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"Together Always, Part 1" *** The sounds of customers squabbling with vendors and the searing heat of the sun upon her cheek began pulling Nieme free from the clutches of sleep. She rebelled against the consciousness that was trying to steal from her the most restful sleep she'd ever had, and tried to cling to it by tightening her arms around the unknown form she was embracing. She moaned softly in protest and pressed herself firmly against the warm object lying next to her. Flashes of the night before came back to her in blurred images, but through the fog she could clearly hear Kael's voice singing her to sleep and his brown eyes gazing deeply into hers. Her lips curled into a large smile and she sighed contentedly at the memories. She knew now that the inexplicable sensations she was feeling for Kael were adoration and infatuation, but she knew she was capable of feeling more for him if she could only convince herself that he really did see her as more than just a friend...a child. Nieme cringed at that thought and squeezed her arms tighter as she restlessly stirred. "I'm not a child," she muttered irritably. "Not a child..." Kael was in the middle of a dream, running as the rest of his gang chased him through the sands of Thanatos. Suddenly Ferrig was in front of him, and then they were both on the ground. He punched Ferrig, but it didn't do any good. Then Ferrig started squeezing him in a vice-like grip that quickly took the wind from his lungs. The dream dissolved and Kael quickly realized that the dream wasn't entirely a dream as the tightness in his chest remained. He tried to draw breath and found that it was difficult, like trying to breathe carbosyrup. With a groan he opened his eyes and realized it was Nieme squeezing him. "Nieme," he moaned. "Good morning." "Morning..." Nieme mumbled. She nuzzled her face unwittingly into Kael's neck and moaned gently. "I don't want it to be morning... I hate mornings..." Nieme's hand moved from Kael's waist to his chest where she clutched his shirt between her fingers. "I'm not a child," she muttered again as she shifted against Kael. Kael found himself smiling and kept his arms around Nieme. He sighed gently and closed his eyes again. "No," he said, "you're definitely not a child." He found himself wishing they could stay like this for a very long time. With her in his arms, everything felt...right. Her body against his felt...too nice. Kael winced inwardly as he realized just how nice she did feel, and he really hoped she didn't notice. Nieme sighed deeply as she finally accepted that sleep had lost its hold on her. Her eyes opened slowly and the first thing to fully come into focus were Kael's brown eyes gazing towards the ceiling. He was breathing heavily and he was chewing on his bottom lip while beads of sweat formed on his forehead. Nieme propped herself up onto her elbow and looked at Kael with concern. "What's wrong, Kael? Are you sick?" Kael glanced at Nieme and then smiled. "No," he said softly, "not sick. You were just squeezing me in your sleep. That's all. It's alright now though." "Oh, I'm sorry!" Nieme pulled away from Kael and sat up quickly. "I was dreaming I think. I didn't hurt you, did I?" She quickly scanned Kael's body up and down, but narrowed her eyes and focused on the area below his waist from which something was protruding against the blanket. She gazed up at Kael with a puzzled expression, then hesitantly pointed to the strange lump under the blanket. "What's that?" Kael glanced down and then quickly shifted onto his side. "Oh," he said, "it's nothing. Just...nothing. I think the blankets may have been bunched or something. It's..." He looked up into her eyes and then laughed. "It's just...just...my...um...lying here with you, so close, and you were pressed against me...and you affected me...in a manly way." Nieme shook her head slowly and looked at Kael with the same expression of perplexity. "Affected you? I...I don't understand." Nieme examined Kael's groin once more then shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him. "Well, as long as you're not hurt." Nieme slowly got to her feet and stretched out her arms. She spotted Liam and Jae Dyn sleeping across the way, then crouched down next to Kael. "They're asleep. Should we wake them?" "Definitely not hurt," Kael said as he thought about getting out from under the blankets but decided to wait. "Very far from hurt." He glanced over at Jae Dyn and Liam and shrugged. "I think we should let them sleep, and maybe scrounge something for breakfast for them. And, then we can wake them up." "Ok," Nieme whispered. She started for the stacked crates and motioned Kael along. "You're not taking the blanket with you, are you?" Nieme laughed gently and started down the crates, keeping her eyes on Kael until he disappeared from her view. "Not until certain biological processes reverse themselves," he called back, softly so as to not wake Liam or Jae Dyn. Once he was composed, Kael quickly followed Nieme downstairs. He found her at one of her crates but she got up once he was there. "Ready to go. Where should we go to get stuff?" "I do have to go talk to Orn... Maybe we could go to the Rhack and while I'm breaking the news to him, I can cook the last meal I'll ever cook there." Nieme rubbed away any remaining traces of sleep from her eyes, then focused on Kael and smiled. "I like your coat," she commented. "It suits you. Makes you look tougher and...well...it just suits you is all." Kael smiled and looked away. "Thank you," he said. "You look good in...well, in your clothes too." He laughed. "I don't know if Orn will be too happy about me being there, but I guess he'll just have to come to terms that we're friends. And, maybe when he finds out I'm not a Feltrey anymore, he'll think a little more of me." "Well, it doesn't matter what he thinks. As long as you know who you are, that's the only thing of any consequence." Nieme smiled and slipped her hand into Kael's before pulling him along. "I only hope we don't run into any of those Feltreys. Do you think they'll be looking for you?" Kael shrugged. "They probably won't be out scouring the streets for me, but if they do see me they'll probably want to use my body to sharpen their blades. And, as for Orn, it does matter what he thinks because he's the one who can throw me out of the Rhack. But, I know you'll protect me from him." He looked down at their joined hands as they walked, and realized that he liked that. He quickly looked away remembering the feelings from when he was waking up. He knew that he didn't care what happened here anymore, not if Nieme was going away to be a Jedi. He had to go with her. "All I could do was threaten to quit if he didn't treat you right. Although, I doubt I could use that as leverage now." Nieme laughed and tugged on Kael's arm to hurry him along. "You're so sluggish. You're not a morning person, are you?" "Just not wanting to face Orn, but I know we have to." He hurried along with her as they approached the Rhack. "It's only going to be the two of us at the Temple, at least as far as students go, for a bit. That'll be strange. Though, I think I can get used to it." "We'll have a lot of things to do! I mean, we have an entirely different world to explore out there. Neither of us have been in a real forest before so between training sessions, I'm sure Liam Zaneth will let us go roam about." Nieme slowed her pace as the diner came into view in the distance. "He'll be mad," she said quietly. "I mean, who's gonna cook for him tonight? I...I can't just leave him like that. It's wrong." "Maybe Liam and Jae Dyn will give you some time so Orn can find a replacement. I'm sure they'll understand your responsibility here. Maybe we can stay for an extra week, and he can find a replacement. Then every once in awhile you can maybe come back and cook a special meal for the patrons of the Rhack." "I don't know if it would be safe to stay another week, especially now that Ferrig's got it in for me and you. We have to go as soon as possible." Nieme sighed and gave Kael a tight smile. "He can always call in the temp chef. He's almost as good as me, but he never gets the Hojet right." Kael laughed. "Well, I guess he'll just have to learn to get it right," he said. "Well, we might as well get this over with. I'm sure it can't be too bad. And, I'll be there with you...which will probably only make the situation worse." "Then he better not see us doing this." Nieme grinned as she freed her hand from Kael's and displayed it to him in the air. "These hands are only meant for cooking. He said he always liked these hands - so nimble and adept at slicing any vegetable or scrubbing any pot." Nieme laughed and shook her head slowly. "Orn doesn't exactly have a way with people, does he?" "No, he doesn't," Kael said. "But, he means well. And, I think he's done well watching after you. If it weren't for him, I'm sure some of the members of my gang would have tried to do something to you. I would have tried to stop them, but they really have no discipline. So, I'm glad no one tried anything." "Tried anything like what?" Nieme slowed her pace even more and looked back at Kael with a frown. "You mean they would have... But you would have stopped them, right? I mean, you don't do that sort of thing - you never did. Did you?" "They would have tried to hurt you," Kael said. "And, I would have stopped them. Only one member of my gang ever tried anything like that since I became leader, and I took care of him. I wouldn't have let anyone lay a finger on you." "Even before we were friends?" Nieme sighed sharply and stopped moving forward altogether, then stood in front of Kael with a stern gaze. "I asked you a question. Have you ever...you know." Kael looked away, his face showing obvious pain. He took a deep breath and let it out. "I'd rather not talk about that," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "It was... I'd really rather not..." Nieme's eyes fell to the sands below as Kael's light suddenly dimmed. She didn't know for certain whether his refusal to answer was an admission, but she knew it certainly wasn't a negation. "Oh," Nieme said quietly. "I see." Slowly, she turned away from Kael and began languidly walking towards the Rhack again. If Kael's gang had followed him the night they met, he wouldn't have been able to stop them, as he himself had said. Nieme tried to push the thoughts away, but she couldn't help wondering whether he would have joined them if Ferrig and the others had pulled her into a darkened alley. She also wondered how many he had done that to and whether he enjoyed it at the time. Kael watched as Nieme walked away and felt his insides wrenching. He looked away feeling revulsion for himself and everything he'd been. He found in that moment, as she turned away from him, her dejection clear, that he hated all that the Feltreys stood for and were. He closed his eyes to wall out the memories brought up by Nieme's question, but it wasn't enough. The wounds reopened, feeling just as painful as when he'd first taken them five years earlier. He almost started back toward the house were Jae Dyn and Liam were, but knew that with his past now in the open he would no longer be welcome there. He couldn't go back to his gang even if he wanted to. He looked around at the sand stretching out from him and realized that he truly had nowhere to go now. Nieme glanced back at Kael out of the corner of her eye, and even then she caught a glimpse of his quickly fading colours. The despair and grief emanating from him pulled at her and drained her of any anger she might have felt towards him for acts she wasn't even certain he committed. Nieme stopped her foolish retreat and called back to Kael above the whistling winds. "I believe you would have protected me if Ferrig or the others decided to pick on the poor, little kitchen girl." She slowly turned and finally raised her eyes to Kael. "Your past is your business and I know you're trying to make up for all that but...I guess it was much easier for me to believe you a murderer than...a rapist..." Nieme sighed and moved towards Kael with a gentle smile. "I slept in your arms last night, and you didn't touch me. Even if you did abuse women in the past, I know you're not like that now." "It was only once, and five years ago," Kael said softly. "I hated every minute of it, but as a member of the gang it was expected of me. After that one time, I vowed never again. And, one of the first things I did after I beat down Creig was stop the rape raids. I've woken up so many nights hearing her screams... I didn't want to...but...but they wouldn't let me out of it. I hate myself for that night..." Nieme saw the pain pouring from Kael like blood from an open wound. Certain of what she wanted to do, but uncertain of how Kael would react, she placed her arms around him and embraced him tenderly. "I believe you, Kael," she said gently. "I know about bad dreams. I know they're scary, but together, we can make them go away." Nieme pulled Kael closer and stroked his hair soothingly. "I know you wouldn't hurt me or anyone anymore, Kael. Don't worry. I won't turn my back on you. Not ever." Kael wrapped his arms around Nieme and held her close. "Thank you," he whispered. "I don't think I could handle it if I lost you as a friend, not now that I've walked away from everything else I've known in life." "Well, you won't lose me. Remember, we're bound somehow and that means nothing can come between us." Nieme laughed softly and looked up at Kael. "I like how your coat feels against my skin. If anything, I'll stick around just so I can keep running my fingers along your jacket." She smiled bashfully at Kael and tried to avert her eyes to the ground, but she and Kael were pressed so tightly together, she couldn't see down between them. "We should do this thing with Orn," she said quietly. "Unless you need more hugs, of course." "I think I do," Kael said with a smile. "I like how you feel against my coat. Let's give Orn a couple minutes to prepare for us. I'm sure he'll have a few things to say when he sees us walk in together." Nieme laughed nervously, but complied with Kael's wishes and wrapped her arms around him again. "Is this alright?" she asked almost breathlessly. Nieme laughed again, but swallowed it back as she said, "Orn might like you more if he knew I...well...liked you--like you, I mean." Kael smiled and then looked away as he felt a slight twinge of colour darkened his cheeks. "And, I think he would definitely like me less if he knew I liked you too." Nieme bit her lower lip to stop the unrestrained smile from enveloping her face. She was breathing heavily against Kael's cheek, and swallowing back her anxieties, she nuzzled her face gently into his neck. Her breath almost stopped as she felt her lips lightly brush against the soft flesh of Kael's neck, and as if hit with a sudden electrical shock, Nieme gasped and quickly pulled away. "I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't...I w-won't do it again. I swear. I'm sorry." Kael laughed softly and shook his head. "It's alright," he said. "It felt nice. I don't mind Nieme, I don't mind at all. But, we should probably go get breakfast and talk to Orn." He reached a hand out to her, his eyes sparkling in the light as he looked into her eyes. "Maybe you can teach me how to cook." Nieme nodded absently and tried to regain a steady breathing rhythm as Kael's eyes remained fixed on hers. Blinking away her momentary catatonia, Nieme laughed awkwardly and placed her hand in Kael's. "Cooking... I think I can manage that." Nieme tried to clear the tightness from her throat as she smiled at Kael. Walking along towards the Rhack, Nieme couldn't keep the smile off her face as she glanced towards Kael from time to time. She'd never done anything so bold in her life, but after feeling Kael's flesh against her lips, she knew she would certainly do it again if she gathered up enough courage. Kael couldn't shake the feeling of Nieme's lips brushing against his neck, and realized just how much he liked spending time with her. And, as much as he liked spending time with her, it couldn't compare to holding her close. They finally reached the door to the Rhack and each knew that Orn was standing on the other side. He looked at her and smiled gently. "Are you ready? Do you need any hugs for encouragement?" Nieme laughed and shook her head. "Nice try." She pushed the door of the diner open, and the familiar chiming of the bell hanging above it sounded gently. Orn stepped out from the backroom with a towel draped over his shoulder and wearing a smile that was more a sneer. It truly became one once his eyes fell to Nieme and Kael's fingers laced together. He furrowed his brow as he looked up at both Kael and Nieme, then threw down his cloth and placed his hands angrily on his hips. "What the hell are you doing, Selrid? Get your hands off her." "N-no, Orn. It's ok. He's...he's a friend." Nieme tried to give Orn a reassuring smile, but as he stalked menacingly closer to Kael, she shrank back and gripped his hand tighter. "What're you doing with her, Selrid? She's not some toy for you and your pals to play with." Orn glanced at their joined hands and gave a derisive laugh. "He'll just hurt you, rape you and toss you away, Nieme." "No! He won't!" Nieme forced back the tears, ones formed by the sudden anger and helplessness she was feeling. "Orn, I swear--" "And what about you, Feltrey? Huh? Have you got nothing to say?" Orn shoved Kael back and stared him down. "Huh? No smartass comments this time, I see. What happened, Selrid? Decided to finally shut your mouth for once?" "I'm not a Feltrey anymore," Kael said, fighting down the urge to lash out at Orn. He took a deep breath and let it out. "I quit the gang, though they've got an opening for their new leader if you really want to push people around." He gave Nieme a look that said everything would be alright. He stepped forward to Orn, meeting the man's gaze. "I won't hurt her, and she's not a toy, not to me or anyone else. I know it's too much for your narrow, bigoted mind to wrap itself around, but Nieme and I are friends. You can either accept that, or fight against it, but that's how it is." "She doesn't know you like I know you, Selrid. You're a thug and that's what you've always been. Why the sudden change in profession?" Orn shook his head and sighed deeply. "Nieme, my girl, it's all an act. He's trying to exploit your innocence." "No," Nieme said softly. "Orn...he's changing and I'm helping him. We...we're leaving, Orn, together." "Leaving? You're quitting? Where ya going, Nieme?" Orn looked at Kael then shook his head slowly. "Oh, no, Nieme, I don't think so. There's no way I'm letting you go anywhere with him. Can't you see he's manipulating you?" "Obviously you think you see me manipulating her," Kael said, "but what about yourself, Orn? Can't you see what you're doing to her? If it was up to you, she'd be chained in your kitchen cooking, and never allowed to talk to anyone. Why don't you let her be who she wants, and make her own decisions? She has to walk on her own, and fall if she must. You can't protect her for her entire life." "Nieme wants to be here. She likes working in the kitchen all day, don't you, Nieme?" "I...I like cooking," Nieme replied softly. "But I really do have to leave you, Orn." "Look, whatever he's convinced you to do, Nieme--" "He hasn't convinced me of anything. I convinced him to leave with me." Nieme lowered her eyes to the ground, the sense of betrayal she could feel in Orn too much to bear. "That man yesterday, the one with the blue eyes... He's going to be a teacher for me and Kael. That's why we have to go." Orn gave a short laugh and looked at Kael with an accusatory glare. "And I suppose you did nothing to try and stop her, Selrid. You seem so quick to stand up for her, but where were you when she needed protecting from strangers messing with her mind?" Kael shook his head and looked away. "Why would I want to stop her from doing something she wants to do? You're the only one that does that. You won't let her do anything she wants unless it benefits you. You're fine with her cooking in her kitchen all day, because it makes you credits. But, once she has a chance to go out and make something better of herself, you can only see the bad. Nieme is my friend, and I'm hers. Why can't you see that I'm not the thug you think I am? Not anymore!" Orn sighed wearily and peered down at Kael with a smirk. "The only reason I keep her in that kitchen all day is to protect her. Don't you see? Out there where people like you and your friends roam, she's not safe. With me, she's safe, even if it means she has to slave away in that kitchen all day." Orn turned his gaze to Nieme and his smile softened. "I only do it to keep you safe, Nieme, don't you see? If you leave, I can't do that anymore." "But I'll be with Kael, Orn. He'll keep me safe." Nieme moved closer to Kael and smiled at him before looking back to Orn. "He's not like the rest, Orn. He's...he's my friend." Kael put a protective arm around Nieme and looked at Orn. "I'll keep her safe," he said. "She's the only friend I have now, and I'll do everything I can to keep her safe. It will be alright, Orn." "But...but where am I gonna find someone who can make Hojet the way she does?" Orn laughed softly, then ran his fingers through is graying hair and sighed deeply. "You're really leaving me, Nieme?" Nieme gazed up at Orn somberly and nodded her head slowly. "I have to, Orn. But Kael said he'd bring me around from time to time to visit and maybe cook a meal or two." Nieme slipped from Kael's protective hold, and moved towards Orn with a smile. "You've always been kind to me, Orn, and I'll never forget it." She reached out her hand, and took up his. She gazed down at her small hand dwarfed even moreso by his and realized how truly lucky she'd been to have someone like him protecting her for all those years. With a gentle sob, Nieme wrapped her arms around Orn's waist and embraced him. "Thank you, Orn. You were the closest thing to a father I've ever had. I won't forget you, not ever." Orn swallowed back an unfamiliar tightness in his throat, and wrapped his arms around Nieme's delicate frame. "You crazy kid," he said softly. He covered up the strange thickness of his voice with a gentle laugh, then looked to Kael sternly. "You better take care of her, Selrid, or I'll hunt you down." His gaze softened and he allowed an almost congenial smile for Kael. "Just take care of my girl." Kael nodded. "I will," he said softly. "And, I'll bring her back now and again so you can check on how I'm doing. We've both given too much of ourselves to Thanatos to leave it behind completely, so we'll be back. And, now would be a good time to ban the Feltreys from this place. With Ferrig in charge, I'm sure things will get pretty bad with them from now on." "I only ever let them in here because of you. I knew how much you liked Nieme's Hojet." Orn patted Nieme's back and gently pulled himself free of her rather firm embrace. "You'd better get going. You and Kael can pick up some food for the trip." Nieme nodded solemnly and looked back to Kael. "Come on. I'll go make us some Hojet." "I'm sure Jae Dyn and Liam will be kind of hungry when we get back," he said. "I hope they're still asleep. We don't want them worried about us on our first day as their students." With a glance back to Orn, he followed Nieme back into the kitchen. "Together Always, Part 2" *** "He's a good guy when he's not scowling at me." "He's a good guy always. That's just an act. If he weren't always so surly, the gangs would have overrun this place by now." Nieme stepped into the kitchen and outstretched her arms in presentation. "Welcome to my dungeon." Kael looked around the kitchen and smiled. "Very nice," he said. "For a kitchen. So this is where the Hojet is made? Is there anything I can do to help? Or should I just stand around and look helpful." "Well...you can watch until you get the hang of it." Nieme lit the range and began pulling off her cloak. "There's an extra apron over there if you want." She smiled at Kael and moved past him towards the rack. "Here." Nieme handed him an apron of his own with a laugh. "You might want to take off your jacket, though. There's always a lot of grease splatter." Kael smiled and quickly removed his jacket and replaced it with the apron. "Grease and the jacket don't go well together," he said. "I'll just watch for now, but if you want me to do anything, just let me know." He watched as she started busying herself with cooking the food. "So, was it as bad as you thought it would be? Telling Orn?" "For a minute, I thought you and he were going to come to blows, but I think I managed to calm the waters." Nieme glanced at Kael with a sly grin, then laughed and looked away. "I'll miss him, but we'll be back to visit." She turned to Kael and took his hand to pull him forward. "Come on. I'm gonna teach you something." She upturned his palm and placed her cooking utensil into it. "That's to mix the Hojet. It's really simple actually. Now, stand here and follow the motions of my hand." Kael smiled and watched Nieme as she instructed him. "I didn't want for it to come to blows, but I didn't know how to make him see that I wasn't going to hurt you. I couldn't hurt someone I care for." The smooth motions Nieme was making with her hand became clumsy as Kael's sentiments phased her. "Well..." Nieme laughed nervously, then cleared her throat and smiled at Kael. "He...he's just overprotective. I think he would have reacted the same whether it was you or not." Kael laughed. "I think he put a little extra grumpy blustering into it just because it was me," he said. "I think I'm getting the hang of this cooking thing. I always thought it would be much more difficult." He gave her a smile as he kept mixing the Hojet as she was teaching him. "Well, it is difficult. You have to make certain you cook it just right. Too long, and it'll burn. Not enough, and it tastes bitter. Cooking is actually a very refined art. Not everyone can be a good cook." Nieme sighed. "I sound like a wetter snob." She laughed softly and gently gripped Kael's wrist. "Like this." She began guiding his hand as he mixed the Hojet, then looked up at him and smiled. "You're getting the hang of it. Maybe if you get good enough, you can help me cook at the temple." Kael smiled. "I'd like that," he said. "I wonder how much of our training will be together. I mean, there will only be two of us for awhile, but will Liam and Jae Dyn put us together for our studies, or will we be taught separately by our respective mentors." He glanced at her, finding her eyes with his. "I wouldn't want to do this without you, Nieme. I'm glad I don't have to." "We'll be together, Kael. We'll always be together." Nieme looked down demurely and tried to return her attention to the Hojet. "You're burning it," she said softly. She laughed and pulled the pan from the range. "Maybe we should have started out with something easier than Hojet. It was a good first try though." Nieme smiled at Kael and reached past him to grab a new pot. "Maybe we can convince Liam Zaneth and Jae Dyn Brael to train us together most of the time. It would be good for us. I'm sure I could learn a lot from you." "There's a lot that I can do that you really don't want to learn," Kael said. "But, there are some things I could teach you. And, I think there are things I could learn from you too. I think they'll train us together; it'll be an easier environment to teach in I think." He looked down at the burned Hojet. "I'm sorry about that. I got too carried away talking, I guess." "It's ok. I burnt Hojet the first time I made it too." Nieme drowned the new pan with fresh oil, then gazed up at Kael inquisitively. "And what kinds of things do you think I wouldn't want to learn? I like learning new things." Kael smiled. "Things like how to use your fists in a fight," he said. "Or how to smoke a cigarra without coughing up one of your lungs." He remembered their encounter waking up this morning and laughed. "And, definitely that lump under the covers this morning." Nieme smiled slowly, still uncertain as to what he was referring with regards to that. "Well...maybe I want you to teach me all those things. What if I do? Will you refuse me?" Kael felt his cheeks redden slightly and he smiled. "I don't think I could refuse you," he said softly. "If you wanted to learn, I'd teach you." "Well...maybe I do." Nieme tried to suppress her excitement, but it escaped in the form of a giggle as she pulled Kael into an embrace. "I want to learn everything." She looked up at Kael expectantly and asked, "What will you teach me first? Smoking? Fighting...even though I don't think I'd make a good fighter. And what about the lump? I want to know about everything!" Kael smiled and wrapped his arms around her. He didn't want Orn to overhear this part, or he knew he'd be a dead man. "Well, for now, I'll just tell you about the lump," he said. "And, after we've got food, we can share a smoke on the way back." He took a deep breath and let her go from his hug. As she started working on more Hojet, Kael decided to return to the embarrassing situation from earlier. "That lump...when a man is...when a man is aroused by a woman, his...his prick...his prick gets bigger and stiff. That's what the lump was under the covers this morning. As we were laying there together, with you so close, I couldn't help...reacting." Nieme's hand refused to continue stirring the Hojet and she stood motionless, struggling to take in a breath of air. With her eyes wide with astonishment, Nieme turned her gaze to Kael, but instead of looking into his eyes, her own fell to below his waist. A startled gasp escaped her lips and she quickly looked away again. "I...I didn't know they...did that. I mean...I've never seen...seen one before so..." Nieme placed her hand on her chest to help steady her breathing, then glanced back to Kael with a nervous smile. "I...I did that to you? Is it a good thing?" Kael nodded slowly before having to look away. "It's a good thing," he said and then looked back at her. "At least I think it is. It was very nice sleeping with you in my arms. But, just because I got...you know. I'm not going to do anything; not...not if you didn't want to. But, yeah...you did that..." Nieme covered her mouth with her hand to conceal the sheepish grin. Her rosey cheeks displayed her flattery clearly and her roaming eyes her curiousity about what caused the lump Kael had just described to her. She could do nothing to tear her eyes from Kael's groin and a thought formed in her mind, appealing to her inquisitive nature and encouraging her to ask for a peek. Nieme shook her head quickly and turned away. "I don't know anything about all that," she said breathlessly. "I...I wouldn't know what to do. But...I'm glad I could make you...happy like that." Nieme turned to face Kael and asked eagerly, "I can make it happy again if you need me to. I mean, I don't quite know how, but if it's something you need, I could...do it." "You made me very happy," Kael said with a smile. "If you wanted to again...that would be okay with me. If you want to know about that too, I'd show you; I'd really like to show you." "Show me it?" Nieme asked uncertainly. "Or something else?" She laughed nervously and slowly turned back towards the range. "I...I should pay more attention to the Hojet. I don't know if I'm ready to be shown...that yet. I think you should teach me smoking first or fighting...but not that, not right now." Kael nodded. "Yes," he said. "Don't burn the Hojet. That's my trick. As soon as we get out of here, I'll teach you all about smoking. We can deal with learning about sex later. I'll just stand over here, and look like I'm busy." Nieme flushed at even mention of the act and fumbled with the utensil in her hand. She smiled bashfully at Kael as she righted the stirring fork and added the final seasonings to the Hojet. She transferred the steaming dish to a portable container she'd retrieved and covered it. "That should be enough for the four of us. Do...do we want anything else?" she asked as she turned to Kael. "Something else to eat, I meant," she corrected quickly. Kael smiled and took the container from Nieme. "I think that should be more than enough," he said, "to eat. Now, let's get out of here before Orn makes you do the lunch rush, too." Nieme laughed and reached behind to untie her apron. "You're not leaving without your jacket are you? I doubt it would fit Orn, but I'm sure he could turn it into a tablecloth if he wanted." Kael glanced at his jacket in the corner and laughed. "Not my jacket he's not." He quickly untied his apron and returned it to the hook it'd come from. He grabbed his jacket and slipped into it and faced Nieme. "Better?" "Much." Nieme hung up her own apron and placed on her cloak. She moved to the door and held it open for Kael. "You're holding the Hojet, so I hold the doors." As she handed him the Hojet, he slipped it into a small pack on his back. Nieme smiled, then turned her gaze one final time to the kitchen she'd spent everyday for the last two years in. She wondered, now, whether she would have met Kael or Liam or Jae Dyn if she hadn't seen the sign on the window of the Rhack asking for a cook, or if Orn hadn't taken pity on her and given her a chance to prove herself. There were so many variables that needed to be taken into account to explain her life being the way it was at that moment, yet whatever they were, all of them seemed to have been working in her favour. "Time to start over, Kael," she said gently. "Let's see what paths open up for us now." Kael glanced back to the kitchen and then to the door, then his gaze came back to rest on Nieme. "As long as we're together in this," he said, "we'll make it. The next steps we take will be leading us into our new life and new destinies." He thought about taking her hand again, but decided that after the close call in the kitchen, it'd be best not to just yet. "Let's go see if Liam and Jae Dyn are awake." "Good idea." With final goodbyes said to Orn, and one last look around the diner to absorb as much of it in her memory as she could, Nieme and Kael ventured out into the desert. She gazed up at Kael and with a smile, slipped her hand into his. "Definitely together. That's how it's to always be and I wouldn't have any other way." Kael looked down at their hands, entwined together, and smiled. "Always," he said. "Let's get back before they think we've skipped out on them." He reached into a pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarras. He slipped one out of the pack, popped it into his mouth and then lit it from the flare patch on the pack. He took a couple drags and then glanced at Nieme. "Want to try?" Nieme gazed at the burning cigarra and chewed her lip pensively. It wasn't sex, which she presumably thought he was offerring before, and she had shown a keen interest in trying smoking, so with an uncertain nod, Nieme held out her hand, palm up. "I'm ready," she said after taking a deep breath. "What does it taste like? Does it burn?" "It's like this," he said, and then demonstrated the technique to her. "It tastes sort of like spices, like teskra root and cheil." He then held the cigarra out to her again. Nieme swallowed deeply as she hesitantly took the cigarra from between Kael's fingers. She stared at it, studying it for a moment, before gazing up at Kael for encouragement. She wanted desperately to prove to him that she wasn't merely a child, that she was a woman, one mature enough to smoke cigarras and talk to him about sex with. She wanted to be the woman Kael would want to be in love with. Following the end of the cigarra as it approached her lips, Nieme took a final deep breath. As the cigarra touched her lips, she looked to Kael to tell her what to do next. She puckered her lips as he directed and inhaled deeply. She pulled the cigarra from her lips and held her breath. Uncertainly, she looked to Kael for the next set of instructions, but before she could receive them, a burning arose in her chest and she coughed out the smoke furiously. She leaned over and surrendered to the fit of hacking coughs that seized her. With a look of disgust, she tossed the cigarra to the sands and stomped on it violently. "Gods..." Nieme coughed again to clear the lingering traces of smoke from her lungs, then looked up at Kael. "That was... Gods, that was horrible." Kael laughed softly as he watched her, his eyes showing nothing but his affection for her. "It's not for everyone," he said. "Are you alright? Did you want to go back for a drink? Or maybe a bite of the Hojet to get rid of the taste?" Nieme took a deep breath of dry, desert air and shook her head. "No. I'll be fine. The aftertaste isn't so bad, it was just..." Nieme shook her head again and shuddered upon remembering the sensation of being suffocated by a lungful of toxic smoke. "You do it so easily... It was...oh it was horrible, Kael. I think I'll like fighting better." "Well, you didn't quite have it exactly right," he said, and then explained where she'd gone wrong with inhaling off the cigarra. "I know it'd be hard to pick up again, but if you did want to try once more, we can sometime. And, maybe you'll like fighting, but it's not as enjoyable...at least as...much as other things." He put and arm around her and smiled. "Let's go on and get back." Nieme coughed again and nodded her head. Her traumatic encounter with the cigarra was quickly forgotten as she settled against Kael. Even through her clothing, she could feel the heat radiating from his hands. She sighed softly and snuggled closer to him. "I'll try again sometime. I want to get it right. You'll see, I'll do it." "I believe you will," Kael said. "And I'm certain you will. There is a determination about you that I think whatever you set your mind to, you'll accomplish." Kael smiled and without thinking turned and pressed his lips to the side of her head. Nieme closed her eyes and savoured Kael's fleeting kiss. She sighed wistfully and let her head fall onto Kael's shoulder as they walked. She knew, then, that what she felt for him was more than mere infatuation. "With you by my side, I can do anything, Kael," she whispered. "I'm so glad I found you...so very glad." "Me too," he said softly. He suddenly cursed himself as his thoughts went astray and he found the embarrassing situation from the morning returning in full force. Why did his desires have to flare now? And without any blankets to hide his condition. "Did I make you happy again?" Nieme asked quietly after opening her eyes and spotting the lump again. She looked up at him and smiled sweetly. "I'm good at making you happy, aren't I?" "You are very good at making me happy," Kael said with a laugh. "Beautifully good at it. And, maybe one of these days, we can talk about the whole making happy situation and such. I think I can tell you some of the stuff, but part of it you'd probably have to talk to Jae Dyn about." "Is there a lot to learn? I mean, it can't be hard to learn, right?" Nieme allowed herself a moment of boldness and wrapped her arms around Kael's waist. She looked up at him hesitantly to gauge his reaction, then looked down at the lump and knew he didn't mind. "I'm sure you can teach me everything, Kael. You know a lot about things like that, I presume." Nieme turned her nose into Kael's jacket and took a deep breath. She sighed deeply and looked up at him with a large smile. "I like how your jacket smells too...and your skin. It smelled nice when I..." Nieme turned away and laughed shyly. "It just smelled nice, that's all." Kael smiled and looked away. "Well, I'm yours to smell, Nieme," he said. "I'll teach you whatever you want, but we'll take it slowly." "Sounds like the both of us will be learning a lot very soon. Liam Zaneth and Jae Dyn Brael will be teaching us a lot and then you'll be teaching me about...things and I can teach you about the stars." Nieme smiled at Kael. "A fair trade, I think." "Definitely a fair trade," Kael said. He reached behind him and took her hands, and in a bold move brought them around to the front and then to