"Play Me a Dirge, Matey"
By: Lorgal - Bodyguard and "Special Services"
Alekzander - Captain of the Altdorf
Dirge Ocimartl Wagsthedog - Betrayer and Captive

Date: Saris 1, 5ABY
Location: Hyperspace, on the way to Tigris III

***

The smell of hot kaf filled the bridge of the Corellian Corvette Altdorf. It's captain had developed a taste for the stuff after a brief stay on Dathomir. Lorgal couldn't stand the bitter liquid himself, but it smelled rather pleasant.

"So what do you want to do with him?" the pirate asked his hulking Barabel friend.

"The Boss said to get rid of him, but I'm just not sure how to do it."

"Why not just kick him out of an airlock and be done with it?"

Lorgal shrugged. "This is the asshole that betrayed The Boss all those years ago on Coruscant, so I kind of want to make it special, you know? Something that when I talk to him again, and he asks, 'So what did you do with him?' I can say something like, 'Oh I did such and such, and it must have hurt like hell'."

Alekzander sipped at his steaming cup. "Hmmmm, torture for the sake of it just isn't my style, though it is fun sometimes."

"Yeah, I don't want to torture him, I'm not a monster." He grinned at his friend who chuckled knowingly. Out of most of the varied species in the Galaxy, Barabels where the ones considered to be the most monstrous. After all, nobody else except maybe the Hutts ate other intelligent beings. "But I am hungry."

With an eyebrow raised, the pirate captain asked jokingly, "You have a good recipe for Bothan?"

"No, but that doesn't mean there's not a good one on Holonet."

Alekzander laughed, "Very true!"

*** Brig, Altdorf ***

Dirge was not having a good life. The Imperials were OK, not having infringed on his organization while it was on Coruscant, but those bastards at the New Republic had started rooting them out from day 1. After most of his fellows were arrested or eliminated, Dirge fled, eventually ending up on a remote space station were he planned to start over.

It didn't end up that way, however, since a man he had long thought had found him. The Bothan gritted his teeth. Rylaa Lyssander, that moron of a Barabel had told him who sent him. When he got out of here, and he was positive he would, the fat bastard would pay with more than just his life.

A shadow fell over him and he looked up. The Barabel was back, but this time he was grinning and carried a large vibroknife?

"Wh-what do you plan on doing with that?" Dirge asked in a shaky voice.

"I'm hungry," can the reply. All thoughts of revenge having been chased out of his mind, Dirge could only gulp in fear.

*** Galley, Altdorf ***

Alekzander walked into the Galley on the Altdorf to find a hilarious picture. A massive Barabel wearing an apron and a floppy white chef's hat slaving over a large pot of boiling something.

"Where the hell did you find that hat?" he said between bursts of laughter.

Lorgal actually looked slightly embarrassed, "I brought it with me."

That made Alekzander laugh harder. Tears were now flowing freely down his face as he clutched his stomach. "Why?" was all he could get out.

"Because I like to cook."

Now the normally reserved pirate captain was on the deck, laughing so hard he could no longer speak. After a few more moments he was able to control himself enough to stand back up. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry. But that was the funniest damn things I think I've ever seen in a long life of seeing ridiculous things."

Lorgal frowned.

"N-not that I'm calling you ridiculous," Alekzander stammered out. The Barabel was not known for keeping his temper, even among friends. Two of Alekzander's pirates were found twisted mangled after 'accidentally' falling down the hydraulic shaft that control the dorsal turret. "What's the pot anyway? You've never cooked before."

"Bothan," Lorgal replied.

Alekzander paled, "Bothan? You really... I mean you didn't... Did you?"

Lorgal grinned and lifted the spoon he had been stirring the cookpot with, on it sat a pale cube of meat along with several forms of vegetable. Alekzander paled further until Lorgal belted out a laugh of his own. "No I didn't kill him," he said.

The captain let out a sigh of relief.

"He still has his other leg."

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