Wouldn't it be better to not inject them at all?"

"But the whole crew's getting injected," Amy told her. "If we skip over them, they'll be suspicious. So we at least have to offer." Turning around and gently taking the brush from Emma's hand, Amy added, "So...wanna help?"

"Of course." Emma's face screwed up in distaste. "I don't want you going near those thugs...but I'll go with you for sure. I heard Lieutenant Tagliesh was raped by them...is that true?" She turned so that Amy could brush her long dark hair and she leaned against the glass wall, and playfully brushed her rear against Amy's belly. That made her think another thought entirely. What if she could set T'Kal up to rape someone else...maybe Scott? The drugs would work on both sexes. That would leave her out of it entirely and maybe the punishment meted out to Crix and the other one would be done to Benedict as well...maybe.... She smirked as Amy started brushing her hair.

"I haven't seen the medical records," Amy sighed, shaking her head pitiably. "I heard Captain Bancroft had the guy tossed into the brig for it. But, I try to give them a wide berth, and I never venture out alone. So, if you come with me" --she kissed Emma's shoulder-- "then I won't have to be."

"I'll go with you, baby," she smiled and reached behind her to caress Amy's thigh and the curve of her rear, surrendering to the brushing. "If they touched you...I'd kill them," she whispered.

Amy chuckled. "With your looks?" she teased.

"Don't underestimate me." She grinned as she chuckled. "I know how to defend myself. I had a very good teacher once." She cast a look back at Amy. "I can be very mean when I want to be."

"I bet! I remember that Annika incident in the lounge." Amy snickered. "I like having you as a bodyguard." She smoothed down Emma's newly combed hair, then kissed the back of her head. "We should go, then. Time's running short."

"Okay," Emma murmured. It had been a long, long time since she'd been given the attention that Amy gave her. She turned and kissed her deeply, holding her for a moment before releasing her and smiling. "We can get back to this later." She stepped out of the fresher and sauntered back into her bedroom.

She dressed quickly, a simple Class A uniform and nothing underneath. She smiled at Amy as she pulled on her boots.

The perfume bottle was sitting on her dresser with a few other assorted fragrances. She picked it up and twisted the cap, releasing the small cartridge from its center, while hiding the action with her back to Amy. She picked up another sprayer and dosed herself lightly while pocketing the cartridge. It would neatly fit a medikit's hypospray unit. She smiled grimly, relishing the feeling and the sexual thrill that anticipation of a killing gave her. When she'd done what she had to do, she'd take her appetite out on Amy.

"Let's go then." She turned brightly to Amy, her face once again carefree and happy.

Amy nodded duteously, though with a dazzling smile, and linked arms with Emma. "We'll teach them a lesson," Amy said fervently, and with a light kiss to Emma's cheek.

Emma laughed. Yes, she thought, a lesson was surely going to be taught today.

They stepped out of her quarters. "First stop: Medical to pick up what we need?" she asked Amy as they walked to the turbo-lift.

"We already have what we need," Amy quipped, smiling significantly at her friend. "But yeah...let's go get those hypos." Chuckling, they let the lift doors close behind them.

---

"Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow"
By: Ensign Shirik Lektar, Operations
Lieutenant Saavar, Science

Location: Astrometrics, USS Sulu
Stardate: 57910.21, 23h00

***

The plain human woman left the room of her best friend and made her way to a turbolift. As the doors closed, leaving her alone, she sighed. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. The mission was weighing heavily on her. Communications between the team was not good, she knew. All of them were worn out and strung out from the situation, some of them mentally shaken, herself included. The mission was complex, with many factors, lots of unknowns. She knew the chances of them succeeding in everything that needed to get done and getting safely back home were not good. If they managed to blow the station and destroy the Gate, she'd consider it a success, even if none of them made it through the Gate to home. Once she left the Sulu, she might never see it or the people on it again.

After a few moments of silence, the computer voice made her jump. "Please state destination."

"Computer, location of Lt. Saavar," she said.

"Lt. Saavar is located in Astrometrics."

"Astrometrics," she ordered, and the lift began to move.

As it moved, she took deep breaths and started meditating as Saavar had been teaching her. She managed to find some measure of calm before the lift stopped and the doors parted. Folding her hands behind her back, she exited the lift and walked the short distance to Astrometrics, moving inside and looking around for Saavar.