his lips. "We should be getting back soon, but we still have some of your books to get." Nieme stared dumbfounded at her hands, which still tingled from the heat of Kael's lips. She nodded her head slowly and muttered, "Books... Yes, books." Nieme ran her fingers over the spot on one of her hands where Kael's lips had touched her. She smiled warmly and looked to Kael. "Did you...did you mean it this morning when you said I wasn't a child? I don't feel like...something other than a child, but if you think I'm not, then maybe I'm not. If you don't like children, I'd rather not be one." Kael looked into Nieme's eyes and shook his head. "You're not a child," he said. "You're...definitely not a child. A child wouldn't have...well, um...made me lumpy." He couldn't pull his gaze from hers, and without thinking found his face drawing closer to hers. As Kael's face approached, Nieme's instinctively began moving away. She knew what he wanted to do, and a part of her wanted it too, but her modesty overshadowed her desires and bade her to resist him. Nieme placed her trembling hands firmly on Kael's chest with the intention of pushing him away, but once his defined muscles moulded to her flesh from beneath his shirt, she found it impossible to pull away. Nieme sighed softly and closed her eyes, letting her desires have free rein. She found herself drawing nearer to Kael, and when her body gently pressed against his, she brought her arms timidly around his waist, waiting for the moment when his lips would touch hers. Just as their lips were about to touch, a laugh next to them broke the mood. Kael quickly pulled away and saw two of his former gangmates standing with blasters pointed at them. "Ferrig said we might find you out this way. And, by the looks of it about ready to get busy in the sand. Don't worry though, Kael; once we've killed you, we'll make sure to satisfy your woman. I bet she'd like real men anyway." Nieme moved partially behind Kael as her momentary desire was quashed by the fear the blasters aiming in their direction elicited. She clung desperately to Kael and tried to calm her breathing. "Kael," she whispered shakily. "I...I'm scared." One of the gangers moved forward and laughed. "Oh Kael," he cried with a laugh, "oh she's scared. You better protect her, Kael. Come on, Kael. You know how to make her right. Stick that dick of yours in her hot little pussy and she'll be all better. And, if you're not man enough, we'll do it for you." Kael growled under his breath and reached out for the blaster in the ganger's hand. Before his hand could move far enough, another blaster pressed into his ribs. "I wouldn't try that," a voice in his ear said. "Oh, she is a pretty little one, isn't she? I bet you'd like me to make a woman out of you, wouldn't you cooking girl? Ferrig reinstated the rape runs last night, you know. I want you to be my first, girlie. I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? I saw that hunger in your eyes for him, and I can see you have it for me too." Nieme whimpered piteously and edged away from the ganger and his scrutinizing gaze. She clenched her eyes shut and continued to clutch at Kael's jacket for comfort. "Y-You can't touch me," Nieme whispered fearfully. "Not unless I let you. You won't. You're not allowed." "Who says you have any say in this at all, little bitch?" the ganger rasped. "You're Feltrey property now, and you'll be the new gang toy. We'll all take our turns riding you until the sun comes up. You're ours, cooking girl!" "Bantha shit," Kael snapped. With reflexes that amazed even him, his hand shot out and swiped the blaster from one ganger and quickly leveled it at the other. They both seemed to be moving painfully slow. He fired the blaster three times, and the smoking ruin of the other blaster fell to the sand. Both gangers stared at him with astonished gazes. As if they shared a mind, both turned and ran as fast as they could across the sand. Kael dropped the blaster into the sand and then turned to Nieme. "They're gone," he whispered as he pulled her into his arms again. "We're safe now. No one's going to hurt you, Nieme." Nieme whimpered again and buried her face into Kael's chest. She sighed softly as her tension and fear suddenly fled in tow with the gangers. Her fingers still clutched tightly to Kael's jacket, and breathing deeply, she took in his scent and found comfort in being held protectively in his arms. "I wouldn't have let them have me, Kael," she whispered. "I don't want them to have me. I want... I don't want anyone but you, Kael." Kael kissed the top of her head as she clung to him. "You have me," he whispered softly. "And, I'll always keep you safe. No one will ever hurt you, not while I'm around." He closed his eyes as he held her, enjoying the warmth of her body against his despite the heat from the morning sun and the Hojet in the pack on his back. "And, I'll always be with you." Nieme nodded her head and tightened her hold on Kael. "The things they said... It was so frightening, Kael. Does...sex make you feel just as frightened? If so, I don't think I want you to teach me that." "When you're with someone you care for and want to be with, sex is very nice. When it's used like they use it, for power and control, it's designed to frighten. I never want to frighten you, Nieme. Sex is scary when it's new and unknown, but when shared it's a beautiful thing." "And you've shared it with someone you cared for?" Nieme nestled her face against Kael's neck and breathed heavily against his touch. "I...I've never cared for anyone...not like I c-care for you, Kael. And you could never frighten me. You make me feel safe." "Good," he said softly. "There was someone about four years ago who I did care for. At least, I liked her and she liked me, but it was nothing like what we've got. She left Thanatos about four years ago. It's funny because I haven't really thought of her in three years." As much as he wanted to get back, he didn't want to release Nieme from his embrace. "Let's go to your other place and get your other books, and then we can take the food back to Jae Dyn and Liam." "Yes, let's leave before those Feltreys gather their friends and come back for us." Nieme looked up at Kael and smiled. "No matter how brave you are, I don't think you'd be able to stop them all." With her eyes locked to Kael's, Nieme felt herself drawn towards him again. Feeling she'd lose her nerve if she continued staring into his eyes, Nieme clenched her own shut and closed the distance between their faces, only to have her lips missing the mark and making contact with his chin. Nieme stifled a nervous laugh as she opened her eyes and quickly pulled away. "Sorry," she said awkwardly. "I-I..." Nieme laughed again and looked away. Kael laughed and said, "We should get going." He held out a hand to her to take. Pressing a hand to one of her burning cheeks, Nieme placed the other in Kael's. She couldn't bring herself to look at him and smiled uncontrollably as they started away. From the corner of her eye, she managed to glance at Kael and whispered bashfully, "You taste good too." Kael laughed as he glanced to Nieme. With a gentle tug, he pulled her into his arms again. Before she could wriggle away, he gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. When he finally pulled his lips from hers, he smiled. "So do you." Nieme could scarcely catch her breath as she gazed up at Kael in pure astonishment. Her arms rested stiffly by her sides and her knees felt as if they would melt beneath her from the warmth spreading through her. She couldn't remember ever feeling anything so wonderful in all her life and she found herself sucking gently on her lower lip, savouring in the taste Kael left upon them. She took in a staggering breath and finally rested her cheek upon his chest. "That's what I meant to do," she said quietly. "Well, you did well for your first time," he said. "For someone with no experience with kissing and things, I think you're holding up really well. Though, if you'd like some practice, my lips are at your disposal." Nieme looked up at Kael, yearning to gain that practice he spoke of, but creeping up in her mind were fresh memories of their close encounter with the gangers. She clung to Kael tighter and looked down the street in case more Feltreys decided to finish what their friends started. "We should go, Kael. We really should go." Kael looked around and then nodded. "Yes," he said. "Let's go to your house first. We can get your books and then back to the secret place." He gave her a quick kiss, and then took her hand. They started off across the sand, careful to not lead anyone back to the house. "Together Always, Part 3" *** Nieme had stopped looking over her shoulder once they cleared gang territory, and with Kael's gentle hold on her, she didn't think anyone could harm her. They finally reached her home and Nieme didn't hesitate to let Kael enter. "I think there's only two boxes left. We can make it in one trip, I think." Kael nodded as they moved to where the boxes were set against one of the walls in the front room. He looked around the small home and smiled. "This place will be alright here without you, won't it? I'd hate to see someone else move in who didn't deserve it. And, it would be perfect for when one of us is back here to stay in...if that's okay with you, of course." "Hopefully we'll get to come back a lot. I think this place will always be the first home I've had." Nieme knelt down before one of the boxes and turned to Kael. "And you'll always be welcome here. Maybe you and I can come here together whenever we get a chance. I still can't believe we're leaving..." "It's...it's a very big step," he said. "And, maybe Liam and Jae Dyn will let us do a lot of our training here. We'll have to watch out for the Feltreys, but I think with our training they'll be a little hesitant to bother us. Especially if we get laser swords." He was quiet for a moment, and then smiled. "I want to see the forests and waterfalls with you." "We will, Kael. Very soon we will." Nieme watched Kael for a long moment, blushing as she remembered his lips touching hers. She laughed softly and looked away. "The...the temple is actually on the cliff overlooking the falls. It's very large - the temple, I mean. I didn't see the inside of it, because the dream ended, but it did look beautiful from the outside. It's strange, though. Every time I have the dream, it's only you, me, and Jae Dyn Brael and Liam Zaneth. Do you think we'll be the only students there?" Kael shrugged and sat down next to the box of books she was kneeling in front of. "It's possible," he said. "I guess it depends on if they find any others. I mean, it wouldn't be all that bad if we were the only ones. With just two of us, I think it'd be easier for us to sneak off places together." Nieme caught Kael's grin, and understood clearly what he imagined they would do while they retreated into the forest late at night. She began adjusting her books nervously and kept her eyes focused away from Kael. "Well...I think I'll try and dream about that tonight. Maybe the dream will tell me if there will be other students. Though, I think I wouldn't mind either if it was just you and I. I'm not one for making friends; I think you're the only friend I need, Kael." "If you don't meet any other friends, you'll still always have me," he said. "If the place is really big, it'll definitely be strange if we're the only ones there. I can't wait to find out what we're going to learn. And, maybe, once we're Jedi Knights, we can come back here and make Thanatos into the place we know it can be." "And the Feltreys wouldn't dare mess with us then." Nieme smiled and pushed to her feet, hefting the box up into her arms. "We'll come back, and when we do, we'll make everyone see how truly beautiful Thanatos is. Together, I think we can do it, Kael." Kael picked up the other box as he stood. "I know we can," he said. "Together, we're unstoppable. Shall we go back to our teachers and begin our lives as Jedi?" "If you wish, Master Selrid." Nieme laughed and moved along with Kael, glancing back for only a moment at the small hovel she'd considered a home for so long. In her heart, she knew she'd be back. When she would be was another matter entirely. *** Nieme and Kael managed to make their way back without any difficulties. The Feltreys weren't going out of their way to look for them, but Nieme knew they were lurking about. As long as she was with Kael though, she knew they couldn't get to her. They entered the dilapidated house, and after looking about for a moment, they realized Liam and Jae Dyn were nowhere in sight. "Could they still be sleeping?" Kael looked around, straining his ears to hear some sound made by Liam or Jae Dyn. He heard nothing. "It's possible," he said. "Come on, let's go see if they are." He led the way into the house and they each set their boxes with the others. Then, they quietly made their way upstairs. Once on the second floor, they looked around frowning. The blankets had all been folded and piled together, but there was no sign of either Jedi. Kael laughed softly. "Do you suppose they were kidnapped by fastidious maids?" Nieme held back a laugh and slapped Kael gently on the arm. "They might have gone looking for us. Do we wait for them here? The Hojet's going to get cold." "We should wait for them," Kael said. "Maybe we can eat our part of the Hojet now. At least ours won't be cold. My guess is they woke up and went to get the speeder." "You're probably right. We can have a small picnic of sorts." Nieme moved to their blankets and spread one across the floor. "So...how do you like Liam Zaneth, Kael? He seems nice and I like his colours, but he's a little too bright sometimes. I think that's just because he likes to hide things, and you can't see anything when he's all bright like that." "I guess he's alright," Kael said. "I haven't really talked to him much. He seems to know what he's doing, but stays quiet most of the time. I imagine he'll be a good teacher. I guess we'll see. Jae Dyn does seem to have everything together, though I wouldn't want to be on her bad side." Nieme frowned as she knelt down on the blanket. "You think she can be mean? I...I wouldn't want her to ever get mad at me. And...Liam Zaneth stays quiet because he's shy and he's not used to interacting with people. He used to be dark like you almost were and he killed a lot of people. I guess he's still sad about that." Kael nodded solemnly. "I know what he's feeling," he said quietly. "And, I don't think she'd be mean. I think she's just really good, and there's a cool collectedness about her. I don't think she could be mean if she wanted to; she's just too nice." Nieme smiled tightly and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. She didn't know what the sudden tightness in her throat or the wrenching in her stomach was, but it always came when Kael mentioned Jae Dyn or any other woman. She wanted to be the only woman on his mind, but then again, maybe she wasn't woman enough to hold his attention. "Um...the Hojet. We...we should eat," she said softly. Kael nodded and sat down on the blanket next to Nieme. "I've eaten at a lot of the restaurants around Thanatos, but none if it compares to your cooking. Everyone else always complained when I always wanted to go there. They didn't like how strict Orn was, and that I always kept them in line. But, your Hojet was always worth it." A smile escaped Nieme's lips despite her dejection. "I-I'd never seen you there before until that night I felt you come in. Were you...were you lying when you said you followed me because of my eyes? Was it just to keep me from screaming and running away?" "That night when we first talked was the first time I saw you," Kael said. "And, it was your eyes. We'd been there before, but you were always chained in the back. I think maybe that night was just our night." "I'm sorry I ran from you. I...I didn't know what you wanted." Nieme looked up at Kael and smiled. "But I'm not afraid anymore. I could never fear you again." Feeling the midday heat from the desert finally becoming too much, Nieme pulled off her cloak to reveal her tattered clothing, then set it aside. She looked down at her thin shirt, which appeared to have acquired some new holes, then gave Kael an embarrassed smile. "Hopefully they'll have some new clothes for us at the Temple. I would...I would feel a little awkward training in this." Kael smiled. "Maybe Liam and Jae Dyn would allow us to go into the city to do some shopping," he said. "We could probably both use some new clothes. Mine won't do me much good in a forest." He poked a finger at one of the holes in Nieme's shirt and smiled. "I imagine if you trained too hard in that, it would all just fall apart." Nieme took in an unsteady breath as she recovered from the excitement of briefly being touched by Kael. If it had been anyone else, she would have shrunk away, but with Kael, she realized she welcomed it. She looked down at where Kael's finger had touched her flesh and smiled. "I think I like this shirt alot," she said quietly. She gazed back up at Kael and her smile grew. "I like your clothes too. I...I think I do. I really like the jacket, I know that, and your shirt felt nice too...when I touched it." Nieme laughed nervously and turned her eyes back to her own shirt, staring dreamily at the holes that had invited Kael's touch. She really did like that shirt. Kael followed Nieme's eyes and smiled as he understood the look in them. "I like your shirt too," he said. "And, even if we get new clothes, I think you should keep it. As a memory of our life here." Tentatively, he reached out again to where her eyes were focused, and brushed the tips of his fingers through the hole in her shirt. Nieme sighed softly and felt a strange warmth suddenly coursing through her. She looked down at Kael's fingers dancing lightly across her flesh, then reached towards his arm and brushed her fingers along his hand. Her breathing grew heavy as tingling waves of a sensation she had never experienced before washed over her. Her breasts felt strangely heavy and tight as they pressed against her shirt, and she moaned softly as the tingling warmth suddenly travelled down to between her legs. She looked up into Kael's eyes, confused about the unfamiliar sensations he was evoking in her, but her gentle smile covered any trace of fear he might have identified in her eyes. Kael shifted himself closer to Nieme as he alternated his gaze between his hand and her eyes. Her skin was flushed and her breathing was heavier. He knew she was aroused and there was no way he could hide his own. He smiled gently at her as he leaned closer to her, and then gently brushed his lips against hers. Her head fell limply to her shoulder as Kael's kiss entranced her and enveloped her in the most excitement and pleasure she'd ever felt. Her lips gently parted and she sighed softly as Kael's mouth sealed around her own. Her arms rested loosely by her sides and her body seemed drawn towards Kael's by an unseen force intent upon heightening her pleasure by having Kael's entire body melded with hers. She had no idea if this was sex, but if it was, she was glad he was teaching it to her. Kael could feel his head spinning at the sensations generated from kissing Nieme. One hand continued to brush along the skin exposed through the holes in her shirt as the other wrapped around her and gently pulled her to him. As her lips parted, he probed with his tongue, gently seeking hers. Nieme gasped quietly and pulled her mouth away from Kael's. She gazed at him uncertainly and covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes drifted to the lump in Kael's pants and a sudden anxiety arose within her as she realized she was getting in way over her head. "What...what was that?" She removed her hand from her mouth and asked timidly, "Are we having sex, Kael? I...I don't think I'm ready for sex yet. Not yet, Kael." Kael shook his head. "No," he said. "I wouldn't push you into that without knowing. We were just kissing...and a little touching. When we have sex, it will mostly involve...well, um your breasts, and my...uh, lump, and your...um, between your legs. And, we'll usually be naked together." Nieme's eyes grew wide and she looked down at Kael's lump, then down between her own legs. "Th-That goes in there? Oh my..." Her breasts still felt tight against her shirt and with an embarrassed laugh, she crossed her arms over her chest. "I-I liked the kissing, but I wasn't sure what was happening. I...I got scared, that's all." She slowly raised her eyes to meet Kael's and laughed softly. "I liked how you touched me too. It felt...nice and I think it was making me happy too." "I liked touching you too," he said. "And, kissing you." He glanced down at his groin and laughed softly. "And, yes, it goes in there. Though, it does feel very good." "I-I still don't think I'm ready for that yet." Nieme continued breathing heavily and finally lowered her arms from her chest. She smiled at Kael and said shyly, "You can kiss me again if you want. And...and if you want, I can touch you back. Do...do you want me to touch you?" Kael smiled and then slowly nodded. "If you want to, I'd like that," he said softly. With that, he slid closer and reached out to brush his fingers over her cheek and then down to the holes in her shirt. He pressed his lips to hers, kissing her slowly. With his fingers touching her bare flesh again, the excitement within Nieme rose again. She parted her lips once more, but this time didn't shy away as she felt Kael's tongue slip into her mouth. She wasn't certain what to do with her own, but as Kael's slid along her tongue, she instinctively set hers into motion. As their tongues entwined, Nieme moaned gently and shifted closer to Kael. The heat radiating from his body burned her own and as she brought her hands to his waist, she could feel him burning more fiercely against her fingertips. Trepidly and uncertainly, Nieme moved one of her hands towards Kael's lap. She opened her eyes as they continued kissing and looked into his. If what she was doing was right, she wanted to know; if it was wrong, she would stop and would most likely run and hide. With ineptness, Nieme covered Kael's lump with her hand, and she gasped quietly at the surprising hardness pressing against her palm. She didn't know what to do and gazed into Kael's eyes for encouragement. Kael moaned as her hand pressed down into his groin. His eyes flashed with desire as they opened and gazed into hers. He pulled his lips from hers and smiled. "Your hands are beautiful," he whispered. "But, if you keep doing that, things are going to get a little messy." He kissed her again. "That feels very good, but I think it may be a little more than you want to do now." He kissed her again. "Unless you want to keep going?" Nieme looked down at her hand in Kael's lap and slowly pulled it away. "If you want me to stop, I will. I-I'm sorry." She gazed curiously at him and asked timidly, "Messy? I don't understand." Kael smiled. "I wish you would keep doing that," he said softly, "but, only if you want to keep doing it. That starts things getting more...sexual. When a man climaxes in sex, he sends out a liquid from his penis. And, if you keep touching me, I think I'm going to be sending out some of that liquid." Nieme's mouth hung agape as she gazed down at the lump. She'd never heard of anything so odd in all her life, but she'd never seen a penis before so she wasn't surprised that she knew nothing about them. She nodded her head slowly, then looked up at Kael. "Does this mean we can't kiss anymore? I...I like kissing you." "We can keep kissing," Kael said, and then to prove it, he kissed her deeply. "As long as you want to kiss, we can definitely kiss. And, we can touch too if you'd like. We can do whatever you feel comfortable doing, Nieme." "I don't think I'd mind if you wanted to touch me. Just...be gentle." Nieme boldly pressed her lips to Kael's and wrapped her arms around his neck. She moaned quietly as their bodies flattened against one another and her need began to rise again. She blindly brushed her hand against Kael's groin and gasped quietly as she felt the hardness press against her palm again. She'd never known such bliss in all her life, and if this truly wasn't sex, she knew she was looking forward to that just as much. Kael wrapped his arms around Nieme and pulled her to him as he returned her kisses. He moved from her lips to her throat and gently trailed kisses across the tender skin. Her body against his was like beautiful fire rippling across his skin and he felt his desire flaring like it'd never been before. He returned his lips to hers and knew he was headed somewhere very dangerous with a young woman who had no experience in this sort of thing. But, could he stop himself? As her hand brushed his erection, he moaned and knew that of all women, he needed Nieme. Her visions were right; they belonged together. Nieme's sight was blinded by the sudden desire she felt for Kael. She surprised herself in how daring she was being, and even more surprised when she pressed her hands to Kael's chest and pushed him back against the floor. Her kisses were needful and greedy; she'd never kissed anyone before and was quickly learning she enjoyed it. She moaned quietly as Kael's hardness now pressed against her stomach as she lay atop him. She knew this wasn't sex, but she did know it was very quickly becoming close to it. Kael's mind burned brightly, searing away any thoughts that he shouldn't go any farther with Nieme. She wasn't ready yet, part of his mind told him. She told you she's not ready yet. The part of his mind very aware of her lips on his or the hand that had been groping at his erection had other things to say. Her body fit his so perfectly. They were destined to be together, and this was just the first step. He brought his hands up and brushed them over her breasts pressed into his chest. He was glad his hands were busy touching her body, because if they'd been free to move of their own accord, he knew they'd be opening his pants right now. Nieme pulled her lips away quickly and gasped as she felt the warmth of Kael's hands permeating her breasts. She trembled at his touch and shrank away, but as she overcame the initial shock, she realized his touch was a welcome one. With a nervous smile, Nieme pressed her lips to Kael's again and felt the tingling between her legs rising quickly. She moaned again as her hips rubbed against Kael's, his hardness brushing against her. The tingling almost became painful as Kael's hardness rubbed repeatedly against her and his hands kneaded her swollen breasts. "Is this sex yet, Kael?" she asked breathlessly. "It's getting there," Kael whispered. "I'd have to be inside of you, my cock inside your pussy. This is just foreplay. People usually do it before sex to get them aroused. Lots of touching, and kissing, and licking, and sucking. This is very nice though. You're...beautiful. A beautiful young woman, Nieme. I won't do anything you don't want me to. Just say stop if you want, and we don't have to do anything more." Overcome again, he kissed her. He was ready to explode. Her body pressed against him was almost too much. Without realizing, he felt a hand brush over her mound. Nieme whimpered and pressed her hips forward against the hand caressing her mound. She didn't know such pleasure existed in life, but as the aches culminated into a sharp pain, she realized the pleasure didn't come without its torment. "It hurts, Kael," she whispered. "It feels good...but it still hurts so bad. Why?" Nieme moaned softly and kissed him again. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest and her body had become filled with a searing warmth. She wanted Kael's hands on her bare flesh and she wanted desperately for him to make the pain go away. "Your desire is so strong," Kael whispered, "and your need for release so great, that's what is painful." He knew the pain she was talking about since it was now straining against the fabric of his pants. With one hand still working at her mound through her pants, Kael's other hand slid under Nieme's shirt and brushed up across her bare stomach. On the sands outside, the sound of a fast approaching speeder could barely be heard, but neither Kael or Nieme could hear it over their own raging desires until it was right out front of the small house. As Kael's fingers pressed harder against her mound, Nieme yelped and bit down on his lip. "Sorry! I-I...it felt good but I was surprised." Nieme rested her forehead upon Kael's and sighed as his other hand spread a delicious warmth across her stomach. She felt her cheeks burning and heard herself whimpering at Kael's fingers amplifying the pain and desire she was feeling, but doing nothing to sate them. "I...I've never done this before, Kael. I'm so scared, but I can't stop myself." "We can stop if you don't want to do any more," Kael whispered. "If you don't want this yet, we can stop. We don't have to do anything else. We don't have to, but I want to be with you, Nieme. We don't have to do any more." Contrary to his words, Kael felt his hand slip beneath the waistband of her pants. He could feel her desire for him, and knew she could feel his. He knew he should stop, but couldn't hold himself back. The moment Kael's fingers began delving inside her, panic coursed through her, washing away any of the desire or pleasure he had elicited. Her moans became frightened whimpers and her mind reeled with a flurry of thoughts. She didn't want him to think she was a child, but she knew she couldn't bring herself to go any further. "Kael..." Nieme tried to wriggle away from his hand, but she tensed as her movements only brought his fingers deeper inside of her. "Please...stop," she whispered frantically. "Kael...I'm afraid. Please, stop!" It took a moment for Nieme's words to register in his mind, but as soon as they did, he pulled his hands away. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I went too far. I'm sorry, Nieme. I didn't mean to...I didn't want...I'm sorry. A loud bang from below caught their attention and Kael looked up at Nieme who still straddled him. Footsteps sounded on the stairs and they could hear them moving upwards. His eyes moved from the stairwell to Nieme. A new sense of panic erupted within her at the thought of Jae Dyn and Liam finding them there together. She quickly pushed off Kael and scrambled to put her cloak back on to cover her breasts, still protruding from her shirt. "I'm sorry, Kael," she whispered. As she realized how close they truly had come, Nieme's fears took hold again and she began sobbing quietly. "I...I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. I thought...I thought I could handle it but..." Nieme placed her face into her hands to muffle her sobs. She'd ruined everything all because she wasn't enough of a woman to handle the situation with Kael. Combined with the fear of Jae Dyn and Liam finding out what they'd been doing, Nieme only cried more piteously. Kael quickly moved to Nieme and pulled her into his arms. "No," he whispered softly. "Now just isn't the right time, that's all. It's a lot to happen like this. It's alright, Nieme. It's my fault, I pushed you too far, that's all." From the stairs, Jae Dyn watched them for a moment before speaking. "Is everything alright?" Jae Dyn's voice startled Nieme, who emitted a loud gasp and pulled quickly away from Kael. She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her cloak and looked down to the floor. "We're fine," she replied in a thick, quavering voice. "I...I was just...I was sad because I was thinking of Orn and...I was just sad." Jae Dyn watched them both for a moment, her gaze shifting back and forth between them, and then she nodded. "I understand," she said. "If you need someone to talk to, Nieme, just let me know. Sometimes it's comforting to have another woman's perspective." Nieme nodded her head as the tears continued to sting her eyes. She pushed herself to her feet and held her cloak tightly closed around her. She couldn't bear to look at Kael and see the disappointment in his eyes. She'd ruined any chance she had of being with him; he wouldn't want to be with a child, and that's what she knew she was. With a loud sob, Nieme rushed to the stairs, and pushing past Jae Dyn, she descended them unsteadily. She didn't know how she would ever face him again and as she jumped off the last step and headed towards the door, she knew she never could. Liam started forward as Nieme sped through the room and then out the door. He turned as Kael raced down the stairs after her and tried to say something, but the youth was intent on chasing after Nieme. Once both padawans had fled from the small house, he shook his head and went to the door. He laughed softly as he watched them running across the sand. "You sure this temple is still a good idea," Jae Dyn said from behind him. He turned back and chuckled. "Positive, though it won't be nearly as easy as I thought." "I think we interrupted something we shouldn't have." Liam raised an eyebrow. "Really?" "Though, I have a feeling things may have been too intense for Nieme before that happened though. Hopefully he'll catch her soon, I want to go home and see my baby." Liam chuckled. "I'm sure he'll catch her soon enough." "Together Always, Part 4" *** Running across sand was never easy, but Kael put all thoughts of that out of his mind as he lengthened his strides in an effort to catch the fleeing Nieme. He called out her name as he drew near. "I won't go without you!" The wind amplified the stinging in her eyes caused by the tears and muffled Kael's shouts. She could feel him behind her and his desperation was apparent in his emotions as well as his cries. The shame she felt, however, prevented her from ceasing her escape. She shook her head furiously and let out a loud cry at Kael to ward him off, but she didn't want him to go; she wanted him to take her into his arms and reassure her that he still cared for her and that she was more to him than just a friend. She knew, though, that Kael didn't want a friend, but he was a man and would never consider a child more than just a friend. "Nieme," Kael cried out. "Stop! I can't do this without you. I need you, Nieme!" "I can't!" Nieme shrieked. She took in a ragged breath, then broke into sobs again. "I...I can't face you, Kael! I've ruined everything!" Nieme's anguished cries grew louder as she hurried down the streets, kicking up sand behind her. She couldn't bear to look at Kael again knowing she'd destroyed any chance of them ever being together. "No you haven't," he called out as he stopped his frantic pursuit. "Nothing's ruined!" Nieme felt Kael's essence being distanced from her, and as it began fading away, she knew he'd finally given up on her. She slowed her sprint until she was at a halt amidst the whirling sands. Sobs still wracked her body, but she'd managed to regain control of her voice enough to speak intelligibly. "I...I'm ashamed, Kael! I'm naive and gullible and I don't know anything about being a woman! You won't want to be with me anymore, and I'm so embarrassed right now, I don't think I can even hold your gaze ever again." "Nieme, I want nothing more than to be with you," Kael said as he slowly walked toward her. "You have nothing to ashamed of. Nothing at all. I care for you very much, Nieme, and I don't care if you don't think you're woman enough for me...because I know you are." "You...you do?" Nieme turned around slowly, but she was only able to hold Kael's gaze for a moment before she looked to the sands below. "You're lying. You're just trying to calm me down," she said in hoarse whisper. "I couldn't even let you touch me without getting afraid. I don't want to be afraid of you, Kael!" "You let me do a lot of touching," Kael said softly, still moving closer. "It was just when I touched you down there, where you weren't ready for me to touch, that you got scared. It's alright, Nieme. Everything will be alright. And, I do care for you. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here right now." He was almost within reach of her, to be able to take her into his arms and let her know it was all okay. "The problem was...I liked when you touched me, but I didn't know what I was supposed to do." Nieme ran her sleeve across her nose and swallowed back her tears. "I thought you'd be angry because I couldn't do what you expected me to. I...I didn't know what was coming next, and I was afraid..." Nieme looked up at Kael and sobbed gently. "I was afraid you'd be disappointed in me and never want to see me again." "I know you don't know anything about all of this stuff," Kael said, his voice only for her. "I'm not disappointed, Nieme. I'm more disappointed in myself for pushing things so far so fast. I may be a little unfulfilled sexually, but I'm not angry at all. I have to keep reminding myself you don't know about these things, and that I need to teach you as we go." "You didn't push...I wanted it too, but I was liking what you were doing to me so much, I didn't even think that it might have been too much for me." Nieme pressed the sleeves of her cloak to her eyes and soaked up the tears that remained. "I...liked kissing you and being near you," she said softly, "and I knew I wanted more but..." Nieme slowly pulled her hands from her eyes and looked at Kael with a rueful smile. "I don't want you to leave without me. I...I want to be with you, Kael. Always. And...and I promise, I'll try and be better," she said quickly. "I-I'll try again if you want me to. I'll show you, Kael. I can be the woman you want. Just give me a chance. Please." Kael nodded slowly. "You have a chance, Nieme," he said with a smile. "You definitely have a chance." He closed the rest of the distance between them and took her into his arms. "If you want to, we can try again. This is about both of us, that's how relationships work." Once Kael's arms encircled her, Nieme sobbed quietly and clung tightly to his jacket. "I'm sorry, Kael. I really want to try again and make you happy. I...I want to be yours, Kael. You can teach me how to be the woman you want to be with. You'll be so proud of me, Kael." Kael kissed Nieme gently. "I already am," he said. "And, I want you to be the woman you want to be. But, I'll teach you everything you want to know, as much as I can and as much as you want." Nieme gave Kael a quavering smile, then hugged him tightly. "I want to know everything," she whispered emphatically. "And I want you to teach me, only you." Nieme nestled her face against his and gently kissed his neck and cheek. "I'm sorry I ran. I was so afraid you hated me. I'm so sorry, Kael. I don't want you to leave without me." "I would never leave with out you," Kael said. "And, I'll teach you. Though, there are some things that Jae Dyn may need to teach you. When we do make love, it will be beautiful, like two desert twisters merging in the sunrise. And, I'll teach you everything you want to know. And, when we do, you'll feel as beautiful and amazing as I think you are." He kissed her again and gazed into her eyes. "I want you to want this for you, Nieme. I promise you, you're not going to lose me if we don't rush to have sex. You have me, and I'm not going away. I want you to want to have sex with me, for us to make love, when you feel you're ready." "I thought I was today, but I wasn't." Nieme furrowed her brow and asked worriedly, "How will I ever know if I'm ready or not? I don't want to do that to you again, Kael." Nieme kissed him desperately and clutched his jacket tighter. "I don't ever want to be afraid of you again. How will I know? I...I'm so confused, Kael. I don't know anything about...it. Will you teach me? B-But not like today. I mean, tell me more about it. Will that work, maybe? Will that help me want it more?" "I think that will work," he said. "I don't know the answer about when is right, but I think you'll feel that you're not afraid to have sex. When you can no longer feel any fears or doubts about sharing yourself with me, then it's right. We'll figure it out together, Nieme. You and me, always together." "Always, Kael." She gave a relieved sigh and sank into Kael's arms again. "Thank you, Kael. I'm so glad I dreamed about you." Nieme gasped quietly and quickly looked at Kael. "Did Jae Dyn Brael get angry with you? Oh, I don't want you to be in trouble, Kael! I...I think she knew what happened. I could sense it in her. Did she get angry with you?" Kael laughed. "As soon as you ran, I did too. I didn't want you to get away. So, I guess we'll go back together and find out if she's mad. I don't think she will be. Not about what we were doing earlier. And, since we're coming back, I don't think she'll be mad about us leaving either. It's all going to be alright." Nieme nodded her head then rested it upon Kael's shoulder again. "I'm sorry I made you all lumpy then got scared. I'll only make you lumpy again if I know I'll be able to...you know. And if Jae Dyn Brael or Liam Zaneth gets mad, I'll tell them it wasn't your fault and that they shouldn't be mad at you because I'm not sad anymore." Nieme gazed up at Kael with an adoring smile. "I only want to make you happy, Kael. That's my goal now - to be with you and make you so very happy. Nothing else matters." Kael kissed Nieme, a difficult task given the smile splitting his face. "And, my goal is to make you happy and confident in yourself. Nothing else matters but us, Nieme. And, I happen to like doing the things with you that make me all lumpy. You want to stay out here together a little longer before we go back to Jae Dyn and Liam?" "Oh, I don't think they should leave us alone anymore," Nieme said shyly. She gently pulled away from Kael and looked to the floor, gently kicking the sand with her feet. "We have to leave now, Kael. We...we're going to our new home. But I'm not so sad about that any more because you'll be there and I'll be there..." Nieme gazed up at him with a soft smile. "Looks like we have everything we need." Kael looked at Nieme and gave her a melancholy smile. "Let's head back then," he said, "so we can begin our new lives. I imagine things will be very different from now on." Nieme slipped her arm around Kael's waist as they headed back and looked up at him inquisitively. "What do you mean 'different'? Better? I mean, you can keep being all bright like you are now and less dark. Won't that be good?" "Well, we'll be training to be Jedi Knights now," Kael said as he put his arm around Nieme. "I imagine that life will be very different from the lives we're used to. I think they'll be better though. And, I intend to definitely be bright from now on. And, it will be very good." "We'll still have time for eachother, though." Nieme rested her head upon Kael's chest as they walked. She looked up at him and frowned. "We will have time for eachother, right? We...we have to, Kael. I-I don't think I could get through my training without you." "I'm sure we'll have some time," Kael said. "For now we're the only students, so we have to be able to see each other. And, if they know we're friends, they'll let us spend time together. And, hopefully that we're more than friends won't be a problem." Nieme's mouth curled into a large smile and she hugged Kael even tighter. "I like being more than friends with you. Even though...well...even though we haven't done anything really yet." Nieme chewed her lip as she gazed up uncertainly at Kael. "Do...do you think I should ask... Well, Jae Dyn Brael has a baby and you said a girl can only get pregnant if a man..." Nieme swallowed back the uneasiness brought on by the subject, but after a calming breath, she continued. "She must know something about...s-sex. Should I maybe...ask her about it?" Kael smiled. "It might be good to talk to her," Kael said. "She has to know if she has a baby. I think she'd be the perfect person to talk to. Especially if we are going to...you know. If we're going to have sex, it'd be good to talk to her, especially about protection...so you don't have a baby yet." "Protection?" Nieme frowned again and shook her head slowly. "This sex thing is very complicated, it seems. I...I don't even know how babies are made. Fytha...she never told me that either." Nieme sighed deeply and rested her head upon Kael's chest again. "I think I have alot to learn, Kael. A very lot to learn." "It's not all that difficult," he said. "The most complicated part is making sure you don't have a baby if you don't want one yet." As they walked, he went on to explain how making babies worked as well as protecting against having one. At her prompting, he described the more technical aspects of having sex. "It's really a lot nicer than the description makes it out to be. And, it's very pleasurable, and you've felt only the beginning of it." "So...when your hand touched my..." Nieme took a deep breath and laughed softly. "That wasn't sex. It did feel...nice, but the fear I was feeling overshadowed any of the enjoyment I should have had. But no more of that. I know what to expect next time...sort of. I'll try not to be so scared anymore." "That part's just supposed to get you aroused enough for the sex to happen," Kael said. "If you do get scared, don't pretend you're not. If you do get scared or uncomfortable, please let me know. There's nothing wrong with stopping if it doesn't feel right. I want to make love to you, Nieme, but I want you to be completely okay with what we're doing. If there are any doubts, we should wait." "Then I think we should wait," Nieme said quietly. She looked up at Kael with an apologetic smile, then looked ahead to the house. "Should we tell them what happened or do we make it our secret?" "I have no intention of hiding my feelings for you," Kael said. "I don't think we should lie to them about what happened, so if they ask... But, I don't think we need to go out of our way to say anything." Nieme nodded her head and smiled gently at Kael as they neared the doorway. "I hope they won't be mad that we ran out. But...they ran out on us this morning so it's only fair! Right?" "Exactly," he said. "And, we brought them food back that they didn't even bother to be around for. If they're mad at us for running out, we can be mad back at them for making us waste food." "Right!" Nieme laughed as they walked through the doorway and saw Liam sitting on a crate across the room. Casually, Nieme slipped away from Kael's hold and stood apart from him with her arms folded over her chest. She looked to Kael uncertainly, then looked to the floor and said softly, "Liam Zaneth...h-how was your morning?" Liam looked up and saw the two wayward padawans standing in front of him as if everything was normal. He smiled. "My morning is going well, though I noticed the food upstairs was somewhat cold when we got here. I guess the real question is how was your morning?" "Yes," Jae Dyn said, descending the stairs, "that is a question that interests both of us. You fled out of here like a nerf being chased by rancors. Is everything alright now?" Nieme tugged at the frayed edge of her sleeve and kept her eyes focused on the ground. "Everything's fine... Like I said...I was just sad, that's all. B-But Kael helped me. I'm not sad anymore." "That's good," Jae Dyn said. "Then it's a very good thing Kael will be coming with us. Do the two of you have your things ready? We can leave as soon as you're ready to go." "Leave?" Nieme looked at Kael, wanting to reach out to him and take his hand into her own for comfort. They were truly leaving now and there would be no turning back from the path they now chose to tread upon. Gazing into Kael's smiling eyes, though, Nieme knew she would make it with him by her side. "I'm ready. How about you, Kael? Are you ready for this?" Kael turned to Nieme and smiled. "I'm ready. I think it's time to take this first step." He turned back to the two Jedi. "We're ready." "Good," Liam said, standing from his crate. "We've already placed everything in the speeder, so all we have to do is pile in. Unless you two wanted a moment in here to yourselves. One last look around the place...or whatever." Jae Dyn nodded. "We can wait out at the speeder if you'd like." Nieme glanced at Kael and turned away blushing upon remembrance of what they'd shared only a while ago in that same house. She smiled at Liam and shrugged her shoulders. "One last look around...I think that would be nice." Jae Dyn and Liam both shared a smile as they slipped outside. "We'll be at the speeder," he said. "Just a couple minutes though. We really need to get going before it gets too late." "Just a few minutes," Kael said as their mentors disappeared from view. As they walked back toward the steps together, Kael took Nieme's hand. "This is a very nice place. When we return, we'll have to stay here." "And I can tell you about the stars again." Nieme sat down on one of the crates acting as part of the staircase, then gently pulled Kael down beside her. She smiled at him and took a quick look around the room. "He didn't really leave us here to say goodbye to the house, did he?" Kael looked into her eyes and shook his head. "I think he wanted to give us another moment of just us before we're thrust into the lives of Jedi-in-training. But it is nice to be able to say goodbye to the house while we have a few minutes to ourselves." He leaned in close and kissed her softly. "We'll have to find a way to thank him for this time. I think they both know there's something going on between us. And, I think this may be their way of saying it's alright." "Do you think so?" Nieme asked with a bright smile. "If they are, we won't have to sneak away to be together." She laughed and wrapped her arms around Kael, holding him tightly. "You'll like the forest...we both will. It's going to be so exciting." Nieme brushed her lips against Kael's cheek while shifting closer to him. "We'll have all the time in the world to be together, Kael," she whispered. "Just you and I." Kael shifted his arms around Nieme and smiled as he looked into her eyes. He could see their future there. "I like the sound of that," he said. "I hope our rooms are close together. It'd make it easier to see each other. And, if we go for walks in the forest, if we come back, it'll be easier to take you to your room and have mine be close by, rather than having to walk across the temple." "I...I don't know if I'll be able to sleep without you in my arms, not after being in them and enjoying it so much." Nieme glanced up at Kael, then looked down into his groin and gave a laugh. "And I see that you enjoy being in my arms just as much." Kael laughed and looked up at her. "Very much indeed," he said. "And, if you want to sleep in my arms, then I cannot refuse you. From now on, we will sleep together, no matter how they arrange our rooms." He glanced down at his groin again. "Though, I'll have to try to keep that from happening too often." "It's ok," Nieme said timidly. "I don't mind. If only you knew how happy you make me...but I guess there really is no way for you to see that." She glanced down again at the lump in Kael's pants, then slowly up into his eyes. "Actually," she said slowly, "I think I do have a way of showing you." Boldly, Nieme cradled Kael's face in her hands and brought his head towards hers. She kissed him gently on the lips at first, then without a moment's hesitation, parted her lips and ran her tongue lightly along his mouth. Allowing her instincts to guide her, Nieme gently pried Kael's lips apart with her tongue and trepidly let it delve into his mouth in a deep, passionate kiss. There was a moment of surprise before Kael just allowed his body to react to Nieme's kiss. He responded passionately as their tongues twirled together. It felt like the kiss lasted forever, and each moment seemed to bring even more bliss. "That was...where'd you learn to kiss like that?" He smiled and then kissed her again. "We're going to have to stay in here until that thing goes away," he added with a glance to his groin. "I don't think I could walk now anyway, but going out there with an erection would be...I don't think they'd like that." Nieme looked down curiously at Kael's lump. "But...how long will that take? I think they're in a hurry." The blush in Nieme's cheeks darkened as she reminded herself she was the cause of Kael's present state; it gave her a sense of pride knowing she'd done so, for a mere child couldn't have induced such a response in a man like him. "Maybe someday, when I'm ready," Nieme whispered with her lips next to Kael's ear, "I can help make it go away. I really would like that." Kael moaned softly at the thought and then pulled her to him for a long kiss. "That's really not helping," he said with a laugh. "And, you're liking this aren't you. It'd serve you right if I just whipped it out and took care of it myself." Nieme gasped and shook her head quickly. "N-No! I didn't mean to, I swear, Kael!" She pulled away abruptly and shifted aside. "I'm sorry. I'll make you less...happy, if you want." She cocked her head to the side and stared up at Kael with a quizzical expression. "What do you mean by that? Taking care of it, I mean. You don't have..." Nieme looked down at the area between her legs, then back up at Kael with a bashful smile. "If you don't have one, how can you make it go away?" "There are other ways to make it happen," he said. "A guy can do it alone, by...well, he...well, it'd be like this. Pretend my erection is here." With only a slight blush, he demonstrated the technique to her. "Enough of that, and a guy'll...get messy. Girl's can do it too, to make themselves cum. And, there are other ways. A man can use his mouth on a woman, and she can use hers on him. Probably too much information for you now." Nieme nodded her head quickly and watched Kael with stupefication. She had no idea how little she really knew about sex and intergender relations. She did know, however, that it all sounded extremely pleasurable. "I-I think..." Nieme swallowed hard as she looked down in amazement at the lump again. She clenched her fists as her hands began moving involuntarily towards Kael with the intention of repeating the technique he'd just demonstrated for her, but she knew she wasn't that daring. "Oh my... We should probably go before I let you touch the hole in my shirt again." Kael took a deep breath and let it out. "Good idea," he said. He pulled his jacket around in front to cover him a little more and then smiled. "I think we're ready." With that they headed outside and Jae Dyn ushered them into the rear seats of the speeder while she and Liam took the forward seats. "Buckle yourselves in," she said. "Next stop is New Plouton." "The Beginnings of a Dream" Dreams. Gideon lay in his quarters on board his frieghter, the 'Morningstar', now called 'Tyr's Tear'. It had been over two and a half years since he started wandering from system to system trading whatever each planet needed, moving around without a home, save his ship. In that time he still didn't feel he needed to belong anywhere. He'd lost his life. He'd lost himself. Change was what he needed. A place to call home. Slowly though. The past didn't just erase itself... Dreams. Yes he planned to start one here in Tae'Karadan space. His last 'cargo run' had him dealing in delivering spice to the Ord Mandell system. To his suprise the person who took the goods, wanted him to deliver a special cargo for him. When it turned out the cargo consisted of two slave women bound for Hutt space, Gideon's response was a force pike blow to the abdomen and head. The Hutts. The Near-Human squeezed his bed sheets tightly. Someday he'd make sure they got what they desevered. Killers, thugs, tyrants. And to believe he thought them just mere buiseness dealers. How young and naive he was. Dreams. Sometimes they were more like nightmares. Shrugging the thoughts off, he started to fall asleep...only to be awoken by the sound of his droid's voice over the intercomm. "Galen, we are approaching the coordinatessssss to the Sssssstation." Already, he thought to himself, half awake now. "Ok, I'm coming. Prepare to drop out of hyperspace." Sliding out of bed, he slapped on his boots, and clasped the top to his crimson flightsuit. Walking over to his refresher unit, he splashed some cold water on his somewhat whiskered face. He needed to shave. Quickly he ran a small crystal over his face, and the hairs vanished almost immediately. He loved Mon Calamari technology. Even though they didn't have hair themselves, they were always thinking of others. Too bad the Empire had to blockade their homeworld though. Politics. Bah. To some he was a criminal in his own right for having a bounty on his head, and from having done some illegal smuggling, but Gideon was no killer or thief, or a 'real' criminal. He just bent a few trading rules, and earned the wrath of the cursed Hutts. Pulling on the bottom of his flightsuit's shirt, he took one last look at himself. This was it. Grabbing a grey cloak, he pulled it around him, leaving the hood down, as he headed to the cockpit. *** "Ah good to sssssssee you are up. I do apologize if I woke you sssssir." Ion was a Verpine manufactured driod. Hence his appearance was somewhat insectoid, and his speech in Basic was as well. Gideon never tried to reprogram him though. He thought the voice added character to Ion. He did however have his memory wiped of the whole Hutt affair and their adventures while smuggling for them. Just because Gideon had to live with it, didn't mean his friend had to. He did however promise to never have him wiped again. It was so...inhumane. Sitting down in the forward chair, he brought the navcomputer up. "It's no problem Ion. Alright, let's get started. Prepare to enter realspace on my mark..." Silence, if only for a short bit permeated the cockpit. "Now!" Ion with his usual demeanor, entered the squence of buttons with insect like perfection. The view in front of them changed from the twirling mass of blue and white that was hyperspace, to the blackness of space, and the stars that shined on, as the sublight engines kicked in. "Ssssssensors active Gideon. I'm reading the sssssstation at eighty-five thoussssssand kilometerssssssss away and closssssssing." The droid lookd at the communications panel for a moment. "The ssstation is requessssting identification." And so it begins. At least that's what Gideon was hoping for. "Activate the transponder, and give our ship's registery, and cargo manifest." The 'Tear' wasn't carrying any illicit cargo this time, just fresh produce and construction materials for the station. It had cost a lot, but he hoped to make a profit out here where they were hard to come by. "I'm getting a resssponssse sssir. We have permissssion to berth at level fifty five, and report for a cusssstomssss inssssspection before proceeding with trading." It was a good thing Ion didn't have much of a tone for anger in his voice. Inspections always stunk. That meant people, and even the droid knew how little his master prefered to keep contact with others to a minimum. But business was business, and it was legal. "Alright Ion, set her down, and I'll get the ship ready for our uninvited guests." Patting his droid companion on the shoulder, Gideon raised the hood on his cloak. Inspections...he wished those were just a dream. "Elisia Is Missing... Mysteries of the Past Come Back, Part 1" Elisia heard Kylas moving about and stretched lazily. She got out of the warm bed and pulled on clothes. She stepped out of the house as Kylas was approaching the steps. "You are up early." "Yeah, was getting some gas to take into the settlement." He smiled and walked up to her and gently kissed her. "How are you feeling this morning, love?" "Truthfully, a little queasy and I am still tired." She snuggled up against him. "Hmmm, maybe you should try and get some more sleep then, hun." He held her gently in his arms. Elisia wanted to go with him, but she truly wasn't feeling all that well. "Okay. I will clean up here and take a nap. How long will you be gone?" "Hmm, no, Love, I want you to rest. I'll clean up before I go." He smiled and lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. "You spoil me too much, you know that don't you?" she said with a smile. "I do not. I push you hard during your training, which is coming along." He smiled and brushed her bangs back from her face. "When will you be back?" she asked again, clasping his hand against her face with her own. "A few hours, no more. Maybe two at the outside." He smiled and leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Do you want me to stay?" He looked at her. He had an uneasy feeling. "What can happen in two hours?" she said with a laugh. "I will be good and stay in the house so not even those beasties will have a chance at me." "Alright, my love. I will be back as soon as I can. Try and get some rest; I don't want you or our child over exerted." He smiled and stood up. "Be back soon." Kylas looked around. He hoped she would be alright. He definately felt something wrong in the force, and it was close. He hopped into the speeder and moved off as fast as the old machine would move. He journeyed to the settlement and sold off the gas he had collected and bought his supplies. "Gifts of Vengeance, Part 1" *** Elisa felt her abdomen. She still couldn't really tell she was pregnant. Only the slightest tightening of her clothing gave evidence that she was increasing. Elisia finished cleaning the cabin and moved down to the pond. Kylas had gone to the trading village and she had stayed behind, promising to stay inside. She would just wash up real quick and then she would go back to the cabin to keep her promise. She had just finished redressing when she realized it was too quiet. The soft snapping of a twig ahead broke the sudden silence, but that was not the direction the attack came from. A man in brown and green jungle camouflage burst out of the treeline, a large blaster rifle in his hands. He moved with expert agility as he charged forward. His eyes were cold and emotionless. Elisia's saber was in her hand before she even thought about it. It sprang to life with a soft buzzing resonance. She deftly stepped backwards and to the left letting him charge past her. He quickly dropped to the ground and rolled. Halfway through, he twisted and came up, facing her again. He fired rapidly at the girl, spreading his shots to get past her lightsaber. As he did, he subvocalized new commands into his comlink. Elisia barely managed to deflect the shots. The hours of practice Kylas insisted on paid off. The calm command of reason he feared she would not have, was there. She eyed him with cool resolve saying nothing and positioning herself for him to fire again. She opened up her senses, trying to see if there were more of them. As her senses reached out into the forest around her, Elisia sensed others surrounding her. The man on the ground adjusted the settings on his blaster and smiled. When he pressed the firing stud again, a burst of bluish-white energy spat from the rifle, much too large to be deflected. Her blade sliced clean through it, but couldn't stop it before it pounded into her chest, knocking her from her feet and deep into unconsciousness. He stood slowly and approached the girl. She was alive and unconscious, as planned. He smiled and called his men down to take her too the ship. "His Lordship will really like this one. She puts up a much better fight than the last. Let's get out of here before her Jedi protector returns." ** Continued on Praeda 25 ** "Elisia Is Missing... Mysteries of the Past Come Back, Part 2" Location: Landros IV ***30 minutes later*** As Kylas was paying the shop keeper, he felt a cry and sharp pain in his head. He looked out the door and dropped a box of food on the counter and ran back to the speeder. He looked around the land. Nothing. He couldn't feel anything and all he felt was a cold empitness. He jumped out of his speeder. He ran into the house and looked around. He froze. Someone had taken her and his child. He pulled his lightsaber from his belt and dropped it and walked to the pantry. He was silent and looked at one of the shelves for a moment grabbed it and pulled it over with a loud resounding crash. He walked to the space the shelving unit once occupied and brushed dust and cobwebs from a panel on the wall. He opened it then tapped an almost forgotten code into the security lock behind the panel and watched as the wall slid back and revealed a staircase down. Kylas silently decended into the darkness... "Darkness, Vengence, Compassion and Patience. Death and Life Breed Balance to the Force, Not Technology" By: Kylas Thoamis Location: Landros IV *** Kylas emerged into the basement. He had kept this basement sealed for almost five years. Five long years he had been happy, and the better part of a year with Elisia. He never showed this to her. As it should have been, this place was one of darkness and evil in the time of Kylas' past. He had abandoned it all, the memories, the tools, and the trade. "Gods have mercy on my soul," he muttered and walked to across the dimly lit storage room and opened a locked door on the other side of the room. An old droid sat in the small cupboard, powered down and in recharge mode as it had sat for five years. Since that day, since the day Kylas had fully forced himself from the darkside. Now would he have to turn back to his past to save his future? He deactivated the charger system and the droid instantly sprang to life. "MK-957 at your assistance." He looked around. "Ah, good morning, Sir. You have need of my assistance?" "I need you to preform demination protocol seven. The master has need of you back at intel." Kylas was gambling but it was the only thing he could try and do now. "Forgive me, Sir, I have not received any such orders from the master. Your implant can not be deactivated without prior approval. I would need such an order from imperial Command or the Intel section 89. Without either to carry out your request would violate my program." "You don't have to deactivate, you can carry out the protocol by removing the implant." Kylas walked back into the basement. "And the you will prepare all equipment for a launch." "Forgive me sir, I do not understand the order. Such a procedure would kill you if you are sedated, and if not there is only a six percent chance of survival without sedative. You are asking a loyal droid to kill his only friend and owner. As the Master is dead, I cannot comply with such an order." "You will comply, or I can dismantle you here and now. The implant is a hindrance and I need it removed. I need to have that power back." Kylas turned. He was growing angry. "Sir, your power was not controlled before, that is why you needed the implant to bury that power so you could regain your control and allow you to diverge from the Darkside. Was that not the plan?" the droid spoke quietly. "The plan has changed," Kylas answered flatly. "Very well, sir. It has been honor," the droid replied. "I will require you to sit down at the very least." Kylas had only a moment to sit as the Droid approached him. A compartment in its chest opened. Kylas closed his eyes and started to meditate; perhaps letting the force flow through him would ease the pain. It did not. He felt the searing heat of a surgical laser cutting into the back of his head. He did not cry out. He didn't even have the chance to as the droid went to work cutting open his skull, and examining, poking and proding the soft mass of his brain. Kylas had lost consciousness, but he could feel the droid's probes and tool, like sharp knives through his very soul. He wanted to call out, to lash out, but his body didn't respond. In fact, his mind was starting to dim as well. Nothing but red, slowly fading into darkness. *** "Look how the mighty have fallen," a quiet voice was heard. Kylas' eyes fluttered open. "Wha..." He looked around. "Papa," a child's voice replied. "Get up boy." A loud boom and cracking of bones was felt as a massive fist impacted Kylas' ribs. "What are you, some kind of cry baby? You're gonna cry. 'Mama, mama, waaaaaaaahhhhh!' You're pathetic. How could something as weak as you be my eldest born?" Kylas' vision cleared. His father was drunk again. His side hurt so badly. He wanted to call out for his mother, but she lay nearby, a large pool of red lying around her. "You son of a bitch, answer me when I'm talking to you. You think your slut of a mother can help?" Again his father's balled fist came down on him, this time his face. "Papa, stop!" Kylas was afraid but also angry at his father for this. Each time his fist came down on Kylas, Kylas only grew more angry. He saw a shadow from the background. It moved. A cloaked figure stepped from the shadows. "What are you going to do boy? Let such a weak willed creature beat you? You are more than this." Kylas looked to the cloaked man. He wanted to call out for help. "Feel the anger in you child. You're the only one who can save you now, the only one who can save those whom you have failed." "You failed me, Kylas, you could have saved me, but you failed. You're a failure." His mother stirred and stood by the cloaked man. "You failed me." Another woman - much younger, with what looked like a blaster burn across her chest - appeared. "We could have escaped, we could have been together, but you held back. You always did and you failed me." Another woman stood from the shadows; she was familiar. "Elisia, help me," Kylas called out for her. "You failed me Kylas, you failed our child." She held her fattened stomach. "You should have been there to protect us." "When were you ever the son I wanted? You were always too weak. You failed me." His father stood back and joined them. "You were too slow to learn. You could have had it all and you failed." The man in the shadowed cloak spoke next. "You had that power and still do, but you're holding back. And look what it got you... Killed." The man laughed. His laughter was a darkness that chilled Kylas to the soul. He was afraid "All of this is a burden to you padawan." An elderly man dressed in white came from a light filtered window. He appeared from nowhere. "They say you have failed, but you did what you had to to maintain the balance." He looked at him. "Yes, Brother. You did the 'right thing', you always did. Hold back. If you didn't hold back you would never have saved the lives you did." Another dark cloaked man stepped in, this time from the light. "Brother, you can't blame yourself. You're a good man, Kylas Thoamis, you always were. Other people played you like a puppet." "But puppets are so obedient and nice. They always do what they're told, all Jedi do. They played by the rules of their own life." The princess stepped from the light. "He's a good boy. He can't break the rules anymore. He has to accept what has happened like he has in the past and move on. That's always been your way, the right way. The only way to go. Be at peace with yourself, Kylas. Find that peace in death that you couldn't find in life." She extended her hand to him. The dark cloaked man said, "Well, Boy, you could have peace or power. Join with me and I will give you that power which you seek; join me and an live." He extended his hand to Kylas. Kylas stood on shaky knees. The boy didn't know what to do. He didn't want to die, but he wanted to do the right thing. He always had. "Papa?" a quiet child's voice was heard behind him. Kylas turned and saw a young girl his age behind him. "Papa, I'm scared. You're gonna leave us? Why does everyone make your choice for you, papa? Why can't we make our own choices?" The girl's voice was soft, soothing, and very familiar. Kylas' body shook. "The choice is yours, papa." The girl smiled Kylas shut his eyes and shook his head. When he opened them, he saw everyone still waiting on him. "My choice is my own." His heart nearly stopped in his throat. "I am Kylas Thoamis. I am a Jedi Knight. I had nearly forgotten everything I am, but I am no puppet. I live not for power, but for peace. I do not need you to live..." his voice squeaked. "I do not need your absolution, or your forgiveness to find my peace. I do not need to prove myself, but I do not need to hold back anymore." His voice grew stronger. "I do not need my past, but I embrace it for my future. I have made my choice... I choose to live." His voice grew deeper, much more husky. The man that kneeled now where the boy had stood, wiped the blood from his nose. He stood and lifted his daughter into his arms. "I choose to live." He walked past all of them. He opened the door to his house and walked out. *** The sharp pain came back. He gasped for air, as if it had not come to him in days. His breathing was violent and his heart rate was through the roof. His eyes shot open and he could feel a blinding light then they adjusted and some kind of sheet had been draped over his head. He sat upright. "Where...where am I?" His head shot back and forth. "Sir?" The droid stood, astonished, nearby where he lay. "You're alive?" The droid instantly moved to his side and began scans. "Impossible! Your vital functions are all nominal. You were dead." The droid looked again at its scanner. "Nearly 3.2 hours." He checked the back of Kylas' head where it had operated. Gone... The wounds were gone. "This does not make sense." Kylas checked the back of his head. His hair was blood matted, but he felt no scars or cuts. He felt different inside as well, complete somehow and oddly at peace. He looked at one of the storage shelves nearby. He didn't even think on it for more than a split second and it catapulted across the room. He felt it, he felt it all. His body tingled with sensations he had never known before. "MK, access your imperial data logs. Get me everything you have on Tae'Karada, all of the old blackguard bases and installations through the sector, as well as all information on the former blackguard Niccum Thoamis. And also prepare the Peregrine for launch. I need a bath." Kylas stood up. The wound gone, he felt a dull throbbing through his body. "Okay not quite healed," he muttered and went to clean himself. *** 1 hour later*** Kylas walked back into the basement through another door. This room was larger. The soft blue lights had flared to life and gave a calming ease to the room. "All systems check out, sir. The information you have requested was retrieved. I took the liberty of contacting the Imperial commerce banking system and retrieved all of your off planet accounts and diverted the funding to you personal credit chip." The droid handed Kylas a credit chip. "As well, I have checked and rechecked all flight systems as well as weapon sytems and your personal equipment sir." "Thank you MK. Now I have a favor to ask of you. Remain here old friend. I contacted Pop's, that delightful merchant you enjoyed when we first arrived here on Landros. You're a free 'man' now MK. This house and its possesions are yours. You can also find employment anywhere in the settlement. Good Luck, old friend." Kylas extended his hand to the droid. The droid tilted its head to the side. "Free, sir? One has never been free before; one has never thought of this before. Thank you, sir." The droid shook Kylas' hand. "If there is ever anything..." Kylas raised his hand. "No, old friend, you have earned this is more ways than I can ever recall. It is I who owe you thanks. Good bye." "Good bye, sir." The droid hesitated for a second, and left the room in silence. Kylas walked to his weapons' locker. "Computer open door override lockout command, Kylas alpha one 775." The weapons' locker clicked and popped open. The clothes he saw before him were the clothes of a Sith, dark and heavy, loose fitted, yet easy and mobile to the wearer. He donned the dark robes, and equipped his belt. He pulled two lightsabers from the locker, double bladed were both, and he ignited them. The two weapons, both blades to each, hummed. The black light that shone through had a calming effect on Kylas. He moved and the sabers moved part of him. He had never been able to use both sabers like this before, but he felt at peace with them now. He attached the weapons to his belt. He went back to the locker and pulled two heavy blaster pistols from the locker. Holstered, he checked them and made sure they fired and attached the holsters to his side. Next Kylas pulled an old style shot gun, sawed off, from the locker checked it and grabbed his boxes of ammo from the locker, securing them in a hidden pocket in the cloak. He checked the locker and pulled a blaster rifle and grabbed a shoulder belt with fragment grenades and pulled all the energy cells and clips he had from their charger units and shut the charger units down, after securing all of his gear. He grabbed a set of sun glasses from the locker and put them on. He walked to the loading door of the Peregrine Falcon and fired up her engines. He opened the massive launch bay doors and saw the light above, ran the final launch checks and eased her up out of the launch bay. The ship eased up and out. Kylas took one last look at the home he had made for himself here. He said a silent prayer, and pulled from the atmosphere. "Tae'Karada, here I come," he said softly. "Upon Close Inspection" *** The boarding ramp opened with a hiss of gas and air pressure, and stopping with the dull thud of metal upon ferro-crete. Here goes nothing, Gideon thought to himself. Stepping down, fully encased in his clothing, and tapping his cane, the hooded near-human brought himself down, only to face...an Imperial customs agent. He hadn't received word they had a strong presence here. Of course his news was old. It always was. Arrogance and pride just reeked out of the blond-haired Imperial-bred customs agent. Behind him one security guard stood a silent vigil. With such a big station, Gideon guessed they could hardly afford to send everyone everywhere. That would have been good for him, had he wanted to smuggle anything, but he didn't come here to do that anymore. So maybe it was bad. "Your identification..." A look of slight disgust came upon the agent's face. He must have seen the violet eyes under the hood. Gideon enjoyed watching Imperials squirm under his appearance. Nodding, Tyr handed his 'revised' forms to the agent. He had a bounty on his head, even if it wasn't for anything illegal. If this Imperial found out about it, he looked like one who just might try and cash it in himself, or impound his ship for it. Patiently Gideon waited as the smug human entered a few items into his datapad. "Gideon Tyr, of the frieghter 'Morningstar'. You claim to be carrying station-grade repair parts, and fresh produce for this station..." The agent still wouldn't look directly into Gideon's eyes, as he continued, "Let's see if this is true, shall we?" Gideon knew it was more of an order than a request. "Follow me then." Quietly and with only the tapping of his cane/pike, he went up the ramp, being followed by the security and the customs agents. ***One hour later*** Satisfied, said Gideon to himself, satisfied he had completely annoyed the customs agent by having everything in order, and opening every single compartment that he had. Red in the face from not having found a thing wrong, the Imperial handed back the forms to the alien. Suprisingly his next words were quite pleasent, since he seemed to have said it a lot. "Alright. You're free to trade. A landing fee of thirty credits will be deducted from your account, with additional fees to be charged for longer stays. A maintenance team will be available for services." Finished, the man went tight lipped, and motioned for the security agent to follow him. No goodbyes or have a nice day. Gideon smiled. Another satisfied customer...or in this case, customs agent. Heading back into the Tear, he prepared to unload his cargo...and hopefully his past. "Shattered Lives, Part 1" and introducing: Dargus Kandran Location: Dargus' Secret Base & New Plouton, Tae'Karada A lone figure stood poised in the centre of the dimly lit room. He was clad only in a pair of black pants. He rested easily on the balls of his feet, waiting for his assailants to make their move. He held a staff of coherent light in his hands, ready to lash out and destroy all that came within its dangerous reach. The first attacker charged; a large shape, powerfully built, it was a droid designed for one purpose: combat. From behind him, the next charged. He swung the staff easily, its blades arcing