Lieutenant Saavar was standing at the central terminal staring up at the expanse of stars and Astrometrics readings. His fingers tapped out a staccato rhythm on the interface. It looked for all intents that he was simply studying the space around the Sulu. His Vulcan ears were sensitive and the footsteps warned him. It was completely innocent when the Human female entered Astrometrics, however he turned and frowned at the woman he had never before seen on the Sulu at all - and he knew every single face of the crew. Yet he knew her. "Shirik," he said.

She inclined her head with a small smile. She had expected their bond would reveal her true identity to him. "Hello, Saavar." She turned her chocolate brown gaze to the screen. "What are you working on?"

"I cannot say that your appearance is an improvement," he said with distaste lacing his tone. "You might have selected a Vulcan identity," he raised a brow.

She raised one back in near perfect imitation. "Saavar. Surely you don't possess a dislike for humans?" Her tone was even, but the bond brought him the knowledge that she was teasing, although a bit surprised by the distaste in his tone. "There are a limited number of Vulcans on board, and a new one suddenly appearing would be far easier to spot than a plain human."

He seemed mollified by her explanation. "Plain...is an understatement," he replied. He turned to the screens. "I am working on discerning the shield frequency modulation of the Windsor using refraction variations of the wavelengths of the starlight passing through the shield as we travel. Starfleet shield parameters are based upon the same technology. There are no discernable differences in technology for the shields, and so I have already narrowed the scope of the definition. The cyclic modulation will be determined within a few hours. It occurred to me that the Astrometric systems of the Sulu are far in advance of the systems on the Windsor - they would most likely be unaware of the capabilities. To all who examine what the system is doing; it appears to be studying the frequency and definition of the nearby stars - not the Windsor's shields." He sounded smug.

"A very clever plan," she agreed, eyeing him as his tone again surprised her. "And very important work that I don't want to interrupt, so I won't stay for long. But I needed to talk to you about something."

"Of course," he replied evenly. "Something is a rather loose term...you should focus on the accuracy of your statements." He was feeling irrationally emotional. He did not like her appearance at all. If this was to be their last encounter, it would be the wrong face from which to say goodbye. He did not wish to say goodbye to her regardless. She was leaving on a mission if all went to plan, that she may never return from. They both knew the risks - and this whole mission was suicidal. Success was marginal; and he chided himself. Success was four point zero one three seven percent probable. Not good odds.

He wasn't acting like himself, she knew. She just watched him in silence for a time, focusing on the bond, using it to read him. "Does it really matter what I look like?" she asked quietly.

"You are attempting to use logic against me," he said with a slight smile. "Outward appearance is of course of no real consequence...but I am feeling emotional on this subject and the outward appearance I have grown accustomed to is quite beautiful. I realize that it is irrational. It is a failure on my part I admit."

She smiled faintly in return. "It's not irrational to me." She paused. "You know why I've come, then. It occurred to me that there might not be time to see you later... before I had to go."

"Yes," he nodded, not taking his eyes off hers. Strange brown eyes. He missed the violet. "Would you care to stay with me while I work. Your assistance in narrowing the algorithm would be significant."

"I can stay for a time. What can I do to help?" she asked, turning her eyes to the controls.

"The shield recycle or Nutation rate is zero point five three seven nanoseconds between each pattern. I have determined the pattern to consist of twenty three frequencies. I have seven of those frequencies identified due the light refraction from known stars. You could attempt to determine the modulation parameters by extrapolation, to determine the mathematical model."

She nodded, stepping up beside him to the console. "Feed me the frequencies you have, and I'll begin an analysis," she said, her fingers already at work.

He stood beside her and relayed the data. "My thoughts will be with you," he said softly as he worked.

She began a mathematical analysis of the data and paused as it ran. "I know, Saavar," she replied quietly. "Mine will be with you, too."

"Yes," he said, tapping the LCARS and resuming his previous analysis. There were no words to convey how he felt. The impending feeling of loss was like a Black Hole opening inside him. "I am unaccustomed to the emotional reaction I am experiencing. It is unpleasant." His fingers still worked upon the graphical displays.

"Try not to worry about me," she murmured softly as she tapped more variations into the analysis. "Things weren't promising when I was infected with the virus, but I managed to survive that. Maybe I'll be that lucky again. But even if I'm not... If my actions help you to get home, I'll be happy. Remember that."

"Of course, but the use of ambiguities such as maybe and lucky do not instill confidence in the success of your venture. I will worry about you. That is a certainty. I would also rather go with you than be left behind. I find myself unable to put aside unfamiliar emotions."