around and aimed at the midsections of his attackers. The first was sliced clean through its middle, and the second lost an arm at its elbow joint. As the first started to fall, the third and fourth charged him. He let one hand fly free of his weapon and thrust it out toward the third. The mechanical opponent shuddered to a stop against the barrier he'd cast at it; a normal human would have been thrown across the room, but the thousand kilogram droid was merely stalled in place. With only one hand on his light staff, he swung it wide, careful to avoid injury to himself. The fourth charged into the blade, and erupted in a shower of sparks. The second raised its other arm with secondary weapon held ready. It was a large flail with an electric charge held in each of the spiked balls. It raised it high and prepared to bring it crashing down. He focused his will and sent a powerful kick into the droid's midsection, driving it back and then down onto the floor. He would not have tried that against the third, but number two was built lighter, faster. He pulled his blade from the still-sparking carcass of the fourth and swung it at number three. The droid's head toppled from its shoulders and bounced on the floor. As he shut down one of the blades and drove it into number two, still struggling to right itself, the first crashed to the floor in a heap. Not a bad workout, he thought with a smile. "Very good, my young apprentice," a voice from the darkness said. "You are learning well. You learn quickly, much quicker than past apprentices of mine." "Thank you, my master," he said, a low bow accompanying it to honour the man now standing before him. "These were an easy fight; I could have destroyed them just as easily before you began training me." The man nodded, his silver-white hair catching the light as he did. "Perhaps this is so, but your methods would have been more barbaric. I also believe it would have taken you an additional thirty seconds to dispatch all four." "Now my blade thirsts for vengeance--" "Patience, my apprentice," he said. "Your time will come. For now, we have other matters to attend to." "The girl is being brought to us now," he said. "She is the key to gaining our foothold on the planet." "And, the key to satisfying your lusts, I am certain. I will depart and leave you to deal with our new guest. Our agents have narrowed down the other girl's location. A team will have her shortly." He smiled. "Very good. I will attend to her when she arrives. For now, I will deal with our newcomer" -- he tilted his head as if straining to hear a distant voice --"who has just now arrived." "I leave you to your new tool," the shadowy figure said, and then turned toward the back exit. With a final look around his training room, he returned his lightsaber to his belt, and then left for his throne room. So different than it had been before. But, so much more effective than it had ever been previously. *** When she was pushed down the ramp of the ship, Maeren Shivral thought she was going to die. She was clad in only the shirt stolen from Zale's closet, and the environmentals wherever she was were turned far too low. She was shoved forward fighting to keep her head down as she'd been instructed. She felt ready to topple over each time the but of the rifle jabbed into her back. It didn't help that she was wearing binders that kept her from using her arms for balance. The corridor she was being marched through was dark except for a few scattered lighted globes. It finally came to an end in front of a large ornate door. She jumped when it suddenly rumbled and started sliding inward. Once it was open wide enough for her to pass through, she was pushed forward again. Finally, she was stopped at the edge of the light. "Maeren Shivral," said a voice from above her, seated on a large throne. "I've been waiting for this day for many months, and finally it is here." Shiv looked up onto the throne, squinting into the light. What she saw there nearly stopped her heart. It couldn't be-- There was no way he could have-- How had-- She felt her throat constrict and her stomach flutter. "You're dead." But there he was, sitting atop the throne and looking very much alive. She heard herself gasp again as he stood, looming over her. He smiled and took a step down, and she tried to step back, but found she couldn't move. He seemed to hold her there, with his gaze, with the power of his smile. "Dargus Kandran," she whispered. "It is I," he said, now standing directly in front of her. "And, you and I have some unfinished business to take care of." He wore only a pair of workout pants, and his chest still glistened from a recent activity. Shiv wanted to pull away, to run, but she couldn't make her legs work. She could only stare up into his eyes, feel her body reacting to the heat of his, so close. His first touch was like fire. She felt herself cringe as he deftly ripped the shirt she wore in two. The cool air of the room mixed with the heat of their nearness and brought a reaction he obviously thought desirable. "Perhaps a little thinner than when last we were together, but still quite attractive. Dare I say beautiful? Do you consider yourself a beautiful woman, Maeren? Did your friends down on the planet? And, how many of those friends did you let have this precious body of yours? You will soon realize that it belongs to me now. You are my slave, and will do all that I ask. For now, all I need from you is the use of your body to satisfy my many desires. You will give yourself willingly to me, and I will expose you to pleasure you've never dreamed of." "Please let me go," she whispered. Dargus shook his head. "That just won't do," he said with a sigh. "You must be much more pliant than that. You're far too willful. We can't have any more episodes like that in the garden. When I desire to be with you, then you will do all you can to please me in every way you know how to please a man. Is that understood?" Shiv's body trembled, and she tried to make her voice work, to plead with him to let her go. His hand suddenly brushed against one of her breasts and she gasped. She tried to pull away, but even though she could not move from him, he saw it in her eyes. He shook his head and then moved away from her. When he returned, he held a thick strip of leather in his hands. "This will help you to see things my way," he said. "Now, stand still." He wrapped it gently around her throat and then smiled. "There, that's not so bad is it?" Shiv was about to shake her head that it was not when she felt a sharp pain as something pierced her throat and injected itself into her body. She felt her anxiety heighten, fearing the worst at what he'd done to her. And, then the anxiety dissolved, and all that was left was intense desire and lust. She knew inside she was afraid, filled with a stark terror like she'd never been before. But in the midst of that she felt an overwhelming arousal. She could feel the heat within her own body and it scared her. He pressed his hands to her breasts again and she felt herself surge forward, trying to heighten the contact. She needed the pleasure he could give her. Her body was on fire, and her lust had built to an explosive level. A part of her mind raged, wanting to know what he'd done to her, but the rest just needed to bask in the ecstasy of his touch. "Please," she begged. He kissed her, and she responded willingly, needfully. She pressed her body to his, as if to merge with it. She fumbled with his pants, hoping she could get them open and sate her desires with him. In the distance that was the fog of her arousal, she heard him laughing, and noticed that he'd removed his pants for her. With an intense hunger, she pounced on him seeking to pleasure him and be pleasured in return. As she pushed him inside of her, a part of her mind realized it would like it here. And, the rest of her was disgusted. *** Date: Praeda 23, 4ABY The raindrops rolled slowly down the pane of glass in nature's reflection of the tears spilling from her own eyes. At least she wasn't alone in her grief and found it befitting of such a beautiful creature that all the world should weep for her loss. Her tears were, by far, the most bitter of them all; a lover's tears always were. Kaysa continued to gaze fixedly out the window, tracing the path every drop of rain made down the pane of glass, all disappearing as they became incorporated with the rest in the puddle that had formed on the sill outside. She was aware that her tears had created a puddle of their own in the empty glass she held loosely in her hand. It had been drained of its sweet nectar an hour ago, but she couldn't bring herself to refill it. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time in an hour that she'd shifted positions in her seat. Entranced by the tears falling from the weeping heavens, Kaysa felt too listless to move. No matter. Even the slightest movement would disrupt the thoughts drifting through her mind, and they were all she had now, all she had to cling to of the woman she had just realized she loved. They were sentiments too late to be voiced, for they would never reach the person they were meant for. Not a caress or a kiss, not a tender embrace would ever reach her again, and Kaysa blamed herself entirely. If she'd truly been the woman she had portrayed herself to be, her strength and courage would have given her the means to help Shiv, to save her. Through her shortcomings, though, she had lost another person she loved, and Shiv had become yet another casualty of Kaysa Zenarr's insecurities and cowardice. With another bitter sob, Kaysa let the glass fall to the ground and in the only move she'd made all hour, she lay down upon the couch and curled herself into a tight ball. That was how Merrick found her an hour later when he entered the apartment they shared. When he saw her, it took him a moment to realize she wasn't sleeping, and a moment after that he realized she'd been crying. He quickly moved to her, knowing the source of tears was probably in missing Shiv. "Kaysa," he whispered. "I'm here now. Come on; sit up and I'll hold you. More comfort that way." Kaysa's breath came in tremulous gasps as she focused only on the rain, not the torment she felt within. She shook her head slowly at Merrick's suggestion and curled up more tightly. "I...I don't think I could ever find comfort again. Not now...not after this," she whispered. Merrick sat down next to her, the concern clear on his face. "Not after what, Kaysa? What's wrong? What happened?" Kaysa shook her head furiously and buried her face into the pillow of the couch. Her sobs grew louder and she desperately wanted to be held by Merrick, to be comforted by him, but she knew she wasn't worthy of it. "She...she's gone, Merrick. For good... She's gone." The confusion that whirled through Merrick's mind felt like it was going to just whisk him away into nothingness. Deep inside, he felt that he knew what she was talking about, but didn't want to believe it. "Who's gone, Kaysa? No...it can't be her. Not now...not...she's safe. You sent her away and she's safe. She can't be... What happened? What happened to her, Kaysa? Please tell me what's going on this time." "Merrick, I'm so sorry," she whispered hoarsely. "I'm so sorry I did this to you...to her." Kaysa looked up at him with tear stained cheeks, then quickly wrapped her arms around him. "The other day...when Shiv didn't check in I...I sent some scouts to look for her, to follow the flight path she took and to make sure she got to Tatooine alright, but..." Kaysa's voice cut out as a sob spilled from her lips and the tears began anew. "She...she never got there, Merrick." Merrick could only stare at Kaysa's revelation. He tried to breathe, but couldn't. It felt like that first night he'd spent with Kaysa, when he'd been punched in the gut at Lath's Bar. "She never..." He stared dumbly into Kaysa's eyes as his brain tried to put sense to the situation. "She can't be. She's still alright. Shiv can't be hurt. Or missing. She's still out there, Kaysa. Maybe she just did that to make it seem like something happened. To dissuade those trying to hurt her. She's just playing a trick on them, that's all." "A trick?" Kaysa looked up at Merrick and shook her head slowly. "They found her ship, Merrick. It was there but she wasn't! It...it had sustained laser cannon fire and was just...just drifting through space. She's gone, Merrick. She's gone!" Merrick shook his head. "No," he said. "Not Shiv, not like that. She's a good pilot. She wouldn't let something like that happen. She's too good...she couldn't. Not like that. Oh gods, Kaysa, it can't be like that." He looked away as his chest felt like it was being constricted by his own emotions. "Not like this," he whispered. "She's gone, dammit! Even if she's still alive, we'll never find her!" Kaysa pushed away from Merrick and stumbled off the couch towards the window. She pressed her hands to the pane of glass and rested her forehead against it as she gazed out at the torrent of rain flashing across her eyes. "She's gone... She's gone and...and I don't think I can go on, Merrick." Merrick rose off of the couch and followed her. "We can't give up like that," he said. "At least we have each other. We have to go on for her, Kaysa. We have to go on for us. We have to." "No!" Kaysa spun around and glared at Merrick. "I won't. I don't deserve to get past this, Merrick. I...I did this to her, now I have to suffer for it. I want to suffer for this, Merrick! I made her go. It's all my fault!" "So," Merrick said with a nod. "You're going to lose me too? Let me go because she's gone now? Probably for the best." He stepped away from her, his legs faltering beneath him. As he neared the centre of the room on the way toward the bed they shared, he crumpled to the ground, legs no longer able to support his weight. He curled in on himself, silent sobs shaking his body as all his resolve to stay strong crumbled into dust. In one morning, he'd lost both his women. "Merrick," Kaysa called out softly. His sobs and the physical display of Merrick's hopelessness frightened Kaysa. She was the weak one, not him; his resolve couldn't falter now, not when he was the one person left to keep her grounded to reality and keep her from regressing again. With a startled gasp, Kaysa rushed to his side and dropped to her knees. She wrapped her arms tightly around his trembling form and whispered desperately into his ear. "Stop this, Merrick. Please...you can't do this. I don't want to lose myself again, Merrick. I need you to keep me from losing myself." As soon as she was close enough, Merrick's arms went around Kaysa. "She's still alive out there," he said. "She has to be. And, if she is, we'll find her. I'll hire the best people to find her. I'll do anything to get her back, Kaysa. For us. We need her. She was the light in our lives, and we have to have her. Our own light isn't enough to make up for losing her." "I know, Merrick. I hate to admit it, but I don't think we could be happy now if she's not here." Kaysa found Merrick's lips and kissed them tenderly. "We'll look for her, Merrick. We...we have to find her. I'm just afraid that we'll look and look, and we'll never find her. Knowing she really is gone will hurt more than not knowing." "I'll spend every credit I have if I have to," Merrick said as he held Kaysa close to him. "It's not important with her gone. We'll find her, Kaysa. And, we'll bring her back. And, whoever did this...they'll pay." Kaysa nodded her head and kissed Merrick gently. He was right, nothing was important without Shiv. She wanted to find her, but she knew she and Merrick would never find Shiv without delving into underworld connections, but her only link to that was Zale. It was unfortunate, however, that he was nothing to her now; his help was not the kind she needed. "Merrick... I love you. Tomorrow, we'll find a way." "I've heard of this guy who might be able to help," Merrick said. "He's some kind of crimelord, but maybe he has a way to help people like us. Especially for a price. If nothing else, he might be able to point us in the direction of people who can if he can't. Some of his men come into the club from time to time, and maybe if they're fans...just maybe he'll help us out. They call him The Hutt, but he doesn't sound like any Hutt I've ever heard of. But, maybe he can help. I know I've got the money...just have to find someone who will help us for it." "And then we'll be indebted to another nefarious crimelord. We already owe Zale..." Kaysa gritted her teeth and sighed sharply. "We owe him nothing," she muttered coldly. "This Hutt... As long as he can help us with no strings attached, then we should talk to him and see what he can do for us." "Well, if we pay him he shouldn't need any more than that," Merrick said. "He names his price, we pay it; and then we get our girl back. We'll find her, Kaysa. We'll find her and she'll come home safely to us. She has to." Realizing she and Merrick were nothing without Shiv was somewhat disheartening to Kaysa, but there was no denying the truth in it. She brought levity to their sometimes dark world and was always there with a smile on her face to brighten any mood. Kaysa suddenly wished she had a picture of Shiv she could cling to, one glimpse of the smile she'd fallen in love with. Vrax had taken that away from her and he would pay for it. Vrax... "Merrick," Kaysa said quickly. "I...I have to go somewhere. I just...I need to think about things and I just...a walk would be the best way to do that. Will you be okay here on your own?" Merrick nodded. "I'll be fine," he said. "I just wish you didn't keep so many secrets. But, I'll be fine." "I'm sorry, Merrick, but the secrets are meant for your protection." Kaysa cradled his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. "I love you and I don't want anything to happen to you too. Just trust me, Merrick." Kaysa smiled at him as she got to her feet and moved towards the door. She took up her coat from the closet by the door and turned back to Merrick as she slipped it on. "You'll wait for me here?" Merrick nodded as he followed her to the doorway. "I'll be here. Call me every half hour or so, so we both know each other is alright. I don't want you to be gone for a couple hours, and find myself worried sick about you." "I'll comm you, okay? But I won't be gone that long so you don't have to worry." Kaysa gave Merrick a reassuring smile and embraced him tenderly. "Don't worry...we'll make everything right again. At any cost." "We're going to do this, Kaysa," Merrick said. "And, I fear for anything or anyone that stands in our way." He held her tight, not wanting to let her go. Finally, after a kiss, he released her from his embrace and stepped back. "I'll see you soon." Kaysa nodded her head and left the apartment without another word. Her mind was on only the revenge she lusted after, the visions of her hands closing around Vrax's neck. He had been the source of her troubles since the day she met him, and for his evil deeds, he would pay with his life. The moral and legal ramifications didn't concern Kaysa. For once, she wasn't going to let her trepidations and cowardice hold her back; she would be the vindictive, ruthless woman she'd been trying to portray herself as for so long. After a quick trip down the lift and to the first floor of her apartment complex, Kaysa pulled the hood of her coat over her head and stepped out onto the water logged sidewalk outside. She didn't know how she would find him, but she would. Her bloodlust would lead her, and her hunger for reprisal would drive her to the depths of depravity from which she saw no hope of return. "Shattered Lives, Part 2" *** "Kill them." Startled eyes watched him, but he met all who stared dumbly at him with a stern gaze. "Are you sure you want to do that, Mr. Tregat?" "I said kill them," Zale snapped. "They made the mistake of siding with the Empire, and the price for that choice is death. I want that garrison turned into a smoking ruin, and any Imp forces you find are to be killed. No prisoners, no mercy." "Is it wise to take a move like this at this time, Zale," Moril asked. "With the current situation, the backlash could be--" "I know what the backlash could be," Zale said, glaring at his assistant. "I've calculated the risks, and they're within our normal tolerance level." Moril nodded. "Very well." "Have the assault team assembled outside of the Thanatos installation. We'll go in with skimmers before the moons rise. They'll never see us coming." He started toward the door. "Meeting's over. If you need me, use the comlink. I'll be out for a bit." Without a look back, Zale left his offices. He needed to get out of there before he hit someone. As he stormed through the streets of New Plouton, he realized he was heading toward Zenarr Inc. He hadn't seen Kaysa for several days and had a feeling that she wouldn't want to see him, not after the other day. But, he didn't care. She wanted to think he was just there to use women, using her like he was using the fantasy women she pictured him with. If the paranoid bitch couldn't see reality before her eyes, who was he to shatter her illusions. But, he did love her. With a growl, he continued on. *** The rain had soaked through her clothing, leaving her skin damp and cold. She shivered terribly as she sat in her desk, staring at the blank screen of her vidlink. She had contacts aplenty, but none could do for her what she needed done. The only person she knew who would kill for her was Vrax, but even he didn't love her enough to end his own life for her happiness. With a despondent sigh, Kaysa folded her arms atop her desk and rested her weary head upon them. She had always thought up such grand schemes, but in the end, they were only illusions of what she could have accomplished if she were a different woman...a stronger one. She felt the tears coming again and in her solitude, she did nothing to hold them back. There was no need to keep from exposing her weak interior to the outside world, for there was no one there to see it. She was as lost as Shiv was, but with all her money and connections, Kaysa still felt the more powerless. *** Zale stood outside the door of Kaysa's office for what felt like hours. In reality it had only been a few minutes, not quite enough for all the rainwater to drip from his body. With a resigned sigh, he pushed through the door. They would have to have the fight about the other day sometime. Now was as good a time as any. "Go away," Kaysa said quietly as the chime on the door sounded. "We're not open for business today. Come back...just go away." "I'm not here for business," Zale said. He stayed where he was, not venturing forward until he was better able to gauge her mood. "Has the Empire been leaving you alone?" The voice filling her office sent a chill that ran far deeper than the one her drenched clothing had caused. The loath and fury that had been quelled by her tears returned and all thoughts of killing Vrax were replaced with a yearning to do just that to Zale. Kaysa slowly raised her head, but her eyes remained fixed to the blank screen sitting on her desk. Seeing his face would enrage her even more than hearing the false concern expressed through his question. He'd come to gloat, that was all; he'd won the final round of the charade they'd been playing since the day they met. At least she couldn't have chosen a more worthy opponent to lose to. None of the tender moments they shared meant anything to her anymore, for all of them were deemed meaningless by his acts of malice and spite. All she could remember was Shiv's pitiful tears, her anguished cries as he attempted to punish her through the girl. Her rage diminished somewhat and the bitter sadness creeped up into her throat as she thought of her girl again, the one she would never see again. "You made her cry," Kaysa whispered. "You hurt her to hurt me...and you made her cry." Zale's eyes narrowed. "Shiv likes it rough," he said, the smile vanishing from his face. "And, she was just trying to get to you. She wanted to get you to let her in closer, and playing poor wounded victim is the best way to do it. It's her way. She's a beautiful girl, but she's still manipulative. She was just trying to make you feel sorry for her." With the first discernable emotion other than sadness or indifference she'd displayed in days, Kaysa flew from her seat in a rage and cracked her open palm across Zale's cheek. "You son of a bitch," she hissed. "How dare you talk about her like that. You don't even deserve to speak her name! You took her from me! She should have been smiling for me, instead she was crying and because of you!" Kaysa staggered backwards as the anguish hit her like a tumbling wave. "I'll never see her smile again, and you took that from me. I'll never forgive you for that," she said with a sob. "You've taken everything you're going to take from me. You'll not get anything more." Zale shook his head and stepped back. He brought a hand to his cheek to rub away the sting Kaysa's hand had put there. "What the fuck is wrong with you," he spat. "What the hell do you mean I've taken her from you? She left my apartment right after I did. I haven't done anything with her. She's yours just as she's always been." "No," Kaysa said in a cold whisper, "she's no one's now, not ever again." Her eyes deadened and hard, Kaysa stared blankly past Zale and started listlessly for the door. The rain would hide the tears that were pushing their way out now; the rain would be the perfect mask to hide her physical manifestations of weakness. Again, Zale's eyes narrowed and he took a step closer. "Look," he said. "I don't know what you're accusing me of, but I had no part in whatever fight you and Shiv had. Sure I was rough with her, but no more so than usual. She liked it...like she always does. If you pushed Shiv away again, that's your business, Kaysa. I've been trying to help, but you're losing it. I mentioned that my Imperial contact was a woman, and you turned into a paranoid, jealous bitch. You said I just took and used women, so I just gave you what you wanted to see with a willing accomplice." Kaysa stopped before the doorway and peered out as the water ran down the pane of frosted glass. She pressed her hand to the wall for support and spoke in a controlled whisper. "Hardly willing, but that has nothing to do with anything. Shiv and I didn't fight, Zale, although you would have been pleased to hear that, I'm sure. You like conflict, manipulating people and turning them against eachother, but it didn't work this time. No, Zale, you weren't the one to tear us apart this time. This cruel, unforgiving universe did." Kaysa held back a sob, but she knew she was in no emotional state to supress her agony for long. She flung open the door and rushed out onto the street. The moment the rain hit her face, she stopped and relished in the liberation it allowed her. She could cry freely and no one would know. Her sadness could be unleashed without forcing the pain deep down inside where it would only fester and make her more bitter for everything she'd lost. With a growl of frustration, Zale followed Kaysa out into the rain. "What happened then," he shouted. "You're blaming all this on me, but you won't tell me what the fuck happened." Kaysa spun around to face him again, sending sprays of water from her drenched hair. "What the hell do you care?! You were only using me, Shiv... For what? I don't know. Maybe it was just an amusing hobby to pass the time with while you plotted to take over New Plouton!" Kaysa covered her face with her hands and cleared her eyes of the stinging tears and rain. An erratic, uncontrolled laugh erupted from deep within her throat as she revealed her face again. "She's dead, Zale! You should feel lucky, you know; you were the last one to fuck her. The last one to stick your cock into her sweet, tight pussy." She gazed at Zale coldly as her hollow, uncontained laughter grew. "She's dead and the last memory I have is of her crying on my shoulder because you hurt her! You... I could have better protected her if you hadn't broken me, Zale. I should have...I should have protected her." Kaysa's voice cracked and her laughter became ragged as she dropped to her knees in the cold, murky water below. "Go ahead, Zale," she said thickly, "take what you want from me. You've taken the last moment of happiness Shiv and I could have shared...so now take me, Zale. Finish me off! It's what you've always wanted. You hunted your prey and now you've got her cornered. Finish her off, Zale." Her hands, curled into fists, came smashing down into the puddle pooled around her and upsurged a torrent of water to match her exploding despair. "Finish me you son of a bitch! Just end it and finish me." Zale reached down and hauled Kaysa to her feet by her arm. Without stopping to listen to her protests, he pulled her along back into the office and, once inside, pushed her ahead of him. "What do you mean she's dead," he said. "Get out of your clothes before you freeze. Who the fuck would want to kill Shiv? There was no reason to want to hurt that girl. Do you have any towels around this place? You can't just stand there all wet. Get out of your fucking clothes now, woman!" Kaysa visibly shivered and stared blankly at Zale. Freezing to death suddenly didn't sound like such a bad idea to Kaysa, so slowly shaking her head, she fought back fresh tears and with jerky movements headed for her chair. She wished for death now; it would add another to his conscience, if he had one left. Zale watched her for a moment and then shook his head in disgust. "Fine," he said. "Give up. That little, clueless girl who you could so easily manipulate is gone, so now there's no point going on anymore. Kaysa Zenarr doesn't have the strength or skill to manipulate anyone else, so now that the one person who willingly let herself be manipulated is gone, it's time to pack it all up and go home. Of course, the Imps will just think I had something to do with it...but, what's one more charge against the long list I'll be making against them." He turned away. "She was a very good young woman. She deserved more than this from you." "Shut up," Kaysa whispered as she stopped at the centre of her office. "You don't know what you're talking about, so just shut up." With sudden, frenzied motions, Kaysa grunted as she tugged at her sopping clothes. "Shut up!" she cried out between clenched teeth. She grunted again as she kicked off her pants and started on her shirt. The popping of buttons accompanied her shrieks and grunts while she tore it open. "You don't know anything!" She spun around and flung her heavily soaked shirt at Zale with another anguished cry. "What she deserved was to know I loved her! It's all she ever wanted and I couldn't do it because I let myself believe it was another sign of weakness." Kaysa stormed towards Zale and glared at him while the tears blurred her vision. "The only manipulation I subjected her to was leading her to believe I could never love her, but not telling her that I already did. That will haunt me forever, Zale." Zale stared at Kaysa, not sure what to do. The admission she'd made to him was startling, but it touched him in a way he didn't expect. The realization that Kaysa did love Shiv, that she wanted the girl more than she wanted him, burned him. She'd never shown any sign of caring for the girl; she'd gone out of her way to deceive. And, now she loved her was a blow that left Zale dazed. He didn't know what he wanted, but he knew he wanted Kaysa. When Kaysa didn't want Shiv it was alright. He knew he wouldn't lose her to the young nymph-like, free-spirited girl. But now, knowing that she'd loved the girl... He needed Kaysa back in his life. He'd driven her away, but now he needed her again. She couldn't have Shiv, she had to be his. He reached out and pulled her to him. He kissed her hoping to arouse some of the desire she felt for him, to bring out the passions that would allow them to heal their wounds. They needed healing now. The fire of their passion would burn the hurt away. If it had been any other time, Kaysa would have returned the kiss with just as much yearning and desire, but feeling anything resembling an emotion hurt far too much. Being dead to the world was her only escape from it. She couldn't bring herself even to be with Merrick; she shrank away from his touch and almost recoiled at the idea of being intimate. Were it not for her paralyzing hopelessness and sense of defeat, Kaysa knew she would be doing the same to Zale at that moment. When the kiss broke, she stared absently at the far wall, focusing on a slight mar in the paint. It should have been an insignificant triviality now, but the sight of it nagged at her and annoyed her to no end. "I should call someone in to paint the room again," she muttered distantly. "It could use a new coat...maybe a different colour..." "Grey is a nice colour," Zale said. "I think you should paint the office grey in honour of our merger. Soon fleets of our ships will be crossing the galaxy together, and we'll make so much money it will make the rest of the galaxy's elite seem to be paupers. Together we can conquer this galaxy, Kaysa. Me and you, and your love slave, Merrick. How does that sound?" Kaysa's brow furrowed in perplexity as she frowned. She slowly shifted her gaze towards Zale and tried to shrug free of his embrace. "I...I don't like gray," she said breathlessly. "I don't want ships... All my ships are...they're gone...been captured and seized." Kaysa wriggled from Zale's hold and backed away from him. She searched his eyes and said frantically, "I don't like gray, Zale! Yellow," she said with a smile. "We'll...we'll paint the room a golden yellow just like...like her hair when the sun used to hit it." She frowned again and shook her head slowly. "All the ships in the universe won't be enough to save her now...to save me..." Without warning, Zale stepped forward and slapped Kaysa. "Snap out of it, Kaysa," he said. "How do you know she's dead? Show me her body! If you can show me her body, I won't send out people to look for her. But, if you haven't seen her, I'll do everything I can to get her back. Everything." Kaysa blinked rapidly and gasped as if suddenly pulled from drowning out of a watery abyss. Her mind was no longer numbed by her attempts to make herself devoid of the pain she knew would seize her if she allowed herself to feel anything. She looked up at Zale with a startled gaze, then the tears began again. "Oh gods... Oh gods, Zale." Kaysa's body shook as her loud sobs filled the room. She wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to comfort herself with an embrace. "How...how could I think she was dead? Her ship...it was just floating... She can't be alive..." She looked up at him with a questioning gaze. "Could she?" "Sometimes pirates will take the crew of ships," Zale said as he moved to her and opened his arms for her. "If she's alive, we'll find her. And, if the ship was just floating, then that's a good indication that she's still alive. There's still hope, Kaysa. There's definitely still hope." Kaysa looked at Zale's outstretched arms leerily and half expected him to crush her with them if she accepted his embrace. The warmth her shivering form would have received from his body was temptation enough, but nothing was capable of wooing her now, not even charming, shrewd Zale Tregat. "Why?" she asked skeptically. "Why do you wanna find her? Huh? So you can rape her again? You think if you help me find her, I'll come to your bed?" Kaysa laughed derisively, then stopped suddenly and slapped Zale's hands away. "This...this is just another ploy meant to hurt me. Why do you wanna hurt me, Zale? Because I'm weak and you're strong and know you can? Y-You're just trying to raise my hopes so you can grind me down again and break me. Why are you doing this to me?" "If you weren't so damn paranoid, I wouldn't have hurt you," he growled. "You found out my contact was female, and all of a sudden in your mind there was some illicit affair going on. Just because I have dealings with a woman doesn't mean I'm fucking her." "What?" Kaysa asked incredulously. "What are you talking about? Don't you see, none of that matters anymore. Shiv is gone! I don't fucking care who you share your bed with now or ever. How...how can you bring up something so stupid and petty now? Shiv is missing and all you can think about is that?" Kaysa shook her head slowly at Zale and whispered, "Are you that cold?" "That was the problem that started this fucking mess," Zale said. "Fine. You don't want my help, find Shiv on your own." With a grumble, he started toward the door. "So that's why you came then," she called back quietly. "You came to make me feel guilty for wrongly accusing you, but seeing that I'm affected only by my grief, you turn your back." Kaysa laughed wryly. "If this is what being loved by you is like, then I don't think I need it right now, Zale." "Do you even want my help," Zale said. "I love you, Kaysa; but all that love has gotten me is accused of doing something I never did and pushed away. What does it matter if I love you or not? I know you'll never love me back." "How can I love you when all you do is cause me pain? I may have pushed, but you went too far." Kaysa moved to Zale and gazed up at him intently. "You raped her, Zale. Do you even realize that? Do you even realize the pain and suffering you're capable of inflicting upon others? Doesn't that frighten you?" "I'm a crimelord. My entire business is about hurting people." He looked away. "I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't mean to hurt her. It's just...I was just blind. I didn't know what I was doing. I...I took her...and I raped her... I didn't want that, but I was so upset...and she was there...and I wasn't thinking. It just happened." He turned completely away from Kaysa and tried to force back the guilt he felt over what he'd done. "The worst part of it all," Kaysa said gently as she took another step towards him, "is even then, she still cared for you. She was better than any of us ever could be even if we tried, Zale." She took a deep breath which was cut short as a sob made its way out. "I miss her. Nothing will ever be the same again. Nothing..." Zale turned toward Kaysa and frowned. "I'll help you find her," he said. "And, then after that, I'll just go away and leave you alone. I think I've hurt you enough that I at least owe it to you to give you some happiness in your life. You'll have that when we find her." "And...is that what you truly want, Zale? You'll just show up in my life, leave a mark I can never shed - not like paint over that scratch in my wall - then go away?" Kaysa laughed softly. "It's my fault, you know. I thought, with you, I could find the secret, the key to finding strength within myself. You were so strong, so implacable...and I hated you for it at the same time as I envied you. I figured if I could harness that strength for myself then maybe...maybe I could have brought my son home." Kaysa chewed her lip as she stirred up pain that had lain dormant for so long, but which always awakened upon mention of Keeve. "When I realized, after a time, that I would never be as strong as you, I guess...I got angry at myself and lashed out at you in turn. I so wanted to be invulnerable. I desperately needed to be, but... I'm not. I'm weak and because of that, Shiv's gone and I'll probably never gather the courage to take my son into my arms and--" Her voice cut out as the tears clouded her vision and the sobs seized her voice. Once again, her weakness prevented her from taking control of her emotions and once again she proved to herself that she never would be as strong as she endeavoured to be. That was to be her eternal curse. "I don't want to leave your life," Zale said. "I do love you, and I do want to be part of your life. But if I'm only going to cause you pain, or cause you to hurt the ones you love, then you're better off without me. I want to be with you, Kaysa; but not at the expense of losing you. I will take whatever role in your life as you wish me to, but I don't want to hurt you anymore." He swallowed and shook his head. "And, when we