"Under the circumstances, I can't be any more precise. I wish I could be." She paused. "Vulcans aren't supposed to worry." She had the urge to reach for his hand, to reassure him, but she was busy tapping in commands. "I'll feel better knowing you're here, where it's safer."

"I would...feel better if the situation was reversed and I were offering platitudes to you." He tasked the lateral sensor array to focus on a star ahead of their projected course and fed in the data to examine the light frequencies as the Windsor eclipsed the star.

"I think it's my turn," she said with a small smile. She started a computer search to cross-reference the frequencies they had against known shield frequencies from their own universe to look for any correlations.

"You must return," he said definitely. "Any other result is unacceptable. I believe you to be an entirely compatible mate." He turned to look at her then as his fingers selected another target star. "I do not wish to be without you, Shirik. You have enriched my life experience immeasurably. Your absence is not a matter I am able to logically dismiss." His grey eyes held an entirely different meaning.

Her fingers froze in their work at his words. She didn't look up from the console before her. "You must be aware how slim the chances of my returning are," she said softly, only loud enough for Vulcan or Rennari ears to hear. "I certainly will do my best to return, but..." she trailed off, feeling his eyes on her. There was more she could say, but it would serve no purpose now. If she didn't return, any words would be moot. She swallowed.

"I have calculated the chances of success," he answered just as softly. "I will anticipate your return. I can do nothing else, as the alternative is...." He looked back at the LCARS unable to complete the sentence himself. It will be painful, he thought. He felt the weight of impending doom and knew that it would be an experience that he had never anticipated feeling. Suddenly he felt lost. Logic did not help him. His mind stopped performing the calculations and his fingers stopped moving on the LCARS. It was strange to experience emotions that had no basis in his knowledge. He had no definition for despair; but he knew how it felt suddenly.

She lifted one hand from the console, and laid it over the top of his. "Everything will be all right," she said softly. She knew that much to be true, she felt it. All things were all right, given enough time. But she knew how he would feel if she didn't return, and she felt bad for him. Her pain would be over, but his would be only beginning. Her will that she had compiled when she had the virus and had since updated was in the computer, and she knew he'd know how to find it and would make sure it was followed, assuming the Sulu made it home safely.

The contact of her hand was coupled with an instant meshing of their bonded minds. Her firm belief that things would work out and her arrangements, should that prove false, were laid bare to him and he acquiesced to her wishes in a mental assent that seemed bereft. He was swallowed by sadness and he experienced the emotion out of sheer surprise at its strength. He asserted his s'at training before the ungainly emotional content could diminish him, though the flash of instant connection that her fingers ignited was surprising in its own intensity. His long slender fingers enclosed hers and once again, un-Vulcan-like he brought her palm to his lips and kissed it. The gesture held a hint of suppressed intimacy and the unexpressed and wholly unfamiliar emotion behind it. Saavar found breathing difficult at that touch of her mind, and it further disconcerted him to be touching lips to a wrongly pigmented hand.

Her eyes were dragged up to his face as he raised her hand to his lips, and she swallowed again as sadness welled up inside her, her own and his. She couldn't speak, what words were there? She remembered his whispered words the last time they were together. There will be many tomorrows. Would there be? Not for her, perhaps, but she would make sure that there were for him, and for the rest of the people on the Sulu, and in the Federation, and in their own universe. His emotions the bond brought to her caused a lump to form in her throat.

Do not grieve, he thought as their bond intensified with the meshing of their minds. There will be many tomorrows, he smiled, though the sadness was a river that washed them both. It was bitter-sweet, as he affirmed her place in his life. She was his bond mate, and he considered her in every way his equal and his match. Their agreement for it to be temporary was also in his mind, and as they shared thoughts it became plain to both of them that he wished it otherwise. Now that didn't seem to matter.

Her fingers tightened around his. Nor you, she thought back to him. What was in him, his thoughts and feelings, surprised her, touched her, scared her and worried her all at the same time. But what they could or couldn't do, what she wanted or didn't want, what if any future they might have together, none of it mattered now. It was almost a relief, knowing she was going off to possibly never return, to never have to come back and deal with these things. But the thought of never seeing him again caused an answering sadness in her that echoed his own. She wished she had a katra like the Vulcans did, that she could entrust to his care as she went off into the unknown. She knew it would be a great comfort to him if she could.