do find Shiv, I don't know if I'll even be able to face her after what I did." Kaysa, for the first time in days, felt a renewed sense of hope through Zale's words. With a trembling hand, she cradled Zale's cheek and forced a smile to overcome her trembling lips. "Perhaps when we do find her, you might surprise yourself." Holding his gaze for a long moment, Kaysa finally looked down, only to be startled by her naked, shivering body. She wrapped her arms around herself again, and rubbed her arms to circulate warm blood throughout her frigid body. She looked up at Zale again and felt the darkness of his eyes sending another chill through her, but beneath the black veneer, she sensed a pain she had overlooked before. "I'm not through with you yet, Zale," she said softly. "We didn't go through all we have to turn our backs on eachother now. I think we just need space...space to breathe and time to think and heal. It's the only way to fix this." "Space sounds good," Zale said. "Maybe we'll make it through this yet." He kissed her forehead and then stepped back to look into her eyes. "When we've found her, you have to promise me one thing. You'll tell her you love her." Kaysa looked almost fearfully at Zale for a moment, then nodded her head uncertainly. "I want to...I just don't know if I'm strong enough to, not like you." Her eyes faltered to the ground and she swallowed back the knot in her throat as she asked Zale quietly, "You'll find her, won't you? You'll do everything you can to find her?" Zale moved to take Kaysa into his arms and then stopped. "I'll do everything in my power to find her and bring her back to you," he said. "I'll put all my resources toward that task, and nothing else." "If...if you need credits, Merrick would be happy to provide you with them. He wants to hire his own contacts to search for her, but..." Kaysa shrugged and moved past Zale to grab her coat from the rack by the door. Slowly, she slipped it on and wrapped it tightly closed around her. "You've given me hope, Zale," she said gently. Her eyes flashed towards him and a soft smile graced her lips. "Thank you. I was sinking into the darkness, Zale, but you pulled me out. And I think you've pulled yourself out too. Thank you for coming here today. Find her and I'll be even more indebted to you." "No," he said with a smile. "If I find her, we're even. No more debts. When we find her, it'll be alright." "We'll...we'll find her," Kaysa added with little confidence in her tone or expression. "Just...it'll just take time." Her eyes wandered to the raindrops still sliding over the glass on the door, reminding her that her bouts of crying weren't over yet and wouldn't be until they found Shiv. "It's still raining," she said softly. "You'll get wet." "I'll be alright," Zale said. "I got here in the rain, I think I can make it back too. Are you going to be alright? Running around wearing just a coat and shoes...I think Shiv's wearing off on you." He smiled. "I think that's a very good thing." "I think she's affected me in many ways. I hope I can emulate her justly." Kaysa gazed up at Zale and stared into his eyes, which had softened considerably by now. "Keep in touch, Zale. I want to be informed if you find anything, anything at all, even if it means telling me she's..." Kaysa sighed and closed her eyes against the pain of that thought. "If she's dead, I wanna know immediately. I won't be able to handle it, but I need to know." Zale nodded. "I understand," he said. "As soon as I know anything, I'll get in touch with you. I'll have a team spaceborne within the hour, and they'll comb every square micrometer of space for the next twenty parsecs. If she's still out there, Kaysa; we'll find her." Kaysa opened her eyes and looked up at Zale with a rueful smile. "I won't be seeing you again for a long while, will I?" Zale smiled. "I hope I'll be seeing you very soon with some good news," he said. "I'll keep in touch, Kaysa. And, I'll only be as close as you want me to be." "Not too close, Zale," she said gently. "Not yet." Kaysa wrapped one arm around her waist to keep her coat closed, then cradled his face with her free hand. "We can't be together again, though. You realize that, don't you, Zale?" Zale nodded. "I understand," he said. "And, it's probably best that we try to keep a distance. I think when we're together we're really good, but we're also really bad. And, I don't want that to be the cause of your relationship with Shiv and Merrick failing. You love them, and they love you. I'll just be a friend from now on." "We tried that before, and it didn't work." Kaysa leaned forward and gently kissed Zale upon the cheek. "We'll have to try harder this time, which means no more equadi." "No more revealing attire for you or Shiv when you're around me," he said. "Though, I don't know if we'd ever get Shiv to go along with that. But, I don't think she's so much of a problem for me. And, I think if you and I can keep our distance, she'll keep hers too. She worships you." His references to Shiv in the present instilled more hope in Kaysa that she still lived and would be found, but it was still too painful to hear about her, to talk about her knowing words and memories were all she had of her right now. Kaysa wrapped her other arm around her waist and stepped away. "You should go now," she said quietly. "I need to be alone. And...I have to check in with Merrick or he'll be worried. I don't want him to be worried about me." Zale took another couple steps away and nodded. "If you need anything I can help with," he said, "let me know." He continued back toward the door, keeping his eyes on her. "When you're done with your time for you, make sure to give Merrick some time too. He doesn't deserve to be all alone through this. He needs to know you're still here for him." "Always so sensible, Zale," she commented as she took a seat in her chair. "I'll give him a good screw when I get home if that'll make you feel better." Kaysa smiled at Zale and laughed as he groped for the door handle while still keeping his eyes on her. "A little lower," she said, indicating the handle. "You're a strange man, Zale Tregat. I still don't understand you one bit." Zale laughed. "Well, sometimes I find myself hard to understand," he said. "I didn't mean to go have sex just to have sex. Just...just that you two are good together, and I wouldn't want to see grief over what's happened tear you apart. You two need to still be together when we find Shiv." "I won't let him go, Zale; I promise. This time and for once in my life, I'll fight passionately for what I want. I'm not letting him go again and I won't give up on Shiv either." With a sigh, Kaysa sat back in her chair and pointed to the commlink on her wrist. "You know the code. I hope to hear from you soon." "I hope you do too," he said. He paused for a moment, looking at her and then sighed. He turned and found the handle to open the door and pushed out into the rain. He would do everything he could to find Shiv, for Kaysa and to ease the pain that had become his conscience. He needed to do this, and then he needed to give Kaysa her life. She couldn't have the life she deserved with him around... He didn't think anyone could. "Shattered Lives, Part 3" *** Kaysa waited until the rain had eased up before setting out for home. The moment Zale left her office earlier, she'd contacted Merrick but couldn't bring herself to tell him she'd accepted Zale's help in finding Shiv. He'd been so adamant about using his own resources in finding her, that she didn't want him to think his efforts were unnecessary. He had to keep his mind on something and searching for Shiv would keep him from completely breaking down, like she had. Once inside, Kaysa was shuttled to the floor of their new apartment. They'd barely gotten settled in before Shiv was taken from them, and without her there, it seemed so cold and empty. She trudged along down the hallway, taking her time and trying to settle her emotions before she faced Merrick. She had to look level headed and centred for his sake; she had to be there for him or she would lose him too. The door slid open for her as she approached their room and once she walked through, she looked around for Merrick. If he was asleep, she didn't want to wake him, for in his sleep, he could dream about Shiv and be content again. It pained her to know he would never truly be happy again without her, but she'd always known she was a hard person to love and her love alone was not enough to make anyone feel fulfilled. Kaysa walked lightly across the room and passed the studio Shiv had set up for herself. Nothing had been touched since she left and Kaysa had been too emotionally unstable to even go near it before. But today, she needed something to remind her of Shiv, something that would comfort her more than just intangible memories of her. She wanted to hold something in her hand just as she'd once held Shiv. She needed to feel against her skin something that still held the essence of her dear love, but as she approached Shiv's easel, she almost broke down and started away again. On a large canvas propped against the easel, she stared at the reflection of herself. It was only finely sketched pencilled lines, but the smile and the eyes, the curvature of the face...they were hers, perfectly represented all by Shiv's graceful hands. Shiv was brilliant and had even managed to capture the air of sadness Kaysa knew she still exuded, but Shiv succeeded, even so, in making her look more radiant than she knew she was. Kaysa covered her mouth and took a step away. The room carried still Shiv's sweet scent. She used to love burying her nose into Shiv's hair and just taking her fragrance all up with a contented sigh. Everything about the room reminded her of Shiv and she found soon that the sadness had returned, potentiated by all she saw around her. She tried to back away out of the room, but she found her back against the wall and her legs quickly melting away beneath her. Her eyes clenched shut against the sights inflicting such torment upon her and the sobs came from her silently. If Shiv wasn't found, Kaysa knew it would be difficult to go on. She wouldn't be able to comfort Merrick and end up losing him too. In such a short time, she'd gained so much, but all of it was so close to slipping from her grasp again and she felt powerless to stop it. Merrick had heard Kaysa enter. He'd been staring at sheets of music for an hour, and Kaysa's return was just what he needed. When he finally found her, the sight of her sitting against a wall, tears streaming from her eyes, was too much for him. He approached slowly and then sank down next to her. "We'll find her," he whispered. "But at least I have you through this, Kaysa. If I didn't have you here with me, I don't think I could have gone on, not like this. At least if...if it's the worst, we'll still have each other. But, we will find her. She's still alive. I can feel her. She's going to come back to us." "I know," Kaysa replied with a sob. "I just miss her so much... I can't take much more of this, Merrick. I love you, but without her now, things are just so different." She rested her head against Merrick's chest as the tears burned her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. "She taught me so much about love, Merrick. She always gave hers so selflessly and unconditionally... Gods she was amazing." "When I fell in love with you," Merrick said, holding Kaysa to him and fearing letting go of her, "I never thought I could love another. But then I met her, and I fell in love. I didn't want to; I don't think she wanted to...but there's just something about her. I love her so much, and...and I need her back before I go insane. I love her..." Kaysa could identify with Merrick's emotions, but hearing his professions sent a pang of anguish through her. She'd admitted to herself Merrick couldn't be satisfied with just her love, but hearing him say it hurt far more than she expected. "We'll get her back," Kaysa whispered. "I don't want to lose you, Merrick, and I know if we don't find her, you and I will never make it. I mean look at us...we haven't been with each other for a week and I don't think I will be able to until she's back and by our side." Merrick slipped his arms around Kaysa. "And, we will have her back by our side," he said. "Until then, we'll find what strength we can in each other. I do know that my love for you is enough to keep me going. But, we're going to get her back, Kaysa. We will." Kaysa nuzzled her face into Merrick's neck and held him tightly. His verbal reassurances did nothing to comfort her. She'd already admitted to herself she was weak; Merrick would find no strength there which meant he would have to turn elsewhere for it and away from her. "Merrick..." She kissed his neck softly and slid her hands along his back. "I need to believe you, Merrick," she said desperately. She moved her kisses to his jaw and her hands to the tie holding her coat closed. "Make me believe you, make me believe we'll make it through this." Undoing her coat, Kaysa slipped gently from Merrick's arms and let it fall open. She'd left her soaked, torn clothing at her office and was now bared entirely for him. "Make love to me, Merrick," she said. "Make me believe." Merrick gazed up into Kaysa's eyes and felt the fire he'd thought gone out stir within him. He moved to her and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her passionately, his need for her flaring like the sun burning in the Thanatos sky. He forced himself to slow down, to ease his desperation. He let his hands explore her body as he explored her lips with his lips and tongue. He eased her gently back onto the floor and pulled off his shirt. He moved to her again, pulling his pants open with one hand while the other continued to touch and caress. He moved his lips to her breasts while he removed his pants completely. "I'll make you believe, Kaysa," he whispered. Kaysa gazed down at Merrick and nodded at him. She hoped a physical display of affection would dispell her fears, but didn't think even that could. She pulled her arms free of her coat, then buried her fingers into his hair while his lips moved across her breasts. Sobs were trembling her body gently, but she was determined to hold back the tears. Biting on her lip, she tried to find some part of herself reawakened by Merrick's touch, but nothing within her stirred. "Do it, Merrick," she said in a shaky whisper. "Please. I-I need this. I need to know..." Once freed of his clothing, Merrick did as Kaysa asked. He entered her and started a rhythm that would stir her desires if they could be stirred. They needed this. They needed this union to keep hold of themselves, to hold themselves to this place or be lost forever. Their union was desperation. Each sought to rekindle the desires they found with Shiv, the desires for each other they'd lost with Shiv's disappearance. All their hope lay in this joining, and they each knew it. Kaysa moaned softly as Merrick writhed against her, but she felt nothing more than a tingle between her legs. She desperately tried to feel some burning arousal, but her mind was far away from the act and drifting to Shiv, always to Shiv. Kaysa didn't want to be happy while Shiv was dead or suffering; she knew they needed this, but she could do nothing to heighten her desire for Merrick or intensify the gentle arousal that refused to grow. She kissed Merrick deeply, but even then her lips felt numb and the kiss lacked any tenderness. Kaysa groaned as she moved her hips with Merrick's, trying to find some physical part of herself that could be stimulated by Merrick and cause the rest of her to react with an invigorated passion. But her body was mirroring the emptiness in her heart and refused to feel anything. "Faster, Merrick," she said quickly. "Do something. Don't stop, please. We can do this." "Faster," Merrick said as he coaxed his body to respond to Kaysa's need. He knew he couldn't go much faster than he was already. He felt hot tears burning tracks down his cheeks as he continued to drive himself harder and faster into Kaysa. "Please tell me what I can do," he said as he gazed into her eyes. "Please, Kaysa. Please." Merrick's imploring gaze tormented her as he begged. He was as at a loss as she was to find some way to move past the sadness and allow themselves to be comforted by one another's carnal embrace. Kaysa closed her eyes as the salty tears stung her eyes and made her vision bleary. It kept her from seeing the despair in Merrick's face, and for that she was grateful. Her body went limp with defeat as Merrick drove himself into her. The only sensation arising from his actions was an ache where his cock banged violently against her insides; she felt none of the ecstasy or pleasure even his gentle caress of her cheek used to elicit in her. That she loved Merrick wasn't in doubt. She just couldn't be with him while Shiv was gone. The guilt in knowing she could have prevented all this quashed any other emotions that arose in her, as well as any longing or desire she had for Merrick. Kaysa shook her head slowly as Merrick pleaded again and again, asking her to guide him, to tell him what to do to make things work. She opened her eyes and looked upon Merrick with the sadness Shiv had captured so well in her picture. "Merrick," she said softly. "Merrick, stop. This isn't going to work. Just...just stop." Merrick slowed his thrusts, and then stopped altogether. He pulled out of her and rolled to the side. As he lay there, despair settling all around him, he put an arm over his eyes to blot out the world around him. He didn't know how they could make it now. Shiv had too firmly affixed herself in their lives, and now going on seemed pointless...and wrong. They couldn't continue without her, and he knew until she was back it would all feel empty. "I'm sorry," he whispered. Kaysa turned onto her side with her back to Merrick. She wrapped the coat she'd been laying atop around herself and closed her eyes. "I am too, Merrick." She sighed sadly and curled herself up into a tight ball. "I'll see about renting out my old apartment again if you want. I can be moved in by the end of tomorrow." "No!" He didn't expect the forcefulness of his reply, but the emotion was still very strong despite the despair. "Even if...even if what he had is gone now...I need you. I love you, Kaysa. If I can't even have you in my life...then there's no point. I still love you, and we have to see this through together. We have to. For Shiv." He took her hand in his. "What would Shiv say when we find her, and you've moved out? We have to stay together for when we get her back. And, because I still love you. It's just...it's just the grief is still too strong." "Merrick... I can't bear to be with you knowing I can't bring myself to touch you, to know that my body no longer burns with desire for you." Kaysa buried her face into her arm and wept quietly. "I love you so much, Merrick, that's why I can't understand why my body no longer responds to you like it used to. What's happening to me--to us, Merrick?" "We just found out that Shiv is missing," Merrick said. "If jumping into bed and having sex were easy for us right now, I'd be truly worried. We're grieving for our loss and hoping that we'll get her back. We're faced with a big, black unknown...and we're both afraid of the worst that could happen. Maybe we can try again in a few days, but we'll have to see how we're both holding up." "I don't know if I can do this, Merrick. I don't know if I can get through all this." Kaysa turned towards Merrick and wrapped her trembling arms around him. "I'm not strong enough, Merrick," she whispered. "I need her...you need her. Without her, I'm afraid we won't get through this. I'm gonna lose you again... Oh gods, I'm so afraid, Merrick." "We have to try," Merrick said. "We have to try to get through this. If...if you can't do this...with me, I'll go. I don't want to force you into this, but we have to try to make it. We have to." Kaysa nodded her head but that she continued to weep meant she was not in the least confident that they could make it through the times of struggle ahead. "I don't want you to go, Merrick. You know how much I love you and it would kill me if you left. It's killing me now knowing we can't even be intimate with each other when now, more than ever, we need to be close and comfort one another. I want to try, Merrick, but I don't know if I can do it." Merrick slipped his arms around Kaysa. "It's the first day we found that she's gone," he said. "Let's just give it a little bit of time. And, in that time, we'll put all of our efforts in finding Shiv. We'll get her back, Kaysa. And, then we can both show her how much we love her. We'll get her back, or I pity the person that did this. If they've harmed her in the least, I'll put every credit I've got into taking them down and making them pay." Kaysa sighed and looked up at Merrick gravely. "If we don't get her back, I think we'll have more things to deal with than tracking down her murderer. If we don't get her back, Merrick...I don't think anything will ever be the same. No matter how much I love her, I wish we'd never met her. We'll have nothing but heartache without her light in our lives." "We'll find her," Merrick said, his features hardening. "We will find Shiv, Kaysa. And, if we don't, then all my life will be worth after that is seeing that those who hurt her pay for what they did. I love you, Kaysa, more than I've ever loved anyone else. But, if we don't get Shiv back, I've lost more than just her. If Shiv doesn't come back, I've lost you too." The gravity of Merrick's words frightened Kaysa and only helped to reinforce her fears that they truly wouldn't survive if Shiv was never found. She pulled away from his now cold embrace and pushed herself to her feet. The severity of his threats gave her no comfort and only made the future for them look that much more grim. She couldn't afford to be around that much darkness, not when she herself was on the verge of losing herself to the demons again, the same ones that were so close to seizing Merrick. "I'll...I'll sleep on the couch tonight. You can have the bedroom," she said quietly. "I don't want to sleep alone," Merrick said, looking up at her. "Even if we can't be intimate now, I still want to sleep with you." A shiver ran through Kaysa as she gazed down at Merrick's cold, hardened eyes and she shook her head slowly. "No... I-I can't be with you when you're like this. You're lusting for blood, Merrick...and I can't be around such negativity right now. Can't you see I'm fragile? I don't want to lose myself again and seeing you like this is only tempting me to return to what I was. I'll be near, but I can't be that close right now, Merrick." "Fine," Merrick said, and shook his head angrily. He got up and started putting on his clothes. Once he was dressed, he looked at Kaysa and sighed. "I'll be at the club." "Of course," Kaysa replied gently. "Take as much time as you need, Merrick. Please try and calm down while you're there. Please." "I'll see what I can do," Merrick said as he looked at her. "Though, it's hard to lose both the women in your life in one day." He watched her for a moment, and then started out of the studio and off toward the door. Kaysa followed him out slowly and called out to him softly. "You haven't lost me, Merrick." She sighed and shook her head. "Just...just don't come home too late." Merrick turned back to Kaysa. "I'll only be an hour or so. I just want to see if I have any better luck with the music there. While you were gone, I tried...but it just didn't... I couldn't make anything work. I'll be calm when I come home, Kaysa. And, maybe we can just hold each other for awhile... I feel so helpless." "We are, Merrick...both of us. This entire situation is out of our control and all we can really do is sit and wait." Kaysa looked to the ground and smiled solemnly. "I would really like to do the waiting together, but until I can be certain being around you won't push me into the darkness I've been trying to escape, I don't think that would be a good idea." Merrick stared at her and then shook his head. "Fine. You've got my comm code...just call me when you think you feel like you can stand to be around me again." He turned and stormed toward the door, the pain of her rejection and the pain of losing Shiv growing into something bigger and more terrible than anything he'd ever felt before. He needed to get away. He needed a drink... "Merrick!" Kaysa followed him to the door, but stopped a distance away from him. "Please be careful, Merrick. I...I love you." The words sounded hesitant and her voice uncertain, but it was more her fears coming through than anything, although Merrick would interpret it as otherwise. *** The rain had started again, but Merrick didn't care. Once he was outside, he headed directly toward the White Noise. He'd probably stay on the fold-out bed in his dressing room tonight. Maybe he could get another apartment in the morning. And, after that, he'd go see The Hutt about finding Shiv. They had to find her. He had to get her back, so he could have Kaysa back. He needed them both, and as he rushed through the streets with rain pouring down and drenching him to the skin, he felt the pain of loss more acutely. He felt like he was drowning. Cast out into a great big sea with nothing to hold onto, and the waves surging over him. If he wasn't thrown a line soon, he would go under and never resurface. Shiv had to be saved so he could be. He wouldn't survive without her. Without her, everything that mattered in life was gone, especially Kaysa. As he got to the White Noise, with the knowledge that he would be staying there tonight, and not with Kaysa, he felt another wave surge up and threaten to drag him under. *** With a grunt, Dargus released into Maeren as she cried out. She clawed at the silken sheets of his bed, her body writhing with the pleasure he was giving her. He didn't so much care about her pleasure, but it sort of went hand in hand with his own. There were ways he could find pleasure with her body that she wouldn't find pleasurable as well, but he still needed her for other things. And, besides, her screams were definitely beautiful. He'd heard them frequently in the four days she had been his slave. He couldn't remember another woman he'd been with in his life who'd had a more beautiful scream during her climax than Maeren. Except for possibly Yelara. Yelara had screamed beautifully as well. And, in bed, she'd nearly been as voracious as Maeren. Though, he would soon have Yelara back. She would pay for her little crime against his life, and then she would be turned into a beautiful slave. The collar would look quite lovely on her as well. "You know, Maeren," Dargus said. "One of my previous lovers had the most beautiful tattoos on her body. I think you would look lovely with a tattoo. Perhaps on your hip, right there. Would you like that?" Maeren didn't look up at him as she tried to get her breath back. "If that is what you would like of me, then it would please me very much to have one." Dargus smiled. He liked how docile she was. He liked a little spirit in his women, but not to the point of defiance. "I'm going to give you to Vrax for the afternoon again," he said. "He seems to really like his time with you. This is his third afternoon." Maeren looked at Dargus with fear in her eyes. "Please not him," she said. "I would rather be with you. He's not gentle, and he hates me. He makes me...makes me entertain his squad." Dargus smiled and kissed her. "It's good for morale, Maeren," he said. "Now, come with me, it's time to mark you as my own." He pulled her from the bed and led the way down a long corridor. They entered a room on the left, and a pair of droids looked up at their approach. "I would like a brand placed here," he said, indicating the side of Maeren's throat. "And, then, I want you to put this design, here on her hip. It will be quite beautiful." Maeren nodded, and then gave him a smile. "I want to be beautiful for you," she said. "Am I beautiful?" "You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. And, you're about to become a whole lot more beautiful." When the prod touched her throat, Maeren screamed. Fortunately, the other droid was holding her in place so she couldn't injure herself by thrashing. The prod was removed and a compress soaked in bacta was pressed to where it had touched. The smell of burnt flesh filled the room and Dargus stepped back and wished he'd remembered a rebreather so he wouldn't have to smell that. At least the tattoo wouldn't stink. "Put her under, and then finish the tattoo. When she is well enough to entertain, have her taken to General Draydge." "Yes, Lord Kandran. It shall be done." With that, Dargus turned and left the room. He had other matters to attend to. *** When Shiv woke up, she was snuggled against a body. She smiled as just the touch against his back and the feel of his arms told her it was Dargus. A part of her mind cried out that there was nothing to be glad for, but she ignored that as she kissed the back of his neck. "Awake, Maeren," he said. "Good. Vrax and his men were quite thorough in their activities today. When my ship picked you up, you were exhausted. We cleaned you up, and now you're safe in my bed." She nodded. "Okay," she said. "I don't remember any of that, but I'm glad I'm here now." "Vrax says your skills at pleasing many men at once are improving. Perhaps I can acquire a few more slaves, and I can hold the party I've been hoping to hold for so long. I'm sure there are many men who would love to be attended by you." He kissed her. "Are you sore at all?" "A little," she said, "but I'm never too sore for you, Dargus." "Please," he said, kissing her again. "Call me, 'Master.'" "Yes, Master," Shiv said. With a feral grin, Dargus slid atop the girl. He was going to miss her when his little plan went into action, but he was definitely getting his use out of her now. He kissed the silvery scar on her throat, the mark that claimed her as his, and then thrust himself inside of her. Owning women was such a beautiful thing. As he started the long thrusts that would bring him a beautiful climax, he realized that he was definitely going to have to acquire more. "Jedi Temple: Arrival" *** As the speeder whizzed past the towering, imposing structures, Nieme knew they had finally completed their journey away from the desert. With Liam's abilities, they'd gotten through the border checkpoint without incident, disappointing Nieme bitterly. She would not have minded a bit if they'd been detained and forced to stay under the grueling heat of the sun until the situation was cleared up. The beautiful, radiant desert sun... The New Ploutonian sun was the same burning sphere, but its light seemed colder and less vibrant now. She shifted closer to Kael for warmth and for comfort as they delved deeper into the busy streets of New Plouton. Buildings were all around, sentinels peering down at them and giving Nieme the sense that even they knew she didn't belong. Everything about New Plouton was intimidating. The clothing the citizens wore were nothing like she'd seen before in Thanatos and she was taken aback at all the women walking around uninhibited and carefree in transparent gowns that revealed things Nieme was too modest to ever display to anyone, even to herself in front of a mirror. It seemed an entirely foreign place to her and it took some reminding to convince her that they were still on the same planet. She felt so disjointed from her surroundings, when in Thanatos, she truly felt like a Kir'Thanan - a creature of the sands, a being arisen from the very landscape that had nurtured her since her first breath. There was nothing comforting about this place and it made Nieme miss Thanatos that much more dearly. Kael looked out the windows of the speeder and frowned. Everything was so constructed and modern, and...different. He would have been more out of sorts without the comfort of Nieme pressed against him; the presence of another from his own and the woman he cared for...more than anything, helped put him at ease. He was glad Nieme had told him the temple was away from the city, out in a forest. A forest would be closer to his desert home. The only things rising up and towering above them were natural, made by the gods, not constructed monstrosities, put there by men. He put an arm around Nieme and held her to him. At least he had her with him. Without her, he didn't know if he could handle the novelty of the situation, or the difference of life here. He found himself blushing and looking away from the women as they walked on the street. In Thanatos, women would only dress like that in their own bedrooms. The nakedness all around him only seemed to amplify his own attraction to Nieme. The shock of the attire and lack of modesty was new and different, but he found himself stealing glances out the window and his thoughts began to try to put Nieme into one of the dresses. He looked away from the women on the street again and found himself blushing once more. "It's an interesting place," he said quietly. "It's frightening. I mean, those metal towers... What...what if one of them collapses! And...the women..." Nieme looked up worriedly at Kael. "I won't have to wear one of those, will I? Oh I don't think I could! It would be so terrifying." Kael shook his head. "Don't worry," he said. "I don't think you'll have to wear one. I mean, Jae Dyn doesn't. And, there's a few women out there not wearing them. We'll be in a forest though. We'll be safe there. The trees won't fall on us." He looked up at the buildings surrounding them and shuddered. "You can wear whatever you want, Nieme." He pressed his lips to her ear and added, "But I hope you'll wear that shirt you have on every once in awhile." Nieme giggled, at both Kael's comment and at his breath tickling her ear. She playfully pushed him away, but shrieked and jumped back into his arms as a speeder came roaring past them, far too close for comfort. She whimpered softly against Kael's chest and glanced back out the window to see if the raging beast was gone. "I really hope we get to the forest soon, Kael. There aren't any speeders there." Kael smiled, though his eyes still showed his concern for Nieme. "We're safe," he said. "Just...just a little longer." "We should be out of the city in about ten minutes," Liam said from the front seat. "We'll be at the Temple in another twenty-five minutes." Kael pulled Nieme tighter into his arms. He kissed the top of her head as she clung to him. "We'll be there soon. And, then we'll see our new home." "Oh, but I can already see it, Kael." Nieme sighed and closed her eyes as she rested against Kael's chest. "There are trees all around, but atop the cliff, where the temple sits, the canopy opens up and the sunlight just washes over it as if sent from the heavens. It's so peaceful and tranquil, Kael. I think it'll be just perfect." Kael smiled. He slipped his hand into Nieme's as they clung to each other and the speeder sped toward the edge of the city. "Completely perfect," he whispered. It wasn't long before they reached the edge of the city and kept on going. Soon, the speeder was surrounded on all sides by trees, rising up into the sky. Sunlight filtered through the branches, washing across the ground in a variety of patterns. It was a remarkable sight, especially to one who'd lived in the desert since birth. "Oh my..." was all Kael could find the words to say. Nieme failed to blink as she knelt by the window and stared out at the trees dominating the landscape and conquering the sky. They stretched vastly across the horizon, but as foreign as this mystical place was to her, she knew she'd visited it before. The sensations felt the same as in her dream and the essence of every tree and scurrying animal emanated in the vivid colours they had seared into her mind upon first seeing them. It was the place from her dreams, but seeing it truly with her own eyes made its beauty more tangible. "We're almost there," Nieme whispered. "I can feel it. I can hear it. Do you hear it, Kael? Do you hear them? I think they're as excited as we are." Kael, as he looked out the window from behind Nieme, chewed on his lip for a moment while he concentrated all his energy on listening. "I don't hear anything," he said. "What is it?" "It's them," Nieme said quietly as if speaking too loud would scare the voices away. "The ones who built the temple, or at least that's who I think they are. They're protecting it. I could hear them talking and praying, I think. They seem nice... I only hope they truly want us there." Kael frowned and leaned closer to the window. He looked up toward the sky and out into the trees. He still couldn't hear anything, and he wasn't quite certain of Nieme's sanity. But, with all the Force stuff, perhaps she was tuning into something he didn't have the power to. Or something like that. Kallia turned around to face the two in the back. "What you're feeling is the Force," she said to Nieme. "Those who built this temple dedicated their lives to this place, and now after their time in the world has expired, they have become one with the Force and they continue to protect it." Nieme looked at Jae Dyn with a curious frown. "But...do you think they want us there? I don't think I'd want them mad at us. That could be...scary." "If they didn't want us here," Jae Dyn said, "they would not allow us to be here. And, I think as long as our intentions are good, they will allow us to stay. They're the ones who gave Liam the vision of using this place as a Temple for training Jedi. It's a powerful place in the Force, and it won't allow those who don't walk in the light to enter. That and it's invisible to technological scans." "You have visions too, Liam Zaneth?" Nieme sat down again and leaned over the back of Liam's seat. "Did you hear them? There were so many of them. And...and did you feel it? They wouldn't let me in at first, but then they did. Do you think they'll let Kael in? He's not darkness now, but he used to be, almost. I do hope they'll let him in. I won't go without him." "I think it will be okay," Jae Dyn said. "The darkness in Kael has diminished, and his heart is true. They'll let him in." Without taking his eyes from their path, Liam grinned, and added: "They let me in. And, yes, I have had visions before. They instructed me to start the Temple and rebuild the Jedi." "But...how can you rebuild when it's just the four of us? Aren't there others?" Nieme gazed out the front window and narrowed her eyes to bring the distance into focus. Still, all she could see were trees in the background, but she could feel the temple nearing. "It's so big... We have to find more. The Temple is yearning to be filled with life. Kael and I can help. W-We can help you find others." Liam nodded. "I think we'll need your help," he said. "We'll have to find more, and those who can teach as well. The first thing we'll need to teach the two of you is to recognize those who also are strong in the Force. It shouldn't be too difficult to learn, especially for Nieme who already appears to have strength in sensing the Force." Nieme smiled almost proudly at the sound of approval in Liam's voice. She sat back in her seat and looked to Kael, her excitement still bubbling. "Well...Kael can help too. He'll learn fast if I help him." Kael smiled and then gave Nieme a nod. "Of course I will," he said. "I can't let you get too far ahead of me now. I have to prove to you I can do this...and to me too. We're in this together." "We all are," Nieme said as she shifted her eyes to Jae Dyn and then Liam. "We will start training as soon as we're settled in." Nieme laughed softly. "It's not as if we have alot to unpack. I think I'm wearing the only other outfit I own." "The two of you will need to probably get some new clothing," Jae Dyn said. "We can provide you with some money for shopping. Do you think the two of you would be able to manage a couple hours in the city?" Nieme looked to Kael almost fearfully, the image of the metal giants prominent in her mind. "I-I...I don't know. I think...if Kael's there I won't run away. I won't be afraid." Kael took Nieme's hand. "I'll be there and I won't leave your side the whole time. It'll give us a chance to see if these wetters can stock a store better than a Kir'Thanan. And, we can get you some new clothes. I think we'll need warmer clothes here, and maybe you can get things for the kitchen there. I bet the temple doesn't have all the ingredients for Hojet yet." "Oh! Can we, Liam Zaneth? We won't buy alot, just the essentials." Nieme looked to Kael with uncontained excitement, then leaned forward and poked her head through the gap between Jae Dyn and Liam's seats. "Just some things for the kitchen and an extra blanket or two. We won't overdo it. I promise." Liam laughed. "Of course," he said. "If you want me to help the two of you to make a list of things that we need, I'd be glad to. Unless you'd rather have the responsibility to yourselves. If you want, I can put you in charge of the kitchen...then you can go through and figure out what we're missing and buy it. I'll even let you select an assistant of your choosing." "Really?!" Nieme was enveloped with joy and realized only after she'd sat back in her seat with her reddening face that she'd kissed Liam excitedly on the cheek. "I-I think I'd like that very much," she said bashfully. She buried her face into Kael's arm to hide her embarrassment, but it did nothing to dampen her still buzzing joy. Kael chuckled softly as he ran a hand along Nieme's arm. "I think that means she'll take the part," he said. "And, the Temple will have better food than anywhere." Both Liam and Jae Dyn voiced their approval. But before anything else could be said, the speeder came around a corner, and up ahead was the Temple, stretching above them majestically. They could all feel its presence as if it were a tangible thing coalescing in the air around them. Without tearing her face from Kael's arm, Nieme whispered, "We're here." The voices sang in her head and beckoned her. Her mortification over kissing Liam was quickly supplanted by an exaltant tranquility that made her head light and her body feel weightless beneath her. She gripped Kael's hand as she slowly brought her face forward and opened her eyes. With a gasp, she cried out, "We're here! Oh, Kael...it's magnificent. Do you hear them singing? The trees are singing, Kael. Everything's...they're all singing." Kael moved close to Nieme and concentrated outside. He closed his eyes and focused his entire will on what was happening out there. And, then he heard it. It was almost like a whisper at first, but it rose in pitch and tone. It was like a song, a tremulous melody carried through the ground below them and in the air above. He could feel the life everywhere, outside the speeder and within. He felt his face melting into a smile, and he laughed. "I hear them," he said. "I hear them." Nieme gazed at Kael with a serene smile and she caressed his cheek lightly. "I knew you'd be able to. I knew you could hear them." She looked anxiously to Liam, but before she could receive his permission, she pushed open the door to the speeder and hopped out, pulling Kael along with her. "Oh the air it's so...it's so wet and clean. It even tastes different. Sweet! It tastes sweet. Oh, Kael, this place is wondrous!" Once outside of the speeder, Kael stared in open wonder at the world around him. In his wildest dreams he'd never pictured anything like what he was seeing with his own eyes. Everything was green and full of life. He could sense the moisture in the air and feel it seeping through his clothes. The air, it was sweet and he found himself taking in deep lungfuls of it. It was truly and completely amazing. "It's...it's beyond...beyond anything I've ever been able to imagine. I never knew that shade of green existed or that the ground under my feet could feel so...soft...and it doesn't shift when I move. It's amazing, Nieme." "Imagine, Kael. This place once looked just like Thanatos does now. Do you see? All along, we've been surrounded in unimaginable beauty. It's just yet to be manifested. But here...here, you can truly see the potential held in the sands of our home." Nieme looked at Kael with a radiant smile and beaming eyes. "It makes me love it only that much more." Kael glanced over to Nieme and smiled. "It's...can you imagine Thanatos looking like this? I wonder what it would take for that to happen. I wonder what we'd have to do to make it like this. We can do it, Nieme, me and you. There has to be a way, and we can do it. We have to." "It already is like this, Kael. We just have to find a way to unleash its hidden beauty. Together, I know we'll think of something." Nieme smiled and squeezed Kael's hand gently before setting her sights on the Temple again and starting towards it. "It's gleaming, and not just from the sunlight. It almost looks as if it's made purely of energy." Liam smiled. "Well, would the two of you like to go on inside?" Nieme nodded excitedly. "I would. I can't wait to see the kitchen. And we can see our room, Kael and maybe set up our things," she said to him quietly. Kael smiled and took Nieme's hand. "I hope so. And, then maybe we can go into the city and buy new clothes and things. And, maybe some stuff to make our room feel more...comfortable for us." Liam raised an eyebrow. "Your room? There's enough space in there for you to have a room to yourself. You don't have to share." Nieme paused and looked at Liam almost fearfully. "We...I mean...we know we don't have to but..." Nieme's breathing hastened as she looked to Kael for help. Despite the dramatic drop in temperature, she was suddenly as warm as if she were still in the desert. "With both of us so far from everything we're used to," Kael said, quickly coming to Nieme's rescue, "it'd be nice to share the space with someone we're familiar with. And, it's much colder here, so when we sleep the body heat will keep us from freezing." Liam nodded as Jae Dyn stepped up. "How about we put the two of you in rooms next to each other," she asked. "Or would you rather be together in the same room?" Nieme looked to the floor, smiling for a moment at the vibrant green grass tickling her sandaled feet. She felt Liam and Jae Dyn's eyes still on her, and swallowed back the tightness in her throat. "I...I guess..." Nieme's breath came shakily as her eyes fluttered up to Jae Dyn, then back to the ground again. "Whatever our Masters wish...Master Jae Dyn Brael." "Why don't we put the two of you in rooms next to each other," Jae Dyn said. "Actually, I know just the rooms for you. And, there's a shower and refresher that you both can use. How does that sound?" Nieme nodded quickly and took in a deep breath. "If you think that best, Master. I think Kael and I can brave the cold on our own. We're from the desert; we're bred strong. We can handle it." "Come on," Jae Dyn said as she started forward toward the entrance, "let's go show the two of you your rooms, and then we can do the rest of the tour, including the kitchen." Nieme's face lit up upon mention of the kitchen and with a renewed excitement, she took Kael's hand and tugged on his arm. "Come on, Kael. We have to figure out all the hiding places too. Our new home! Isn't it wonderful, Kael?" Kael had little option but to go forward with Nieme. "It's amazing," he said as they hurried behind Jae Dyn. Liam followed at the rear, making sure Nieme and Kael didn't go very far astray. Finally, Jae Dyn led them to a doorway. She opened it and led them inside. "This will be one of your rooms," she said. "The other, is accessible from the hallway, or through that doorway there. Your refresher's just on the other side of the hallway." "Refresher?" Nieme glanced at Kael, then back to Jae Dyn with a gaze filled purely with confusion. "Is that some sort of cold storage room? I think Orn used to have one of those in the restaurant but the food would rot too quickly so he didn't see any point in paying to keep it...well...cold." Jae Dyn smiled. "No," she said. "It's the place where you go to relieve yourself. Here, let me show you." She motioned for Nieme to follow her over across the hall and into the small chamber. Nieme shook her head quickly as a look of fear crossed her face. "I-I...I don't think I want to see that. I'll try it out for myself later, Master Jae Dyn Brael. There's really no need to...demonstrate for me...thank you." Jae Dyn laughed softly. "I'm not going to demonstrate," she said. "I'm just going to let you see the room. I tend to prefer that private things stay private, and that's one of the private things." "Oh." Nieme's entire body relaxed as she let out a relieved sigh and moved alongside Jae Dyn. She looked up at her with a smile, then turned back to Kael. "You get first pick of the rooms. That means the kitchen's mine." Kael laughed and pointed to the still-closed door. "I'll take the other one, you can have this one. And, the kitchen better be yours or we're going to starve." Jae Dyn led Nieme to the refresher and opened the door. "See?" "Oh...what is this place?" Nieme entered the room slowly, surveying the oddly shaped structures lining the walls and trying to figure what they could possibly be used for. "I've never seen anything like this before. This room is the size of my entire hovel alone! What are these things?" she asked as she pointed to the taps on the sink. "And that? And that thing over there. I think my training should start in here. I have to learn what all these things are." With a warm smile, Jae Dyn quickly explained the use of each of the fixtures in the refresher to Nieme. Finally she got to the one thing she imagined would send the girl's head spinning more than anything. Though, given her desert upbringing it made sense that it would be such a foreign concept to her. "This," she said, indicating the alcove recessed into the wall, "is the shower. Its primary purpose is to remove dirt and grime accumulated throughout the day. You stand in there, and the water comes out here. There's soap, and a small cloth for cleaning yourself. And, I'm sure the entire concept is as alien to you as a Mev'krien blade dancer." Staring warily at the recess in the wall Jae Dyn had described as the shower, Nieme approached it slowly and hesitantly. "Is it safe?" Nieme asked apprehensively. She poked her head into the stall, but was leery about going any further than that. "I've never seen anything like this. I have to go in here? Alone?" "It's completely safe," Jae Dyn said. "And, you will need to go in there, but the first few times, if you'd like, I can be near. I think it will be fine though. And, I think you and I are going to have to have a talk soon, especially with you and Kael getting so close." Nieme felt the familiar blush suffusing her cheeks upon mention of Kael. Slowly, she pulled herself from the entrance of the shower and faced Jae Dyn with her eyes planted on the tiled floor below. "I... Do we have to? Kael said he'd teach me about things and he said he'd show me too if I wanted. I know how babies are made and where everything...goes." Jae Dyn smiled. "Well, if you do have any questions, I'm available to you," she said. "Just don't rush into anything you're uncomfortable with. I don't think Kael would pressure you, but I don't want you to pressure yourself." She nodded slowly, then peered up at Jae Dyn . "Master Jae Dyn Brael?" Nieme took a deep breath and already her heart was racing at the thought of confiding in Jae Dyn - in anyone. She moved to the edge of the bathtub Jae Dyn had introduced her to, and sat down slowly. "I...I know Kael wants to be with me...in that way, but..." She pulled her cloak tightly closed and lowered her voice. "He...he touched me...down there, and then I got scared. I didn't want to be, but I was afraid. I shouldn't be, though...right?" "You don't need to be afraid of him touching you if you want him to," Jae Dyn said. "If you're uncomfortable with that sort of intimate contact, then it's okay to let him know that. And, it's okay to not be with him yet. But, if you do feel comfortable with that, then it's alright." She brought her hand to Nieme's cheek gently and smiled. "Perhaps tonight after your shopping, and I've visted with my girls, you and I can have a talk about boys and things. How does that sound?" Nieme found herself pressing her cheek to Jae Dyn's hand and closed her eyes as she surrendered to the comforting touch. Becoming aware of what she was doing, Nieme shrank away and turned her face from Jae Dyn. "I think...I would like that. I like Kael, but he knows more than I do and I want to know too so...so I won't make him think I'm just a child. Kael likes women...ones like you. I want to be a woman for him." Jae Dyn nodded. "Well, you should want to be a woman for you," she said. "Don't give yourself to Kael because that's what he wants, do it because it's what you both want. And, make sure that when you're giving yourself to him that he's giving himself to you." "I don't understand," Nieme said softly. "He says I make him very happy and he gets lumpy..." Nieme blushed again and chewed her lip to force back a smile. "I know I may not know alot about anything, but I want to be a woman and Kael wants me to be too...I think." Nieme took a deep breath and played with her fingers as she said nervously, "I think... I think if Kael wanted me to, if he asked me to...I would let him touch me again, with his...lump, if he wanted. I would be nervous and scared, but how else will I prove to him that I'm a woman?" She shook her head and laughed softly. "That's the only way, I think." "I think he already knows that you are," Jae Dyn said. "You don't need to have sex with him to prove to him you're a woman. If you don't feel comfortable with that, you shouldn't. I think he'll understand. I don't think he wants you to rush into this anymore than you do, regardless of what his body's telling him." "So I don't have to let him..." Nieme furrowed her brow as she searched for the phrase Kael had used with her. "I don't have to let him fill me with his seed to prove I'm a woman?" "You don't," Jae Dyn said with a smile. "Only if that's what you truly want to do." "I see..." Nieme stood up and looked at her feet as she paced slowly alongside the tub. "So...I should worry only about what I want and not what Kael wants. I should do only what I want to do and not do it because Kael wants to stick his penis in me." Nieme looked up at Jae Dyn with a rueful expression. "I think Kael should sleep in his own room tonight. And...I shouldn't let him touch me anymore." She nodded slowly and took a deep breath. "Thank you, Master Jae Dyn Brael. I understand completely. May I go visit the kitchen now?" "If that's what you want," Jae Dyn said. "Let's go see the kitchen, and then you can go do that shopping." She led the way out of the refresher and down toward the hall that would take them to the kitchen. As they neared the corner, Kael rushed out of the rooms and followed after. "Hey, where you going without me," he called. Nieme looked back at Kael, but quickly looked away again. "W-We're going to visit the kitchen," she said quietly. She glanced up at Jae Dyn, awaiting advice from her mentor on whether or not she should allow Kael to follow. "You...you don't have to come," she added as she shifted nearer to Jae Dyn. "It won't be very interesting." Kael raised an eyebrow at Nieme's comment. "Well, I want to come," he said. "I have to check over the place where my food will be made. Besides if we're going into the city, I should probably know what we're looking for too...just in case." He looked between the two women and frowned. "If you don't want me to come, just say so." "I-I do," Nieme said quickly as she turned towards Kael. "You can come...if you want." Her gaze faltered and she turned around again, staying close to Jae Dyn as they resumed walking. "Well," he said, as he fell in step with them, "I'm coming." "Jedi Temple: Tension Building" *** The rest of the way to the kitchen was eerily silent except for the sound of their feet on the stone floor. When Jae Dyn finally opened the door to the kitchen, they found themselves in a room that was larger than The Rhack. Kael's eyes were large with wonder as he took in the room. Jae Dyn turned her attention to Nieme, taking great delight in the reaction she could only expect from the girl. "This is...this is the kitchen?" Nieme stood in the doorway, reminding herself to breathe and keeping a hand on the doorframe to keep herself from stumbling. The range was gleaming and yearning to be put to use; the shelves lining the walls were filled with every spice imaginable, and some even Nieme didn't recognize. Drawn in like a magnet, Nieme took a step into the kitchen and immediately moved to the range. She ran her fingers over the smooth, cold metal and smiled at the reflection of her own awestruck face on the stovetop. "I'm almost afraid to even cook on it, it's so beautiful. This entire place...it's magical. And I can cook in here?" Jae Dyn nodded. "Of course you can," she said. "We've tried to stock it as well as possible, but I'm sure you'll find something you're used to using in your cooking that we don't have yet. But all of it is yours to use as you require. You are the master of this domain." Nieme laughed at that and turned around to face Jae Dyn. "Nieme Yaresh, master chef. I may never become a Jedi master, but master chef isn't so bad." She moved alongside the range, then studied the shelves lining the walls. "Is anyone hungry? I can't wait to cook again. I can cook us a meal, our first one in the Temple." Jae Dyn looked toward the door. "How about for dinner this evening," she said. "And, Liam and I can bring Yelara for a sampling of your culinary skills as well. That'll give the two of you time to get some new clothing and clean up, and gather the ingredients you need for making whatever you plan on making. Sound good?" "Me and Kael alone?" Nieme looked at Jae Dyn uncertainly, then turned her focus back to the spices on the shelf. "I mean...won't one of you be coming with us? We don't know our way around and...something could happen and... Are you sure, Master Jae Dyn Brael?" "Would you rather have one of us with you?" "I think it'll be easy enough to find our way," Kael said quickly. "They have maps and such, right? I think we can manage alone in the city. We need to learn to be responsible soon enough, and this will force us to be." Nieme was about to raise another protest, but she had nothing to say that would come out as anything more than incoherent ramblings. "I...I guess..." She shrugged her shoulders and faced Jae Dyn and Kael again. "We'll be safe. Kael's good at keeping people safe." Kael nodded. "We'll be fine," he said. "Good," Jae Dyn added. "Would you like to take a look around in here to see if we missed anything that you'd want? You can make a list to take with you." "A quick look around, but I already know what I want to make." Nieme rechecked the shelf before her and nodded as she mentally noted which spices she had and which she still needed. She moved to the refrigeration unit, which was almost as large as the refresher, and gawked at the amount of food it was already stocked with. She closed the door again and looked back at Jae Dyn. "All I really need is some Hojet. You have everything in here!" Nieme, in good spirits again, strolled back towards Jae Dyn and Kael with a smile. "Can we go now?" Jae Dyn smiled. "Of course," she said. "Let's go grab Liam, and we'll head in to the speeder. Why don't the two of you head out to the speeder, and Liam and I will meet you there." "Oh...okay." Nieme glanced at Kael, but she remembered Jae Dyn's advice and quickly looked away again. She scampered through the doorway and out of the kitchen, casting her eyes sideways to ensure Kael wasn't following too closely. She kept telling herself she wasn't supposed to let him touch her, but if he tried, she hoped she wouldn't be too frightened. Above all else, she didn't want to hurt Kael, nor did she want him to think she was a puerile, immature girl who wasn't fit to be his girlfriend. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle that if he did. Kael watched Nieme flee the room after a glance at him. He looked over at Jae Dyn and narrowed his eyes. "What did you--" He made a noise halfway between a hiss and a growl and turned toward the exit. "Nevermind." With that, he fled after Nieme, finally catching her once she was at the speeder. He stood next to her for a moment before speaking. "Is everything alright, Nieme?" "Yes...everything's fine." Nieme kicked at the soil beneath her feet and picked at the tattered edge of her sleeve. "Is...is everything okay with you? Did you have a nice talk with Liam Zaneth?" Kael shrugged. "We didn't say much," he said. "I guess everything is fine." He shook his head and then moved away from the speeder toward some of the trees. "Everything's just great." Nieme could feel from Kael's tone and feel from the emotions he was exuding that his words weren't genuine. She watched Kael picking leaves off the trees and throwing them to the ground aggressively. "You're lying. You're mad - at me. Aren't you? You're mad because..." Nieme shook her head and opened the door of the speeder. "It's cold out here. I'll be in the speeder." Kael only shrugged. She accused him of lying, but thought nothing wrong with lying to him. He wished he had some idea what Jae Dyn had said to her that now all of a sudden she didn't even want to stand near him. He threw down one last leaf and turned back to the speeder. He moved to it, taking deep breaths to calm himself. Something was wrong; he just had to find out what it was. He opened the hatch and slid in beside Nieme. He hid his smile as he moved closer to her, decreasing the distance between them until they nearly touched. Nieme pulled back and gazed at Kael almost fearfully. "W-What are you doing?" She tried to slide away from him, but she was already pressed firmly against the door of the speeder and had no more room to move. She lowered her head, but kept her eyes focused on Kael in the periphery. "I don't think... What if they come? They'll s-see you." "They didn't seem to have any problem with us being close to each other earlier, on the way here," Kael said. "Why is it a problem now? Why are you afraid to be close to me now, Nieme?" "I'm not... Not afraid, Kael." Nieme dared to venture her gaze to Kael's eyes, catching her breath as his face remained dangerously close to hers. "You...you shouldn't touch me, you know. It isn't...it's not right. You can't make me be a woman if I'm not ready to be... Jae Dyn Brael...she said if I'm not ready to be made a woman by you... You can't stick your penis in me if I'm not ready to be a woman yet..." "Jae Dyn Brael said--? I don't want to stick my penis in you, Nieme!" He stopped and thought about it for a moment. "Okay, so I do, but not until you're ready. But holding you in my arms...or even being near you? That's--that'd be very difficult. I don't want to make love to you until you're ready for that, but that doesn't mean I want to keep my distance." He looked away for a moment and then back to her. "Is that what you want? For me to keep my distance and not touch you at all?" "I-I-I don't know! I mean...I want to be a woman for you, but not the way I think it takes to be one. I'm afraid of your penis...I-I mean...not afraid just..." Nieme clenched her eyes shut and gave an exasperated sigh, realizing she wasn't making sense even to herself. "I'm afraid of going through the process of becoming a woman." She opened her eyes and looked at Kael sadly. "I'm afraid of sex," she whispered. "I like touching you and being near you. I'm just afraid that I'll do something I'm not ready for and that I'll be afraid to be near you after that. Jae Dyn Brael just told me that if I don't want to be a woman yet - for myself and not for you - then I shouldn't go too fast. Are we going too fast, Kael?" Kael tentatively took her hand into his. "We are going very fast," he said gently. "But holding each other and kissing should be okay...we can keep from going too far. You'll know when you're ready, Nieme. It'll be clear in your mind, and you'll know it...and that'll be when we can. It'll be okay, Nieme. We can hold each other and kiss. We won't do anything else though...not until you're ready." "I just...Jae Dyn Brael... She told me that..." Nieme sighed and looked down at her hand in Kael's. She didn't think she'd be able to resist his touch or being held by him, but she didn't want to disappoint Jae Dyn. Hurting Kael to do that, though, was not something she thought herself capable of. "I like kissing you," she said softly. "I like when you hold me...and make me feel safe. She just made me feel like what we were doing was...bad." "If we care for each other the way I feel we do, then it can't be all that bad," he said. "I mean, she and Liam are involved in a relationship with the same woman. That's far more abnormal than you and I showing our affection and attraction to each other by our actions. I want to make love to you, Nieme; but if you have any doubts, I want to wait. But, I do want to go on making sure you know that I care for you. There is nothing wrong with having feelings for each other or for expressing those feelings." Nieme smiled and her fears quickly dissipated. Her eyes locked with Kael's, and her relief was expressed in the form of a laugh. "I guess I was being silly again. I...I don't know why I got so scared. Kael...I like you more than I've ever liked anyone in my life. I'm sorry I made you feel bad. I won't listen to anyone again and only listen to what my conscience is telling me." She looked away and blushed profusely as she said, "And right now, it's telling me I'd really like a kiss." Kael smiled. "I think my conscience is telling me the same thing," he said, and took her into his arms. He just gazed into her eyes for a moment longer before kissing her deeply. He could feel all the tension and stress drain away like a handful of sand slipping through open fingers. "I like us like this." Nieme gently breathed in a calming breath and nodded her head. "Me too... I like this very much." She took initiative and pressed her lips to Kael's again, disregarding Jae Dyn's words to her and only following what every fibre of her being was urging her to do. "Kael..." she whispered softly. "I won't ever be afraid. I promise." "And, I promise I will never pressure you into doing anything you don't feel comfortable with," he said. "We're going to make it, Nieme. We just have to be open and honest with each other." He kissed her again and smiled. "I'm looking forward to shopping with you. This will be fun." He looked around and felt himself blushing. "And, if you want, I can help you with the cooking tonight. I don't know how good I'll be, but I'd like to help." "I'd love your help! If you want, you can try making the Hojet." Nieme laughed and hugged Kael excitedly. "And I'll try not to let others lead me astray again. It's just...she's my Master, Kael. I...I trusted her to give me helpful advice, not make me turn my back on you. I promise I won't let her tell me how to run my life again. I'll just follow what my heart tells me." She laughed softly and whispered into Kael's ear, "Tonight, I want you to sleep in my bed so I can make you all lumpy." Kael laughed and kissed her. "Well, I have no doubts that you will succeed marvelously at that," he said. He glanced down toward his crotch and smiled. "Like now, you little minx." Nieme followed Kael's eyes, then let out a spurt of laughter. "I'm sorry! Oh, Jae Dyn Brael will not be too pleased to see that. I think you should sit on the other end of the seat during the ride." She looked away and lowered her eyes demurely before quickly looking back to Kael with a large smile. "I almost forgot! Jae Dyn Brael showed me the most wonderful things. They're these strange devices that dispense water...fresh water. I haven't tried yet, but Jae Dyn Brael seems to think I should. Have you ever seen one?" Kael raised his eyebrows at the comment as his imagination tried to wrap itself around the concept. "Dispenses--? I think I want to try that too. What's it for?" "Jae Dyn Brael says it's for cleaning. You're supposed...take off all your clothing and stand under the water and wash yourself with soap and...things." Nieme laughed. "Strange, isn't it?" "Very strange," he said. "But, I assume that's what Liam and Jae Dyn do. They both smell...nice. It'd be strange not to feel the grit of sand on my body. Or just standing underneath water. It sounds so hedonistic." "Well, I imagine it couldn't hurt too much. Maybe when we get back from shopping, you and I can have a shower." Nieme gasped and stammered nervously. "I-I-I mean alone...of course. Not together...unless... No, no. Alone, I think." Kale laughed and kissed Nieme. "Alone is best, I think," he said. "Someday, perhaps we can together, but for now...alone." Nieme nodded her head, and with a wistful sigh, she lay it upon Kael's shoulder. "We have to do everything together, Kael. It's how it has to be. Things are always better when you're around." "And you," he said. He leaned in for a kiss, but movement toward the Temple caught his attention. They glanced and saw Liam and Jae Dyn approaching. Each wore a neutral expression as they climbed into the speeder and Liam started it up immediately. He quickly enaged the repulsorlift and they sped off toward the city. Nieme glanced between Liam and Jae Dyn, then looked to Kael with a concerned expression. "They seem...different," she whispered to Kael. "And they feel different too. So...tense. Do you think we did something wrong?" "Maybe Liam got upset at Jae Dyn for butting into our personal lives," he said. "Either that or they were arguing about who gets to be with Yelara first." "Kael," Nieme chided gently. She smiled softly at him and fixed her gaze upon Liam's hardened features in the reflection from the canopy. "He's mad about something. No point in getting curious, though. They'd never tell us what the problem is." Kael nodded. "When we get to the city," he said, turning his attention fully to Nieme, "what do you want to buy? I think I want to get a new coat, and some new shirts and pants. Maybe a new baitar too." "I have no idea what to buy. Some cooking supplies maybe...and books! Oh, I'll definitely buy some books." Nieme shrugged and gazed out the window as the trees disappeared and the towering metal skyscrapers took their place. "What do you think I should buy? I don't really need much." She looked back to Kael and glanced down at his jacket. "Are you really buying a new one? It won't...be the same." Kael smiled. "Well, maybe I'll keep this one," he said. "I hope they have other clothes for women other than those dresses everyone was wearing. I can't see you wearing one of those, especially for training." "I don't think I could ever wear one of those! They show...so much." She shifted her eyes back to Liam and Jae Dyn and hesitantly asked, "Masters? W-Will you be joining us today or...are we on our own? You...you can trust us to behave and we won't spend too much. But if you would like to join us...I think that would be nice." Jae Dyn turned back toward the back seat. "Liam and I will actually be going to spend some time with Yelara and the baby," she said. "If you would like us to, we can spend some time going through shops with you after we're done there. Yel will be with us then, so you can get to know her. Either that, or if you'd like the time to yourselves, it is yours." Nieme nodded her head slowly and sat back in her seat. "We'll be fine alone, if that's the case," she said quietly. "We promise to be good. We promise, Master Jae Dyn Brael." Jae Dyn smiled. "I believe you," she said. She glanced at Liam and then to the two in the back again. "If you need anything, we'll give you a comlink so you can contact us. I think you'll be fine in the city by yourselves though. You have our trust." "Thank you, Master." She smiled at Kael and squeezed his hand gently. "A comlink...I don't think I've ever used one. Do you know how, Kael? All alone in the city...are you sure we'll be alright?" "I think we can figure it out," Kael said. "And, we'll be fine. What could go wrong?" Nieme smiled and fixed her gaze on the streets outside the speeder. They seemed much less dangerous than Thanatos, but it was still a foreign place to her, which made her fear it more. As the speeder slowed to a halt, Nieme's attention was once again directed at Jae Dyn and Liam. "Master...is there anything we should know beforehand? Kael and I don't want to do anything wrong." As Jae Dyn pulled out a credit chip and a comlink, she thought for a moment if there was anything two desert bred youths would need to keep in mind while in the city. "If you come up against any situation you are unsure about, don't hesitate to talk to us. Our comlink frequencies are already plugged into that one. You both should be alright alone in the city, and I can't think of anything dangerous here for the two of you." She handed comlink and credit chip to Nieme and smiled. "You both will be fine. We should only be a couple hours. We'll contact you when we're ready to head back to the Temple." Nieme folded her fingers over the two items and smiled at Jae Dyn apprehensively. "Well...if you think we'll be fine then I'm sure we will be." She looked to Kael and nodded for him to open the hatch. "Two hours then... I can't wait to meet Yelara Zaneth and your baby, Master Jae Dyn Brael. I'll cook something extra special for the occasion." Jae Dyn smiled. "I'm sure Yelara will appreciate that," she said. "Just remember to put in extra carbosyrup and she'll love your cooking." "So that's why you insisted on using carbosyrup on everything, Liam Zaneth." Nieme laughed brightly and slipped out of the speeder after Kael. "Have a good visit! We'll keep a low profile, just in case." "Good," Jae Dyn called as Liam slowly pulled the speeder away. Both Jedi gave final goodbyes before they disappeared out of sight down the road. "Jedi Temple: Shopping Spree" *** Once they were gone, Kael turned to Nieme. "Well, I guess this is it," he said. "You want to get the kitchen stuff first? And, then we can go get some new clothes?" Nieme laughed as she slipped her arm through Kael's. "I'm surprised you even have to ask that question." She laced her fingers with his and lightly rested her cheek against his shoulder as they walked. "Kitchen supplies then...we find us clothing fit for a couple of Jedi-in-training." "Very good," he said, and then looked around. "So which one sells kitchen things?" There were lots of stores all around them, and each had a sign, but none said anything specific about kitchens. As they walked slowly, trying to pick out the right store, Kael tried not to think about the buildings towering above them. "That one looks like it might have some things." "I guess it's going to take some time to get used to things. Everything's so strange here. I can't even believe it's the same planet." They seemed to be scrutinized by every pedestrian they passed, and although their stares indicated anything but approval, Nieme merely though it was because she opted not to dress in the native attire and thought nothing more of it...well, almost nothing. "Do you think they know we don't belong here? We do look out of place." Kael frowned at the people glaring as they passed. "We belong," Kael said. "Just as much as they do. More. Our people were here first. They probably know that, and our presence threatens them. I thought since we'd be coming here that they'd accept us, but I guess they're just the wetters I've always known were here." "Well...maybe if we dressed like them, they'd be more accepting. Wouldn't that be a good thing? I mean...we want to make this work for us, for Jae Dyn Brael and Liam Zaneth... We have to." Nieme tried to ignore all the eyes following them, but felt herself succumbing to the intense scrutiny and she buried her face into Kael's arm. "Let's just...let's just go into the nearest store, Kael. I don't like how they're looking at us." Kael glared back and turned toward the next store they came to with his arm protectively around Nieme. "Yeah," he said. "We should try dressing like them. I think that'd make them accept us more. We have to make this work; you're right." He looked around and then smiled. "Hey, kitchen things." Nieme's mood lightened considerably upon seeing the plethora of kitchen supplies lining the shelves. "Oh...we don't have one of these." She slipped from Kael's embrace and moved to the shelves. "I guess...I guess they're just wary of new people," Nieme commented, bringing the topic back to their audience outside. "Once we look like them, they won't be so bad." She turned her head back towards Kael and laughed. "But I'm not wearing one of those skimpy gowns!" Kael smiled. "Well," he said. "I think you would look amazing in one, but you don't have to. I'd be too jealous, I think, if everyone were just staring at you. I don't know if I could handle so many people seeing how beautiful you are." "Kael..." Nieme looked away with a large grin on her face and her entire body suddenly feeling warm with a tingle running through it. "You're...you're very good at flustering me, you know? I think you do it purposefully at times." "With as good as you are at affecting me," Kael said with a smile, "I'm glad I'm good at at least a little bit of the same." He stepped closer and kissed her quickly as he slipped past to pick up what looked like a bowl, but had some other device attached to it. "What's this," he asked. Nieme took the device into her hands and studied it closely. "I really have no idea..." She looked up at Kael with a half smile and asked, "Should we get it anyway? We can always figure out what it's for once we have it in the kitchen." Kael grinned and looked around. "Yes," he said. "We should definitely get it. It'll be great...even if we can't figure out what it does. Hey...maybe they have a thing here where you could make your own Hojet noodles." "Maybe! If so, we could make a large supply ahead of time and just use it whenever we get a craving!" Nieme placed the device under her arm and pulled Kael along with her free hand. "I'm so glad they let us come alone. I mean...I like Jae Dyn Brael and Liam Zaneth but...they're just so...serious all the time." "Maybe it's the responsibility of being Jedi Knights," he said. "Or maybe it's...maybe it's just that they don't know how to have fun anymore. Maybe we can show them. We'll have some time tonight, we can show them how to have fun the Kir'thana way." "I really don't think they'd be interested in your kind of fun, Kael. But...maybe we can have a dance of sorts. I mean...that would be fun, wouldn't it?" Nieme's eyes grew large as she spotted another tool she thought would be useful in her kitchen. She released Kael's hand and seized the item, wearing a large smile. "I can make my meat pies with this." "That would be great," he said. "You're going to have the best kitchen on the whole planet. And, I think a dance would be fun...though I really don't know much about dancing. Hey, is that a noodle maker?" Nieme looked to the item, then to Kael; her face clearly displayed how impressed she was by his astute observation. "I think having you around the kitchen is going to be fun. You'll be just as good as me in no time." She kissed Kael on the cheek. "Pick up the noodle maker and then we can pay for these. After that, it's off to the clothing stores, although I really see nothing wrong with my old, tattered clothing." Kael grabbed the noodle maker from the shelf and tucked it under his arm. As they wended their way toward a place where they could pay, he noticed they were still being watched. "Well, I happen to like your tattered clothing very much, but everyone else thinks...I guess they think it's inappropriate. I like it though." "Me too." Nieme smiled at Kael as she remembered how exciting having a hole in a shirt could be. "But if we're going to be Jedi, we have to at least look presentable. We have an image to uphold...whatever that may be." She laughed as they set their items upon the cash counter then handed Kael their credit chip. "I'm not exactly sure how one of these works. I've never actually had one before," she whispered. Kael looked at it, and