The console beeped and drew her gaze from him. "The computer has a potential sequence," she said, examining the numbers spit out by the analysis.

He nodded and resumed the task. It was a relief to do so. He found it more than a challenge to tackle these emotional issues, and he knew that he would have to spend the next day or so in deep meditation to put them back where they belonged. He dutifully fed the sequence into the spectral analysis and three more frequencies were identified immediately. Half-way there almost....

She took back her hand as she turned her mind as well to the task, also with relief. She nodded with satisfaction as three more frequencies went into place, and reset the analysis to wait for more data from his scans to be added. In the brief break, she closed her eyes and took even breaths to focus her mind once more on the task and push away any other distracting thoughts. It had become much easier to do since being bonded to Saavar, and she had to agree with his assessment at her improvement in mental clarity and concentration. It was a useful improvement. When her eyes opened, she was calm and collected once more.

Saavar sensed her calmness and was satisfied by how swiftly she had accomplished it. She had progressed significantly and he took a measure of pride in being the instigator of her new-found skill. Assisting her to gain clarity of thought was an accomplishment that he treasured, it showed more than anything the symbiotic nature of their relationship now. They were changing each other in significant ways. The changes were improvements, without a doubt, and demonstrated a healthy growth and acceptance of each other. The science officer knew that if Shirik Lektar did not return from her mission, he would still retain the fundamental changes she had wrought, and her memory would remain with him, undiminished by time. The Vulcan scientist respected her abilities, her intellect and her ability to bring about the better aspects of Saavar's self. He reflected that she was in every respect but name his wife. He knew that she did not see herself in that light. He knew that she cared for him, as he cared for her, and that this arrangement was temporary by her own definition. Yet this did not diminish Saavar's own feelings. He did not require her to do anything other than what she herself desired. He was content to share what she gave, yet did not see it as selfless.

He looked up at her once more, his whole being calmed and at peace. His lips curled in a smile as he regarded her. Although the body was not hers, he knew the mind, and the tone of her. "If there is time," he said gently, "I would give much to see your face once more."

She glanced up at him once more, and the small smile she gave him was very familiar. "I'd like that myself. If I can arrange it, I will." The console beeped as another correlation finished and she sent the results into the analysis routine.

They worked side by side, a comfortable silence enveloping them as everything that they could say was said. Saavar was satisfied at last when the remaining two frequencies fell into place. He looked up at the Astrometrics dome and at the image of the ISS Windsor as it hovered ahead and slightly above the Sulu. Until the Windsor's Tactical Officer changed the shield modulation, the data that Saavar encrypted and sent to the TAC Team would allow the phasers of the Sulu to match frequencies. It would only work for the first salvo. The Tactical systems of the Windsor would change the modulation as soon as it detected what was occurring, but that may be all they needed. One shot. He uploaded the data file to Lt. Zareb in Engineering also. It would be better suited for the Nightingale mission.

Shirik set about cleaning up, making sure no trace remained of what they'd actually been doing, and let her hands slip from the console. "Well... I suppose I'd better get going," she said, checking the time.

Saavar nodded, turning to her once more, he reached out and touched her cheek with the tips of his fingers, the brush of his mind like a breeze filled with sadness and longing. "Until you return," he said softly.

Her eyes rose to meet his. She knew she might not get to see him again before she left, this might be it. The impulse overtook her and had her moving before it had even registered in her brain. She stepped closer, one hand reaching up to slip behind his head and pull him to her as her lips reached for his, and she kissed him deeply, all her fear and hope and sadness and affection behind it. It was a kiss she wanted him to have if it was to be his last memory of her.

Saavar's senses swam with her, and he drew her into a strong embrace that lifted her onto her toes as he kissed her back. After a long while he broke the kiss but slid his cheek against hers and held her. He remained silent but his thoughts were upon her safe return. He did not say, nor did he think of her parting as the last time. He smiled and the expression filled his mind. He let her experience some of his memories of her as his mind opened into the meld, and he showed her the joy that she had brought to him and in a new light of revelation he saw the feelings he held for her for what they truly were. It was an amazing thing...and it was poignant that it was a discovery made on the moment of their parting. Saavar knew what it was to be in love. He didn't speak, and he stepped slightly away from her.

She smiled at him as they parted, a complete, genuine smile that sparkled in her eyes. It was the parting she wanted, for him and herself. One of happiness, rather than sorrow. She didn't speak as she turned away finally and left the room.

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