then up at the clerk who began waving a small rectangular box over their packages. He looked at the credit chip and then at Nieme and shrugged. He held it out to the man behind the counter. When the man didn't acknowledge it, Kael thrust it forward again. "I see it," the man said. "Just hold on 'til I'm finished here. And, could you step back a little?" He pulled a face and wrinkled his nose as he looked at Nieme and Kael. "It'll just be a moment." Nieme turned her face away from the man, feeling almost shamed by his obvious disdain for them. "Kael," she said softly, "I really think we should get some new clothes then quickly go back to the...to our home. I don't want to be out here anymore." Kael nodded and set the chip on the counter for when the man was ready. His glare deepened as the man seemed to slow down even more in readying their packages. Finally he got around to charging them, and ran the chip through the reader. Once finished, he pushed the packages toward them along with the credit chip. "There you go," he said. "Have a nice day now." Kael growled a response and picked up the packages and they quickly headed toward the door. "There's a clothing place across the street," he said. "At least it looks like they sell clothes. Let's try there." The anger emanating from Kael made Nieme cringe, but she stared near him and nestled her cheek gently against his arm. "I don't know why they don't like us, Kael, but they don't matter. They're just arrogant w-wetters. We're better than they are." Kael glanced down at Nieme and smiled. "Especially together," he said. "We'll show all of them by being the best of all. You and me, Nieme; we're the key." Nieme gazed up dreamily into Kael's eyes and realized how deeply she cared for him. She wasn't used to the emotions she was experiencing then, but the way they made her head light and her body fill with a tingling warmth, she knew there could be nothing wrong with what she was feeling for him, no matter who disapproved. "Kael... What if I'm never ready?" she asked quietly. "What...what if I never stop being afraid of...sex? What will happen to us?" Kael glanced at her and smiled. "We'll figure it out if that happens," he said. "For now, I'm just content being near you, and sharing the kisses and hugs. We'll make it through." His smile and his touch were reassurance enough for Nieme, and as they walked down the street together, drawing attention from the passersby, she knew she could bear to be with no one other than Kael. Thinking about life without him now only frightened her into a panic, so she merely took shelter in his protective embrace and continued towards the shops where they would see to altering their physical identities to fit their new roles in life. *** As Nieme ran her fingers along the clothes on the rack, she became very aware of the shopkeeper watching her intently and warily. "She's thinks we're going to steal something, doesn't she?" Nieme whispered to Kael. "I'm only looking..." Kael glanced at the woman with her eyes on Nieme and frowned. "I'll go talk to her," he said. "I'll make sure she knows we're not here to steal anything." "No! I-It's okay, Kael." Nieme sighed and smoothed a hand across his cheek. "We promised Jae Dyn Brael and Liam Zaneth we'd be good. Please don't do anything...well...bad." Kael looked into her eyes and felt the fire burning within him at the woman's suspicion turn to a different sort. He felt his heart pound faster and her hand on his skin felt like it left traces of pooled fire. "I won't be too bad," he whispered, and quickly turned away and hurried to the woman before Nieme could touch him again and turn him into a helpless puddle of lust. Nieme could do nothing but watch Kael go and fear for what he was about to do. She stared helplessly as he drew nearer to the woman, whose features twisted into a sneer upon seeing his approach. Her hands gripped the bag she was holding tightly, hoping to relieve her tension somehow, but as the distance between Kael and the woman finally closed, her anxieties only intensified. "Oh, Kael...please be good," she whispered to herself. The woman's eyes narrowed as Kael started speaking to her, and her jaw set into a hard line as he adjusted his stance to one that held more of an air of command. Finally, with a snapped comment and a sniff of disdain, the woman turned and went back toward the front of the store. Kael turned slowly and moved back to where Nieme stood, hands wringing the bag she held as if she were trying to coax moisture from a damp cloth. "There," he said, "she won't bother us anymore, and she won't sit and glare while we shop." Nieme glanced past Kael to where the shopkeeper stood, bristling as she aggressively began folding clothing. "Kael...what did you say to her? We're not in trouble, are we?" Kael smiled. "We're not in trouble," he said with a grin. "I just gave her our credit chip, and told her if she thought we were stealing anything from her she could charge it to that. She wanted to accuse me of stealing it, but she didn't fight long. So, now she'll just sit there and bristle because we beat her at her game to intimidate us. Now...let's get you some new clothes." "Well...I won't need much. Just one outfit should be fine..." Nieme's eyes trailed off to a corner of the shop where a series of long, flowing dresses were displayed. One in particular caught her eye, a brilliant red one. It was plain, but it was more beautiful than anything she'd ever seen in the desert. She smiled and looked back to Kael. "We can find you something first if you like. I'm not too picky about clothing so we should just do you first." Kael smiled. "Well, I think we should get you more than one thing," he said. "That way you don't have to wear the same clothes all the time if you don't want to. I'll probably get a couple shirts and pants, and maybe a new pair of boots. It shouldn't be too hard to find." He looked over and saw some racks. "There's clothes for my kind over there. Want to help me find some things?" "Uh..." Nieme's eyes flashed towards the dress again, then quickly back to Kael. "I think I'll just look around for a second, but I'll join you and then help with your selections. Do you mind?" Kael shook his head. "Not at all," he said. "I'll be right over there." With that, he moved over toward the racks of clothing designed for men. Waiting until Kael's attention was focused on the search for his own clothes, Nieme slinked over to the dress she'd had her eyes on and appraised it more closely. It was even more beautiful up close and the colour even more vibrant. She carefully set down her bag to free her hands, then trepidly reached out for the dress. She glanced back at the shopkeeper for a moment, making sure she was preoccupied with something else and wouldn't shout at her for touching the merchandise. Once Nieme was confident she wouldn't get into trouble, she ran her fingers lightly across the silky material. The tactile sensation was nothing she'd ever experienced before; they certainly didn't have fabric such as that in Thanatos. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she continued running her hands over the dress. They moved easily across the material like oil in a pan and despite how beautiful it looked, she was more in love with the way it felt against her flesh. She knew she didn't have the confidence to wear anything so glamourous, and it would most likely only draw attention to herself when she'd rather be invisible, so with a gentle sigh, Nieme picked up her bag and with one last look at the dress, she turned and started towards Kael. When Nieme found Kael again, he had three pairs of pants and a couple shirts thrown over one arm and was busily going through another rack filled with shirts. He glanced at Nieme as she approached and a grin split his face. "There's a lot of great things here. I think I'll have trouble deciding. What do you think of that one there? The silver and black one?" Nieme shrugged her shoulders as she glossed over the selections Kael had made. "I think it matches your jacket. Are you going to try on anything? I think you should." Nieme kept the red dress in view out of the corner of her eye, still completely smitten with it and convincing herself by the moment how much she really did want it. "You should try on something," she said again. "I mean...if you want." Kael looked at the clothes, and then at Nieme. "Try them on...um, sure." He looked around and finally saw the small sign that said 'Changing Room' and pointed. "I'll be over there." With a smile, he headed that way, burdened with the clothing he carried. Before disappearing, he quickly came back and grabbed the shirt he'd asked Nieme about, and then disappeared into the changing room to try the clothes on. Once she was certain Kael was hidden away in the changing room, Nieme slipped behind the shopkeeper and tapped her lightly upon the shoulder. "Miss...excuse me," she said softly. The woman tried to not show displeasure at the odour emanating from the girl. "Yes," she said with a courteous smile. "How my I help you, my dear?" Nieme looked to the ground, away from the intimidating gaze of the woman and pulled at the edge of her sleeve as she gathered up the courage to make her request. "Uh...ma'am? Well...you see...I don't know much about these things, you see." Nieme glanced up for a moment, then took a deep breath and pointed to the red dress on display. "That," she said quietly. "I want that. Can I buy that?" The woman looked over Nieme and then up at the dress. "Of course you can buy that," she said. "Did you want to use that credit chip your friend gave me earlier? And, I can have it wrapped up for you. It is a very lovely dress, and it will go nicely with your eyes." Nieme looked up at the woman and smiled shyly as she nodded her head. "I would like that. But...please don't tell my friend. I don't want him to know I bought it." The woman glanced toward the changing room and then smiled. "It'll be our little secret," she said with genuine warmth. "Let's go get you your new dress." With a beaming smile, Nieme followed the woman towards the dress - soon to be her dress. She knew, for Kael, she didn't want to be invisible, and wearing the dress would make him realize more than ever that she truly was worthy of his attentions. "Do you think he'll like it? I-I've never owned a dress before..." "I think he'll love it," the woman said as she took the dress down from the hook holding it in place. "I think you'll like this. Will you also be interested in getting a pair of shoes to go with the dress?" Nieme looked down at her grimy, sandeled feet, then back up at the woman. "Shoes...I didn't think about that. I think I will. Can we hurry? He'll be done soon and I don't want to ruin the surprise." The woman nodded. "I think we can get you a pair of shoes quickly," she said. "Come right over this way. We'll get you something perfect for that dress." Hurrying along beside the woman, Nieme kept her eye out for Kael, just in case he decided to surprise her. The woman brought her to the display of shoes and quickly picked out a pair perfectly suited for the dress. They didn't look like anything she'd ever worn before, and with a heel that high, she wasn't certain she'd be able to walk in them without wobbling, but Nieme nodded her approval of the selection. "We can put them in this bag," Nieme said as she held up the bag from the kitchen wares store. "This way he won't know." The woman smiled, the conspiracy of the secret dress bought to woo the heart of her love sending thrills through her romantic nature. She slipped both shoes and dress into the bag, carefully not to wrinkle or damage either. "You're all set there now," she said. "And, I'll quickly run this on that credit chip before he gets out of the changing room. Perhaps you should sneak over that way to keep him busy until I'm done." "Oh, good idea!" Nieme smiled at the woman and thanked her profusely as she backed towards the changing area. "I know you don't like my kind, but...but you're a nice woman, Miss." With her bag held snugly under her arm, Nieme turned and hurried towards where Kael would be. It was only a couple minutes later before Kael emerged from the changing room, a big smile gracing his face. "They're all perfect," he said. "Did you find anything? I don't think they'd be too happy if we train in our old clothes." "Um...maybe while you're paying for those, I can just pull something off the rack. I won't need much." Nieme held the bag with Kael's surprise protectively under her arm, making certain he couldn't catch even a glimpse of what was hidden inside. "We should probably pay for those and start making our way back. I'm a little tired from the trip still. Maybe we can have a nap before dinner." Kael nodded and hauled his purchases over toward the counter to pay. He piled them in front of the shopkeeper, and she quickly went to work arranging the charges for Liam's credit chip. While he waited, he glanced back toward Nieme and smiled. Nieme glanced towards the shopkeeper, who was also smiling at her, and suddenly felt very self conscious. With a nervous laugh, she began edging backwards away from the counter. "I...I think I'll just go grab a shirt and a pair of pants...or something. I'll be right back." Quickly, she turned and headed to the nearest clothing rack, glad to no longer be the centre of attention. It didn't take long for the woman to ring up Kael's charges and hand him back the credit chip. He took the large bundle under his arm and thanked her, graciously. When he turned away, he frowned at how friendly she was to him. Maybe Nieme said something to make her less hostile toward them. He found her back toward the back of the store looking through a rack filled with clothing. "I'm all set," he said. "See anything you like?" "Uh...this and...this." Nieme held up two articles of clothing she'd randomly chosen from the rack. She looked down at them, appraising them, but compared to the dress she'd just purchased everything else seemed uninteresting. "I guess we should pay and then we can be off. Do you think Liam Zaneth and Jae Dyn Brael will provide us with uniforms? I wonder if we get to wear those robes like Liam Zaneth does." Kael looked at the clothing Nieme had picked out and nodded his approval. "I guess we'll find out soon enough," he said. "With the situation, I don't think he'll make us dress up like Jedi, at least not in public. I don't think they want to make us targets...at least not until we're trained." "Well, once we're trained, we can afford to be targets. By then, we should be able to protect ourselves." Nieme walked with Kael back to the counter and once again handed the shopkeeper their credit chip. She exchanged a few pleasant words with the woman, and glanced at Kael whose face clearly indicated his surprise at the woman's sudden change in mood. Nieme couldn't explain to him until after dinner, but seeing his curiousity piqued was entertaining. After an exchange of thank-yous, Nieme and Kael headed from the store and out onto the streets. "Should we comm them or just head back on our own?" Kael looked around and then smiled. "Let's go back on our own," he said. "I'm sure they won't be upset at that, and it'll give them time with Yelara." Nieme nodded her assent and soon they were making their way back, using the instincts they'd picked up from living in Thanatos to guide them and help them find their way. "I imagine Yelara is a very beautiful woman if she has two lovers. I don't think I could be with a...woman. It just seems strange." Kael shrugged. "Well, if it's someone you care about," he said. "I guess gender wouldn't really matter if you loved them." He glanced at her and shrugged. "I don't know. They sound happy, and Jae Dyn doesn't seem to mind that she has a girlfriend." Nieme gave Kael a knowing smile. "Liam Zaneth isn't happy. I felt it. He doesn't seem too thrilled about their living arrangement. I guess he doesn't like sharing..." Kael shrugged. "I imagine it's difficult for him to do that, to know that he gives her his whole heart, yet she only gives him part of hers. I don't think that Jae Dyn carries that same outlook though." He thought for a moment. "However I do wonder who fathered her child. By their actions, I would not think Liam Zaneth is the baby's father." "No, I don't think so either. He seems almost...indifferent to her, yet somewhat uneasy. Jae Dyn Brael seems happy with the arrangement, though." Nieme cast her eyes sideways at Kael and asked gently, "You don't like her much, do you?" "I wouldn't say I don't like her," Kael said. "It's just...I know she said some things to you, and it almost caused problems for us. I think she's pretty and she seems like a nice person, but it felt like she was trying to keep us apart." "But...she was only trying to help...I think. I guess I misunderstood her..." Nieme smiled at Kael as she slipped her arm through his. "No harm done, though. I want you two to be friends, okay? We're all going to be in that Temple for a long time and...and I want things to be peaceful." Kael smiled. "I'll be good," he said. "And, I'll do my best to be friends with her. I don't think it will be too difficult; she seems like a friendly type of person." "Except she and Liam Zaneth didn't look so friendly in the speeder today. They fought about something. I can tell." During the trek back, Nieme barely noticed all the disapproving stares they received. Being with Kael, nothing else seemed to matter. "We're going to be starting our training tomorrow. How do you think it will be?" Kael sighed. "I think it will be difficult," he said. "More difficult than anything either of us have experienced before in our lives. But in the end it will be fulfilling. Do you think you're ready?" "I...I don't know. I don't even know what to expect." With her head upon Kael's shoulder, Nieme laughed softly. "But with you by my side, I'm ready for anything." Kael smiled again and pulled Nieme closer. "Together, we'll be able to do anything." "Jedi Temple: Preparations for Perfection" *** It took much longer than they'd anticipated to walk back to the Temple. When they arrived, they realized the fifty kilometer walk was probably more than either anticipated. It certainly didn't seem that far in the speeder. They slipped through the front door, trying to hide their exhaustion. It seemed like another fifty kilometer hike along the hallway to their rooms. "That was...far," Kael said with a tired laugh. "But at least we got to take in all the scenery." Nieme leaned against Kael to relieve some weight from her feet, but what she really needed was a bed to sink into. "I should probably start on dinner soon...and with how tired I am, I think I'm really going to need your help." "I'll help you as much as you need," Kael said wearily, "after we've both had a nap. Should we contact them? To let them know we walked back? We don't want them to be worried." "Maybe just a short message," Nieme said, forcing back a yawn. "We can do it in our room, though, as we're drifting off to sleep..." Kael smiled at Nieme's yawn and was thankful they were almost at their rooms. He held his packages in one hand while supporting Nieme with his other. When they finally reached the door to Nieme's room, they were each ready to collapse. He pushed the door open and lead the way to the bed where it took all his strength to keep from collapsing. Nieme's fatigue was replaced momentarily by surprise as the entirety of Kael's room came into view. The bed seemed fit for three and the stained glass window on the far wall splashed a myriad of colours upon the ground, giving the room a sanctified feel. "I can't wait to see my room," Nieme said as she flounced onto the bed. She set down her bag, making certain to slide it under the bed and away from Kael's wandering eyes, then curled up on the bed. "But...I think I'll wait until later to do that. Now...I need sleep." Kael set their packages aside while Nieme sank into the bed. He followed quickly after, pulling her into his arms as sleep threatened to claim him. "Should we...should we comm Master...Jae Dyn Brael," Nieme muttered as her eyelids weighed down heavily and veiled her eyes. "Or...maybe we shouldn't... She'd only get mad that...that we're together." Nieme nestled her head against Kael's chest and wrapped her arms loosely around his waist. "We have to be together, though... She doesn't understand..." "We'll get in touch with her later," Kael whispered. Nieme's body pressed against his felt so good. He sighed with contentment, but then frowned. He kissed her forehead and eased her concerns with another kiss as he sat up. He quickly pulled his boots off and dropped them over the side of the bed. Then with a smile, he gently removed Nieme's sandals and let them follow his boots to the floor. With that done, he lay back and pulled her close again. "Now we can sleep comfortably," he whispered. Nieme nodded her head and barely vocalized a thank-you as her feet were freed from the blistering confines of her sandals. She sighed gently and squeaked out a moan as she buried her face into Kael's neck. Being so comfortable in another's arms was a strange, new sensation to Nieme, but she couldn't imagine, now, ever being uncomfortable around Kael. "Remember...we have to cook..." she mumbled lazily. "You...you have to make Hojet..." "Later," he whispered into her hair. "After we wake up. Sleep, Nieme. You're safe in my arms. So safe." "I know..." Nieme whispered with her last waking breath before succumbing to sleep. She knew she wouldn't need to dream, for lying in Kael's arms was better than any dream her mind could conjure. So, sleep she did, and still in Kael's arms she hoped to wake. *** "Kael, the Hojet!" Nieme rushed over to Kael's side and quickly pulled the pan of burning Hojet off the heat. She laughed and kissed him quickly on the cheek. "Try again. You'll get it soon enough." "No wonder Orn was so sad to see you go, this stuff is impossible to make," Kael said as he started, once again, to try his hand at making Hojet. "I almost had it though. I think a little less heat and I'll have it." He glanced at Nieme. "Right?" "Right. And...try stirring a little faster too or it'll stick." Nieme wiped her hands on her apron as she moved back to her section of the range and continued with her Csolcir mushrooms. She'd never worked with them before, but Nieme was an artist when it came to cooking and could turn even the simplest ingredient into a dish worthy of being called a masterpiece. "Oh, don't forget to add the carbosyrup after it's cooked. Liam Zaneth's wife loves it for some reason. I always thought it was too sweet." Kael raised an eyebrow. "Carbosyrup? On Hojet?" He shook his head and pulled the overly sweet gloop closer. He stirred faster, but not too fast. He smiled as it seemed like everything was working the way it should. He added in a little of the syrup, for flavour. Tonight, they'd really impress Liam's wife. "Maybe we should make a batch of it without carbosyrup...just in case." "Well you could use the practice..." Nieme smiled at Kael, then focused on her mushrooms again. She glanced at Kael, and contained her excitement as she thought about his surprise, one she hoped he'd like. "Have...have you showered yet? I mean...I haven't and I thought I might before dinner... Would you mind if I left you with the rest of the preparation while I...well...showered?" Kael glanced down at the Hojet, and smiled. "I think I've got the hang of this," he said. "If you want to go shower, go ahead. And, then when you're done, I can too." Nieme's smile extended to the corners of her eyes as she quickly pulled off her apron. "I won't be long," she said excitedly. "I... You won't burn down the kitchen, will you?" Kael looked around the kitchen, and then back at Nieme. "No," he said with a smirk, "I'm getting the hang of this now. Don't want to end it all with a fire now. You go; I'll be alright." "Ok." With a tiny squeal of excitement, Nieme rushed out of the kitchen towards the refresher. She was suddenly wracked with worries. Would the dress fit? Would she be able to walk in her new shoes? Would Kael even like it... Nieme refused to let her anxieties hamper her courage. She was going through with the surprise and if Kael wasn't impressed, she'd find another way to catch his eye. *** Kael hurried around the table making sure all was in place. From the doorway at the end of the room Jae Dyn, Liam, and Yelara watched. Jae Dyn's baby, who was also named Yelara, was nestled in Jae Dyn's arms and sleeping soundly. With a last look over the table, Kael nodded his approval. Everything was perfect. He told everyone to sit and then rushed back into the kitchen to get the food. It was another five minutes before everything was situated on the table and everyone was seated. Well, everyone except for Nieme. He hadn't seen her since she'd left to take her shower, and getting everything ready had precluded him from taking one of his own. He smiled at his dinner companions as he took his place. He glanced back as he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Smoothing out the bodice of her dress again, Nieme felt the familiar churning in her stomach that made her want to run back into the refresher and rid herself of the nervous knot twisting at her insides. The dress fit perfectly, as did the shoes, and despite not being able to walk properly in them, and the dress making her feel vulnerable and self conscious, she still couldn't wait to make her appearance and see the look on Kael's face. She heard the chatter coming from the dining area and stopped her approach before she reached the doorway. She didn't want to make a fool of herself and had an almost tangible fear that the moment she walked in there, the laughter would arise and she'd run away in shame. But Kael said she'd be safe with him, always. He would protect her from the ridicule and anything else thrown at her. That alone was enough to get her moving again and before she could lose her nerve, Nieme was standing still and breathless in the doorway with all heads turned towards her. She gasped quietly and looked to the ground, focusing on anything but the eyes scrutinizing her in that moment. Desperately, she wanted to run back into her room and lock the door forever. A fool, that's what she'd been, shaming herself to impress a man, to convince him she was worthy of his affections. If someone didn't speak, say something soon, she knew she was going to bolt with a trail of bitter tears following behind her. Kael's eyes were wide with the awe he felt deep into the core of his being. He knew his mouth hung open and he must have looked like a fool. He stammered for a moment before finally finding his voice. "You are beautiful," he whispered. "Where did you--? Oh gods, Nieme, you are...beautiful like a desert sunrise." Nieme knew her face was as red as one of those sunrises, and soon the same shade as her dress. She pressed her hands to her cheeks and laughed uncomfortably. She felt on display, standing there in front of her four friends and peers, but she could do nothing to set her feet into motion they were so heavily rooted to the ground. She pulled at her short, brown hair nervously, trying to stop her foolish laughter, but it only worsened the longer she stood there being stared at. "Please," Kael said, motioning to one of the seats. He looked at her, and then down at the dirty, sand-covered clothes he wore and felt suddenly out of place and less than worthy of sitting at Nieme's side or even at the table. He swallowed hard and shifted his gaze toward the table, but it did nothing to remove the feeling that he didn't belong there. "Everything's served. We can go ahead and start." He glanced up and noticed Liam's wife and then realized how poor his manners truly were. "Nieme, this is Yelara, Liam's wife." Nieme moved towards the table and shifted her eyes towards Yelara, but they stopped at her enormously swollen belly and she simply gawked at it with an expression of amazement. The halo of light emanating from Yelara's stomach and surrounding the child within drew Nieme closer until she unwittingly had her hand upon Yelara's stomach. Yelara shot Liam a glance and a smile. Her eyes turned back to Nieme and gently, she placed her hand atop the girl's. Nieme gasped quietly and began pulling her hand away, but Yelara laughed softly and held it firmly in place. "It's okay. You can touch. If you place your hand about...here, you might even feel it kick." Once Nieme's hand was moved to its new resting place, she gazed intently at the halo of light that was the child. With a sudden increased intensity, the light grew more vibrant just as Nieme felt a light beating against her palm. "He kicked! I...I felt it!" Yelara laughed. "He does that alot, especially when he doesn't get enough carbosyrup." "Well, I tried to put extra in with the meal," Kael said. "I hope that's okay. I hope I got the right amount, I don't do much cooking with carbosyrup." "I'm sure it's fine, Kael. I can always pour some more on if it doesn't satiate my appetite." Yelara smiled down at Nieme again as she stared in wonderment at her stomach. She could only imagine what fascinated the girl so. Nieme felt Yelara's eyes on her and slowly pulled her hand away. "He's going to be a wonderful child," she whispered as she straightened and finally took a seat in her chair. "He...he's bright...like Liam Zaneth. Not painful bright...but a nice, warm one." "Uh...thank you...I think." Yelara looked to Liam and shrugged her shoulders. Liam watched the interaction between his wife and Nieme, and knew that no harm would come to Yel or the baby, but he could see from the look in his wife's eyes that she wasn't too sure of Nieme. "Why don't we start dinner," he said. "Before this Hojet gets too cold to eat too." Kael served himself a helping of the food and then passed it down along the table toward the others. He smiled at Nieme hovering over Yelara's belly and almost laughed at the pure wonder in her eyes. He wished he could take her into his arms, but knew that he'd have to wait until...until he was at least clean. Yelara graciously took the Hojet and began slapping heaping spoonfuls onto her plate. She caught Liam staring at her with an amused smile, and slowly put down the spoon then handed him the half empty bowl of Hojet. "Sorry...it just looked really carbosyrupy." "Well...Kael made the Hojet," Nieme said suddenly. She quickly look away bashfully as her comment grabbed the attention of all at the table. "I-I just meant to say that...I'm sure it's really good...since Kael made it." "It took a little to get it right," Kael said. "I've never cooked before tonight, but Nieme was a good teacher. I hope there isn't too much carbosyrup. I haven't had it much in the past, so I don't know how much is too much." "One can never have enough carbosyrup," Yelara said as she piled some Hojet onto her fork and brought it to her lips. With her mouth stuffed, she began savouring the dish, and much to her surprise, it actually went quite well with carbosyrup. She attempted to pay her compliments to the chef, but as usual, she'd taken in more than she could handle and was forced to make moans and nod her head slowly to express her approval. Nieme eyed Yelara quizzically, then looked to Kael. "I think she likes it." Kael smiled. "I think so," he whispered. He realized his fears about his own manners were unnecessary as he watched Yelara eat. He could see that Liam was used to it by the way he rolled his eyes, and Jae Dyn only found amusement in Yelara's dinner table antics. With a soft chuckle, he turned his attention to his own meal and put Yelara stuffing the entire bowl of Hojet into her mouth out of his mind. "So, Kael, Nieme," Yelara began as she wiped her mouth clean of any trace of carbosyrup. "Tell me, you two, do you really wanna become Jedi or is this something Liam pressured you into? He can be very persuasive when he wants to be, but usually his only method of persuasion is se--" Yelara smiled sweetly at the two children whose ears she almost offended then looked to Liam, who seemed ready to instruct her to keep her mouth occupied with eating more Hojet. "I mean... Oh for the sake of the gods, they know all about sex, Liam." She turned her gaze back to Kael and Nieme, looking almost perplexed. "You do...right?" Kael shrugged. "Sure," he said. "Though..." He glanced at Nieme and then back to Yel. "Though, I can assure you that Liam did not use sex to persuade either of us. It is something we both chose of our own volition." "Well...good. Now he may look shy and brooding, but when he wants to, he can be very pushy. Don't you two let him boss you around. I know I never do." Yelara laughed and stuffed her mouth full of Hojet again. Nieme looked at her plate of untouched food, then glimpsed at Kael out of the corner of her eye. Under the table, she slipped her hand onto his knee and smiled gently at him. "If he bosses us around...I know Kael will protect us both." "Oh," Yelara said with a large grin. "Two lovebirds, I see. Isn't that convenient, Kal? Your two Padawans...in love. I bet it'll make both your lives easier...or harder, depending on how much in love they are. Using Liam and I as an example, the more in love they are, the more they are likely to fight." "Just as long as whatever relationship Nieme and Kael share doesn't interfere with their training," Kallia said. "I think that they will be good students, and eventually good teachers. Though, we will have to discuss their relationship another time." "What's to discuss, Kal? They're obviously in love." Yelara laughed and shook her head as she dug her fork into the Hojet. "You're not gonna try forbidding them to be together, are you? Oh, come on, Kal. Don't be silly." "Stop making assumptions, Yelara," Kallia said. "There are special considerations that need to be made while they are Padawans. The situation will be discussed later, and no one is forbidding anything." Kael shook his head and dropped his fork onto his plate. "Will the two of you stop talking about the two of us as if we're not here?" Nieme looked at Kael with an imploring gaze and whispered softly, "Kael, it's okay. They're only talking." "No, he's right, Nieme. It's really none of my business." Yelara turned her gaze to Kal and with a frown, adding, "It's no one's business, really." Kael took a deep breath and let it out. "I will accept that there are things we need to be careful of because we're training to be Jedi, but my feelings for Nieme aren't going to go away and I can't deny them. We'll be careful because of what we are, but we won't forsake our love because of it." The word 'love' struck Nieme with a sudden wave of anxiety, as well as excitement. She gazed up at Kael uncertainly, gazing into his eyes to judge the sincerity of his profession. Kael's sentiments infused her with a strange conviction and courage that caused her to stare unfaltering at Jae Dyn and say, "K-Kael and I are in love. And...and if he wants to stick his penis in me he can, no matter what you say...Master." Yelara gazed at Kallia wide-eyed before bursting into laughter. "Well! It appears the situation has resolved itself. Kael and Nieme will be having sex and there's nothing you can do about it." Kael only stared at Nieme, unsure of what he could say, if he could find his voice at all, after the girl's proclamation. Jae Dyn, on the other hand, only shook her head and returned her attention to the meal. She really wasn't sure if having Yelara here was a good idea. She knew whatever discipline she and Liam tried to instill in their students would be undermined by Yel's rebellious nature. "So," she finally said, "did the two of you find anything interesting in the city?" Nieme swallowed back the sudden nausea she felt at having spoken so frankly. It surprised even herself that she could have said such things and shown such insolent behaviour. With her eyes focused on her meal, she said softly, "Nothing really..." The tension in the air was palpable to Yelara who decided to hold her tongue for the rest of the evening. She knew she had already upset Kallia, who would definitely be giving her a lecture after dinner was over. She turned, then, to doing what she was accomplished at, and began stuffing her face again with the Hojet. The room was silent except for the sounds of everyone eating. Finally, Liam decided to speak up now that the conflict over Nieme and Kael's relationship had been ended. "Tomorrow, after we've finished with your initial training, I'm going to be going to Arcadia to try to find more who might join us." Nieme broke her silence and looked up at Liam excitedly. "We...we could help, Liam Zaneth! I mean...we could, if you showed us how. If you want us to, that is." Liam smiled as Nieme vocalized the thought he'd had in his mind. "Actually, learning how to identify someone with strength in the Force is one of the first things we were planning on teaching you. After you have that skill under control, I'll take you with me to see what we can find." "We'll do our best, Master Liam Zaneth. I can't wait to find more people to cook for." Nieme smiled at Liam, then Jae Dyn, but she frowned and looked away as her stolid expression reminded Nieme of her lack of manners and prudence. She would never be so disrespectful as to make another comment like that again. "We'll...we'll be good. We promise," Nieme said quietly. Jae Dyn smiled. "I know," she said, words and expression conveying warmth. She needed Nieme to not be afraid, and the girl had to know that everything was alright. "While the three of you are out, I'll be doing more work around here. I don't think I could spend more time away from my little girl." Nieme followed Jae Dyn's eyes as they wandered across the room to a carrier set near the far wall. Nieme turned her head and strained her eyes to catch a glimpse of the child within. "Is she...is she sleeping?" Jae Dyn smiled and followed Nieme's gaze back to where Yara slept. "She is," she said. "She usually takes a nap after she's eaten. So, she got her dinner, and now we have ours." She smiled at the nose of the stuffed toy Yelara had gotten for her sticking up out of the carrier. Yara loved that thing to pieces, and immediately started crying if it was taken away. "She's a beautiful little girl." "Can--" Nieme looked away and stared into her plate again. "Nevermind...I should...maybe I should start clearing the table." Nieme pushed her chair back and began collecting Kael's plate as well as the empty one sitting in front of Yelara. Jae Dyn stood and picked up her plate and Liam's. "I'll help," she said. She started toward the kitchen where they could deposit the dishes in the large automated washing unit. "Jedi Temple: Plans for the Future" *** Nieme followed Jae Dyn reluctantly, suddenly very fearful of being alone in a room with her. She looked up at Jae Dyn, then quickly away and tried to lag behind her. Jae Dyn was her Master, but Nieme was intimidated and somewhat afraid of her. If anything, Jae Dyn could be certain Nieme would never disobey one of her orders. When Nieme finally entered the kitchen, Jae Dyn was waiting for her. She smiled as Nieme approached. "It's going to be alright," she said. "I don't want to stand between you and Kael; I won't stand between you. I just don't want to see any problems with your training because of the relationship." Nieme set the plates down upon the counter and looked at Jae Dyn thoughtfully. "I don't understand. How could there possibly be problems? I mean...we need eachother. If I don't have Kael I might not get through the training." Nieme looked down at her dress and smiled. "I bought this for him," she said quietly. "I bought this so I could make him like me even more. And he does, Master Jae Dyn Brael." She peered up at Jae Dyn and said softly, "I'm sorry that I said those things at dinner. I was just trying to say... All I meant to say was that I l-love Kael and I want to be with him. That's all..." Jae Dyn smiled. "I understand," she said. "And, it's alright. The only thing I fear is that your relationship with Kael may overshadow your commitment as a Jedi. But, I guess we will have to see what the future holds for us." She glanced toward the door and then back to Nieme with a smile. "Would you like to hold her?" Nieme nodded her head quickly and smiled brightly. "I-I do! I was...I almost asked before, but I thought you were mad at me and you'd say 'no', so I didn't bother asking at all. But now, I would like to hold her...if it's alright." "It is definitely alright," Jae Dyn said. "Come on, let's go meet Yelara Brael." She led the way out of the kitchen and lifted Yara from where she lay sleeping. She slowly opened her eyes and gurgled. Jae Dyn smiled and turned to Nieme. She carefully placed the baby in the young woman's arms. "She's still a little sleepy, but I think she'll wake up more here in a minute. She's usually really good about being held." "Oh... She...she's so beautiful." Nieme was rigid with anxiety as she held the baby in her arms. She'd never been near children before, not ones that young, and holding one was a unique experience for her...as well as a nerve wracking one. "Her eyes...they're so big and brown." Nieme giggled and looked back towards Kael. "Her eyes are brown, Kael. Just like the eyes in your dreams. Come and see." Kael stood from the table and moved close, though once he got close his steps became more hesitant. "She's beautiful," he said. "And, her eyes are very brown." He looked between Nieme and Jae Dyn and then laughed. "So, is there much of her father in her looks? Or are those all yours?" Jae Dyn stiffened and Liam looked away. He was just glad the man was dead, that Dargus Kandran could never bother them again. He was just glad that the child resembled Jae Dyn, and once again the hope that Yelara carried the child he fathered, and not the alternative. The change in mood of Jae Dyn, Liam, and Yelara was quickly evident to Nieme. She looked to Kael, who seemed to notice, as well, the atmosphere in the room become suddenly grave and dark. She gave him a gentle smile and closed the distance between them. "Here...you hold her now." She placed the baby in Kael's arms and laughed as Yara gurgled and cooed quietly. Yelara, too, was hit by Kael's question harder than she expected, but for Liam, she was determined to be strong. She caressed his cheek gently and kissed him before pushing back her chair and moving slowly towards the trio. "They're all Kallia's. The eyes, the smile... The child is Kallia's entirely." She stood beside Kael and lightly caressed Yara's cheek. She turned her gaze to Kallia and smiled warmly. "She is a Brael through and through. She has your likeness, Kallia, and I'm certain she'll bear your temperament too." Yelara laughed. "Which means she'll be about as stubborn as you are!" Kallia smiled, and then, unable to hold it back any longer, laughed. "And, I can't wait to see the little hellion that pops out of you," she said. "Can you imagine the mix of yours and Liam's stubbornness all rolled into one child? You will have your hands full, my love. Quite full." "And that's something I know I'll be grateful for everyday, knowing our child is truly ours, just as Yara is truly yours." Yelara gazed tenderly at Kallia as she slowly moved towards her. She kissed her lightly upon the cheek, then slid her arm around her waist as she looked back to Kael and Nieme gawking in amazement at Yara. "They're good kids, Kal. Please go easy on them and let them love eachother freely. It isn't right to stand in their way, not like D-- Not like he did with us." Kallia brushed her lips against Yel's. "I don't intend to stand in their way," she whispered. "I just don't want to...to see any problems with their relationship and their training as Jedi. It would be hypocritical of me to stop them though. I can't do that, especially not with how much they care for each other. It'd be wrong." "It would," Yelara said, trying to force back a sly grin. "So, I guess I was right to speak out against you during dinner." Yelara frowned and shook her head slowly. "It wasn't, though. I'm sorry. They're your responsibility and I have no right to criticize your methods. But I really really had to speak out in their favour. I couldn't help it." Kallia kissed Yel again, and her smile turned mischievous. "It's alright," she said. "I'll just make you pay for that later." Yelara's laughter caught Nieme's attention and as she looked up at the source of the commotion, she gasped quietly and quickly focused on Yara again. She'd never seen two women together, and watching Yelara and Jae Dyn exchanging light kisses and caresses was somehow shocking to Nieme. "Kael," she whispered. "Kael...they're...look at them. It's strange to me...but I don't know why. They kiss and touch...and Liam doesn't seem to mind very much, which is also strange." "They have a special arrangement where the three of them sort of share a relationship, though Jae Dyn and Liam don't go together; just each of them with Yelara. And, it's not really all that strange. They're two people who care for each other very much, so they kiss and touch...and other things." "Other things? Like..." Nieme's eyes grew wide with the realization of what Kael meant. She frowned and looked up at Kael quizzically. "I don't understand... She...and she... They don't have...lumps, Kael. How do they do...other things without a lump? There really is alot more to learn about sex than I think I will ever know." "There's more to sex than just that," he said. "They probably do lots of kissing and stuff like that. And, they can also use their mouths to please each other...down there." Nieme took in a sharp breath and stared at Jae Dyn and Yelara in disbelief. "Their...mouths? What...how..." She closed her eyes and calmed herself before deciding to focus on Yara rather than the scene before her. "They must really love eachother very much to do that. I...I could never...I don't think." Kael smiled. "It's really not that bad," he said. "And, it's quite pleasurable. But, I guess it all comes down to what you feel comfortable with, and what you are willing to do for your partner." Nieme nodded her head and continued taking deep breaths to calm her initial shock. She smiled at Kael and lay her head upon his shoulder as they gazed down at the baby. "I bet she would like hearing you play the baitar. You could play her the lullaby you played me." Kael glanced at the other three in the room and then back down to Yara. "Yeah," he said softly. "I guess I could. I don't know if we want to put her to sleep yet though, do we? I mean, she just sort of woke up." Nieme laughed. "It's ok. I can tell you're shy about it." She lightly kissed his neck, then rested her head upon his shoulder again. "The lullaby will be just for me...only for me." "Look at them," Yelara said as she fixed her gaze on Nieme and Kael. "I wonder if we're that disgustingly cute together. She's very timid, though and while talking to Kael during dinner, I got the impression he was very confident and willful. A weird sort of match, isn't it?" Kallia smiled. "I think they're very cute together," she said. "Nieme doesn't have much experience with life, and has absolutely no knowledge of sex. I think that's also some of where my cautioning came from. She's quite gone on him, and I'm just hoping she doesn't do things because he wants them, regardless of what she wants." "She does seem a bit innocent about things. I mean that outburst at dinner..." Yelara stifled a laugh, then sighed deeply. "All you can do is keep an eye on them, but don't be so hasty to interfere. They'll only resent you for it." Kallia nodded. "My biggest fear is that something could happen between them, and then they'd no longer be able to work together with us. I guess we'll deal with that if it happens." Yelara nodded her head and let her eyes wander to Liam. She laughed softly and cocked an eyebrow at Kallia. "He's especially quiet and broody tonight. What's wrong with him, or is it my duty as a wife to find that out on my own?" "We fought this morning when we got back," Kallia said. "About Nieme and Kael. I proposed that we should caution them about their relationship, he wanted to let them go ahead without our guidance at that point, other than helping Nieme understand things her guardian never had a chance to talk to her about. For the sake of the Temple, and the future of the Jedi, I wanted them to be cautious about going ahead with their relationship. So much could happen with it; I mean, look at all that's happened between you and I." "But what happened between us made our relationship stronger, Kallia. The mistakes are what thrust us onto the correct path. You'll have to let them work it out for themselves." Yelara smiled and kissed Kallia tenderly. "Let them make their mistakes, Kal. It'll save you and Liam alot of stress." "It's the mistake that dooms us all that I'm afraid of," Kallia whispered. "We're part of something much larger now. And, we're hunted for just being what we are. And, it just scares me. Hopefully my worries are for nothing and everything will be alright." "If it frightens you that much, Kallia, then maybe you should talk to them. Let them know you're not against their relationship, but warn them of the possible dangers and consequences. You're the master around here, Kal; I'm sure they'll listen." A laugh sounded from Kael and Nieme as they gazed down at the baby. Yara began giggling boisterously and squealing happily as Kael held her in his arms. "She likes them, Kal. We might have to let them babysit sometime." Kallia smiled. "I'd like that," she said. "It'd give us some time together." She looked around the dining room and then back to Yel. "What do you think about moving here to live?" "Here? Really?" Yelara surveyed the room, then looked back at Kallia with a slow smile. "Well...it is very comfortable, and it would mean we wouldn't have to spend so much time apart..." Yelara laughed and nodded her head. "I would like to move in here, but I would have to discuss it with Liam. Who knows if he'll even want me around here. He thinks I'm a troublemaker, for some odd reason." "You are a troublemaker," Kallia said with a laugh. "But, I think if you were here, it'd cut down on the amount of traffic to this place. If we have to come out here frequently, the chances of being followed increase. This place is practically invisible, but a tail following a speeder could lead someone right here." Kal looked into Yelara's eyes. "I want you here, and that would mean Yara would be here too. I don't want to spend days away from my girl, or my girls." Yelara could do nothing to wipe the smile off her face and quickly embraced Kallia. "Then we'll be right here with you. I don't think I could bear to be away from you and Liam for as long as I was these past two days. And while I'm here, maybe I can help out." Yelara looked at Kallia with excitement. "I could teach them how to build surveillance devices. I could turn them into little Jedi spies. That would be fun." "I think we're going to make this work, Yel," Kallia said. "I've never been part of something big, but this time I think we're gonna do it. We're really going to make something larger than us that will last long after we're gone. It's a powerful feeling, and I'm so happy to be able to share it with you." "Don't get too excited or we'll accidentally give Nieme a lesson in human relations she may not be ready to see." Yelara slipped her hand into Kallia's and gently pulled her along. "Come. Let's go tell Liam of our little arrangement." "Good idea," Kallia said. "I hope he's okay with it. Though, I think you have ways of making him be okay with it. And, maybe I'll surprise both of you and help you convince him." Nieme watched as Kallia and Yelara passed by them and moved towards the table. Her attention was drawn back to Yara as she gurgled again then stretched her mouth open in a sleepy yawn. Infected by Yara's display, Nieme too yawned and closed her eyes as she rested her head upon Kael's shoulder. "Do you think it would be rude if we went back to our room? I think I'm still fatigued from the excitement of these past two days." "I think it'd be alright," he said and then slowly put Yara back into the makeshift crib. "Let's go while you still can stand." He started toward the door, but before they moved past the table, he added: "We're both pretty tired, so we're heading to bed." Yelara turned her head slowly to face them, then smiled slyly. "Together?" She looked back at Kallia and Liam then said, "I think they've got the right idea. I haven't seen you two for almost two days. Are the walls soundproofed?" Liam smiled. "I'm fairly certain they're soundproofed," he said. "Half a meter thick stone better be. We'll see the two of you in the morning to begin your training. Goodnight, Nieme. Goodnight, Kael." "Goodnight," Kael said, to all three sitting at the table. "We'll be ready for our training, and for helping you find others like us." Nieme smiled bashfully and said her goodnights as well before looking away shyly and heading out with Kael. She gave a relieved sigh as she and Kael finally entered the corridor and started away from the dining hall. "That was...that was the most nerve wracking evening I've ever had. It was fun, though, except when...well...when I made a fool of myself." Kael glanced down at her and cocked his head to the side. "I didn't think you made a fool of yourself," he said. "You were just speaking your mind. Yelara shoveling food into her mouth as if she were afraid one of us would grab her plate before she could finish it seemed more foolish than anything you said." Nieme laughed and wrapped her arms around Kael's waist as they walked. "She really liked your Hojet. She seemed nice, though. She looked very young too, but there was a maturity about her I envied. And to be loved by two people... She must really be special." Kael wrapped his arms around Nieme and pulled her to him. "I hope being loved by only one person is enough for you," he said with a smile. "I...I think..." Nieme laughed nervously and focused on anything but Kael's eyes. "I...I hope you liked the dress. I bought it as a surprise for you. The...the nice lady at the shop...she helped me. She was very nice... I hope you like it. I really hope you do..." Kael smiled. "I do like it," he said. "You look....it suits you very much. And, you do look very beautiful, Nieme. You are very beautiful." He watched her for a moment and then laughed. "I think I should do that water thing before we go to sleep." "Why? I don't mind the dirt. I...I don't mind. Really," she said with a smile. Kael laughed. "Well, you smell really nice, and you're all clean and beautiful. I think I should be clean for you too. Especially if we're sleeping in a new bed here. I wouldn't want to get it all dirty." "Oh...I see. Well...I can wait for you in the room. Will you be long?" Nieme glanced up at Kael with a smile expressing her longing and sudden yearning. "I...I'll wait for you. I'll try not to fall asleep. If I do...promise you'll wake me up." Kael smiled. "I promise," he said, and then kissed her. "And, I don't think I should be too long. I mean, how long can a person just stand under running water? It should be quick. You sure you'll be okay waiting? I mean, if you want to sleep while I'm in there, that's fine." "I'll wait," Nieme assured him. "I'd wait forever for you." With a bashful smile, she pulled away from Kael and departed towards their room. She glanced back at him and laughed nervously, feeling very conscious of his eyes following her as she walked. Hurrying her pace, she turned the corner to escape his scrutiny, no matter how welcomed it was. "Jedi Temple: Pursuing Intimacy" *** Once Nieme was out of sight, Kael quickly hurried to the refresher. He stripped off his clothing and climbed into the stall. At first, having the water pouring down on top of him was disconcerting. After a few minutes, though, he got more used to it. It was fifteen minutes later when he finally stepped out and dried himself off. He looked down at his old clothes and frowned. He couldn't put those on, not after getting all clean. He wrapped the towel around himself and picked up his clothing. When he finally emerged in the room, he set his clothes aside and looked sheepishly at Nieme. "I didn't have anything clean to change into," he said. Nieme shifted on the bed and turned away from the window she'd been gazing out of it, but quickly looked back towards it after seeing Kael's naked chest and the towel loosely wrapped around his waist. Somehow, seeing him almost bare made her feel that much less clothed in her gown. "It...it's okay. I mean...you...I could... Should I go?" Kael looked down at his towel and back up at Nieme. "Oh, I should probably try to find something I can wear to bed. And, you don't want to sleep in your dress. I can step out if you wanted to change into something else. I can just grab something to change into, and go back to the refresher." "No! I-I mean...it's our room. You...you shouldn't have to go all the way to the refresher to change. I'll just...I'll keep staring out of the window while you...well...while you change." Nieme glanced at Kael's reflection in the window and smiled at how pleasant looking at his chest was. She'd only ever touched it through his shirt, but seeing it bared now suddenly made touching it that much more appealing. Kael shrugged. "Alright," he said. He grabbed the packages he'd purchased earlier in the day and pulled out one of the pairs of lightweight workout pants he'd bought. He dropped the towel to the floor and slipped into the pants, trying hard not to think of Nieme sitting just a short distance away for the brief couple moments he was naked. When he was wearing the pants, he approached the bed. "All set," he said. Nieme finally let go of her breath as Kael assured her he was fully clothed. When she turned to face him, she realized his chest was still bare. She reached behind her and gripped the sheets, watching Kael only a short distance away from her. "Uh...it was... Yara was cute, wasn't she? I mean, I've seen babies before, but..." Nieme laughed uncomfortably and tried desperately to keep her eyes from straying back to Kael's chest. "I...I mean, it's funny. All they do is sleep and eat...no troubles in the world, but you take them out for a while to play, and it's like...within minutes, they're tired and crying for some chest--I mean rest! Crying for...for rest. Oh gods..." Nieme flushed and clenched her eyes shut against the embarrassment she suddenly felt. She realized she was making a bigger fool of herself than at dinner...and she hadn't thought she could get more foolish than that. Kael moved to the bed and took a seat next to her, but not too close. He didn't want to make her more flustered than she already was. "It's alright," he said. "I imagine you haven't seen...well, like this, very much. Um, did you want to change into something to sleep in?" "I-I-I've never...never really seen that...not alot." Nieme swallowed back her anxiety and finally managed to pry her eyelids open. She gasped quietly as Kael's chest came into view again, and tried to ease her tension by laughing. "I mean...it's just a chest, right? And...and I'll probably be seeing it alot...I guess." She looked up at Kael nervously, then looked down at her dress. "I wore this for you so you'd think... I wanted you to think I was desirable. But...but now, with you here like that and me...like this... I'm nervous and I know I shouldn't be because I trust you and know you would never do anything I didn't want you to but... I just can't help but be nervous." "I think you're very desirable, Nieme," Kael said. "If you don't feel you're ready for this, we don't have to. I can just sleep in the other room. Or I can put more clothes on. Whatever makes you more comfortable." He reached out and slipped his hand into hers. "It's okay to be nervous." "No, Kael! It's not okay. I-I don't want to be nervous around you." Nieme looked down at Kael's hand in hers and frowned. "We're supposed to be in love," she said dejectedly. "How can we be in love if I can't even look at you without getting sick to my stomach with anxiety? I don't want to recoil at your touch because I do like it when you touch me...yet still I do. What's wrong with me, Kael?" "There's nothing wrong," Kael said softly. "It's just...this first step is really difficult sometimes, that's all. It's not a sign that there's anything wrong with us; you're just nervous about being intimate. That happens to some people. It just means we have to go slowly, that's all." He held his arms open for her. "It's going to be alright." Nieme watched Kael with arms spread and his chest fully revealed to her as if in offerring. Her breathing came shakily to her and her chest grew heavy as the anxiety she had only just spoken of afflicted her again. She would never overcome her fears if she didn't open herself up to Kael, just as he was now to her. With all her heart, she didn't want to lose Kael and although a simple gesture on his part, it was a test for Nieme and failure meant disappointment to her. Gazing intently at Kael's chest, Nieme took a deep breath and flew into his arms with a surprised gasp. She buried her face into his chest and kissed it fervently. Her hands clumsily fumbled with Kael's pants as she tried to push them over his waist, despite the voice in her head telling her resoundingly that this was not a step she was ready to take yet. Her lips continued to make contact with Kael's bare chest, her mind reeling and her heart pounding with an almost painful intensity. As her hand delved into Kael's pants, she gasped again at the hardness against her palm, but she was determined not to pull away this time. Kael gasped as her hand found his now-erect cock. He slipped one arm around her waist to hold her steady, and the other pulled her face from his chest and up to his lips. He heard himself moan as Nieme groped within his pants. The drawstring that had been holding them closed was now loose and he could feel the air working across his bare skin, contrasting with the warmth of Nieme's hand. "We don't have to if you're not ready for this," he whispered. "We can hold off. Just hold each other and sleep." Nieme pulled back and looked at Kael worriedly. "You...you don't want this?" She quickly withdrew her hand from Kael's pants and searched his eyes as she breathed heavily. "But...I thought...I want this, Kael. You don't? Why?" Kael looked into Nieme's eyes. "I want this," he said. "I want this more than anything. I just want to be sure that you want this too." He kissed her. "If you want this, my love, then it's okay." He pulled her to him again, and kissed her passionately. Nieme gazed up into Kael's eyes and said, almost pleadingly, "I do want this, Kael. I know I may still be afraid, but I always will be. I...I just have to overcome that. I-I need to do this, Kael. Don't push me away." Kael took Nieme's hand in his and brought it back to his groin. "I won't push you away," he said. "And, if you get scared, just look into my eyes. I won't let anything bad happen to you, Nieme. You'll be fine." She moaned softly and closed her eyes as her hand groped at Kael's groin of its own volition. She felt the same tingling and warmth between her legs she felt during their first close encounter, but this time, she let the sensations culminate instead of trying to push them away. "I don't know what to do next, Kael," she whispered. "Help me. Please." Kael trailed kisses down to Nieme's throat as his hands moved to the fastenings at the back of her dress. Gently, he unclasped the first, and then the second. His eyes gazed upward, into hers, doing all he could to ease her fears with a look, a touch. Finally, the last of the clasps was free, and he gently eased the dress down. Once the air was upon her bare flesh, Nieme's eyes flew open and she instinctively covered her breasts with her arms. She looked down at the dress now bunched around her waist and knew she and Kael were now closer than ever to consummating their desires, and more than ever she knew she was nowhere near ready. She would raise no protest, though; she'd already taken Kael to the brink before, and no matter how many times he told her he'd never leave, even she knew a person could only be pushed so far before reaching the precipice and going over the edge. No one would wait forever for her, not even Kael. Nieme's body trembled as she clung tightly to herself, but she didn't pull away from Kael. "I-I-I've never... This is new for me. I've never been without my clothes in front of anyone. I...I... Don't stop, Kael, no matter how afraid I am." Kael kissed her gently, and then moved the kisses down toward her hands and arms covering her breasts. He took her hands and pulled them gently away from her breasts. He looked up into her eyes and smiled, hoping she'd find comfort there. Then he bent his head to her breasts and kissed them softly, first one and then the other. Nieme shuddered and whimpered softly as the warmth from Kael's lips spread across her chest and breasts. She didn't know where to put her hands or what to do with them, so she rested them on the bed and gripped the sheets as Kael's kisses continued. Her eyes were wide with surprise and fear while she looked down at her breasts, swollen and hued red in the physical manifestation of her arousal. They felt heavy upon her chest and her nipples protruded as if a chill had run through her body. The transformation was curious to Nieme who could do nothing but stare as one nipple, then the next was taken into Kael's mouth. She heard herself moaning softly, but she was so entranced with what Kael was doing to her, that she could do nothing more than stare fixedly at him moving his lips across her chest. Kael pulled his lips from her breasts and looked up at her. Without taking his eyes from hers, he helped her lay back on the bed, while gently caressing her skin. Then he started trailing kisses down over her belly while using one hand to ease the dress over her hips. Nieme emitted a frightened whimper as she became completely vulnerable to Kael. She lay rigid on the bed, knowing from Kael's lessons what to expect next but still unprepared for it. Her legs remained pressed tightly closed and her fingers played nervously with the sheets as she watched in stark fear Kael's head travelling lower and precariously closer to her mound. "Kael... I...what's happening now?" "Remember what I was saying about Jae Dyn and Yelara," he said, as he continued to plant kisses around her thighs and in the soft hair over her mound. "If you don't like it, I'll stop. But, I think it will feel very good for you." Nieme was unable to respond except by taking in a staggering breath and clutching the sheets tightly. Kael's warm breath gently caressed her bare thighs and when his lips brushed aginst her opening, Nieme gasped and felt her body becoming more rigid. She chewed on her lip, trying desperately not to look down at Kael and focus upon what he was doing. She never imagined experiencing the intense sensations he was inspiring in her, and although it felt wonderful, Nieme couldn't deny that she was still utterly terrified. Kael continued kissing along Nieme's thighs and back up towards her belly. "You need to relax or you'll snap in two," he said softly. "Nieme, you're frightened, so much so that all the muscles in your body are all clenched tight. We can't make love with you like that. You're not enjoying it." "I-I-I am," Nieme said shakily, and not very reassuringly. "I just... I'll relax, Kael. I promise." She swallowed back the acrid taste accompanying her fear and tried to loosen her tight muscles, but the moment she did, she only began trembling uncontrollably. "I'm relaxed... I am..." Kael slid up the bed until he was lying next to her, and then pulled her into his arms. "You're not relaxed," he whispered. "You're scared out of your mind." He kissed her lovingly, then looked into her eyes. "Why don't we try again tomorrow, Nieme? And, now we'll just curl up together in bed and sleep." Nieme took in four successive deep breaths before finding her voice. She frowned at Kael and chewed on her lip so he wouldn't notice them trembling from suppressed tears. "You...you don't want me? I...I thought... You don't want me," she said quietly. "Why don't you want me?" "Nieme," Kael said, his eyes caught in hers, "I love you. I want to be with you, I want to make love to you. I want you. Very much. But...but, you're scared, and trembling...and you really don't look like you're enjoying this. I don't want you to be afraid of this...I can't that way..." He looked away, not wanting her to see the look in his eyes at the thoughts churning to the surface. "I won't rape you." "W-What?" Nieme shifted onto her side and ran her hand lightly across his cheek. She was no longer preoccupied with the fact that she was completely exposed to Kael, and quickly wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. "It...it wasn't rape, Kael. I wanted it...I think. No...I do want it, I just don't know if I was ready or if I was forcing myself to be ready..." Nieme loosened her arms and pulled away so she could find Kael's eyes with hers. "You're not a rapist, Kael. The fact that you stopped proves that. I...I love you, Kael. I don't want you to do this if it makes you feel like that. I'm sorry." "If your body says no," Kael said, "then I don't want you like that. I want all of you saying yes, not just the part of you that wants to be a woman. If all of you isn't ready yet, then we should curl up together really close and sleep. In each other's arms." "You...you're not mad? I did it again...but are you mad?" Nieme looked down, but quickly looked away as she caught a glimpse of her breasts, bared and flattened against Kael's chest. She closed her eyes and pulled Kael tightly to her, if only to conceal her naked body. Kael kissed her. "I'm not upset at all," he said. "I could never be upset at you." He glanced down, though he couldn't see much of her body, and then back up into her eyes. "You truly are beautiful, Nieme. And I just want to be with you, however I can be. We'll make love eventually, but I want it special for both of us." Nieme nodded solemnly, then lay her head upon Kael's shoulder. "I think... Do you think I should have a talk with Yelara sometime? I tried with Jae Dyn Brael, but that didn't turn out too well. Yelara...she's young. Maybe...maybe she can talk to me and make me more comfortable. I want to do that, Kael. I want to become comfortable for you...for both of us." Kael smiled. "I think talking to Yelara would be perfect," he said. "I mean, she seemed to be on our side. She'd give you good advice, I think. Maybe tomorrow morning you can talk to her when Jae Dyn isn't around." He sighed softly as he gazed at her and realized he wanted no one else in his life but her. "Are you going to be alright sleeping like that? Or did you want to get something else? If you want to sleep like that, I'll keep you warm." "I...I think it would be good for me to stay like this, right?" Nieme looked at Kael and smiled softly. "When you kissed me...down there...it felt nice. Maybe when I'm not so scared, you could do that again." Kael smiled. "I would love to do that again," he said. "Very much. And, if you wanted to stay like that while we sleep, I won't mind. You're very beautiful, Nieme." He looked down at the pants he wore and laughed softly. "It'd probably be too much if we were both like that, wouldn't it? I'll keep my pants on." Nieme looked at Kael wide-eyed and nodded quickly. "I-I-I don't think I could handle that yet, but...I could sleep under the covers and you can sleep up top...if you want to take your p-pants off." "I wouldn't really be able to hold you if you were under the covers and I wasn't," he said. "I'll just keep them on. It's alright. You ready to sleep now? We can crawl under and I'll hold you while you fall asleep." Nieme smiled shyly and reluctantly pulled away from Kael. With her body separated from his, she was fully exposed again, which evoked another surge of anxiety. She scrambled to get under the covers and when she was finally concealed, she looked at Kael and sighed softly. "I'm...I really am glad you love me, Kael. I've never loved anyone before, and I don't think I could have chosen someone better to love for my first time." Kael smiled and slid under the covers with her. "I'd rather hold you than be naked tonight," he said. "I hope you don't mind." "I'd rather be...not naked, but I like how you feel against me." Nieme sighed and closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Kael's waist and pressed herself gently against him. "I think I'm getting closer to feeling not so uncomfortable, Kael," she whispered. "I think we're going to be okay." Kael kissed her softly. "I'm glad," he said. "I want you to feel very comfortable with me. I want everything to feel right with us." "Kael..." Nieme laughed and kissed him tenderly. "You really are a romantic. If I didn't know your past, I would never have believed you were the leader of a gang. You're too gentle for that." "I know I've done some bad things in my life," he said. "But, I was only trying to make things better. I don't know if that makes sense. I always thought driving the wetters out would save Thanatos. I guess growing up with a gang, I never really learned much else. You saved me from that though." "No, Kael. It was your decision to leave; I just presented you with the choice." Nieme smoothed her hand over Kael's chest and kissed him gently. "You saved yourself. That's why I'm so proud of you." Kael kissed her in return. "But if it weren't for you," he said, "I wouldn't have been given the chance to make that decision." "Fine. I'll take half the credit, but the rest of it depends on you. You have still some ways to go, but I'll be there, no matter how much of a coward I am when it comes to s-sex." Nieme looked down at their naked chests pressed together and noted how perfect the moment was, but it would have been moreso if they had been embracing each other's naked bodies after making love. "Tomorrow," Nieme said softly. "Tomorrow we can try again. I want to try again, Kael." "Me too," Kael whispered. "I want to be with you, Nieme." He kissed her again. "For now, I'll be content holding you in my arms. You're a perfect fit there, you know. We're a perfect fit." Nieme laughed bashfully then hid her flushed cheeks by laying her head upon Kael's chest. "Life will only get better from here," she said dreamily. "These past two days have been the most exciting of my life, and I don't think it's a coincidence that you were there through it all. You make my life exciting, Kael." "It'll only be more exciting from here," he said. "From now on, we'll never be apart. And, I promise to always make your life exciting." Nieme held back a yawn, then sighed wearily. "Well, you can continue injecting happiness into my life tomorrow...after we've slept for say...12 hours." "A very good idea," Kael said, stifling a yawn of his own. "Now, rest safely in my arms, my naked nymph, and I will keep you safe." Nieme giggled softly and obeyed Kael willingly. She buried herself deeper under the covers and lay protectively in Kael's arms. Being with him as he was, she couldn't understand how Jae Dyn failed to trust him and questioned his intentions. If anyone was pushing for sex, Nieme knew it was she, not Kael. In him, she felt the same fear she was confronted with when their desires began burning uncontrollably. He seemed just as trepid about sex as she was, which made her trust him even more. Tomorrow, though, she would lay bare in his arms again, but by then, she hoped to have gathered up enough courage, to dispell her fears, and finally be able to physically express her love for Kael, as well as prove wrong any who dared doubt them. "Road to Nowhere, Part 1" Location: Drogen Shipyards, Xayled's Abyss *** A profit is a profit. It had been a long day. That fact had suprised Gideon. He had expected to sell his cargo in half the time, but most of the buyers treated him like he was some sort of grocery market, rather than a trader. Having been treated to his first day on the station, the former smuggler decided he needed a drink...or two or three. If this was the way he was going to get by on this drifting hunk of metal, he may be spending his time in cantinas more often. Hood still overdraping his head, Tyr took a look around the place as he sat in his corner seat. It was...he stopped for a moment, thinking back on what he had seen of the station so far. Dirty. Dark. Disgusting. And that was being nice. Yes, this place was much better. A humable tune played on some music box in the distance, and the lighting was good. Quite a place to set up some trading, now that he thought about it. Quietly sipping on his water, Gideon saw an elderly Human with greying hair approach his table. Oh now what, another Tatooine water-front property salesman again, he said to himself. The number of scammers in this place had been remarkable. "Greetings. Mind if I sit down?" Without waiting for a response the man, clad in a casual buisness suit, sat down across from Tyr. A wide smile was on his slightly wrinkled face, as he pulled out a piece of synth-paper. Unstartled, Gideon merely took another drink of his water. He'd hear what the man had to say before he decided whether to throw him out or not. People deserved that much. "I say good, Sir. I saw you earlier selling your goods, and you look like just the...um..." A puzzled look came across the man's face. "I'm sorry I can't quite tell what you are, but anyways, I think you could be of great help to me if you'd be interested, yes?" This man was quite the talkative one. He seemed kind enough though. What the heck? Raising his head, Gideon said softly, "I'm listening." The smile crept back onto the other man's face. "Ah, excellent. Yes, yes. Oh, the name's Ferris by the way." Gently the elderly man pushed the paper next to Gideon. "I'm a..I'm an amateur archeologist. I go digging around old planets in search of long lost colonies or the what not, and my recent employer has tasked me with getting something he wants from one of my..um...digs. Unfortunately, my ship's hyperdrive was, er...damaged, and I need someone to finish the rest of the journey to drop it off in this system. Pretty easy, yes?" Gideon blinked. First thing was first. "What's the cargo?" Gideon had his standards. If the cargo was bad, he wasn't doing the job. Even if the Imperial Emperor himself asked, it didn't matter. Ferris pointed to the paper near Gideon. "Oh, it's on that paper...um...I didn't get your name." Not answering just yet, the near-human took a look at the synth paper. A somewhat cold feeling came over him, though, as he did. That always seemed to happen quite recently. Ever since he came to this system... Putting his thoughts back onto the task at hand, he took a look at the paper. It was some sort of contract. Seemed legal enough. The cargo consisted of unlisted artifacts and tapestries. Artwork it seemed, mostly. Dropping it down, and sliding it back to Ferris, he asked, "Your employer some sort of collector?" Ferrris's face went blank for a moment as if in thought himself, then quickly he smiled back to Gideon. "Yes. Now, if you accept, I can promise one thousand credits. Five hundred now and five hundred when you return. Well worth the time guarding the cargo and making the run in-system at sublight, yes?" Indeed it was. The cargo must either be hot, or really expensive to offer that much for a simple caargo run. Either way though, it was easy creds, and the person asking was better than Gideon had met before. He always had a soft heart for people in need, especially when they paid. "The name's Gideon. When do I go?" A quick glint of the man's eyes and an even bigger smile greeted Tyr. "Well the rendezvous isn't until tommorow. I could load you up tonight, and you can leave in the morning, yes?" Gideon nodded. "Agreed. You can meet me in bay..." Ferris held his hand up, interrupting him. "I know where your ship is. I'll be there." Quickly he slapped a cred slip in front of Gideon. "There's your first part as promised. You can meet me back here in two days for the rest. My repairs will be complete by then. See you around." Just as abrubtly as he came, he left. Odd man, thought Gideon. It didn't really matter anyways. A profit was a profit. |